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Unread 1 Sep 2006, 14:57   #1
Tomkat
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Chat-Up Lines

Tucker Max is my hero.

I don't care if his stories are true or not (I think they are, but I know there's some naysayers round here).

What I love the most are the terrible yet hilarious lines he uses on girls, yet then manages to still hook up with them.

When I go out now and talk to girls, I don't like using classic chatup lines/icebreakers and talking normally. I find it dull.

If you talk normally to a girl and don't get anywhere, all you get is a crash-and-burn.
If you talk and use some appalling lines and then don't get anywhere, then the next day you have a funny which is immortalised.

In many ways I'd prefer to have a night out with some hilarious stories of conversations than to hook up with a girl who I never see again.

Does anyone else do this?

Here are some of the awful lines I've used recently:



Chat-Up Line #1
This was in Newquay. To stay in the campsite we had to have this pink and blue plastic wristband (like those LIVESTRONG ones). I also had another wristband on that my army officer friend had given me, as he'd just graduated from Sandhurst and they were from the graduation party a few days before. It said something like "Live to Serve" on.

So I was in this club on the campsite. It was dire. Full of 16-17 year olds who couldn't get into the clubs in town.

There were only about 20 girls in the club. Most of them looked 12 or were ugly as sin. Or both!

There was one attractive girl, being leered at by about 10 pikeys at any one time during the night.

She left the dancefloor.

I pursued. Leering at girls doesn't win the prize!

I tapped her on the back and she turned around.

Shit.

I'd plucked up the courage to talk to her but I didn't have anything to say to her.

Based on my previous knowledge of her (she's hot) and what I think she'd like to hear (she's hot) I came up with a line.

Tom: "Hey, I've been here for about 2 hours and I've seen LOTS of girls here"
Girl: "ok..."
Tom: "And I have to say without doubt that you are the hottest one here "
Girl: "i have a boyfriend"
Tom: "I don't care! I just like talking to hot girls! It makes me look cool!"
Girl: "ok....."
Tom: "you're 16, aren't you?"
Girl: "I am NOT! Look i have a wristband like yours! It shows i'm 18!"
Tom: "No it really doesn't. It means you're staying at this campsite"
Girl: "You're wrong. What's that wristband?"

Now here I could tell this little conversation was going downhill. She also had a boyfriend (and had decided to tell me early on), so scoring potential was pretty much zero. I had to salvage something from this.

Tom: "Oh it means I'm an officer in the army - we just had a big army ball"
Girl: "Really? Have you been abroad?"
Tom: "Yeah I just finished a big stint in Iraq"
Girl: "Wow"
Tom: "Yeah, I'm a sniper. That's why my hair is really short. So the enemy can't see me"
Girl: "Was it tough?"
Tom: "I don't like to talk about it. We lost a lot of good men out there. *"

I then pretended to wipe some tears from my eyes.

Apparently this wasn't cool. She excused herself and went to the toilet.

I never saw her again!



Chat-Up Line #2
Another night in Newquay I was just feeling abusive. My friend Mark was chatting to a couple of Welsh girls. It was clear he wanted to go one-on-one with Girl1 so he asked me over to talk to the other one.

I apparently put my hand up in between Mark and Girl1's animated chat.

Tom: "I have to interrupt. Girl1, you look so much like that person from Big Brother... shit what's her name?"
Mark: "Imogen?"
Tom: "Yeah! Imogen! You look just like her"
Girl1: " oh wow thanks! you really think so?"
Tom: "No wait... not Imogen. What's the name of that ugly transvestite?"
Girl1: "Hey Mark? Your friend is a twat"
Mark: "No! Wait! Oh... "

I'm such a cockblocker



Chat-Up Line #3
On that same night I saw a girl I really really was attracted to. I had to have her. I pulled out all the stops and went into full-compliment mode. I figured if I charmed her and all her friends then maybe she'd sleep with me. At the time it made sense.

Tom: "Hey wow I just thought I'd say I think your hair is amazing (it was). It's a really cool style"
Girl: " thanks!"

Her friends then looked expectantly at me, almost asking me for compliments themselves. I had to think fast.

Tom: "Oh and your dress is cool too, and yeah - your shoes are awesome. Actually they ARE awesome."
Girls: " thanks"
Tom: "I probably sound a bit homosexual making this comments - sorry - I have two sisters so I notice this kind of thing. It's probably quite weird. Also I want to have sex with you"
Girl: "What?"
Tom: "Nothing"

I was stalling. The fourth girl had NO redeeming features about her. Her best quality was that she "wasn't too fat". I was pretty drunk and I just couldn't find one thing to say to her to be nice.

