Planetarion Forums

pig · 5 Jul 2005, 09:13

So my trip has ended. I am back home in Birmingham. Im older im wiser and im even more travelled. So I guess you guys might want to hear what happened if you dont then stop reading here and go read another thread

So I went to a fair few cities. The places that I visited are

Madrid
Barcelona
Nice
Monaco
Milan
Zurich
Vienna
Bratislava
Budapest
Krakow
Warsaw
Berlin
Paris
San Sebastion
Granada
Tangiers
Casablanca
Marakech

Im not quite sure what to say really, as there are many stories, but I will try to give you a few good ones.

Barcelona:

I was in a club with a beautiful irish girl, my mate was with her best mate and it was looking really good, they were like we are off to the bar to get some more drinks, so I thought this was a good oppurtunity to take a piss and go for a ciggarette. I went to the toilet and was in the middle of a nice long piss, when I felt someones hand move onto my arse, I thought for a second it was the girl I was with, so I turn my head and I see a black guy with dreadlocks, with what looked like a knife in one hand. I finished my piss, turned round and smacked the guy in the face. My thoughts going through my head were its either me losing my wallet and or hit, or him getting hit.

I was about to walk out of the toilets when you hear a ****ing Australian cock shouting

"****ING HELL MATE YOU JUST PUNCHED A ****** YOU RACIST BASTARD, WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU?"

To the screams of the aussie, two bouncers rushed in, looked at the black guy lying on the floor holding his nose with blood rushing out, they then looked at the aussie who pointed to me. They grabbed me, took me upstairs and threw me out of the club. This isnt where it ended. I was then handcuffed and thrown in a police van. With spanish police shouting at me in what sounded like Hooligan. So I sat there for half an hour and the door to the van open, in come 3 prostitutes. One sits next to me, two opposite me.

For a further half an hour I endured

"Hello Baby You want sex"
"You want suck"
"You like sex"
"Sex Sex"

and other weird noises that come out of there mouths. Finally after that half hour the police van started moving, 5 minutes later I was sat down in a cell. Another 10 minutes later, finally a police officer who spoke english came to speak to me. I explained the situation (about being mugged, the guy having a knife etc) I also offered to show him the guy in the club. He said they had infact arrested him, as he tried to mug someone else, this person notified the police instead of hitting him and thus he was arrested, I was released without charge and the officer who was dealing with me said sorry which was nice.

I then returned to the club, with the police officer next to me, met the irish girl and went back to her hotel (at least I skipped the bullshit dance for 2 hours) and then had some fun times.

Monaco

So Its 2am, Im walking the streets of monaco, I cant afford a hotel, and I figure I have like 4 hours to wait, so I lie down on a bench, before I know it a police car pulls up. The guy told me in Monaco they dont appreciate people sleeping on benches and that they were going to have to deport me to France. They asked me to get in the police car, which I did and I jumped in, they took me to the french border and said keep walking straight for 2km and I should reach the train station. Nice chaps, ashame they deported me.

Prague

I got incredibly drunk on absinthe and beer, and the girl in my hostel who was canadian was dancing with me, in the end we walked back together, kissed a little, fondled a little, then went back to the hostel where I screwed her. She then said Im going to my bed now to get a good night sleep, as a single bed for two people is uncomfortable. So I thought sure why not, but she wanted to see me at breakfast before I dissapeared so I was to give her a knock at 7.30 am. So I set my alarm for 7.30 am, she left, then 5 minutes later she came back.

I asked her what are you doing back here, and she replied "I just got a bed in here" so I thought that she wanted more sex, so I said well why dont you just jump into bed with me, she said ok, and we shagged again. At 7.30 my alarm goes off, I switch it off and look to my left. In my head something is not right, then I realise this isnt the same girl, its a completly different girl, the first girl had blonde hair, this one had brunette, so I go to look at her face and it is a different girl.

So I sneak out, go for breakfast with the canadian and come back and say my goodbyes to the American. It was bizarely fun.

San Sebastion

So its 8am, we have been travelling for a good 24 hrs without sleep and a wash. So my friend goes to look for a hostel, So I lie down on a bench, theres a heinekin glass on it so I put it on the floor. My friend returns about an hour later, only to find me sleeping, and the heinekin glass with abou 10 euros in coins in it. It paid for some food and drink to say the least, still was funny at the time.

