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16 Nov 2004, 03:20
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#1
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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I feel ill
well i will on Thursday anyways.
I know that the selfish bastards at work have closed leave for this Friday and i want it off.
I'm off on Wednesday so i've conceived this brilliant plan of getting ill on Thursday and still being "poorly" on Friday.
This of course being the way to a 2 day week and a 5 day weekend.
It cant be too serious an illness (lol aids lol) or it will get checked out.
It also needs to be serious enough to get me off work (so no "cold").
It cant be something that i could catch for real (cause if i do i'll be in shit) ie flu/mumps.
TBH i think food poisoning is my best bet however can that last for 2 days?
Anyways suggest away.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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16 Nov 2004, 03:21
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#2
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I feel ill
BTW i aint pulled a sickie at this place (i've worked there for 21 months).
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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16 Nov 2004, 03:36
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#3
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7H4 B4R73ND3R
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: University of South Florida
Posts: 206
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Re: I feel ill
stomach virus? that kinda goes along with your food poisoning...
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...during this process you may even begin to question yourselves, but dont worry for this is healthy. For what are we if we are not what we believe.
The Last Ride of Stephen Whatley and His Immortals
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16 Nov 2004, 05:53
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#4
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Jolt's best friend
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,101
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Re: I feel ill
there's apparently a flu going around atm that lasts for several weeks on and off, resulting in headaches, dizziness, nausia, etc, etc. a couple of people at my dad's work were sent to hospital 'cus they couldn't stand up without falling over.
if you get it, you were just having a respite and it's come back
not being able to walk without falling over is probably a decent excuse for not making it to work
winner
alternativly, the stomach virus plan above leaves plenty of room for making people disgusted enough not to want to talk about it further :P
-mist
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<Karmulian> subtle as a kick in the nuts as always
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16 Nov 2004, 05:59
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#5
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Not Dark or Handsome
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Cwmbru
Posts: 2,588
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Re: I feel ill
Anal tearing.
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"You can't drink a pint of Bovril."
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16 Nov 2004, 08:39
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: I feel ill
claim you were briefly apprehended by the police beause of your posts on this forum. Alternatively alien abduction is the way to go. That way, if your boss or something happens to see you in the street and you look healthy, you can just claim it was a clone that they put in your place to observe humanity.
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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16 Nov 2004, 08:48
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#7
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
BTW i aint pulled a sickie at this place (i've worked there for 21 months).
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Then I doubt there'll be a problem. Just say you've got a horrible diarahoea (sp?) problem, and will go to the doctor's on Friday if it's still bad. Obviously it won't be, so you didn't bother going.
Employers usually only get arsey if you try to pull sickies often.
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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16 Nov 2004, 10:44
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#8
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: I feel ill
yeah, gastroenteritis (sp?) is the way forward
you were off on wednesday and went for a meal with friends, 2 of you had the chicken, and you and your friend both fell ill until the weekend, and vowed never to go back to that restaurant again (obviously you have to pick a restaraunt to make it convincing this way though)
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lazy
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16 Nov 2004, 12:20
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#9
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Choice of Whacker sir?
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 679
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Re: I feel ill
yeah, gastroenteritis (sp?) is the way forward
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* thanos sets mode: -brain The_Shadow_Man
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16 Nov 2004, 15:28
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#10
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
yeah, gastroenteritis (sp?) is the way forward
you were off on wednesday and went for a meal with friends, 2 of you had the chicken, and you and your friend both fell ill until the weekend, and vowed never to go back to that restaurant again (obviously you have to pick a restaraunt to make it convincing this way though)
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Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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16 Nov 2004, 15:31
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: I feel ill
be careful about blaming a restaurant and faking an alibi like that. If the story is too good, you could find yourself being advised to take the restaurant to court or whatever.
