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21 Jan 2007, 03:46
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#1
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Social Greetings
Slightly tipsy, so this thread might not be as coherent as I'd like (..."or indeed, a decent thread at all" yahwe pips in).
When greeting men, I have no problem. Either it's a nod, or a shake of the hand. If I feel they're the "alpha male" of the situation, I let them lead the handshake. If I feel I am, then I lead it. If I'm unsure, I give a nod and usually that's enough.
Greeting girls is a whole different kettle of fish. I'm never sure how I'm supposed to greet a girl/woman. Do you:
-Shake their hand? While formal and a little masculine, this is often the "acceptable" thing. However, there's the worry of shaking their hand a little too firmly, or it just seeming a bit pointless. It isn't the same as shaking a man's hand.
-Give them a hug? This is a natural thing I only do if I feel the situation WARRANTS a hug. I'll often hug my male friends who I haven't seen for some time too. It's not the kind of thing you do with people you see regularly though.
-Kiss them once on the cheek? This is usually ok, and I often find girls move in and expect it in some situations. But it's a bit odd being the guy moving in to kiss the girl, unless it's initiated by them. Also - older women (especially friend's mums - cue JBG's oneliners...).
-Kiss them twice on each cheek? I hate this. I think it's horribly European, and I'm - quite simply - not European. I think it's a little pretentious. I often find myself kissing a girl once on the cheek to say hi, and then them staying near my face, expecting a second. I just feel stupid doing it.
-Kissing them on the lips? It's only happened once or twice, and I hesitate while doing it. I've tried to kiss them on the cheek, but they've moved their lips towards mine... They obviously don't want it to be a romantic kiss, so where do I go with this? Am I able to kiss them on the lips? Isn't it a bit formal? What if she DOES want to be a passionate kiss? Oh gosh I don't know...Oh, it's over.
I met my friend's mum who I'd consider a family friend at Christmas. I hadn't seen her in some time. I wasn't sure how best to greet her. A handshake seemed too formal. A hug seemed a bit over the top. A kiss seemed too friendly. I just didn't know where to position myself physically. I realised later that I didn't need to position myself ANYWHERE physically - that smalltalk was fine.
There isn't a point to this thread. I suppose I could ask why we crave physical contact in social greetings. It's more about interpreting and reacting quickly to changes in social atmosphere though.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Jan 2007, 04:32
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#2
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: Social Greetings
In Spain, for boys I shake their hands, for girls, two kisses on the cheeks.
It's good, it breaks down barriers
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21 Jan 2007, 05:42
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#3
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Social Greetings
If I ever read the phrase "alpha male" in a serious context in one of your posts again I'll IP ban you from the forums.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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21 Jan 2007, 06:00
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#4
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Insomniac
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 3,583
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Re: Social Greetings
shake hands mostly. Hug only if initiated by them.
I doubt i'd ever kiss someone on the cheek to greet them if i wasnt that close to them.
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21 Jan 2007, 06:03
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#5
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
If I ever read the phrase "alpha male" in a serious context in one of your posts again I'll IP ban you from the forums.
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It's ok Jonny you're definitely the gamma-male of the interweb.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Jan 2007, 06:10
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#6
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Social Greetings
And I was so looking forward to that handjob you were going to give the resident alpha male.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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21 Jan 2007, 06:12
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#7
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The brother of Spammer
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Paisley - Scotland
Posts: 2,352
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
-Shake their hand? While formal and a little masculine, this is often the "acceptable" thing. However, there's the worry of shaking their hand a little too firmly, or it just seeming a bit pointless. It isn't the same as shaking a man's hand.
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I dont do masonic handshakes or anything that remotely resembles a fraternity sequence.... never been big on exclusive memberships.
__________________
Missing Subh (r15-r18)
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21 Jan 2007, 06:22
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#8
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
And I was so looking forward to that handjob you were going to give the resident alpha male.
