Love advice :/

[cheekybru]

Cant belive im doing thos on GD, But i need to know im not being stupidly bitter for no reason.

Situation before last Thursday -

Been with my Gf for 15 months, loving her to peaces, had a couple of breakups but allways got back together, everything seems fine.

Last Thursday -

Am with my gf, in her room, She goes downstairs for some reason or another, and she gets a txt, I read it as shes recently had a bit of a problem with me reading her txts and i couldnt help myself (Yeah i know, dickish of me) But the txt is something along the lines of "Baby i miss you so much, i love you to bits" or something like that, Looking through her phone I find 2 more, one along simmiler lines, and one dirty one.

Querying her about this she says that she never replies in dirty or lovey ways, she just treats him as a friend, and he goes to far, I ask why she dosnt tell him to F off, and she says "I dont wanna loose him as a friend" I ask who he is and she says "Some guy from london (Were in shropshire)" and i ask how they met "in a chatroom"

So i ask her to txt him in front of me and tell him to stop txting her stuff like that as she has a bf etc, She refuses saying "Dont you trust me?!?!?!" and "I dont wanna waste my time i just wanna spend it with you" I reply with "Yes i do trust you i dont trust him" and "Well your not gonna spend time with me till uve sent the txt cos ill be thinking about it constintly"

We argue, and i ask her "Well im walking out of this house right now if you dont send the txt" she says "So your gonna dump me?" i say "No i just need time to think" she says "Do what you want" so i walk out

That night she txts me that shes really sorry that shes a bad gf, and shes sent the txt, i reply saying "Youve really hurt me by just causing all this" and say i need time to think.

Saterday - Two days later she has txted me both days saying the usual wants me to come over etc, then she texts saying "You havnt said you love me in three days" i txt back "I love you" and we leave it for the night.

Sunday - I ring her to see if i can go see her, to find out shes at her dads gf's house and i cant see her, fair play i think, and we are acting kinda normal, that night we chat on msn and i say ive baught her a present etc but that night my car has a fault, so i txt her saying "Seeing you has been put on hold cos my car has gone wrong. x"

Monday - I get a txt out of the blue saying "I cant wait any longer, forget coming to see me if you still dont know if you love me im not interested, bye"

And now shes acting like it was me that finished it but shes acting like a friend etc,

Am i wrong to feel extreemly bitter when i talk to her?

[MrL_JaKiri]

No. It's her fault for valuing the person she's never met from the internet (oh sweet irony) over you.

[acropolis]

so that's why she finally agreed to sleep with me

ps: i treat snooping the way our courts do, if you find stuff you don't like while looking where you shouldn't be looking, you have no right to be mad.

[cheekybru]

Im getting over my bitterness by keeping her on block, and occasionly unblocking her and shouting random reasons why she should feel crap then blocking her again.

[Bloomers III]

dump her and become a queer, once you've had (arse)crack you'll never go back

[cheekybru]

Originally Posted by Bloomers III

dump her and become a queer, once you've had (arse)crack you'll never go back

Did you not read the "She finished with me" bit? :S

[acropolis]

yeah.

and i almost never take the girl's side, because they are almost always entirely wrong, but yours is completely right. except for dating you.

(mabbe u r well hung LOL)

[Bloomers III]

Originally Posted by cheekybru

Did you not read the "She finished with me" bit? :S

obviously not, i just thought this would be a good time for a gay joke :Gandalf:

[cheekybru]

Originally Posted by acropolis

yeah.

and i almost never take the girl's side, because they are almost always entirely wrong, but yours is completely right. except for dating you.

(mabbe u r well hung LOL)

Wanna give me reasons why shes right or you just going for the "lol lets post bs" factor?

[meglamaniac]

Originally Posted by cheekybru

"Yes i do trust you i dont trust him"

Ooops!
Never EVER say this!

Most women will take this to mean exactly the same as "I don't trust you", which really it does. If you were in a trustworthy relationship it wouldn't matter what anyone else tried to get up to (short of rape) because she'd refuse.
One of my best friends at uni has spent most of last year (our first year there) trying to coach her boyfriend away from being posessive, and that was the very excuse he used all the time.

[acropolis]

Originally Posted by cheekybru

Wanna give me reasons why shes right or you just going for the "lol lets post bs" factor?

1. she's allowed to have any friends she wants
2. what her friends txt her isn't her fault
3. you shouldn't have looked at her phone
4. you aren't her boss, you can't tell her what to do
5. she apologized anyway

for starters.

6. and when you can't see her cause your car broke down, you really should do more than text her.

[cheekybru]

Originally Posted by meglamaniac

Ooops!
Never EVER say this!