Tom: "I... er.... your hair looks... blonde"
Girl: "what?"
Tom: "Blonde - good blonde!"
Girl: "errr ok - come on xxxx (i cant remember the girl's name), let's go"
Tom: "NO! No... Er! Look ok, I don't fancy you. But I'd still sleep with you!"
Girl: "Twat. Goodbye"

Meanwhile my friends were all laughing at me and my valiant attempts to go one-on-four with a not-very-attractive-group-of-girls.

MAN DOWN MAN DOWN





ChipZ^ can vouch for those god-awful lines I used. In many ways I'm glad I used them and crashed-and-burned though, than hooked up with some semi-attractive girls. Who wants to hear a story about how you got your end away, anyway?!

I know pig uses lines also - does anyone else? Stuff like "oh you must have had a father as a thief because you're from liverpool oh wait i mean he stole your eyes from the heavens" do NOT count





* I couldn't remember where I'd heard this "we lost a lot of good men" line - I realised a week later it was from Wedding Crashers
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Unread 1 Sep 2006, 15:23   #2
Another Slayer
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

hmm i was just thinking the good old

"your dad must be a terrorist, because your the bomb"

could be replaced with, "your dad must be a terrorist, because you look like a
muslim"
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Unread 1 Sep 2006, 15:44   #3
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

You rampaging stud you.

I laughed in the middle of class due to chat line #2... thanks for that!
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Unread 1 Sep 2006, 15:51   #4
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Me and a couple of mates were in a club in sheffield and a really attractive girl came up to me, pointed at my Lightyear T-shirt and said
"Wow, Lightyear, They're really cool"
She had a pretty attractive friend as well and my mates were getting quite interested, even though it seemed the nicer one was interested in me (she was already giving off flirty body language)
Anyway I asked her about how she knew lightyear and she said she was from Derby...
So, obviously, I asked her if she enjoyed sex with sheep... She scowled but when I explained I was from Nottingham she seemed to enjoy a bit of banter.

So after a bit of dancing I asked her which uni she went to... "Sheffield Hallam" she replied... I bit my tongue.

"oh so what do you study?"
"English" (or something like that - it was a waster degree, it might have been business studies actually)
"Ahh so you're an arts student then?"
"yeh why?"
"So you're a sheep shagging, art student waster who goes to Hallam?"

At this point I got a massive "**** off", a scowl and she wouldn't talk to us for the rest of the night...

It was fun though
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Unread 1 Sep 2006, 18:09   #5
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

my optimum chat up line which i have been using since i was about 16 is...

you drop your knickers, i'll drop my standards.

it doesnt usually go down well but it usually comes out with some pretty amusing replies.
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Unread 1 Sep 2006, 19:30   #6
Tomkat
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Tom: "Shit I know you from somewhere... I'm sure I recognise you"
Girl: "Yeah... right"
Tom: "Did you do Business?"
Girl: "No"
Tom: "Were you in RAG?"
Girl: "No"
Tom: "Do you work for the Guild?"
Girl: "No"
Tom: "Maybe we've pulled one another!"
Girl: "Haha... yeah sure."
Tom: "You know there's only one way to be sure. We'll have to pull again. Then I'll know!"
Girl: "Nice try! Bye!"
Tom: ""
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Unread 1 Sep 2006, 19:34   #7
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
excellent.
you clearly get far too much sex if you're willing to ditch potential sex for comedy though /o\
It's actually the "Dace Logic" (that isn't an insult, I'm sure he'll agree here).

In many ways it's better to crash-and-burn while using a terrible line or for a stupid (yet funny) reason as then it makes you look like less of a loser.

In a lot of ways I probably do it subconsciously, as I can then make the excuse that "I didn't pull because I was too busy being silly".
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Unread 1 Sep 2006, 21:08   #8
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Tucker Max is my hero.
Just had a look at his website. Some of the stuff that happens to him is hilarious
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Unread 2 Sep 2006, 19:44   #9
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

I'd been drinking for 7 hours. I just want to make that perfectly clear before i say anything else.

