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24 May 2003, 19:20
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#1
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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[Retro] Ask JBOY
Whilst perusing old text files i have on my system , i came across this little gem. If i remember rightly , i asked Mr Baxter to become the PA Agony Aunt for a week. The questions listed were all genuine, and by the users who have been named.
This concept would have been "Ask Kura" , but i have nowhere near a high enough profile.
Ask JBOY
Jammers
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"why do the kids at school laugh at me?"
<JBOY> Probably because theyve been laid more often then you.
"is it normal to spend weekends watching buses?"
<JBOY> Aye. We dae it all the time in Fife. We watch the boats too. Were mad soan we uhr!
"would it be possible to use genetic engineering to create a half-man, half-monkey creature?
<JBOY> Naw. The world isnt big enough for two Dark Lord Seth's
Rids
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Can I have a Big Mac, large fries and a strawberry milkshake please?
<JBOY> Naw. Cos yer a pasty faced southern poofter.
Grimble
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"who are you anyways?"
<JBOY> The rebirth of Stanley Baxter. But harder. And Funnier.
Dark Lord Seth
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"Do you wipe from the back to the sack or from the sack to the back?"
<JBOY> Only when im wiping mah arse wi your face.
WarFalcon
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'what website\book have you read that would be the most difficult to admit to your friends'
<JBOY> Ah cannae read.
Rhumsaa
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"why do you have an obsession with worms voices"
<JBOY> Cos they sound like mah burd. Ah luv mah burd.
Flavius
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"shall i blame you ?"
<JBOY> Only if ye want tae be eatin thru a straw fir the rest of yer life.
Iniluki
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"Am i suppost to bleed from my ass?"
<JBOY> It Depends what ive jammed up there. If its a brick , then yes.
"Do you think the cops know about the body in your boot yet?"
<JBOY> Whit you talkin aboot. It wis there when i bought the car.
"So when are you planning to over throw JammyJim?"
<JBOY> Youre assuming im no already in control.
"You said what about MarilynManson?"
<JBOY> That he wis yer faither , and yer maw is Bloomers.
Hobbie Rogue 4
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What caused your picture to be so grainy looking?
<JBOY> We still use Pinhole cameras here in Fife.
What exactly goes into your hair that makes it styled?
<JBOY> The same thing we use in the vats to fry the chips.
Why is it that when I make a thread titled 'JBOY' it gets turned into a default of 'Jboy'?
<JBOY> Does this look like ask ****ing jeeves? NAW!
Do you have a twin?
<JBOY> Taratang is like me , only mair ginger , and harder.
Is this yours?
<JBOY> Never seen it before. Those arent mah fingerprints. I wasnt in the area at the time.
Have you ever wondered what it is that's displayed in text on www.jboy.com?
<JBOY> Probably gay porn. I dont gie a **** about websites full a poofs. Thats Nod's job.
Oye
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IF THE FOOTBALL WAS SQUARE, WOULD THE AMOUNT OF WEIRD RESULTS IN THE WC DIMINISH?
<JBOY> Nah , the Koreans would still beat everyone. Cheating little bastards!
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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24 May 2003, 20:14
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#2
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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'Dear Dace' was the original and The Best!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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24 May 2003, 20:19
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#3
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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I don't remember that at all :(((((((((
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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24 May 2003, 20:24
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#4
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyBGood
I don't remember that at all ((((((((
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I got annoyed with Deirdries poor advice so i took the questions/situations she was presented with and gave GD the benefit of my considered opinion.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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24 May 2003, 20:25
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#5
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
I got annoyed with Deirdries poor advice so i took the questions/situations she was presented with and gave GD the benefit of my considered opinion.
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I think we should restart this. You, me, nod and kura could answer everyone's queries!
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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24 May 2003, 20:28
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#6
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Anon.
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: not in Milton Keynes
Posts: 491
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lol kill yourself ?
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24 May 2003, 20:28
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#7
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyBGood
I think we should restart this. You, me, nod and kura could answer everyone's queries!
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'genius'
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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24 May 2003, 20:35
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#8
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Quote:
Originally posted by Freakozoid
lol kill yourself ?
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I was thinking more
Dear Virgin and Unhappy,
Nod says he'll solve your problem.
Yours sincerely,
Logged into nodrog's board account.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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24 May 2003, 20:57
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#9
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyBGood
I think we should restart this. You, me, nod and kura could answer everyone's queries!
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I can arrange that if you wish. Every question we get given gets 4 answers.
Questions to be sent via PM or asked on IRC?
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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24 May 2003, 20:58
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#10
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WHY DID YOU PUSH GRANDMA
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 400
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Call me a bluff traditionalist, but aren't aunts usually female?
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24 May 2003, 21:07
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#11
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Quote:
Originally posted by huh
Call me a bluff traditionalist, but aren't aunts usually female?
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[list=1][*]Only if youre employed by a **** national newspaper[*]Rule #1 of the internet - There are no females on the internet[/list=1]
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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24 May 2003, 21:21
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#12
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It was a Stupid Dream
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Winchester, UK
Posts: 2,077
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i had a idea to post old stuff
i couldnt be bothered
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25 May 2003, 09:11
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#13
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Retired
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: BONNY SCOTLAND
Posts: 869
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Fake irc logs are sooooooo,
erm,
theres a phrase that's actually about a year out of date now....
doesnt matter.,
wasnt me
__________________
This space reserved for next Signature.
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25 May 2003, 22:05
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#14
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 773
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I found this thread searching for my name
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25 May 2003, 22:10
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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I found this thread searching for Grimble.
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27 May 2003, 17:35
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#16
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Banned
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 337
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You made me laugh out loud my friends. It was a deep belly laugh that made my huge **** rub up against my inner thigh and pull free from where I keep it teathered durring work to prevent the ladies from being distracted.
Now I have to go adjust my harness, thank you though I needed the laugh.
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27 May 2003, 17:55
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#17
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Guest
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I'm more than you guys will ever be. Why you might ask!? Simply because I'm married to a barbiedoll.
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27 May 2003, 18:00
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#18
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Do you live in the Barbican?
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27 May 2003, 18:09
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#19
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Banned
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 337
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
Do you live in the Barbican?
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or Barbiminivan?
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27 May 2003, 18:23
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#20
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
Do you live in the Barbican?
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No stupid! I live in Barbielicous.
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28 May 2003, 10:18
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#21
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
No stupid! I live in Barbielicous.
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I thought barbados would have been better.
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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28 May 2003, 12:36
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#22
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Radical Edward
I thought barbados would have been better.
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I've been there and it's just awefull! Everything is grey and brown. I only like light/navy blue or pink/fluffy for my Barbie.
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28 May 2003, 12:40
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#23
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
I've been there and it's just awefull! Everything is grey and brown. I only like light/navy blue or pink/fluffy for my Barbie.
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sounds like you have been on the Barbi-turates.
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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28 May 2003, 12:42
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#24
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Radical Edward
sounds like you have been on the Barbi-turates.
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I do not like the voice of your tone?
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28 May 2003, 14:53
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#25
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
I do not like the voice of your tone?
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Hey guys, you think it's a gimmick account*?
*I've broken my sarcasm detector :((((((((((
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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28 May 2003, 14:59
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#26
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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you broke your sarcasm detector long ago, but thats what you get for talking to dace fs
__________________
lazy
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