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16 Jan 2003, 12:11
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#1
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Caption Contest
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...rescott300.jpg
BBC are running a caption contest on this as well, but i wanted to see what the best "Comedy Minds" remaining on GD could come up with, as one wag has already pointed out that anyone remotely funny "Has long since been banned from the site"
Prove them wrong!
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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16 Jan 2003, 12:16
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#2
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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'You fat ****'
'John Prescott standing by his claim that he isn't a paedophile, he was just testing his eyes'
'John Prescott opening the new Margaret Thather Peep Show Experience at Blackpool'
'Mr. Prescott wasn't expecting Gilchrist's RobotOfDoom at the ACAS meeting'
'It took a while to choose which chin to put on the stand'
'Specsavers regretted their choice of the new face of Optometry'
Best I can do in 'a few seconds'. I'm off for a coffee and some inspiration.
Last edited by pablissimo; 16 Jan 2003 at 12:25.
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16 Jan 2003, 12:22
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#3
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Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
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'Prepare to die Mr. Bond!'
'Compression programme starting in 5...4...3...'
'Who stuck that slug under my eye?'
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ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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16 Jan 2003, 12:23
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#4
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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'Mr. Kipling insisted on extra security measures for Prescott's tour around the plant'
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16 Jan 2003, 12:23
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#5
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Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
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Quote:
Originally posted by pablissimo
'You fat ****'
'Mr. Prescott wasn't expecting Gilchrist's RobotOfDoom at the ACAS meeting, but it's a bit late now'
'It took a while to choose which chin to put on the stand'
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Genius. get the joke there?
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(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
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16 Jan 2003, 12:25
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#6
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Davro?
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16 Jan 2003, 12:26
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#7
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Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
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Big head?
FIND THE LINK FIND THE LINK
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(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
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16 Jan 2003, 12:27
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#8
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Hmm.
I'm failing to see what the hell you're on about.
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16 Jan 2003, 12:29
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#9
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Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
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Davro first name.
Sluming size of head.
Sluming first name = Davro first name
I thought you did Alevel maths
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(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
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16 Jan 2003, 12:30
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#10
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Oh.
I assume your 'get the joke there' comment was derrogatory then.
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16 Jan 2003, 12:31
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#11
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Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
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Oh dear.
THE SMALL ONE DOESNT GET EET.
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(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
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16 Jan 2003, 12:32
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#12
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Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
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NOW NAME THE FILM
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(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
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16 Jan 2003, 12:33
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#13
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Quote:
Originally posted by deerbarn
NOW NAME THE FILM
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No.
Is this National Obscure Link Day?
TELL ME ALREADY, I'VE GOT A LECTURE TO LEAVE FOR IN 10 MINUTES
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16 Jan 2003, 12:34
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#14
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Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
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**** YOU. YOU UNDERSIZED **** LICKING COW CRADLING **** WIPER FRoM THE DARK SIDE OF **********
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(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
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16 Jan 2003, 12:35
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#15
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Quote:
Originally posted by deerbarn
**** YOU. YOU UNDERSIZED **** LICKING COW CRADLING **** WIPER FRoM THE DARK SIDE OF **********
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There is no film of that title in the database.
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16 Jan 2003, 12:36
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#16
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Banned
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: autogenic misery
Posts: 872
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"Prescott gets the weekly brainwash from Labour"
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16 Jan 2003, 12:38
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#17
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Last Of The Soul Reaver
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: London (middlesex) Wicked Place!
Posts: 333
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"cosmetic surgery: The Failures
__________________
Fear the Bunny
You're just jealous coz the voices are talking to me!
Rimmer: Step Up To Red Alet!
Kryten: Are You Sure Sir, It Does Mean Changing The Bulb!
Death to the deamoness Allegra Gellar!
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16 Jan 2003, 12:41
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#18
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Quote:
Originally posted by deerbarn
NOW NAME THE FILM
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Nik says:
AUSTIN ****ING POWERS ****ING 3
What the ****? Tenuous links ahoy.
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16 Jan 2003, 12:45
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#19
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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I'm noticing a lack of Kura related input on this.
Where's your captions, eh?
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16 Jan 2003, 13:24
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#20
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Shai Halud
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Sunny Leeds \o/
Posts: 2,127
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Welding that final nipple onto the Sucubot made John feel more tingly than he had ever felt in his life.
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16 Jan 2003, 14:15
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#21
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Dances With Sheep
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: WALES
Posts: 147
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'Hanibal 3: The Return, looks set to be a low budget affair'
' John prescott was said to be "dissapointed" at the in-ability of the opticians to "Fire all torpedos" '
' Tony Blair re-instates the practice of Public Stonings '
' John prescott goes to desperate measures to be best in the office at the Magic-Eye pictures '
__________________
My spirit is too weak - mortality
Weighs heavily on me like unwilling sleep,
And each imagined pinnacle and steep
Of godlike hardship tells me I must die
Like a sick eagle looking at the sky.