So i'm in The Garage, a terrible terrible club, with a mate and his wife. They've gone outside to smoke so i'm sitting at our table on my own. On my own till a couple of pikey looking ****s come over and sit on the side of it opposite to me. I'm wasted also there's plenty of space left for me , my mate and his wife so i say nothing. Then this girl comes over and asks if anybody is sitting here pointing at the bench on which im sitting. I shrug and move over to allow her to sit down. She starts talking to me. I've been drinking for 7 hours remember that. So anyways she's chatting away. Blah, blah, blah. At the moment my litmus test for women is "Can they talk about cartoons?". If they can shoot the shit about cartoons then they're generally cool so i introduce it into the conversation. The conversation went something like this:

<Me> "So what was your favourite cartoon as a kid?"
<Her> "Ohhh i dunno. What was your favourite?"
<Me> "Hmmm. I'm not sure but maybe Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors."
<Her> "Never heard of it."
<Me> "Well it's kinda too loud in here to explain about it properly."
<Her> "When was it on?"
<Me> "Ohhhh, a while ago."
<Her> "Wait how old are you?"

I should have lied here. The Garage has a very young (student) crowd. Sadly i'd been DRINKING FOR 7 HOURS and didn't really realise the girl was hitting on me.

<Me> "25"

The girl just gets up and walks away.

Way to go me.
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Unread 2 Sep 2006, 19:56   #10
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

I was at a not-very-close-friend's birthday do at a pub in Ed just after the start of third year or there abouts. She was well-connected, being a member of loads of societies and there was quite the crowd of people. Threatre-types, mostly. All I wanted to do was pop in, say "Happy Birthday!" and go meet my mates down the road but the hoardes or people impeded my progress.

I settle down with a pint and realise that short of kicking my way through the masses there's no way on Earth I'm getting in to do my bit, so decide to get another drink after the first seemingly evaporates, then another, then a fourth. On the fifth I'd been there a good hour now so decided that instead of looking like a loser, I'd introduce myself to some new people to kill some time while the hilarity continued around my birthday girl.

I spy a group in the middle of the room, disconnected, just three people, two boys and a girl. "Perfect!" I think as I saunter over, wedging myself inbetween the two lads and announce

"Hi, you guys don't know me but my name's Paul! "
Editor's note: the smiley face conveys the friendly grin on my face at the time

"Hi, I'm Alexa!" declares the girl of the group, who I had entirely ignored for my opening conversational salvo, before literally running to the ladies grabbing one of her mates on the way.

"**** man that was awesome, I've never seen anyone crash and burn that fast" was the simultaneous consensus opinion reached by the two remaining bodies.

I'd entirely not gone to hit on the girl, I was in fact more interested just in talking to anyone, so this came as something of an embarassing surprise that comes back to bite my ass every party I now go to as someone else thinks they're being a smartass and does the same to me.

In fact somehow, by the time I'd reached the actual birthday girl, even she'd heard about it but through a process of Chinese whispers I'd schlid (that's a sleazy-slide) up to the girl and just straight-up hit on her, slurring and with a drunken smirk on my face, and spent the remainder of the evening getting evil-eyes off everyone involved.

**** theatre types.

Edit: Yes I was more interested in the boys lolwhatever
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Unread 2 Sep 2006, 21:05   #11
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

I've never been good at shitchats

I usually only ask something like
"Hey, how old are you?"
Which basicly means the same thing as
'I don't wanna know your name but can i bum you?'

And it works!

I go to clubs tho, not pubs
people usually don't bother making long convs their

Edit: I see Dace misinterpreted the How old are you? thingy
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Last edited by Alessio; 2 Sep 2006 at 21:18.
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Unread 2 Sep 2006, 21:23   #12
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Dace was hoping she'd reply "Mona the Vampire" or "Static Shock" to confirm she still watched cartoons
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Unread 2 Sep 2006, 21:24   #13
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
<Me> "Hmmm. I'm not sure but maybe Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors."
I'm 21. I remember it from when I was like 6, it was on at around 6.30 and I used to get up early and watch it.
Was it on later than that before then?
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Unread 3 Sep 2006, 17:04   #14
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

I met Gail Porter during the Fringe and managed during a polite conversation with her to slip in 'I really like your bandana, very summery' without really thinking. She took it in good humour, I think.

During a random night at the union myself and my flatmate got to talking about porn and how, whilst most people would claim otherwise, everyone's looked at some and probably enjoyed it. Over comes a girl, friend of someone else on the table, who sits and listens but doesn't really join in.

