Snapped

[Malice]

So there we were, sitting in front of the television while eating dinner, when the topic of "What to watch?" came up.

She quickly clicks the "list" option on the DVR, and suddenly one word appears...one show...one absolute must see...(according to her):

Snapped.

"I'd kind of like to watch one of these for a change..."

So I ask, "What is Snapped?"

"It is a show about women serial killers and murderers."

Splendid, I thought.

Now for all of you who do not know, here the states we have this channel called "Spike" that is basically a bunch of rubbish intended for male viewers. It is full of shoot'em up movies, cops chasing robbers, you get the picture.

Well, the women, in there infinate desire to be equal, started up a network called Oxygen. It is the cornerstone of womans empowerment and interest. Full of shows depicting women overcoming the odds and rising to the top of the food chain. Muy emotional stuff...

I ask her "So you're looking for ideas, huh?"

"I don't need to watch this show to get ideas..."

Clearly, I should have read into this statement further. It meant, "Shut the hell up now..."

So we start watching the show, and it begins with an interview of this murderer, now in prison, setting the stage for a woman who by all right was an upstanding citizen, good mother, great friend, and of course, horribly mistreated by her husband; who did not beat her, but merely left her at home alone, ignored her, and slept with other women.

A quarter of an hour into the show, it is clear that she is a poisoner, she kills her husband, goes to jail, so on and so forth. Little left for the imagination. Boring really. So I decide to have some fun during the commercial...

"So this is on Oxygen eh?"

"Yes."

"Seems to me like a rather twisted way to empower women."

"WHAT ABOUT THAT CHANNEL YOU WATCH???"

Clearly, this is going bad fast...

"Spike?"

"yeah...all they show is half naked women and people running around shooting things..."

"Sure, but they do not glorify Men going out and killing women....making it look as though the poor gentlemen of the past had no other options..."

"Who are they supposed to kill?" She asks, refering to the women in this program "Snapped"

"Other women?" I reply, still assuming this is going to end with both of us chuckling...

"FINE! I'LL WATCH IT ALONE LATER!" She half screams and flicks the Television off.

"I didn't say turn it off...I was just saying..."

"I DON"T WANT ANY ****ING COMMENTS!"

"Right."

I get up and go to the office. Clearly, this show must be stopped. In only 15 or so minutes, this show "Snapped" has caused her to "Snap" and I am left wondering if it is truely safe to sleep at night.

Next thing I know, she is violently storming through the house cleaning everything, tearing dirt from every wicked corner of the house. All the while, murmuring under her breath. Real hot.

I think to myself..."Damn it man...at this rate, this house will be clean enough for surgery..."

Tomorrow, I will bring the topic of Twinkies, Oprah, and Usefulness to the table. I bet I can get some landscaping done quick, fast, and in a hurry.

[Yahwe]

don't marry her darling

whatever you do and no matter how pretty she may be

[sword]

I'm speechless.

[Cannon_Fodder]

'I sometimes think to myself, wouldnt it be marvellous if i were gay?'

[Appocomaster]

Does she enjoy cleaning? It'd be ironic if, being upset by you "attacking" her watching a channel enouraging the empowerment of women, she sulks by doing the housework.

To be fair, most mens shows (Dukes of Hazzard is probably a classic example) don't have that much of a story line - lots of car chases, inuendo, and attractive (preferably at least semi naked) women.

And surely the woman in the programme should have divorced him for cheating on her? It doesn't seem to make her a strong character, really.

[All Systems Go]

Why do women clean things when they are stressed? It's something I find really odd.

Is it something to do with watching their mothers do it or is it something else?

[Malice]

Originally Posted by Appocomaster

Does she enjoy cleaning? It'd be ironic if, being upset by you "attacking" her watching a channel enouraging the empowerment of women, she sulks by doing the housework.

I didn't think of that...

Seriously, I believe some women, by years and years of conditioning, find a certain measure of stress relief in cleaning house. I mean, now being the day after this lovely event, you can hardly tell anything was wrong at all...save for the sparkling house.

God save me if she ever haphazardly opens this website and decides to give the forums a read.

[Kurashima]

I ask mine if she wants to watch Sky Sports

"Are Liverpool Playing?" she asks

"No" I reply

"Then whats on Challenge. Or Hallmark. Or Five?"

This is the usual conversation which leads to me asking for a sharp object, and a warm bath