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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16 Nov 2004, 15:41
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#12
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: I feel ill
"you did the mussels + beer combo"
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16 Nov 2004, 15:46
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#13
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: I feel ill
Or more accurately, you did the mussels + pint combo.
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17 Nov 2004, 20:52
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#14
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Back from timeout.
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 901
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apothos
Anal tearing.
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__________________
Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
You'll have to prise my penis from my cold, dead hand!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Yahwe
Gay ducks only do it because it impresses their peers.
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17 Nov 2004, 21:18
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#15
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I feel ill
Sat your tits got ripped off in a revolving door.
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17 Nov 2004, 21:31
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#16
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,442
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Re: I feel ill
Tell em the hairdressers burned your perm and scalp.
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17 Nov 2004, 21:38
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#17
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The Arson Specialist
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Deep Shores of Hell
Posts: 524
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Re: I feel ill
I can name you a few restaurants in east london where you can get food poisoning.
Alternatively, there is a rare fruit which will make you suffer from a serious fever if you put it under your armpit for over an hour. I'll tell you when I remember which one.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
i like infernos avatar
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Please dont laugh at me. I'm not trying to be funny.
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18 Nov 2004, 11:56
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#18
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Insanity Prawn Boy!
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In a bush where you can't find me
Posts: 2,474
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Re: I feel ill
say you found some prawns in the back off your fridge and, thinking they were already cooked, ate them
__________________
They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We shall remember them.
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18 Nov 2004, 13:31
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#19
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a little bit broken
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,405
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Re: I feel ill
half price prawn sandwhich from the corner shop
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i came, i saw, i made a bit of a mess
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18 Nov 2004, 13:45
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#20
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I feel ill
Well?
Where is the schiving little Scottish deviant?
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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18 Nov 2004, 14:24
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#21
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I dunno...
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: manchester
Posts: 1,502
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Re: I feel ill
He actually got ill.
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He shall drink naught but brine, for I'll not show him / Where the quick freshes are.
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18 Nov 2004, 15:24
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#22
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
Well?
Where is the schiving little Scottish deviant?
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"Skiving"
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18 Nov 2004, 16:03
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#23
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nondescript human
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,079
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Re: I feel ill
He died horrifically from trying to make the anal tearing excuse a reality.
Edit: I have an image which would significantly enhance this post, but this is supposed to be a 'family-friendly' forum, isn't it. Damn.
Last edited by Nondescript Human; 18 Nov 2004 at 16:08.
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18 Nov 2004, 16:06
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#24
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,442
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Re: I feel ill
He's in the Royal Alexandria Burns unit with 3rd degree burns to this scalp trying to get that perm I suggested.
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18 Nov 2004, 16:36
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#25
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nondescript Human
He died horrifically from trying to make the anal tearing excuse a reality.
Edit: I have an image which would significantly enhance this post, but this is supposed to be a 'family-friendly' forum, isn't it. Damn.
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It'd be old probably too.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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18 Nov 2004, 16:38
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#26
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nondescript Human
but this is supposed to be a 'family-friendly' forum, isn't it. Damn.
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I prefer 'Child-friendly'.
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18 Nov 2004, 16:39
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#27
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I prefer 'Child-friendly'.
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Not with Dace missing it's not.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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18 Nov 2004, 16:46
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#28
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: I feel ill
surely with dace missing that means its more child friendly?
although possibly less offers of sweeties and questions about going to see dace's puppies...
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lazy
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18 Nov 2004, 16:47
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#29
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I feel ill
Depends how you define "friendly."
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18 Nov 2004, 18:20
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#30
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I feel ill
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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18 Nov 2004, 19:50
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#31
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The Arson Specialist
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Deep Shores of Hell
Posts: 524
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nondescript Human
Edit: I have an image which would significantly enhance this post, but this is supposed to be a 'family-friendly' forum, isn't it. Damn.
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Yep. And dont try to bend the rules too.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
i like infernos avatar
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Please dont laugh at me. I'm not trying to be funny.
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