"Bollocks," I think, "I'll bring her into the conversation" and unleash

"Hi, sorry I don't know your name, are you a friend of Christian's?"
"Yeah hi I'm Pamela*"

Obligatory Introductions

"So Pamela, we were just talking about porn, do you enjoy it?"

At this stage my flatmate's aghast that I've dragged this poor innocent girl into the fray but dammit I persevere with a smile and a gaze

"I don't know much about pictures and things but I like stories"
"Hey we were just talking about that, what kind?"
Score! The chick's kinky

"Well, I actually write some stuff sometimes"
Why is my flatmate knowingly grinning at me?

"Really? What kind of stuff?"
"Slash, mostly"
Shit, ok, it may be recoverable

"What's your favourite show then?"
"Oh mine are mostly Harry Potter based"
DANGER WILL ROBINSON, ABORT, ABORT

My flatmate's grin is now wide enough to be poking the guy next to him in the eye. The girl bursts out laughing and I realise I've just been played having missed every possible warning sign. Like a girl talking to me in the first place =(

* **** only knows what her actual name was, Pamela sounded sufficiently demure.


As an aside, retellings of the event to new friends lead to our attempt at a collective porn novel (8 in fact) with everyone writing a chapter then passing it to the next person to be continued. It's funny how an idea like that bites the dust as soon as everyone sobers up =( Mine was brilliant.
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Unread 3 Sep 2006, 17:18   #15
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

I had to look up what slash meant.
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Unread 3 Sep 2006, 20:42   #16
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nantoz
I've spent quite some time latey being abusive to strangers out on the town lately. Mostly along with one of my mates, who just moved here. Not very much sex lately, but much hilarty.

Me: Hot girl overe there. Alteast I think so, terribe style though.
Mate: Yeah. a bit. I'll give you a pint if you tell her she would be hot if she lost the emo-outfit.
Me: Sure.

...I saunter over. Give her a big smile, and says:
Damn, you would be so hot without your shitty emo-style.
Then I leave.
I get my pint, and keep taking with the people I'm with.
After about 5 minutes the emo-girl comes over.

Emo-girl: What did you mean by what you said? What is emo?
Mate: It's a bunch of fools with sily clothing, horrible hair and shitty taste in music.
Me: It's a community of suicide-wankers
Mate: They cry a lot and cut their wrists.
Me: they shoud all f*ck off and die.

Emo-girl doesn't manage to say anything, so she just turns around and waks away.
After another 5 minutes I notice my mate has a strange look on his face, and I feel something is going on. Then emo-girl upturns two pints over my head....
I laughed my head off, dried myself off, and then told emo-girl I didn't think I was worth that kind of money.
Then we spent about 20 minutes hitting on emo-girls friends, while she sat in a corner and sulked.



After Chelsea lost to Middlesborough my mate was in a terrible mood, so we went out for a couple of pints to cheer him up.
The pub we went to was pretty crowded, so we shared a table with 4 unknown girls.
It shoud be mentioned at this point that my mate shagged one of his flatmates, and that she has been hopelessly in love with him since that time.

Me to the 4 girls: Excuse me, girls.
Girls: yes?
Me: this is my mate, xxxx. A girl he lives with is realy keen on him. Right now her mother is staying over for the night. How much should I give him to go into the room, whip out his cock and smack the mother in the face with it.
Girl 1: ehm. £50? (that cracked me up. it came so spontaneously)
Girl 2 and 3 goes blank.
Girl 4: You guys are shitheads.
Me: what the hell do you mean? Do you think he should do it for free?
Girl 4: no, no. But that is a shitty thing to do to that girl who ikes him.
Me: whatever. I'm just trying to find out how much money I should give him. Everything can be bought. You would shagg Maggie Tatcher for £1billion, wouldn't you?
Girl 4: The hell I would. Money isn't everything.
Mate: that is correct, but still it means a lot today. you would shag her. don't bloody lie.

{We taked about this subject for a few minutes, and got more and more abusive towards the girls., then finaly they get up to leave,and my mate rips them to pieces]

Girl 4: You and your friend are pathetic!
Mate: It's better to be pathetic, than to be a bloody liar.
Girl: All you guys think about is sex. it's sad.
Mate: We weren't talking about sex. Simply cock smashed in face. Nothing sexual.
Girl: then why the hell have we been taking about sex for the ast few minutes.
Mate: Maybe because you are four f*ucking SLUTS!