---
Zak
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16 Jan 2003, 14:17
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#22
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Cultured
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ESS The Darker The Night The Brighter The Star
Posts: 637
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Scan complete: no life-signs detected.
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16 Jan 2003, 14:23
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#23
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Launch of new surveillance system for Hull.
Big fatty is watching you.
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16 Jan 2003, 14:31
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#24
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'New retina security system launched for House of Commons pantry.'
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16 Jan 2003, 14:34
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#25
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Cyborg overhall for ailing Prescott - excess of pies blamed.'
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16 Jan 2003, 14:37
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#26
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Throwing Shapes
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 797
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"Relax Mr Prescott, everything will be fine. Although admittedly your the first person to ask for a Cranial Liposuction."
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Time is an Illusion, Lunchtime doubly so.
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16 Jan 2003, 14:39
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#27
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Prescott dons hi-tech battle gear to tackle firemen personally.'
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16 Jan 2003, 14:43
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#28
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Guest
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"Penis-launch in 5, 4, 3.."
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16 Jan 2003, 14:49
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#29
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Prescott to star in next Star Wars movie - Stormtrooper outfit being fitted as we speak.'
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16 Jan 2003, 14:55
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#30
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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'cranial liposuction' will have me laughing for weeks. utter pld.
'The aliens were dismayed to find no evolved life on the surface.'
'Specialist fitting was required for Mr. Prescott's riot gear.'
'The opticians took special pains not to use reflective glass'*
*spot teh pun!
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Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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16 Jan 2003, 14:55
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#31
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Prescott denies being transfixed by big black hard things.'
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16 Jan 2003, 14:56
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#32
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Precott's fascination with cameras always ruined the group photograph of Cabinet.'
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16 Jan 2003, 15:01
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#33
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Operator for new public service cybernetic interface revealed.'
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16 Jan 2003, 15:02
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#34
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Huntingdon Life Sciences find new test subject. "He doesn't feel a thing", say scientists.'
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16 Jan 2003, 15:05
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#35
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Prescott denies new laws are a "Pervert's Charter".'
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16 Jan 2003, 15:18
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#36
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Dances With Sheep
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: WALES
Posts: 147
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' The Raelian Movement abandon their CLONAID Cloning Machine after initial experiments go hideously wrong '
__________________
My spirit is too weak - mortality
Weighs heavily on me like unwilling sleep,
And each imagined pinnacle and steep
Of godlike hardship tells me I must die
Like a sick eagle looking at the sky.
---
Zak
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16 Jan 2003, 16:17
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#37
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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"So tell me, Mr Prescott, how many pies have you eaten in your life?"
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16 Jan 2003, 16:23
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#38
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Prescott takes first fitting for force-feeding machine.
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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16 Jan 2003, 16:27
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#39
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Throwing Shapes
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 797
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New Diplomats signed up for Battlestar Galactica Delegation fleet. Peace process with Zylons expected to fail.
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Time is an Illusion, Lunchtime doubly so.
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16 Jan 2003, 17:09
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#40
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share the <3
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 2,709
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'minister denies porn made him blind'
__________________
Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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16 Jan 2003, 17:16
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#41
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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"Prescott denies the 'Red October' incident ever happened..."
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16 Jan 2003, 17:47
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#42
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 618
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HAL made sure prescott understood.
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i am banned cos i am a complete and utterl moron. i wish i wash litke hajmyjimmm cos hes gthe greatest person in te the rowlrd.
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16 Jan 2003, 18:32
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#43
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'John was having trouble with his 'Queen Amidala' fancy dress costume.'
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16 Jan 2003, 19:01
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#44
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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'Prescott decides that he will never again incur the wrath of the party after only the first 3 minutes of the five-hour director's cut version of "Dungeons and Dragons"'
'The procedure is nothing less than a miracle for the eye itself, but the effect it has on the rest of the face is frightening to behold'
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16 Jan 2003, 20:04
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#45
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Prescott's idea of a blinking competiton with the robot was ill-concieved.'
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16 Jan 2003, 20:11
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#46
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Cute and cuddly
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 1,891
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"John Prescott gets his eyes tested"
__________________
"You're a ****ing ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood."
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16 Jan 2003, 20:13
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#47
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'The face that sank a thousand ships.'
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16 Jan 2003, 20:17
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#48
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Prescott's new ocular laser implants meant he could reduce eggs to dust at fifty yards.'
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16 Jan 2003, 20:29
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#49
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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'Allegations that the Prescott face mold would be used to mass-produce halloween masks was strenuously denied.'
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16 Jan 2003, 20:30
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#50
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bloomers III
"John Prescott gets his eyes tested"
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I could keep posting here all night. (*Wink*)
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All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:07.
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