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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 04:36   #1
dda
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I Hate House Plants

I do not like sharing space with house plants. They are so damn smug with their "I'm turning carbon dioxide into oxygen, what are you doing for the world" attitude. And all of that greenery and flowers, can they be any bigger attention whores? They are also very needy. "Feed me. Water me. Prune me." Just shut up and leave me alone! And then, inevitably, they start turning brown and losing their leaves making me feel guilty and like a failure. I would buy artificial plants but then I would have to dust them. God, how depressing all of the pressue can be.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 04:40   #2
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Re: I Hate House Plants

feed me seymour
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 09:14   #3
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Re: I Hate House Plants

I feel your pain dda, I'm not much of a plant lover in general.

Everytime someone foolishly puts one into my care it doesn't stay alive very long.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 10:27   #4
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Re: I Hate House Plants

did a venus fly trap bite off your finger as a child, dda?
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 10:32   #5
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Re: I Hate House Plants

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
"Feed me. Water me. Prune me." Just shut up and leave me alone! And then, inevitably, they start turning brown and losing their leaves making me feel guilty and like a failure.
The miracle of children.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 10:36   #6
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Re: I Hate House Plants

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
And then, inevitably, they start turning brown
Quote:
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The miracle of children.
I thought kids only started acting black?
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 13:23   #7
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Re: I Hate House Plants

I grow coriander in my flat. Coriander is a great detoxing herb for mercury poisoning should you ever need that information.
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 13:49   #8
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Exclamation Re: I Hate House Plants

Buy a bonsai tree.
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 13:49   #9
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Re: I Hate House Plants

in my student house we have just got a plant for the front room. i think it makes the place look a bit classier
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 13:49   #10
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Re: I Hate House Plants

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
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Does it have to be human?
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 14:07   #11
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Re: I Hate House Plants

I got a few plants dotted round the house, I got some ones with green leaves and some with red and yellow leaves and some more with green leaves. They don't do a lot but I am pretty sure that since we got them, we haven't been troubled by suicide bombers. Perhaps London Transport should bear that in mind.
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 16:38   #12
djbass
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Re: I Hate House Plants

I don't mind air-plants, very low maintenance.
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 18:16   #13
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Re: I Hate House Plants

Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
I feel your pain dda, I'm not much of a plant lover in general.

Everytime someone foolishly puts one into my care it doesn't stay alive very long.
Then you too are a plant assassin.
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Last edited by dda; 5 Aug 2005 at 18:31. Reason: forgot the n in then
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 18:19   #14
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Re: I Hate House Plants

My garden has started growing its way into my house. Does that make them house plants?
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 18:26   #15
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Re: I Hate House Plants

I am a house plant.

With Leaves.

And a Stem.

That is all.
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 21:16   #16
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Re: I Hate House Plants

Buy a cactus. Low maintenance. Can be pretty. Can be fun/dangerous if invloved in drinking games
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 21:18   #17
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Re: I Hate House Plants

I have never seen the point of having plants indoors. In fact can someone explain the purpose of house plants to me please?!

Reasons cannot include 'the look nice' or 'they brighten the place up' because they do not look nice, and if I want to brighten the place up I'll put a lamp on.
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 21:25   #18
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Re: I Hate House Plants

Quote:
Originally Posted by berzerker
Buy a cactus. Low maintenance. Can be pretty. Can be fun/dangerous if invloved in drinking games
don't even joke about that my dad is a cactus lover...

We've got nearly every conceiveable type excluding the conventional 3 stalk green/pointy desert plant that Wile E coyote always runs into in cartoons.

Too many... way too many =/ There's 4 people in my house... there's close to 35 cacti. Next thread from me might possibly be: "When the cacti attack...."
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 22:02   #19
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Re: I Hate House Plants

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarina_Joy
I have never seen the point of having plants indoors. In fact can someone explain the purpose of house plants to me please?!

Reasons cannot include 'the look nice' or 'they brighten the place up' because they do not look nice, and if I want to brighten the place up I'll put a lamp on.
Good for you, I knew that I couldn't be the only one.

As for cacti, that might be a good idea, at least it is a plant that can fight back. I wouldn't feel so bad about killing something that could at least lash out and have a chance of taking me with it.
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Unread 6 Aug 2005, 20:52   #20
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Re: I Hate House Plants

stop with all of the plant hating. for gods sake i work with plants all day and NEVER have i seen so much hatred against them.

'house plants' ie anything you wish to keep indoors may be usefull if scented (some roses give a very very nice smell) lavander also. basically its so you look slightly cultured, have additional decoration and dont have to buy those silly little deodorising things.
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Unread 6 Aug 2005, 22:38   #21
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Re: I Hate House Plants

Plants only turn CO2 to Oxygen in the day. At night, they turn Oxygen to CO2 as there's no sunlight, etc etc. Hence, they generally, over the year, roughly balance each other out. As they store carbon, like trees, they keep the CO2 down that way, but most of the world's oxygen is produced by the sea, which the world seems to pollute happily

Some plants have practical purposes - things like spider plants solve static problems and so on around computers. Some things like lavender smell nice. If plants are given as gifts (it can be argued as to why they are, but...) then having them on display means you appreciate the gift.
Also, keeping (smaller) plants in houses, greenhouses, porches etc means they're warmer and don't get killed by the cold weather.
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 08:09   #22
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Re: I Hate House Plants

In my house they just get killed by my inability to keep them alive. I don't try to kill them but they die any way. I feel so rejected when this happens. All of the plants outside of my house live and thrive wonderfully. It is sharing space with me that seems to push them over the edge.
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 10:46   #23
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Re: I Hate House Plants

only house plant i liked was a aloe plant, cause if i got hurt i could break one of it's leaves open and help heal myself.. not to mentioin it's a desert plant so it didn't need that much watering.
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