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What do you mean? I had a wank earlier while I was browsing through your mother's website.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Jan 2007, 06:35
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#9
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Social Greetings
Link plz.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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21 Jan 2007, 08:54
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 601
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Re: Social Greetings
Yeah being at uni and when i go home i tend to man hug my mates when i first see them or a very firm hand shake. Same when i come back to uni with my uni mates i guess. Also man hugs generally depends on alcohol levels.
As for girls if im standing up i tend to kiss on the cheek 95% of the time, if not a handshake or occasionally if when they are introduced for the first time and are ridiculously shy a hand shake is plenty. Can always tell by the way they conduct themselves whats meant to happen. With my girl friends its a big hug 99% of the time or a hi and a hug in a minute if not in a position to be able to do that straight away i.e. over the other side of the table.
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[DLR] [Conspiracy Theory] [1up] [Faceless] [Elysium] [LCH] [NewDawn] [Apprime]
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21 Jan 2007, 10:41
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#11
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Bad Girl
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: right here..right now
Posts: 1,055
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Re: Social Greetings
I dont get all the worry about how to greet .. gender isnt an issue
never met b4 (formal)- smile shake hands
never met b4 (informal) - non contact verbal greeting
passing aquaintance - non contact verbal / shake of hand
family member (close) - hug/kiss whatever
family member (not close ) - non contact verbal /shake of hand
good friend - hug/kiss
allways smile - even if u hate their guts...
basically go with what feels comfortable with you, if you are comfortable with the greeting then mostly the other person will sense it through yur body language and feel comfortable with it too.
__________________
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21 Jan 2007, 11:34
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#12
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For Crowly <3
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Luton, England
Posts: 1,391
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Re: Social Greetings
High 5's
Their fast action hugs.
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[14:53:26] * Keiz`afk has joined #support
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21 Jan 2007, 11:43
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#13
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Jazz Man
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,494
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Re: Social Greetings
For greeting girls it usually one hand on their upper arm and a kiss on the opposite cheek.
For men I don't know a firm handshake establishing that I'm not a pansy. For guys I do know then a hand shake but in a more friendly manner. Man hug if we are really good mates and haven't seen in a while.
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Marv
Ex ROCK HC & PA Team Head of Support.
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21 Jan 2007, 11:51
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#14
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1up on you
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 4,007
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Re: Social Greetings
Men a handshake, women one kiss.
It's not difficult.
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pig
[ 1u p]
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21 Jan 2007, 12:22
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#15
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: Social Greetings
you can just give them a little wave, especially if you don't really want to go near them.
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21 Jan 2007, 12:28
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#16
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Social Greetings
or if you're horn you can just run away and wet the bed
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hi
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21 Jan 2007, 13:41
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#17
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
-Kiss them twice on each cheek? I hate this. I think it's horribly European, and I'm - quite simply - not European.
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yes you are. living on an island doesn't mean you're not European. i don't see why you Brits always keep pretending you're in some way 'special' to the rest of the continent.
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21 Jan 2007, 14:26
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#18
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: Social Greetings
Not necessarily 'special' per se.
Just different.
Be it for better or worse, our culture is very different from alot of mainland Europe.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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21 Jan 2007, 14:33
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#19
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: Social Greetings
As for the main point of this thread, I tend to 'go with the flow' so to say.
If people seem forward with their greetings then i'll oblige them.
If they're stand-offish or shy, a simple smile and pleasantry will do.
A lesson i learned the hard-way though is that you need to judge the circumstances properly before you have a sneaky glance down a bird's top on the 'lean-in' greeting.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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21 Jan 2007, 14:37
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#20
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalon
Not necessarily 'special' per se.
Just different.
Be it for better or worse, our culture is very different from alot of mainland Europe.
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sure it is. but cultural differences between let's say England and Norway aren't any bigger than those between Germany and Greece, or Portugal and Denmark, for instance.
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21 Jan 2007, 15:24
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#21
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Evil inside
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,631
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Re: Social Greetings
kissing twice on the cheek is a south-european thing off some sorts. It's not done in the Nordic countries either.
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<Nantoz> Zhukov for Lord Protector!
<Jakiri> (Windows)XP was fine on release
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21 Jan 2007, 15:52
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#22
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
yes you are. living on an island doesn't mean you're not European. i don't see why you Brits always keep pretending you're in some way 'special' to the rest of the continent.