Most women will take this to mean exactly the same as "I don't trust you", which really it does. If you were in a trustworthy relationship it wouldn't matter what anyone else tried to get up to (short of rape) because she'd refuse.
One of my best friends at uni has spent most of last year (our first year there) trying to coach her boyfriend away from being posessive, and that was the very excuse he used all the time.

So what should I have done? And i mean that seriously, If i cant change the past better make myself better for the future

And please dont say "Nothing" because it would of just stayed on my mind bugging me

[cheekybru]

1. she's allowed to have any friends she wants
2. what her friends txt her isn't her fault
3. you shouldn't have looked at her phone
4. you aren't her boss, you can't tell her what to do
5. she apologized anyway

1) I never said ANYTHING to choose her friends or say she couldnt be friends with the guy
2) But why couldnt she send one simple txt to save the feelings of someone she supposadly loved?
3) accepted
4) I asked her to do it, and what huirt me was that she was willing to not do it even tho she knew it would hurt me
5) i accepted her appology and made it clear i wanted to sort things out, then she dumped me

[meglamaniac]

Originally Posted by cheekybru

So what should I have done? And i mean that seriously, If i cant change the past better make myself better for the future

And please dont say "Nothing" because it would of just stayed on my mind bugging me

Well, the choices would have been:
a) lie through your teeth and tell her everything is fine
b) tell her the truth - that the behaviour of this friend is upsetting you, and is at the very least making you jealous (which naturally leads to trust problems)

Incidentally, had she ever met they guy?

[LHC]

I bet it hurt her that you blew it out of proportion.

[cheekybru]

Originally Posted by meglamaniac

Well, the choices would have been:
a) lie through your teeth and tell her everything is fine
b) tell her the truth - that the behaviour of this friend is upsetting you, and is at the very least making you jealous (which naturally leads to trust problems)

Incidentally, had she ever met they guy?

A) woulda left me thinking all the time whether shes txting him and vise versa
b) thats kinda what i did, but your way woulda been better yeah

She has told me that she hasnt, and shes not really the kinda girl to get a train down to london just for a lad

[JC]

Mate you 2 break up more times per week than i change my socks. I think its about time you stopped putting yourself through this.

[cheekybru]

Originally Posted by LHC

I bet it hurt her that you blew it out of proportion.

How did i blow it out of proportion, this dirty txt he sent her was pretty dam dirty

[acropolis]

My girlfriend knows if she won't do anal my feelings will be hurt, but if I force her too, then I'm the rapist!! double-standard ahoy.

j/k. i understand where you are coming from, but the whole issue boils down to whether or not she should have txted that boy what you told her to say.

in my opinion, she shouldn't have, simply because you were making her choose between your relationship and her freedom. and that's how abusive relationships start, and i think all girls should get in the habit of saying no. i know it's annoying as hell. and not even trying to imply you'd be abusive.

[cheekybru]

Originally Posted by JC

Mate you 2 break up more times per week than i change my socks. I think its about time you stopped putting yourself through this.

Yeah i know i know i gotta, and im 99% sure this will be the last one, cos im really hating her right now, But, i just need to know that i have a reason to feel bitter

[cheekybru]

Originally Posted by acropolis

My girlfriend knows if she won't do anal my feelings will be hurt, but if I force her too, then I'm the rapist!! double-standard ahoy.

j/k. i understand where you are coming from, but the whole issue boils down to whether or not she should have txted that boy what you told her to say.

in my opinion, she shouldn't have, simply because you were making her choose between your relationship and her freedom. and that's how abusive relationships start, and i think all girls should get in the habit of saying no. i know it's annoying as hell. and not even trying to imply you'd be abusive.

Yeah i can see your point of view, but if you look at it from where i was, i got her choosing some lad from the internet over her bf of 15 months, and that hurt a lot

Anyway, im going for some food now, be back in 10

[acropolis]

Originally Posted by cheekybru

Yeah i can see your point of view, but if you look at it from where i was, i got her choosing some lad from the internet over her bf of 15 months, and that hurt a lot

that's not how i'd look at it though.

she wasn't choosing him over you, she was choosing herself over you. and of course that's still going to feel bad, but as i said it's generally the right choice if you want to have a healthy relationship.

properly, you should tell her how you feel about it, and let her do the right thing on her own. if she doesn't, then you've got a complaint.

[Vermillion]

You were doing fine until you insisted she ACT RIGHT NOW THIS INSTANT OR YOU LEAVE, which you then did. Tell her your problem, explain why it hurts your feelings, and then let her fix it herself.

I would apologise for delivering an ultimatum, explain how you never doubted that she loved you, and then calmy explain why you were hurt, even though you over-reacted.

An excellent tactic it to use the old "Imagine the situation is reversed, a girl you do not know that I met on a chat room is sending me sexy text messages, and I dont want to discourage them because it might 'damage the friendship'. How would you react to that?"