The girls leave, and we crack up.
On a humorous sidenote, we cock-blocked 4 guys were desperately trying to hit on the girls before we sat down.
So it turns out nantoz is a terrible human being
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Unread 3 Sep 2006, 21:03   #17
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
So it turns out nantoz is a terrible human being
judge not lest yea be judged
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Unread 3 Sep 2006, 21:44   #18
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

i have no qualms with the fact i'm a horrendous entity
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Unread 3 Sep 2006, 21:51   #19
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

try not to glorify pissing in a bin
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Unread 3 Sep 2006, 21:52   #20
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Hey, anyone can do that - I did it once when half asleep and not really thinking.
In some ways it's better [for others] if you're slightly more negative about yourself than positive about yourself
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Unread 3 Sep 2006, 23:01   #21
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

I just remembered another I could add in here, from this thread!


Quote:
Originally Posted by TomKat
The Club
I remember seeing Ste waiting for me (what a nice chap).

Then seeing everyone - I think I gave them all hugs (GD doesn't need formalities like shaking hands!).

Then there's a little bit of a blur.

I remember most of the girls in there (of which there weren't that many) being a bit dubious, looks wise.

I asked some girl if I could dance with her later (god knows why). She said sure.

Now normally if I do this they either say yes and I never see them again, or give me a weird look and turn their backs on me (But then the jokes on them - little do they know I'm a bum person, and they've me a prime viewing spot on their derrier! WIN WIN).

Went for a drink and the girl came up to me and said something like "Am I going to get that dance then?"

I mumbled something, grinded with her very unromantically, and got a snog.

God I was so pissed - I'm just remembering stuff I did and said now.

I asked her if she "came here often" ( Dace ).

She said "no "

She asked if I "went there often" (it was quite the exciting conversation).

I said something along the lines of "No, I don't - I come from the Internet!"

She gave me a funny look and I said "It's near Ipswich"

What?! I'm not going to make real conversation with her.

Anyway, danced/chatted with everyone else (sorry guys, I'd mention what else happened with chatting to each other, but my memory is so hazy right now).
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Unread 4 Sep 2006, 00:35   #22
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

The "I'm from the Internet. It's near Ipswich" line is a classic and never fails to amuse me.
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Unread 8 Sep 2006, 18:31   #23
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

I may as well resurrect this thread with last weekends shenanikins in Cardiff.

I went out with a mate who lived in cardiff and his woman. We put his gf in a taxi at about 10 and headed off to a club (Dont let it be said we wernt gentlemen. We both ponied up 2 quid towards the fare).

We entered a club and it was all but deserted. After approaching the lovely lady behind the bar we were informed that a 'private party' thing was going on upstairs. So being the young skallywags out for a good time that we were we went upstairs to see if we could sneak in for free.


At this point I feel i should give some background.
We had been sitting at about 9 in a pub when all at once it was invaded by about 20 odd people wearing black 'almost but not quite' goth clothing. I sat wondering it they had been to a funeral....but then the women were in corsets so i doubted this very much.


As we approached the door to this upstairs bit there was noway past without paying. As we were contemplating leaving the two girls who had organised the event came out. Both were in corsets and 'omg its like being in moulin rouge!' clothing. One was rather hot and told us if we paid only 4 quid we could get in even though neither of us were dressed up in a suit or whatnot. I couldnt stop staring at her clevage so happily agreed.

Turns out we were in a burlesque night. The girls were all pretty 'hot ass' and wearing tight fitting corsets. It was a clevage lovers paradise.


So the night continues. We are standing around wearing tshirt and jeans looking totally out of place whilst all the guys in there were in suits and weird looking hats. (A guy who looked oddly like baron samedi was there too !!) We decided to just get totally and utterly hammered so the whole awkwardness of the proceedings would pass. Whilst we did this they put on various raunchy dances and this guy who juggled things on fire and knives. One of which he dropped and hit a girl which made me laugh

Mate and I both went to bar and ordered more double whatever and coke and sat down on some sofas. We met another two people who had got in for 4 quid so obviously I highfived both of them. :internetcool:

At this point of sheer fonz style coolness a girl plonks herself next to me and says 'Do you mind if I sit with you guys. My friend is talking to some guy and im really bored'. Shes dressed in lacey suspender stocking things and a low cut top but has not that much clevage to speak of. She is 'ok' looking but nothing special. We all talk for a bit and then I make a break for the bar with mate to try and lose her. She follows.

