Planetarion Forums - Nutty bint

Spearhead · 31 Oct 2003, 14:55

LOL you are all FAGS!

Women play you like a game, open your eyes .... you are all owned

SbOlly · 31 Oct 2003, 15:21

Eh?

CrashTester · 31 Oct 2003, 15:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cmdr_Cyrax

Ct: she doesn't keep that vibrator by the bed because you don't satisify her, thats JUST WHERE SHE KEEPS JUNK.

Actually she doesnt have a vibrator, she doesnt need one but I would like to get her one. Im gonna get it for Christmas. When I do I couldnt care less where she keeps it, even if its with the junk.

CrashTester · 31 Oct 2003, 16:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1-X

She is being honest here, but for some reason your honesty > hers.

Why is there a sub-genre of porn consisting of amateurs/wives etc? Because the men who like it are turned on by the fact that the women aren't models, they're "real" people. This seems to be something she doesn't like (as you say she accepts other porn). Isn't she allowed to dislike something?

I dont see anyone honesty as being greater than the others but the point I tried to make in this case is that I made my GF aware of what I was like when we met I never hid it at all and she carried on regardless as though it wasnt a problem.

If it was a problem then she was being dishonest to me and herself and I dont see how I am in the wrong when she later has issues with the way I am despite only ever being what I am around her. I've never tried to make myself look different in order to fool her into staying with me, do you see?

That is why I take the stance I do over this issue.

Had I have not told her originally and then this matter came up her reaction would be fair enough since I did not make any attempt to make my desire to have/use porn known to her.

And on you rother point, they are all real people. They are not just lumps of meat regardless whether the models choose to do this for a living and the photo's/film looks like it was done in a studio.

To me there is no difference.

CrashTester · 31 Oct 2003, 16:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by madi

i think you are an idiot
was married for several years
and am currently about to have two year aniversary with the love of my life

but i think you are ignorant and conceited as well as being an idiot

I'd love to analyse your relationship, it wont be anywhere near as solid as you think, all those doubts you have are founded you know.

We all know you think Im an idiot and I accept that so no need to keep repeating yourself eh.

MrL_JaKiri · 31 Oct 2003, 16:27

I see you're still clinging to your idea of honesty being the grail of a relationship, and in that its be all and end all.

Good luck with that.

CrashTester · 31 Oct 2003, 16:30

thanks dude.

Actually though honesty probably does more damage than good. But I can live with that.

SbOlly · 31 Oct 2003, 16:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

I'd love to analyse your relationship, it wont be anywhere near as solid as you think, all those doubts you have are founded you know..

I'm willing to bet its a lot stabler than a relationship that is going to end over some pictures eh?
So how exactly are you going to give her advice? Just in case she wants her bf to dump her, you can teach her how to be an ass?

Vermillion · 31 Oct 2003, 17:51

Get over yourself. Do you honestly believe that because, once, you mentioned to her that you occasionally watch porn, that gives you an automatic get-out-of-jail-free card on any event or subject even remotely related to the general topic?

You told her you watch porn occasionally, she accepted that. When she much later found polaroids of a naked chick in your bedside table, she dicovered that she did have a problem with it, and was honest with you about it.

You instantly fell back on "I told you once I watch porn, therefore you NEVER have ANY right To EVER complain about any porn-related thing I ever do, because I was somewhat honest with you about it in a very non-specific sense a long time ago."

I cannot believe you call yourself "advanced" in a relationship, you are acting like a 15 year old. If this is an issue for her, then talk to her about it, and if these pictures (as you repeat) mean so little to you, what does it cost you to get rid of them?

Perhaps your general comment years ago did not fit the specific requirements of the situation. Perhaps, faced with the situation, she found she had a stronger objection than she originally thought. But none of that seems to matter to you, there is a 'principle' here of her apparently trying to change you despite your long-ago, unspecific "honesty". S9nce when is her having a problem with an aspect your behaviour instantly considered to be trying to 'change' you?

