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Unread 24 May 2003, 19:20   #1
Kurashima
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[Retro] Ask JBOY
Whilst perusing old text files i have on my system , i came across this little gem. If i remember rightly , i asked Mr Baxter to become the PA Agony Aunt for a week. The questions listed were all genuine, and by the users who have been named.

This concept would have been "Ask Kura" , but i have nowhere near a high enough profile.

Ask JBOY

Jammers
=======
"why do the kids at school laugh at me?"
<JBOY> Probably because theyve been laid more often then you.

"is it normal to spend weekends watching buses?"
<JBOY> Aye. We dae it all the time in Fife. We watch the boats too. Were mad soan we uhr!

"would it be possible to use genetic engineering to create a half-man, half-monkey creature?
<JBOY> Naw. The world isnt big enough for two Dark Lord Seth's

Rids
====
Can I have a Big Mac, large fries and a strawberry milkshake please?
<JBOY> Naw. Cos yer a pasty faced southern poofter.

Grimble
=======
"who are you anyways?"
<JBOY> The rebirth of Stanley Baxter. But harder. And Funnier.


Dark Lord Seth
==============
"Do you wipe from the back to the sack or from the sack to the back?"
<JBOY> Only when im wiping mah arse wi your face.

WarFalcon
=========
'what website\book have you read that would be the most difficult to admit to your friends'
<JBOY> Ah cannae read.

Rhumsaa
=======
"why do you have an obsession with worms voices"
<JBOY> Cos they sound like mah burd. Ah luv mah burd.

Flavius
=======
"shall i blame you ?"
<JBOY> Only if ye want tae be eatin thru a straw fir the rest of yer life.

Iniluki
=======
"Am i suppost to bleed from my ass?"
<JBOY> It Depends what ive jammed up there. If its a brick , then yes.

"Do you think the cops know about the body in your boot yet?"
<JBOY> Whit you talkin aboot. It wis there when i bought the car.

"So when are you planning to over throw JammyJim?"
<JBOY> Youre assuming im no already in control.

"You said what about MarilynManson?"
<JBOY> That he wis yer faither , and yer maw is Bloomers.


Hobbie Rogue 4
==============
What caused your picture to be so grainy looking?
<JBOY> We still use Pinhole cameras here in Fife.

What exactly goes into your hair that makes it styled?
<JBOY> The same thing we use in the vats to fry the chips.

Why is it that when I make a thread titled 'JBOY' it gets turned into a default of 'Jboy'?
<JBOY> Does this look like ask ****ing jeeves? NAW!

Do you have a twin?
<JBOY> Taratang is like me , only mair ginger , and harder.

Is this yours?
<JBOY> Never seen it before. Those arent mah fingerprints. I wasnt in the area at the time.

Have you ever wondered what it is that's displayed in text on www.jboy.com?
<JBOY> Probably gay porn. I dont gie a **** about websites full a poofs. Thats Nod's job.


Oye
===
IF THE FOOTBALL WAS SQUARE, WOULD THE AMOUNT OF WEIRD RESULTS IN THE WC DIMINISH?
<JBOY> Nah , the Koreans would still beat everyone. Cheating little bastards!
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:14   #2
Dace
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'Dear Dace' was the original and The Best!
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:19   #3
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I don't remember that at all :(((((((((
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:24   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyBGood
I don't remember that at all ((((((((


I got annoyed with Deirdries poor advice so i took the questions/situations she was presented with and gave GD the benefit of my considered opinion.
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:25   #5
JonnyBGood
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
I got annoyed with Deirdries poor advice so i took the questions/situations she was presented with and gave GD the benefit of my considered opinion.

I think we should restart this. You, me, nod and kura could answer everyone's queries!
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:28   #6
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lol kill yourself ?
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:28   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyBGood
I think we should restart this. You, me, nod and kura could answer everyone's queries!


'genius'
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:35   #8
JonnyBGood
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Quote:
Originally posted by Freakozoid
lol kill yourself ?

I was thinking more



Dear Virgin and Unhappy,

Nod says he'll solve your problem.

Yours sincerely,

Logged into nodrog's board account.
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:57   #9
Kurashima
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Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyBGood
I think we should restart this. You, me, nod and kura could answer everyone's queries!

I can arrange that if you wish. Every question we get given gets 4 answers.

Questions to be sent via PM or asked on IRC?
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It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
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Unread 24 May 2003, 20:58   #10
huh
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Call me a bluff traditionalist, but aren't aunts usually female?
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Unread 24 May 2003, 21:07   #11
Kurashima
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Quote:
Originally posted by huh
Call me a bluff traditionalist, but aren't aunts usually female?
[list=1][*]Only if youre employed by a **** national newspaper[*]Rule #1 of the internet - There are no females on the internet[/list=1]
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Unread 24 May 2003, 21:21   #12
Starbucks
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i had a idea to post old stuff


i couldnt be bothered
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Unread 25 May 2003, 09:11   #13
JBOY
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Fake irc logs are sooooooo,
erm,


theres a phrase that's actually about a year out of date now....


doesnt matter.,

wasnt me
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Unread 25 May 2003, 22:05   #14
Grimble
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Thumbs up
I found this thread searching for my name
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Unread 25 May 2003, 22:10   #15
Nodrog
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I found this thread searching for Grimble.
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Unread 27 May 2003, 17:35   #16
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You made me laugh out loud my friends. It was a deep belly laugh that made my huge **** rub up against my inner thigh and pull free from where I keep it teathered durring work to prevent the ladies from being distracted.

Now I have to go adjust my harness, thank you though I needed the laugh.
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Unread 27 May 2003, 17:55   #17
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I'm more than you guys will ever be. Why you might ask!? Simply because I'm married to a barbiedoll.
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Unread 27 May 2003, 18:00   #18
MrL_JaKiri
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Do you live in the Barbican?
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Unread 27 May 2003, 18:09   #19
the dying puppy
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Quote:
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Do you live in the Barbican?
or Barbiminivan?
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Unread 27 May 2003, 18:23   #20
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Do you live in the Barbican?
No stupid! I live in Barbielicous.
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Unread 28 May 2003, 10:18   #21
Radical Edward
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
No stupid! I live in Barbielicous.
I thought barbados would have been better.
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Unread 28 May 2003, 12:36   #22
BarbieKen
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I thought barbados would have been better.
I've been there and it's just awefull! Everything is grey and brown. I only like light/navy blue or pink/fluffy for my Barbie.
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Unread 28 May 2003, 12:40   #23
Radical Edward
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
I've been there and it's just awefull! Everything is grey and brown. I only like light/navy blue or pink/fluffy for my Barbie.
sounds like you have been on the Barbi-turates.
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Unread 28 May 2003, 12:42   #24
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sounds like you have been on the Barbi-turates.
I do not like the voice of your tone?
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Unread 28 May 2003, 14:53   #25
JonnyBGood
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
I do not like the voice of your tone?


Hey guys, you think it's a gimmick account*?





















*I've broken my sarcasm detector :((((((((((
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Unread 28 May 2003, 14:59   #26
roadrunner_0
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roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
you broke your sarcasm detector long ago, but thats what you get for talking to dace fs
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