We get another drink and then whilst talking to her she asks 'So what do you guys do'
My friend says "oh im joining the RAF" (which is true). "James over there is ex army" (which is not).

She then does this 'omg impressive' face and sways slightly from side to side as her eyes roll. Shes clearly hammered but not so hammered she doesnt understand us. At this point my friend decides to ham it up considerably.

Mate : "yeah he fought in Bosnia a few years back. was in the TA's and got called up"
Her : "Really wow you are so brave" (looking at me)
Mate : "Yeah hes the bravest guy i know. He got shot twice in the shoulder as well. thats why he got shipped back."
Her : "Omg really?!.....you must be so brave."

At this point i remembered this thread....After reading tomkats story i watched the wedding crashers (you inspired me), and heard the line 'We lost a lot of good men'...

So here it comes

ME : "Yeah i dont really like to talk about it much. I saw things you arnt meant to see at that age.....we lost a lot of good men out there....I dont really want to talk about it. I still have nightmares."

At this point im not sure i can keep my compure any longer and neither can my mate BUT she give me this really sad look and says 'ill be right back hold on and dont go anywhere' and heads to the toilet.

Whilst shes there I ask him 'wtf'. But instead of just laughing it off we plan the rest of the conversation. I decide that im the proud owner of a St Georges cross so we concot a story around how i got it.
She returns and we begin telling the story.

Apparently my best friend out there......Temma Choji...someone who i went to school with who i sat next to in History lessons.....was a gurkha. He had his legs blown off by a grenade and was being shot at. I broke cover ran out under fire and hauled his ass back to safety.


Whilst this sounds easy to say whilst sober. You try telling someone this story pissed. Its next to impossible not to at least laugh. I even feigned a tear to try and hide the smile and looked away for a moment hehe


Anyway long story short (although not really)

She ends up damaging my gums and rates as my worst kiss ever. As soon as that happens I move away and end up talking to some other girl about how breasts fit in a corset whilst she lets me play around with hers to see how it all 'fits'.(score)

I was always very 'er' about this kind of event. After attending one I can honestly say that the girls are all pretty good looking and none of them were stuck up or unwilling to talk like in some clubs. Also I heartily recommend story telling. For our next outing I plan to be a secret agent astronaut millionaire and see how far we can push it before one of us gets slapped.
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Unread 8 Sep 2006, 19:26   #24
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

yeh i started doing pig's "it's my mates birthday today, do you girls want to dance with us" thing when I'm out and it's quite fun
my mate was pretty chuffed that all these girls were suddenly paying him attention when they were running away from him earlier.
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 01:02   #25
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Recently the only line I use is "hi, I'm here for the kansas city shuffle". The key point then is to invent an entirely outrageous story that nobody believes and at the end you do something both stupid and pointless.

It's a good game.
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 01:12   #26
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Somebody's been watching a little bit too much Lucky Number Slevin.
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 01:24   #27
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

My name is Goodkat. You can call me Mr. Goodkat.
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 02:10   #28
JammyJim
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

You two killed everything i loved.
**** you both.
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 03:16   #29
Demon Dave
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

I've just been reading some of those Tucker Max stories. The Austin Road Trip story is the funniest shit I've ever ****ing read!
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 11:20   #30
Tomkat
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
My name is Goodkat. You can call me Mr. Goodkat.
Hey thats my surname

TomKat Goodkat!

(my parents didn't like me much)
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 14:06   #31
Sharur
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

tomkat, don't you feel bad about talking to girls?

I mean, they might fall for you and then you'll hurt their feelings when they lose you from cancer..
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 14:56   #32
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

It's called "Sympathy Sex". It's a pretty valid method, though usually one that's used as a fallback when most other things go wrong.

In other news, JBG is back! Despite the fact that this has coincided with me disappearing to university, we're not the same person.
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 19:41   #33
Yahwe
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharur
tomkat, don't you feel bad about talking to girls?

I mean, they might fall for you and then you'll hurt their feelings when they lose you from cancer..
we did a risk assessment and fortunately there's more chance of them winning the lottery twice in successive weeks so we considered that adequate compensation (to be fair we considered half a dead worm adequate compensation ...)
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Unread 12 Sep 2006, 19:48   #34
JonnyBGood
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Re: Chat-Up Lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Hey thats my surname

TomKat Goodkat!

(my parents didn't like me much)
The start of a very long queue.
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