Then, you go on to claim that you (being oh so mature) would not be bothered by her pictures of a well hung man hidden under her bed. Well, maybe I believe that, maybe I dont, but can you not see that maybe, just maybe, others people (such as her) MIGHT be bothered by that? Or is your own personal method of reacting to external stimuli so awe-inspiringly perfect that anyone who reacts differently from you must be in the wrong?

You did something she finds insensetive, and rather than deal with it, you protest "but I TOLD you I was insensetive years ago, so you have no right to complain".

Grow up.

You asked for advice, so I give it, but not to you, to her. Break up with this guy, he is so idoletrous of his own unimpeachable actions he refuses to consider your opinions or feelings, preferring tobreak up with you because he did something insensetive and cannot handle the consequences.

Ninja_spammer · 1 Nov 2003, 11:16

The size of your Ego + your sheer densisity indicate that we should be expecting your locale to be sucked into a singularity any day now.

Please break up with the poor girl she has tolerated you for 18 whole months now, show mercy.

Ebany · 1 Nov 2003, 12:45

One particular thing that occurs to me on reading this thread is a key thing that has changed is that she has moved in with you (I believe, thats what I've understood so far). As such, before, when you informed her you liked to loko at pron she was ok with it, it wasnt really connected with her at all, it was something you did when alone. Now she is moved in with you, I would guess the key factor to her is that it is HER BEDRROM NOW AS WELL and you keeping pictures of other women in your (as a couples) bedroom feels uncomfortable. She hasnt asked you to get rid of it, just stop keeping it in the room that to a lot of people has a special importance in a relationship. Bedrooms are the room where people are most likely to let their emotional side rule, and they will be far more sensitive to the items in there.

You insist they are just there cause thats where you throw junk, either it must be a very full bedside cabinet or there must be a number of other places junk goes, just move them to one of these other places. Yes, she understood you liked to look at porn, yes, she accepted it, but you seem totally unable to see the difference between a top shelf magazine and pictures of a normal woman. Top shelf magazines ARE different. Even women mostly dont see the girls in those magazines as 'real' (I've BEEN one and I dont see it as real ffs). They arent someone you are going to meet in the pub and go off with. You can give a girl as much reassurance as you like, there is almost always that slight doubt in almost every womans mind that you will trade them in for a better model, and the fact you are keeping these pics gives the impression (be it true or otherwise) that you consider this woman a better model. And as a real woman in real photos developed at the local boots, there IS a distinct chance you may meet her down the pub. However, this would appear to be of limited relevance to the issue given she has only requested they are moved. It just to try to help you see the difference should the issue come up in some later relationship, given your total inability to move on the matter suggests that this one wont be going on much longer, and it sounds like the girl is lucky to be free of you.

Yes, honesty is important in a relationship. But is it NOT the be-all and end-all. As peoples feelings change, so do their attitudes. I have actually just started reading a most interesting book about relationships that I get the impression you would consider total and uter rubbish, given it says that for truly deep and satisfying relationships you must compromise. Ive just been flicking through for bits to quote, but im only up to page 27 and its all being a bit cheesey (even I think its cheesey and I understand and like the theories they have, so you would probably just laugh at it)

Enough of the essay writing. I'm sure there are places where your attitudes to her have changed since you first met, I bet she has accepted them. You said you wanted her to be happy (one particular quote that really made me laugh) but you arent willing to do this one thing just because it would make her happy. The dynamics of a relationship change drasically when you commit to such a large step as moving in together. If you arent willing to allow anything to change then there is no way the relationship will last.

MrL_JaKiri · 1 Nov 2003, 13:21

Women, eh?

Jennifer · 2 Nov 2003, 16:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

Honestly? It wouldnt bother me, it doesnt bother me. If something so small and insignificant as pictures of well hung naked men makes her happy then that is fine by me, its her life I want her to enjoy every minute of it. I know I satisfy her and she satisfys me sexually, so I dont need to compete - in fact I CANT compete if someone has a dick twice the size of mine, but if she likes looking at men with bigger dicks than mine it really isnt a problem to me.