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I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing. Europeans are supposedly more cultured than us. Kissing on two cheeks isn't a very British thing to do though, as we aren't traditionally that affectionate. The French for example, kiss twice. Sometimes more!
Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
Men a handshake, women one kiss.
It's not difficult.
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That's not always the case. Sometimes the woman lingers and moves in, EXPECTING a second kiss. It's then I feel a bit stupid, as I should have done it automatically.
Anyway this thread wasn't me going "omg guyz how do i greet ppl?!". I'm not a social spastic. I was more asking why we had all these different greetings. Also why do we feel the need to greet people physically as well as verbally?
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Jan 2007, 16:02
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#23
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I'm not a social spastic.
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The prosecution begs to differ.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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21 Jan 2007, 16:04
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#24
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Darling
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 890
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Re: Social Greetings
Nine times out of ten kiss on cheek with hug in an informal situation
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21 Jan 2007, 16:56
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#25
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the Sacred Pervert
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,492
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Re: Social Greetings
Hug.
Introductions are mostly handshakes unless the tone is already set for you and a hug on the first meeting is welcomed. After that initial introduction, you always hug whenever a meeting takes place, anywhere, anytime.
"Hello" and "Goodbye" hugs are controlled. The guy's hugging hand will be on the small of her back. Her hugging hand will be on the top part of your back, slightly rubbing. Most of the time, both individual's cheeks are touching. Some girls will make a "Muah!" sound.
For males, you mostly shake hands, anywhere and anytime unless its a very close friend that you haven't seen in long periods of time.
__________________
"....some might say, we will find a brighter day...."
-Oasis
Veneratio | Insomnia | F-Crew | Subh
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21 Jan 2007, 17:03
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#26
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,094
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Re: Social Greetings
a cheerie hello for both sexes, a handshake in semi-formal situations if ive never met the man or woman before but otherwise its just 'hello!!'
i also find the kiss on the cheek thing awkward, and thankfully its only the european women who seem to be truly into it, if a friend introduces me to another friend in say a pub itd feel out of place to get up and kiss on the cheek rather than just putting a smile on my face and saying 'oh hi!'
My sister once introduced me to two of her friends, one was from southern italy and the other was english, the english one gave me a warm smile and a sweet 'hi' the italian charged over to me and stuck her face 3 inches from mine, quite appalled i reluctantly kissed one cheek and withdrew, her face was still 3 inches from mine but with what now appeared to be a demented grin, she arched her eyebrows and i got the message. One kiss on the other cheek later i was released and my personal space given back to me. It was just rude
Don't the weirdos on the continent go around kissing their family members on the lips and stuff??
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21 Jan 2007, 17:47
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#27
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break it down!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,087
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
Men a handshake, women one kiss.
It's not difficult.
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This is what I usually use, although some girls are just shy (probably due to my dashing looks!) when I first meet them so it's just a handshake or verbal greeting.
__________________
I put the sex in dyslexia!
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21 Jan 2007, 17:54
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#28
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Insanity Prawn Boy!
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In a bush where you can't find me
Posts: 2,474
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Re: Social Greetings
I only know one guy who tries to hug me when I see him (one of my housemates) and every time he tries, he gets a shove backwards. A hand shake is more than adequate for most situations and I'm always annoyed by the people try to do the silly 'gangsta' "yo what up g" fist thing when I first meet them.
__________________
They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We shall remember them.
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21 Jan 2007, 18:03
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#29
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1up on you
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 4,007
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
That's not always the case. Sometimes the woman lingers and moves in, EXPECTING a second kiss. It's then I feel a bit stupid, as I should have done it automatically.
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I understand what you mean, it's tough to judge what the woman wants. However I think if you just stick to your guns.
If it all goes tits up and you feel like a twat make a joke, always works for me!
Quote:
Anyway this thread wasn't me going "omg guyz how do i greet ppl?!". I'm not a social spastic. I was more asking why we had all these different greetings. Also why do we feel the need to greet people physically as well as verbally?