Gibraltar

Im walking around this little shit place looking for a hostel, I see two police officers, and hear they are speaking spanish. So I go up to them and ask them politiely in spanish do they speak english. They turn round and one goes "What the **** do you think" So I reply "Its quite hard to tell ****stable when you are speaking spanish to one another" He then asks me if his uniform looked like a British police uniform. To which I had the cheek to look him up and down slowly and reply "No it doesnt, you dont have a stab proof vest" To which point he takes my arm and goes follow me. A 30 second walk later im sitting in a police station being told that Gibraltar is not Spanish, that I should respect police officers and not ask stupid questions, and that I shouldnt talk back.

I interupted him in the middle of his rant and said I wanted to speak to the officer in charge, if I wasnt being arrested it was my right, so he got his commanding officer, whom once I explained the situation apologised to me, and told me where the hostel would be.

Basically alot more happened but I rushed this before I go to work, but ill try and think of some more interesting stories. It was a good time, I enjoyed myself and will be a trip I wont forget!

Radical Edward · 5 Jul 2005, 09:21

before you recant every tale, how many times did you get in trouble with the police? and whose cells were the best?

Ste · 5 Jul 2005, 10:52

sounds nice.
I'm just going to bump my old thread rather than strat a new one i think...

Dante Hicks · 5 Jul 2005, 11:00

How much money did you spend in all?

pig · 5 Jul 2005, 14:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radical Edward

before you recant every tale, how many times did you get in trouble with the police? and whose cells were the best?

Three Times

Spainish

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante_Hicks

How much money did you spend in all?

All in all probably close to £1000

Radical Edward · 5 Jul 2005, 14:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by pig

Three Times

Spainish

aah that is all your police tales around Europe then? shame really otherwise you could have written "Doing the bird around Europe: A Hitchhiker's guide to continental Jail Cells"

pig · 5 Jul 2005, 16:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radical Edward

aah that is all your police tales around Europe then? shame really otherwise you could have written "Doing the bird around Europe: A Hitchhiker's guide to continental Jail Cells"

lol a good point, well I tried to avoid trouble but sometimes it was just too difficult, im sure if I tried I could of ended up in more police cells, you never know Yahwe might of got himself a decent client to defend for once

Marilyn Manson · 5 Jul 2005, 16:13

****ing pigs.

Deepflow · 5 Jul 2005, 16:14

are hostels just sex parlours now then?

Marilyn Manson · 5 Jul 2005, 16:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

are hostels just sex parlours now then?

Yep. You thinking of visiting one?

pig · 5 Jul 2005, 16:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

are hostels just sex parlours now then?

pretty much

oh ye I owe u a tenner, pm me how u want it back!

Deepflow · 5 Jul 2005, 17:05

just get me a really cheap hooker if i ever see you again.

pig · 5 Jul 2005, 17:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

just get me a really cheap hooker if i ever see you again.

done

ChubbyChecker · 5 Jul 2005, 17:23

My mate was in Barcelona a couple of weeks ago and he got mugged. And a fair few of my parents' mates have been mugged there too.
Which is weird cos I've been to Barcelona about 10 times and I've never had any trouble.

acropolis · 5 Jul 2005, 17:28

between all the prison sex and bathroom touching and drunken affairs

you are going to need serious disinfection upon return

(but sounds like fun)

dda · 5 Jul 2005, 22:36

Shocking tales. What is becoming of the youth of today?

Yahwe · 5 Jul 2005, 22:41

'birmingham'

dda · 5 Jul 2005, 23:52

It must be the geography. My wife was born in Birmingham, Alabama, but managed to stay out of jail even as a youth (or so an extensive background check indicates). Thus just the name "Birmingham", while undoubtedly contributory, doesn't explain it all.

Demon Dave · 6 Jul 2005, 00:17

Try Birmingham, Warwickshire, England

dda · 6 Jul 2005, 00:42

The Warwickshire part sounds nasty. I suppose that could explain it.

s|k · 6 Jul 2005, 00:51

The word 'Brummagem' which means:

"spurious especially in a cheap and showy way : PHONY, SHAM <a bilious combination of brummagem melodrama and synthetic seascapes -- John McCarten> "

Is actually an alteration of 'Birmingham' which goes to show what a nice place it must be to spawn such a wonderful word.

I use this word often, along with 'blackguard.'

It's one of those insults nobody understands, kind of like when I call an American a 'chav' these days and they have no idea what I mean.

'Oh that's very 'chav' of you!'

Yahwe · 6 Jul 2005, 01:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by s|k

I use this word often, along with 'blackguard.'

i am guessing you mean a blaggard: anyone you call a blackguard has very right to ignore you and move away under the assumption that you are mentally ill.