The same would apply if she met a film star that she always fancied and he offered her a night of passion. So long as I get told that she would like to go for it before she does it I am happy that I am told so I am given the choice of whether I want to continue the relationship or not. What would kill me is to find out afterwards and having no choice at all.

I'm just big on honesty. I accept that things will happen in life that I dont like but Im big enough to deal with it rationally.

I dont think the people who call me an idiot and such are anywhere near where I am in relationships yet and tuntil more people are people will feel the need to lie and cheat in relationships.

Point 1: How do you know you satisfy her? From 1001 girly nights in*, I know that the majority of men aren't as great as they think they are.

Point 2: Women and men think about these things in different ways. You can't put yourself in her place and say it wouldn't bother you and from that conclude that she's an irrational bitch. It's an emotional thing, and frankly I'm amazed that she actually cares about you enough to be bothered by this, but love is a funny thing. Anyhow, if it bothers her, it bothers her, and no amount of 'rationalizing' on your side according to your point of view and your principles is going to change the fact that it bothers her. You need to accept that for whatever reason, polaroids ARE different from top shelf mags because she says they are, and it's her feelings that are being hurt here, not yours. Being female I can see where she is coming from. It's difficult to explain, but I can tell you that it's something to do with them being of a specific person, and not just of any random 32FF blonde bint in whatever the mags are nowadays. It would be the same if you developed a thing for a *particular* top shelf busty blonde, and only (or almost only) looked at pics of that one person. That makes her feel bad because it's no longer a case of her not having 32FF breasts, or being blonde, or wearing a leather thong, because these things she knows, deep down, don't really matter to you. Now it's a case of her not being that particular individual, and that bothers her because she doens't know what it is about that individual that mean you won't let go of the pics.

Point 3: Yes, she's free to walk away whenever she wants, and yes, it's your right to do what you want, but she retains the right to be pissed off about you doing what you want. If she loves you then she'll try to communicate in the best way she can exactly how much this bothers her, and this is exactly what she is doing. You don't have to do anything about it if you don't want to, but you can't expect her not to be pissed off, just because you think she shouldn't be. Ultimately, you're not perfect, despite what you might think, and you will upset her about things, and if you upset her enough, she will leave you. This polaroid thing is just you upsetting her unnecessarily. There are no rules about who can do what and who is or isn't allowed to be upset about it. In the end, you don't want her to be upset, and you can achieve this in one of two ways: you can do what she wants, or you can persuade her that she doesn't need to be upset by you keeping the pics. I don't really rate your chances on the letter, so I suggest you bin them.

Point 4: If you think you can do what you want and make her accept that and be what you want her to be and she won't leave you because you're such a complete sex god you're in for one hell of a shock.

*I mean this in a 'gossiping-about-guys night in' sense, not a 'lesbian omg-a-man-could-NEVER-do-that-for-me night in' sense.

MrL_JaKiri · 2 Nov 2003, 16:32

Learning Kanji? Good luck with that.

Nodrog · 2 Nov 2003, 16:54

She is right on this particular issue, but CrashTester is right in general.

Jennifer · 2 Nov 2003, 17:21

No he isn't.

She reserves the right to be pissed off about whatever she wants.

NEWSBOT3 · 3 Nov 2003, 14:50

ex-lovers tiff!

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by SbOlly

I'm willing to bet its a lot stabler than a relationship that is going to end over some pictures eh?
So how exactly are you going to give her advice? Just in case she wants her bf to dump her, you can teach her how to be an ass?

Hehe..you need to read properly dude, who said I wanted to offer her advice? I just wanted to analyse it and show her that it isnt as rosey as she thinks.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vermillion

Grow up.