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Of course you are not a social spastic!
I think the reason why we greet people physically as well as verbally is almost part of trust.
Take for example my friends.
In general we all say hi, and shake hands. Now my two best friends I don't shake hands with. No idea why, but even though I shake hands with a lot of people, I never shake theres. My theory is that by shaking someones hand, you don't really trust them. Greeting physically is almost testing someone, to see if you can trust them. As soon as you have shaken hands then the trust is in place.
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pig
[ 1u p]
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21 Jan 2007, 18:15
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#30
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Social Greetings
Prevention is better than cure and so I tend to not acknowledge people at all if that's feasible. Saying hello seems to encourage people thinking they might get some sort of human warmth or friendliness in the future, which is unlikely to be forthcoming - so why unnecessarily build expectation?
If completely ignoring them isn't an option then I'll slightly nod the head and glance in their direction (possibly couple with a very brief "alright?". Shaking their hands isn't something I particularly like doing but if someone has come to a place to meet me (e.g. for a business meeting) then I'll do it as it seems to relax them.
If I am meeting someone in a club (and I'm therefore intoxicated in some manner) then I'd probably shake peoples hands (even females) if I'm meeting them for the first time. If I'm being re-introduced to a female that I've met before then I'll probably hug them depending on
a) if their body language implies this is what's desired.
b) a quick mental calculation on how much I want to put my hands on their arse. If this isn't really on my current wish list then I'll probably give them a rather impersonal hug with my hands patting their shoulders. If it's someone I know well then arms need to be securely fastened around them as they may be their sometime in some rather pathetic display of emotions.
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21 Jan 2007, 18:29
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#31
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I ♡ ☠
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 834
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Re: Social Greetings
When in mainland Europe I tend to kiss women on each cheek and shake hands with men. When I come back to Britain I tend to want to kiss women on each cheek but I manage to stop myself before I get stabbed in the stomach or kneed in the crotch. Although, I sometimes kiss women once on the cheek if it seems the right thing to do, but only women whom I know. I hug good friends whom I haven't seen for a while. I generally just say "hello" to men.
And I never, ever assess whether they're the "alpha male" or not. In fact if I find myself ever thinking like that on meeting someone new I fear my cerebrum will start retracting the neural pathways that deal with social interaction. I'm aware that some people are more dominant but I don't change my conscious social interactions due to that realisation. I feel ill now.
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21 Jan 2007, 18:46
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#32
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hebdomad
I'm aware that some people are more dominant but I don't change my conscious social interactions due to that realisation. I feel ill now.
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I bet you do subconsciously.
I don't act the same around my friends in London as my friends in Exeter. Likewise, I act differently around my friends in Jersey than my friends on the internet.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Jan 2007, 19:01
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#33
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I don't act the same around my friends in London as my friends in Exeter. Likewise, I act differently around my friends in Jersey than my friends on the internet.
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Yes, because people are different. It's not clear whether this is about "dominance". Sure, in some circumstances, there are people who fall into certain roles - among some people I'm very much a smelly techie nerd, but among my other friends (who are programmers and assorted IT scum) I'd be more likely to be "generally unhelpful humanities graduate".
The "alpha male" concept always seemed rather weak to me (and yeah, I realise most people aren't serious when they say it, but it does seem to influence their thinking). Human relationships are more complex than something like allow for (unless we're all drunken idiots prowling an English town centre on a Friday night). Even where you can (dubiously) assign some sort of leadership role in a group of humans, it would shift depending on the circumstances. On these forums for instance the people who "dominate" football threads aren't necessarily the same people who would do the same in cultural or political threads.
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21 Jan 2007, 19:13
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#34
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I ♡ ☠
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 834
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I bet you do subconsciously.
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That's why I added the word "consciously" to my reply. My point is, thinking "this man is fitter, happier, more productive than I" is an awful, awful way to think about relationships, and horrifically two-dimensional as Dante pointed out.
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21 Jan 2007, 20:30
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#35
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
That's not what I mean by Alpha Male.
I mean the person who:
-Will generally lead conversations.
-Will often organise the social event.