But you did over-react, and you painted her into an impossible corner, possibly because you are young and stupid. Go make up.

[W]

Originally Posted by acropolis

that's not how i'd look at it though.

she wasn't choosing him over you, she was choosing herself over you. and of course that's still going to feel bad, but as i said it's generally the right choice if you want to have a healthy relationship.

properly, you should tell her how you feel about it, and let her do the right thing on her own. if she doesn't, then you've got a complaint.

I think this is nonsense as well. He has a complaint? Sure, he might have a reason to think they won't fit together, but how it's her fault is beyond me.

[JammyJim]

if it was meant to be it was meant to be

move on dude

[cheekybru]

Well thx for the differnt points of view, im not gonna go make up with her cos as JC says, Weve done this b4, and its time to move on, But maybe ill feel a little less bitter now

[Dace]

Slit your wrists* and end the pain.














*slit hers first

[acropolis]

Originally Posted by cheekybru

Well thx for the differnt points of view, im not gonna go make up with her cos as JC says, Weve done this b4, and its time to move on, But maybe ill feel a little less bitter now

now that you've broken up with her it's time to post nude pix online and tell us how she is in bed

[edit]nude pix of her ta[/edit]

[cheekybru]

when i was going out with her she said i could take pix but i diddnt have a cam on me, and i diddnt think it was THAT importent cos i could see it all anyways,

CURSE MY SHORT SIGHTEDNESS

PS

Just found an email from her from today, made me feel a bit bad about shouting random bad things at her on msn earlier

watching LOTR2 in class and made me think of u so ellooooo!!!!!

Ta ra xx Bex xx




*Gurlie*

My bad :/

[JammyJim]

do you look like sam?

or maybe the little orc like fellow. gimley?(sp)

ooo no...of course......smeegal
you ugly bastard.
no wonder she left. :-((((((

[Dead_Meat]

You do realise that in ten years time you'll all be looking back at these times and thinking 'fk me I was a dimwitted shite back in those days' and laughing about it.

TELLING YOUR THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLFRIEND YOU'LL LOVE THEM FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME*

































*Unless you're Dace, of course. **






















**Actually, this whole post was just so I could put the *Unless you're Dace bit. Sorry about that***


























***Unless you're Dace, of course.

[Dace]

I hate you DM like i hate my father.

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Dace

I hate you DM like i hate my father.

You hate your dad a fair bit don't you?

[Dante Hicks]

You should probably learn to relax and not worry what txt msgs your girlfriend is getting. If you felt kind sickened by the msgs of the phone, just don't read them in future.

Think about it, you probably jeapordised your relationship with someone you love because of some person she was speaking to on MSN. That's kind of ridiculous.

[cheekybru]

Its just the way were thinking differnt, id say she jepordised it by not sending a simple txt to a guy she only considers a friend, telling him she only wants to be friends, If a girl was sending txts like that to me and she found them, she would go absaloutly sick b4 i even explaind :/

[Dante Hicks]

Just because she'd act irrationally doesn't really justify your demands. However, Vermillion is right - you can just appeal to a sense of consistency. Ask how she'd feel in the same situation, etc.

She probably didn't care about the other guy one jot until YOU made it an issue. It's like with anything. If someone comes up to me and asks (nicely) for a quid or whatever, I'll generally give it if I have it. If someone demands it, they've instantly caused a confrontation and I generally wouldn't give it.

[Dead_Meat]

It's a good thing no-one on GD knows your phone number, as you'd be bombarded with

'i luv ur bum, it feels so gud when i put my cok in it'

messages,from people you (might) like, then if your so-called gf saw the messages, would you do what she asked and text someone you think is a friend on here, telling them you don't want to talk to them again, would you?

P.S. Dace, stop sending me msgs like that. I like you, you're a good laugh, but I don't like you like that. Sorry.*

































* In all honesty, Dace isn't sending me msgs saying ''i luv ur bum, it feels so gud when i put my cok in it', this entire post was just so I could put the end-piece about Dace in. Sorry.**






























** His messages are normally more the

'id luv your bum, it wud feel so gud when i put my cok in it, but u r 2 old'

type. My mistake.***



























*** HI DACE !

[Nodrog]

Do you 2 normally play stupid power games, or is this a one-off?

[cheekybru]

Dead_Meat makes me laugh

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Dead_Meat

It's a good thing no-one on GD knows your phone number, as you'd be bombarded with

That reminds me, must give Kura my new number of i won't get any more of those texts

[I'm Not Grimble]

ITT Old people are funny

[meglamaniac]

Originally Posted by I'm Not Grimble

ITT Old people are funny

Well, I wouldn't go THAT far. I mean lets not get carried away here...