Dude, I'm even more grown up than you! I really am, which is why I dont play silly games in relationships anymore.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:15

Oh, by the way, thanks for all the big long posts with advice and stuff, even the bits about me being an idiot. I havent been around for a couple of days but I will read them all properly soon and reply when I can.

You see, ultimately I am right on this, most of you just dont realise this yet. But I think we are getting there.

MrL_JaKiri · 3 Nov 2003, 19:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

You see, ultimately I am right on this, most of you just dont realise this yet. But I think we are getting there.

Given we've had people saying 'I used to agree with CT, now I think he's an idiot', I think you may be wrong in this assertion.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:32

No, seriously, I can see a few people wavering. When I get time I'm going to reply to people individually and straighten it all out.

In the meantime its a lot easier to call me an idiot rather than think about it.

Aryn · 3 Nov 2003, 19:34

idiot.

Nodrog · 3 Nov 2003, 19:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

No, seriously, I can see a few people wavering. When I get time I'm going to reply to people individually and straighten it all out.

In the meantime its a lot easier to call me an idiot rather than think about it.

You being an idiot and you being partially right on this arent mutually exclusive you know.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aryn

idiot

See, anyone can do it. But thinking..that's much harder.

Ebany · 3 Nov 2003, 19:38

Thinking isnt so complex, but sadly, thinking about anyone aside from yourself seems to be beyond you.

Vermillion · 3 Nov 2003, 19:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

Dude, I'm even more grown up than you! I really am, which is why I dont play silly games in relationships anymore.

He's more grown up than me!

(Guffaw)

If you would open your eyes for just a second, you would see that playing silly games in the relationship is EXACTLY what you are doing right now.

This whole, weak principle based on smething that irritates her but is nothing you care about is the MOST juvenile form of power game. You know that conceding to her would cost you nothing at all, and would appease her legitimate grievances a great deal, but you are so concerned about a (non-existant) principle and maintaining power that you are playing this obtuse little game.

So, you continue thinking you are "more grown up than me". Its classic.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:48

Honestly, you have no idea about how selfless I am. You or anyone cannot judge me on one incident that I happen to mention on an internet forum.

MrL_JaKiri · 3 Nov 2003, 19:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

Honestly, you have no idea about how selfless I am. You or anyone cannot judge me on one incident that I happen to mention on an internet forum.

People are judging you on more evidence than you are judging them on.

Aryn · 3 Nov 2003, 19:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

Honestly, you have no idea about how selfless I am.

the funny part will be when she dumps you for being selfish

LOL!

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aryn

the funny part will be when she dumps you for being selfish

LOL!

But she wont because she willing to compromise. So she is happy to compromise and live with someone who you believe is selfish (and who may may think is selfish too), so who exactly is the idiot here?

Aryn · 3 Nov 2003, 19:56

the point of this thread is that she isn't happy isn't it?

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

People are judging you on more evidence than you are judging them on.

I don't recall judging anyone in all of this :/

Aryn · 3 Nov 2003, 19:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

I don't recall judging anyone in all of this :/

fs you almost got me in trouble for laughing out loud in class

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 19:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aryn

the point of this thread is that she isn't happy isn't it?

No, the point of it is that I am not happy!

MrL_JaKiri · 3 Nov 2003, 20:00

Calling people immature, saying they are inexperienced compared to your love machine self and other such comments appears to be judging to me.

MrL_JaKiri · 3 Nov 2003, 20:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

No, the point of it is that I am not happy!

And we're calling you petty.

Thread over, gg.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 20:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aryn

fs you almost got me in trouble for laughing out loud in class

Cool! You've just experienced some of the joy I bring my GF everyday of her life.

Is it worth risking all of that over a few little pictures?

MrL_JaKiri · 3 Nov 2003, 20:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

Cool! You've just experienced some of the joy I bring my GF everyday of her life.

I prefer to laugh at idiots from afar.