-If they tell an anecdote or story, everyone will be quiet and listen.
-Is often one of the first people invited to events.
I don't mean "alpha male" in terms of success in life or looks or whatever. I mean they socially dominate.
A small example. I was out at my sister's 18th birthday a couple of weekends ago. I didn't know any of her friends (she doesn't bring them round to the house because we have a rather boisterous Airedale who enjoys bouncing at people...). So she invited myself and 2 of my friends to a bar she'd hired out for the occasion.
We spent 20 minutes or so sitting at a table in a corner, chatting between ourselves. Eventually we got a bit bored of this, and realised we could do this in better bars elsewhere. Where we wouldn't be the "weird old guys sitting in the corner". We were at a party and we should behave like it.
Yet my friends refused to go and talk to anyone there, male or female. I was the one told/nominated to. Sure, it may have been because I was the brother. But it wasn't the first time I've had to lead social proceedings. It was up to me to go up to a group of her friends, introduce myself and my friends, and sit with them.
Being "alpha male" isn't necessarily a good thing though. I expect some people find them quite annoying and brash.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Jan 2007, 20:48
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#36
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: Social Greetings
so how would we greet you TomKat since you're the alpha male?
a blowjob maybe?
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21 Jan 2007, 20:49
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#37
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: Social Greetings
It is true that the Britts are the closed things that resembles those brutes Celts.
However, friends if not seen for a while a hug, otherwise just a nod and 'hows life' .. formal people a handshake, if you leave you might use your other hand with the handshake to show your gratitude, usually with female acquintances or if she is older then you are .. much older
females, a hand and if you know them or a kiss on the cheek, but if the situation doesn't warrant it, a kiss on the hand ...
boy, you know how to greet don't you?
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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21 Jan 2007, 21:16
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#38
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaneED
so how would we greet you TomKat since you're the alpha male?
a blowjob maybe?
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I'm not always the alpha male
Especially not amongst my London friends.
At the GD meets, Yahwe was the social alpha male. This was due to a combination of factors - he can be quite charming (surprisingly!), he steers conversations, he knows locations, and he is quite an amusing and interesting character.
There, a whole bunch of compliments for Yahwe. That's me done for the year.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Jan 2007, 21:19
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#39
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break it down!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,087
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Being "alpha male" isn't necessarily a good thing though. I expect some people find them quite annoying and brash.
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now you know what we think of you!
__________________
I put the sex in dyslexia!
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21 Jan 2007, 21:26
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#40
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I ♡ ☠
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 834
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Re: Social Greetings
I still feel ill. And you're making it worse.
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21 Jan 2007, 21:43
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#41
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hebdomad
I still feel ill. And you're making it worse.
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That'll be the ignorance kicking in
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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22 Jan 2007, 02:58
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#42
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Bad Girl
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: right here..right now
Posts: 1,055
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Being "alpha male" isn't necessarily a good thing though. I expect some people find them quite annoying and brash.
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there are alpha females as well, they are the ones you guys start running for the mens toilet in clubs when the stroll up and start talking to you ( b4 you've had six 1/2 price drinks) cos u find confident women scarey.
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22 Jan 2007, 08:20
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#43
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistwraith
there are alpha females as well, they are the ones you guys start running for the mens toilet in clubs when the stroll up and start talking to you ( b4 you've had six 1/2 price drinks) cos u find confident women scarey.
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yes.
that must be the reason men run from you.
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hi
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22 Jan 2007, 09:29
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#44
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
That's not what I mean by Alpha Male.
I mean the person who:
-Will generally lead conversations.
-Will often organise the social event.
-If they tell an anecdote or story, everyone will be quiet and listen.
-Is often one of the first people invited to events.
I don't mean "alpha male" in terms of success in life or looks or whatever. I mean they socially dominate.
A small example. I was out at my sister's 18th birthday a couple of weekends ago. I didn't know any of her friends (she doesn't bring them round to the house because we have a rather boisterous Airedale who enjoys bouncing at people...). So she invited myself and 2 of my friends to a bar she'd hired out for the occasion.
