body disposal

[Qdeathstar]

i heard about some guy cut up the other guy, and then claimed self defence... :-/

[Leshy]

Honestly officer, he came at me with a knife, so I cut him up and packed him in plastic bags in self-defence!

[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

Yeah DANTE

I'm hurt

[at0mic.c0w]

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

NOBODY f*cks with the jesus.

an 8 year old girl dude...

[MrL_JaKiri]

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

I'm hurt

I knew biting could come in handy

[CrashTester]

1. 'Bleed' the victim in a bath with constant running water until all/most of the blood is gone

2. Chop up the flesh into small pieces and use as ingredients in pies/pasties, etc.

3. Boil all bones, use the water as part of gravy for pies etc just mentioned

4. Smash all bones up with a heavy hammer and dispose of small amounts of bone in the rubbish until all gone.

5. Dont eat the pies/pasties you made with the flesh, just throw them out in the rubbish (not at the same time as the bones are being thrown out) or take them out and dispose of them gradually in other peoples rubbish.

No one will really think to examine a discarded pie unless they have reason to now will they sift through your rubbish to examine pieces of bone provided there isnt a vast amount at the time.

[the_dastardley_chihuahua]

hack off the hands and feet, smash out the teeth with a hammer. dispose of these seperately(ideally in a hosptial incinerator like in shallow grave) and since they are quite small it shold be easily done. i always thought dumping the body at sea would be the best method of disposal, unlike burial it doesnt leave any evidence around. so i would weigh the body down with stones then take it 10 miles out and push it overboard.

[Madina]

cut into managable bits. put into somekind of bag. middle of night dig a hole in exisiting roadworks. obviously cover the hole up. then within a few days your body will be 6ft under and have a nice layer of tarmac over the top

[LHC]

eat it

[MrL_JaKiri]

Diseased?

Bioweapons eh?

[CrashTester]

Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue

None of these ways are elaborate

Why does it need to be elaborate? Killers such as Dahmer and Nielson didnt use elaborate schemes to get rid of the bodies, they just cut them up and kept them in their house (OK, and maybe ate a bit of them) and were only found out because they did it too many times which only then roused suspicion. If we are only talking about one body, keep it simple, something too elaborate is bound to have a loose end somewhere that leads right back to the killer.

[Deciduous]

Stealing some dead person's identity just after they died is just asking to get caught and imprisoned for something, even if you didnt kill the person in question. The first poster also said it doesnt matter how you came across the body, but if someone just happened to drop dead from a heart attack in your kitchen, then obviously you wouldn't have to arse about with disposing of it.

It seems there are two main 'genres' of body disposal, excluding doing nothing. Either obscuring the body from view (probably easier but a greater likelihood of getting caught if someone finds it) or obliterating the body entirely so as to leave as litte evidence as possible.
Someone already mentioned putting it in roadworks, so it would be hidden for you, I was going to say in a building site.
I would opt for the second one, assuming I had just killed someone intentionally. Wrap it in plastic and, if you have a big enough freezer, chill it (if only to give you a little extra time to prepare and make cutting it up easier/less messy). I can't think of anything as accessible to everyone as burning the body, although it has the downside that you might attract attention.
Drive to the middle of nowhere, cut out a rectangle of topsoil big enough for the body, then dig out another 20cm or so. Dump the body in, syphon some petrol from the car and set fire to it all. Better put in everything you're wearing as well, remember to bring some clean clothes. If everything is cool we shouldn't even have any bones left (best bring a couple of old tyres to get the fire going good). Put the topsoil back on (grass and all) and tread it in, you might have a little excess to scatter about.
Hopefully it should look like nothing ever happened. Burn/scrap the car as soon as possible.
If you happen to work for a place that uses air curtain burners (for disposing of diseased cattle and the like) you could reduce a body to nothing in 5 minutes.

I'm sure there's holes in that somewhere, I'll have another think.

[Scoot951]

You have to remember that keeping the body gone isn't enough, you also have to make sure that if you're investigated they won't find anything suspicious. Dropping them in the ocean would probably be the best way, but how many people here regularly rent boats? That would be a sure giveaway. Also would be with buying up large quantities of acid-making materials. Burial may be good for a few years, but they always seem to end up eventually (new owners buy property, real estate gets developed, etc.).

Here's what I would do:
Drain blood in bathtub.
Smash out teeth and slice off fingertips, flush down toilet (if paranoid, flush down a public toilet somewhere).
Cut up body, bag it well, and toss in trash. If you need it gone fast just drive around town and throw the pieces into a few dumpsters. With 2 or 3 heavy duty bags they should never be noticed (bad smell is expected from trash anyways).
Throw out clothes you were wearing at any point during this (can be done in regular trash).

[KraKto$is8]

Ooh, i have a new one:

Put it in a coffin and bury it in a cemetary. With tombstone

[pyirt]

Originally Posted by clarencetheclockworkcake

but dennis neilson got caught becuase the body parts got stuck. and how can you give a time?

You also have to watchout when dumping body parts in bins. Most bodies are found by dog owners going for a walk with their dogs.

[pyirt]

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

According to those idiotic chain e-mails that go round, Coca Cola can dissolve a steak, so I'd try that!

A large Coca Cola transaction on a credit or debit card in this context would look suspious.

[Zar]

feed it to the pigs....(snatch)

[acropolis]

Originally Posted by Leshy

Honestly officer, he came at me with a knife, so I cut him up and packed him in plastic bags in self-defence!

He was found completely innocent.

In Texas.

Of course.

[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by pyirt

A large Coca Cola transaction on a credit or debit card in this context would look suspious.

You could buy a few litres a day from varying locations paying cash each time.

[Deepflow]

Originally Posted by pyirt

A large Coca Cola transaction on a credit or debit card in this context would look suspious.

just buy it with cash from several different places.

that would also be one of the 'coolest' ways to dispose of a body.

thing is, it might smell and arouse suspicion.

[Deepflow]

me, dante, two bodies, one mind.

im a dirty pinko!

[Knight Theamion]

there are just a few things


they never have to go looking for it

and if they are going to look for it they don't get to find it.

anything that matches those options

all your plans fail that you can be tracked down to that place when you dispose of it, so if you want to dispose, do it in very small steps so you never have more then a 30 minute 'gap' for your alibi.

Just don't get caught.

I would go for dumping in the sea most likely, or if you strangled them, throw them for the train.

[Phang]

Little Shop

Little Shop of Horrors

[Deepflow]

if only we had a man eating plant...

alternatively, if you were a zookeeper, you could feed it to the lions/tigers

that would be

[acropolis]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

if only we had a man eating plant...

alternatively, if you were a zookeeper, you could feed it to the lions/tigers

that would be

didn't work for those dudes in south africa

[Deciduous]

Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue

Incase them in concrete, sculpt it into a large fish and then erect a fountain in your back garden with the statue as centrepiece.

Didnt someone find a baby in a small concrete block in their garage?

[Deepflow]

they did the concrete thiing in lethal weapon 3

that was cool as hell

[clarencetheclockworkcake]

http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/acid.asp

apparently thought toe coke thing is a myth, so no death by coke.