Ebany · 3 Nov 2003, 20:03

But you stated yourself that you really dont care and if she did split up with you then you would quite possibly just throw them out anyway just to spite her... so clearly the idea of losing them (to a whole seperate ROOM! My god, the trek may kill you) doesnt bother you that much.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 20:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

Calling people immature, saying they are inexperienced compared to your love machine self and other such comments appears to be judging to me.

C'mon, thats hardly being judgemental, Im merely pointing out what they are failing to see based on what they have shown me here.

Aryn · 3 Nov 2003, 20:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

Cool! You've just experienced some of the joy I bring my GF everyday of her life.

Is it worth risking all of that over a few little pictures?

wtf are you on about?
she laughs every day cause of your stupidity?
and is it worth dumping her cause you won't move some pictures to make her happy?

make some sense fs

MrL_JaKiri · 3 Nov 2003, 20:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

C'mon, thats hardly being judgemental, Im merely pointing out what they are failing to see based on what they have shown me here.

1st meaning. Although ignore the careful consideration part.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 20:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ebany

But you stated yourself that you really dont care and if she did split up with you then you would quite possibly just throw them out anyway just to spite her... so clearly the idea of losing them (to a whole seperate ROOM! My god, the trek may kill you) doesnt bother you that much.

I wouldnt throw them out to spite her, I was saying I would probably throw them out anyway. I prefer doing things because I want to not because someone tells me I have to, for no good reason.

CrashTester · 3 Nov 2003, 20:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

1st meaning. Although ignore the careful consideration part.

Interesting. Can you do some of that sh*t on 'LOL'?

MrL_JaKiri · 3 Nov 2003, 20:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

Interesting. Can you do some of that sh*t on 'LOL'?

Are words there meaning no is but apparant.

Aryn · 3 Nov 2003, 20:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

I wouldnt throw them out to spite her, I was saying I would probably throw them out anyway. I prefer doing things because I want to not because someone tells me I have to, for no good reason.

interesting
first you say you'd do anything to make her happy
and now you say her happiness isn't a good enough reason to do something..

you're worse than a woman :\

Vermillion · 3 Nov 2003, 20:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

You or anyone cannot judge me on one incident that I happen to mention on an internet forum.

Actually, that is exactly what I have done; I have formed an opinion based on your initial posts, that opinion has degraded somewhat based on your subsequent posts.

Furthermore, not only CAN I judge you based on this one incident, but that is exactly what you ASKED us all to do, to hear you tell about an amusing little incident and inform you of our opinions based on that.

You have demonstrated being a selfish arsehole, yet claim to be a mature enlightened selfless prince. Well, we go based on what evidence you gave us, and that evidence is in clear contradiction to your self-image.

Who knows, it is possible that other than this one selfish idiotic incident, you might be a prince of a boyfriend, the envy of all women. However, Occam's razor, the odds are that this selfish act is simply a symptom of a selfish and self-centered man.

Ebany · 3 Nov 2003, 20:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashTester

I wouldnt throw them out to spite her, I was saying I would probably throw them out anyway. I prefer doing things because I want to not because someone tells me I have to, for no good reason.

But to her there is a good reason, which seems to be something totally beyond your capacity to understand. The simple reason is cause she doesnt like them being there. Is it really that complicated. Yes she knew they were there, in some abstract way, before, but actually seeing them can make a big difference to these things. The whole concept of doing something just because it would make her happy seems to be too comples for you. I KNOW about being stubborn, I could probably beat you by a mile on those stakes, and I can see where you are coming from to an extent but I think youre taking it too far. If its your pride at stake then do it quietly some time when shes not in and just dont mention it. When she notices they aren't there any more she will be REALLY happy with you. And then who knows what kind of treats you may get

CrashTester · 4 Nov 2003, 14:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aryn

interesting
first you say you'd do anything to make her happy
and now you say her happiness isn't a good enough reason to do something..

Not in that quote I didnt.