JamMak · 6 Jul 2005, 01:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demon Dave

Try Birmingham, Warwickshire, England

Birmingham hasn't been in Warwickshire for a while.
About 30 years I think...

JammyJim · 6 Jul 2005, 01:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by dda

The Warwickshire part sounds nasty. I suppose that could explain it.

Warwickshire is a beautiful place. Warwick itself is lovely.

I do hope your not pronouncing it 'war - wick - shire -.'

p.s. Yahwe is right about blaggard. you blaggard!

s|k · 6 Jul 2005, 01:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yahwe

i am guessing you mean a blaggard: anyone you call a blackguard has very right to ignore you and move away under the assumption that you are mentally ill.

Blackguard:
Pronunciation: blag(r)d, -aig-, -agärd, -aigärd, -akgärd, -gd
Function: noun
a : one whose conduct or character is disgraceful : a contemptible scoundrel -- a generalized term of abuse b : a foulmouthed person

You blackguard.

Edit:

Main Entry: blag·gard Pronunciation Guide
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): -s
Etymology: by alteration
: BLACKGUARD

Yahwe · 6 Jul 2005, 01:19

your point?

(i do hate people who imagine that quoting a definition is actually an argument; especially when their own definition shows them to be wrong.

It's not only contemptuous and condescending but also remarkably stupid.)

Demon Dave · 6 Jul 2005, 01:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamMak

Birmingham hasn't been in Warwickshire for a while.
About 30 years I think...

really? what county is it in now then? (lol at imagining the whole city just picking itself up and moving)

JamMak · 6 Jul 2005, 02:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demon Dave

really? what county is it in now then? (lol at imagining the whole city just picking itself up and moving)

Bits of Warwickshire, Staffordshire and Worcestershire were stolen to make the West Midlands, with Birmingham slap bang in the center.

I guess haveing such a big conurbation spread accross three counties wasn't exactly proving much fun.

s|k · 6 Jul 2005, 02:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yahwe

your point?

(i do hate people who imagine that quoting a definition is actually an argument; especially when their own definition shows them to be wrong.

It's not only contemptuous and condescending but also remarkably stupid.)

First of all, **** you.
Second of all, **** you.
Third of all:
[7/5/05 17:20] <yahwe-smokes> i'm giving s|k time to work out how he ****ed up this time
**** you.

You arrogant overly anal ****head.

That is all.

dda · 6 Jul 2005, 02:40

Well, Birmingham, Alabama is right smack dab in the middle of Jefferson County and is damn well staying put. None of this moving around in an unstable type way. One more instance of American superiority.

In the New World Dictionary of the AMERICAN Language it is spelled Blackguard with a pronunciation of blaggerd. It says that it came reference to the lowest servants in the household being in charge of the pots and pans. It then notes that it is primarily English and Canadian and beneah the notice of any solid American.

s|k · 6 Jul 2005, 02:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by dda

and beneah the notice of any solid American.

Yes, that's why I say it in jest and people never know just what it is I'm saying.

dda · 6 Jul 2005, 02:48

Quite right.

Proteus · 6 Jul 2005, 09:34

Birmingham is still in Warwickshire. It's just in the Administrative County of the West Midlands for local government purposes.

JammyJim · 6 Jul 2005, 10:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by dda

Well, Birmingham, Alabama is right smack dab in the middle of Jefferson County and is damn well staying put. None of this moving around in an unstable type way. One more instance of American superiority.

In the New World Dictionary of the AMERICAN Language it is spelled Blackguard with a pronunciation of blaggerd. It says that it came reference to the lowest servants in the household being in charge of the pots and pans. It then notes that it is primarily English and Canadian and beneah the notice of any solid American.

dont be retarded

Radical Edward · 6 Jul 2005, 11:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by JammyJim

dont be retarded

are you suggesting he autoeuthanaise?

Proteus · 6 Jul 2005, 11:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radical Edward

are you suggesting he autoeuthanaise?

I can think of worse suggestions.

JamMak · 6 Jul 2005, 12:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proteus

Birmingham is still in Warwickshire. It's just in the Administrative County of the West Midlands for local government purposes.

Erm, in which way is it still part of Warwickshire?!

It's slap bang in the middle of the West Midlands County. Addresses are in the West Midlands. It's the main reason for the West Midlands being there in the first place.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Midlands_%28county%29

Proteus · 6 Jul 2005, 13:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamMak

Erm, in which way is it still part of Warwickshire?!