We spent 20 minutes or so sitting at a table in a corner, chatting between ourselves. Eventually we got a bit bored of this, and realised we could do this in better bars elsewhere. Where we wouldn't be the "weird old guys sitting in the corner". We were at a party and we should behave like it.
Yet my friends refused to go and talk to anyone there, male or female. I was the one told/nominated to. Sure, it may have been because I was the brother. But it wasn't the first time I've had to lead social proceedings. It was up to me to go up to a group of her friends, introduce myself and my friends, and sit with them.
Being "alpha male" isn't necessarily a good thing though. I expect some people find them quite annoying and brash.
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This is stupid anecdotal experience. My friends and I do this but we do it in rotation. I don't really know how to emphasise how stupid and narrow-minded your stupid and narrow-minded outlook is so instead I'm just going to point out it's stupid and narrow-minded. Okay, I think I'm done.
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22 Jan 2007, 10:26
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#45
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Mathamagician
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: At the very edge of existance
Posts: 1,803
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Re: Social Greetings
is it worth pointing out that TK is a frenchie, and thus "a propper europian"?
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I think I just had an evilgasm
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22 Jan 2007, 10:49
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#46
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: Social Greetings
I quite like a good handshake. If someone brings a friend to something we're doing and I don't know them and they're just being introduced to me (as opposed to 'everyone this is X, X this is the bunch of tit-worshipping morons I was telling you about') then I think a handshake's not out of order, male or female. When I go back home and see mates I've not seen for a while the same applies. Well, alright some of them get a hug but that's just because I have no issues with feeling another man's package pressed against my own.
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You're now playing ketchup
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22 Jan 2007, 10:53
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#47
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: Social Greetings
a handshake with the other hand on their shoulder is both formal and friendly
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22 Jan 2007, 12:16
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#48
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
This is stupid anecdotal experience. My friends and I do this but we do it in rotation. I don't really know how to emphasise how stupid and narrow-minded your stupid and narrow-minded outlook is so instead I'm just going to point out it's stupid and narrow-minded. Okay, I think I'm done.
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I didn't say the "alpha male" was always the same person, dude. If you remember my original example, I said they were the person dominating the social situation at that time, so they would usually initiate the handshake.
Try to keep up
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22 Jan 2007, 12:17
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#49
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by pablissimo
I quite like a good handshake. If someone brings a friend to something we're doing and I don't know them and they're just being introduced to me (as opposed to 'everyone this is X, X this is the bunch of tit-worshipping morons I was telling you about') then I think a handshake's not out of order, male or female. When I go back home and see mates I've not seen for a while the same applies. Well, alright some of them get a hug but that's just because I have no issues with feeling another man's package pressed against my own.
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I have no problem with just shaking everyone's hand as a greeting. In fact, I wish this was the ONLY social greeting, as then we'd all know where we stood. It's all these different greetings in different situations that I don't like. They're so unnecessary
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22 Jan 2007, 13:15
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#50
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Social Greetings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I mean the person who:
-Will generally lead conversations.
-Will often organise the social event.
-If they tell an anecdote or story, everyone will be quiet and listen.
-Is often one of the first people invited to events.
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Jonny has already said this but if this doesn't change depending on circumstance then your friends must be a very bizarre bunch indeed. Surely the person who "leads" a conversation will depend on what the subject is? Yes, there are people who are generally shy and there are people who are generally very confident, but for the vast majority of people the level of confidence they display in an individual circumstance will depend on more than merely the girth of their penis, or their testosterone levels. Similarly, who get's invited to a gathering will be a reflection of a range of things. If I was having a birthday party I wouldn't even bother formally inviting T&F - it would be implied. Does this mean he's non-alpha or that's he so alpha he breaks the system?
Trying to apply a theory developed from looking at how baboons display their bottoms (or whatever) is not going to transpose perfectly on human relationships, no matter how many American pop-psychologists tell you otherwise. You could just as equally say that under the Dungeons & Dragons model of human grouping each party of males will have a mage, warrior and rogue. You could then go and find a host of examples of where's that's true, but that wouldn't actually mean that there are individuals who are innately "mage-like".
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