Planetarion Forums

Deathjam · 20 May 2003, 21:56

Dear IT Support
Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2,which I'd used for years without trouble.However,there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse,Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications,such as Lads Night Out 3.1,Football 3.6 and Playstation 2.
Successive versions of Girlfriend 1.0 proved no better.A shareware beta-programme,Party Girl 2.1 that I tried had many bugs and left a virus on my system,forcing me to shutdown completely for several weeks.
Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.8 and Girlfriend 2.1 at the same time,only to discover that when these two programmes detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
Sensing a way out I then upgraded to Fiancee 1.0 only to discover that this programme soon had to be upgraded (at great cost) to Wife 1.0 which I reluctanly agreed to because,whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources,It does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000.
Shortly after this upgrade I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run.For example any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 can also have an automatic Diary Explorer and E-Mail porn Filter and can without warning launch Photostrop and Whingezip!These latter products have no help files and I have to try and guess what the problem is myself.
Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.
Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that also drains my resources.It also conflicted with some new games I had downloaded stating that they were illegal file operations.
When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT programme it often crashes or runs the system dry.Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up feature called Mother-In-Law,which can't be turned off.
Recently I have attempted to try Mistress XP,but a friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress XP,it could delete all my MS Money files before uninstalling itself.
Any Ideas??
Here's the follow up reply to the letter.
Reply:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that generates many complaints.It is due to a primary misconception,generally by male users.Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a utilities and entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it's creator to run everything!It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.Hidden operating system files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0,so nothing is gained.It is impossible to uninstall,delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system.Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child Support".
I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear 6.6" to alleviate software augmentation.Having installed Wife 1.0 myself,I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding "General Partnership Faults(GPFs)".
You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur,regardless of their cause.You will also find that GPFs are cyclical.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Remember:
The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program,but tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs,such as "Clean & Sweep 3.0", "Cook it 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0)",and "Do Bills 4.2".You must however be very careful how you use these programs.Improper use will cause the system to launch the program "NagNag 9.5".Once this happens,the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.I recommend "Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0" should this happen.
Warning!
DO NOT,under any circumstances,install "Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3".This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech support.