In the sense that local government boundary changes don't affect the traditional counties.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamMak

It's slap bang in the middle of the West Midlands County. Addresses are in the West Midlands. It's the main reason for the West Midlands being there in the first place.

And the West Midlands is purely an administrative county.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamMak

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Midlands_%28county%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditi...ies_of_England

(For future reference, quoting Wikipedia at me is unlikely to help, since I know it inside out.)

Yahwe · 6 Jul 2005, 13:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by s|k

First of all, **** you.
Second of all, **** you.
Third of all:
[7/5/05 17:20] <yahwe-smokes> i'm giving s|k time to work out how he ****ed up this time
**** you.

You arrogant overly anal ****head.

That is all.

you're ace

Madina · 6 Jul 2005, 14:05

Quit smoking

JamMak · 6 Jul 2005, 17:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proteus

In the sense that local government boundary changes don't affect the traditional counties.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditi...ies_of_England

And the West Midlands is purely an administrative county.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditi...ies_of_England => "Traditional Counties of England"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wikipedia 'Traditional counties of England'

After local government reform in the late 19th century, the traditional counties are no longer in general use for official geographic purposes (in favour of ceremonial counties or administrative counties), but the system in use is partially based on them, and the postal counties often still follow them.

P.S. I live in the West Midlands; the only 'Warwickshire' related thing that springs to mind is the cricket club :/

dda · 6 Jul 2005, 18:45

God, this is why I love GD.
A thread about Pig's adventures on his holiday turns into a lesson on the location of a certain large city and the proper spelling/pronunciation of a word.

I get negreped for a remark about Warwickshire.

Am called a retard.

Have it suggested that I be euthanised.

To contribute to the discussion I had to consult both an atlas and a dictionary.

Honest to goodness, where else could you find such entertainment?

JammyJim · 6 Jul 2005, 19:50

Erm Im in the West Midlands but my address and my friends addressseseses are Worcestershire or Warwickshire. not 'west midlands.

iut would be :

1 I live here lane
Little Village Green,
Closest Town
Warwickshire
CV22 2VC

OR

1 I live here lane
Little Village Green,
Closest Town
Warwickshire
West Miodlands
CV22 2VC

JamMak · 6 Jul 2005, 19:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by JammyJim

Erm Im in the West Midlands but my address and my friends addressseseses are Worcestershire or Warwickshire. not 'west midlands.

iut would be :

1 I live here lane
Little Village Green,
Closest Town
Warwickshire
CV22 2VC

OR

1 I live here lane
Little Village Green,
Closest Town
Warwickshire
West Miodlands
CV22 2VC

Hmm,l if you're actually in the West Midlands 'county' as apposed to just the area, then I'd guess that you're still writing the 'old' address. Plus lot's of people weren't happy at there houses being moved from (for example) pretty Warwickshire to the West Midlands (apparently house prices went down) so still wrote their old counties on the address.

I'm:
6 My Street,
My Town,
Solihull,
West Midlands
B90 XXX

Dead_Meat · 6 Jul 2005, 20:31

I see no West Midlands

Edit: Thanks wikipedia

ChubbyChecker · 6 Jul 2005, 20:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by JammyJim

I do hope your not pronouncing it 'war - wick - shire -.'

A Swedish girl I know applied to do a course at Leicester University. She pronounced it "Lay - Kester"

A mate of mine was on holiday in Australia and he was in a book shop. Some Aussie picked up a book about Loughborough (I don't know why there was a book about Loughborough in an Australian book shop) and he read the name out loud. He pronounced it "Looga - Bah - Rooga".

Crazy foreigners

Demon Dave · 6 Jul 2005, 21:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamMak

Hmm,l if you're actually in the West Midlands 'county' as apposed to just the area, then I'd guess that you're still writing the 'old' address. Plus lot's of people weren't happy at there houses being moved from (for example) pretty Warwickshire to the West Midlands (apparently house prices went down) so still wrote their old counties on the address.

I'm:
6 My Street,
My Town,
Solihull,
West Midlands
B90 XXX

You live in Solihell?

Proteus · 6 Jul 2005, 21:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamMak

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditi...ies_of_England => "Traditional Counties of England"

I don't see how any of the bit you quoted proves your assertion that Birmingham is not in Warwickshire.

JamMak · 6 Jul 2005, 23:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proteus

I don't see how any of the bit you quoted proves your assertion that Birmingham is not in Warwickshire.

The bit in bold about how the traditional counties are no longer in general use??

Edit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demon Dave

You live in Solihell?

Hey! Solihell/hull is cool!... Enough
I live in Shirley tho, tis good enough for me.