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Ancient writings
I just found this on my HD which I copied from here and now I am returning the favour, because at that point i thought "shit this is ****ing hilarious", a idea that still stands.
Yes i am a cat owner.
DAY 752 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of
the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and
repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on
their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working
according to plan.
DAY 768 I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason
I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What
sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece
of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes
they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.
DAY 774 I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the
other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I
am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the
metal room his safety is assured. But
I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
__________________
Bizarrely overrated
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