Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

[demiGOD]

I was on an early evening dinner/date in one of the better Japanese restaurants we have out here in Los Angeles, with this cute brunette I met at a CD store a week before. It was oddly early and it was the only time during that day when we both can get together so coming from work, I didn't have enough time to change and had to keep my Navy Dress Whites uniform on.

After the delicious, quite pricey meal, as we started talking about random topics, I told her I had to go the bathroom real quick. So I went and walked to the urinal and started urinating and suddenly, felt like farting, so naturally, I farted while taking a piss. Now, a lot of you might whisper to yourselves, ..it's OK, it happens to the best of us... but when I was pissing and farting at the same time, I violently sharded *SPLAAAAAT* in my ****ing pants - a very horrific accident that left a big brown shit spot on my crotch area and down to my lower butt area of my white uniform.

Realizing that there is no possible way to clean me up, I started panicking and scrambled out of the restaurant, opened the emergency exit door without knowing it was an emergency exit door, of course the alarm went off all throughout the restaurant and people started looking at me like I'm a ****ing lunatic, got into my car and raced back to my house. I'm pretty sure some folks saw the shit spots behind my pants, but oh well... all I was worried about was to get home as quick as possible so I can clean myself up.

My date called me 10 minutes later on my mobile phone but of course didn't pick up, so she left a message asking me where the hell I was.

An hour later she calls again, and again I didn't pick up so she left a message yelling at the top of her lungs, asking why the **** I left her with the check.

I never saw her again.


How about you guys? Do you have any moments that will match or top off this very embarrasing story of mine?