Planetarion Forums

6 Dec 2002, 00:17

What would drive God to killing Kittens?

Mirai · 6 Dec 2002, 00:18

foreskins.

Deffeh · 6 Dec 2002, 00:18

DM closing my AMUSINGLY TITLED THREAD

Starbucks · 6 Dec 2002, 00:19

Quote:

Originally posted by Dace
What would drive God to killing Kittens?

the annoying ones

who scream

at night

or early morning

6 Dec 2002, 00:20

Quote:

Originally posted by Mirai
foreskins.

But God "invented" foreskins.

As such this is not a plausible answer because something that God created can't be evil.

"zero score"

Pyr0 MK III · 6 Dec 2002, 00:22

Hello.jpg or pain.jpg

6 Dec 2002, 00:23

Quote:

Originally posted by Deffeh
DM closing my AMUSINGLY TITLED THREAD

I feel that the "ultimate truth" at the centre of your suggestion is:

"The act of a person stopping happines for no reason"

Do you agree Deffeh?

Sarina_Joy · 6 Dec 2002, 00:23

Quote:

Originally posted by Mirai
foreskins.

fat ones perhaps..

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 00:30

Quote:

Originally posted by Dace
What would drive God to killing Kittens?

Every time you re-subscribe to AOL Mr Rankin?

Deffeh · 6 Dec 2002, 00:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Dace
I feel that the "ultimate truth" at the centre of your suggestion is:

"The act of a person stopping happines for no reason"

Do you agree Deffeh?

yes

but my thread was amusing

i shall post it again at an unspecified time! (tommorow)

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 00:34

Which bit of it was?

6 Dec 2002, 00:35

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Every time you re-subscribe to AOL Mr Rankin?

"I don't own a computer."

Deffeh · 6 Dec 2002, 00:36

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Which bit of it was?

the title. **** all else, yes, but thats not the point.

6 Dec 2002, 01:23

Quote:

Originally posted by Dace
But God "invented" foreskins.

As such this is not a plausible answer because something that God created can't be evil.

"zero score"

But God ordered them removed from the Jews.
Jews = chosen people
Foreskin removal = preference of God

so, Mirai =WIN

Grimble · 6 Dec 2002, 01:28

Anyone ever posting that overused "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten" image macro

6 Dec 2002, 01:34

Quote:

Originally posted by ÐiSCoRPoRaTioN
But God ordered them removed from the Jews.
Jews = chosen people
Foreskin removal = preference of God

so, Mirai =WIN

You should read "Survivor" (by Chuck Palahniuk).

"You and your friend."

It explains some things about religion.

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 01:35

Google tells me that:

Your website’s so ugly, every time you update it, God kills a kitten
Every time you steal software God kills a kitten
time you open an unsolicited new browser window god kills a kitten
Ummm, every time you, uh, play Yahtzee, God kills a kitten
Morrowind: More time killed
... Or a ninja named Bob. Every time you name a character like that, God kills a kitten.
Every time you read my diary, God kills a kitten
Every time you steal my code, God kills a kitten
Every time you make a box on Mefi, Matt kills a kitten.
Every time somebody gets a free comic on Free Comic Book Day without doing something
Every time you light up, God kills a kitten.to tell other people about it, God kills a kitten

Looks like kittens are fked from where I'm standing........

Auro · 6 Dec 2002, 01:36

tubgirl.jpg

6 Dec 2002, 01:37

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Looks like kittens are fked from where I'm standing........

"Where [your] standing" being "on a heap of dead kittens" yeah?!

6 Dec 2002, 01:39

Quote:

Originally posted by Dace
You should read "Survivor" (by Chuck Palahniuk).

"You and your friend."

It explains some things about religion.

Shush. I know more about religion then I let on

but seeing as way past midnight and I get a wonderful 5 hrs of sleep every night, my brain shuts down after a while

unfortunately, it shut down whilst I was conceiving that attempt at a humerous post.

=\

sry, Daceh.
Mirai = still WIN tho, just cuz he had a cyst and all..

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 01:40

Quote:

Originally posted by Dace
"Where [your] standing" being "on a heap of dead kittens" yeah?!

You're implying I'm God?

6 Dec 2002, 01:42

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
You're implying I'm God?

No, i'm "implying" that you can tell that Kittens aren't having a very good time of it because due to your current location you can see alot of dead kittens.

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 01:47

What I can see is that God is gonna have a pretty fking hard time finding enough kittens to kill considering what us down here are willing to let God kill them for..........

6 Dec 2002, 01:49

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
What I can see is that God is gonna have a pretty fking hard time finding enough kittens to kill considering what us down here are willing to let God kill them for..........

I actually thought about this when i started the thread.

You see i always wondered why people bred cats.

Now i think i "know".

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 01:52

But surely God has his own supply, doesn't he?

Either that or he's making a fortune supplying Chinese and Korean restaurants with 'beef' and 'chicken'

6 Dec 2002, 02:00

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
But surely God has his own supply, doesn't he?

I think God only had an initial supply which he thought should last him.

Due to humans breeding and then getting really evil i think God realised that he needed a bigger supply so to avert a major catastrophe* he had the option of either:

- Not being such a hard ass and killing Kittens for **** all reason

or

- Getting more Kittens into circulation in the world

Now thesedays God can't interact with the world directly (which means he couldn't make the Kittens himself).

In addition to this and due to the current situation i deduce that God spoke to some crazy people in their head and told them to make some more Kittens.

Those people who tried to do what God wanted using paper mache and their inherent artistic flair went to Hell when they died.

Those people who bred cats got into the fast lane heading for Heaven when they died.

As such people learned through this trial and error method.

*i am currently laughing at my own "funny"

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 02:08

Frankly, I'm feline more than a little dubious about your theory.

6 Dec 2002, 02:13

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Frankly, I'm feline more than a little dubious about your theory.

Personally i think it gives paws fur thought.

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 02:15

True, but I reckon you're a whisker away from a tall tail

Kurashima · 6 Dec 2002, 02:24

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
True, but I reckon you're a whisker away from a tall tail

What a terrible catalogue of puns you pussies come out with.

6 Dec 2002, 02:25

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
True, but I reckon you're a whisker away from a tall tail

I reckon you're only saying that claws you know i'm right but can't bring yourself to say so.

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 02:27

Wait until I get my claws into it and it'll get even worse

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 02:29

DOUBLE PUN !!!!!!!!!!

I'm hungry, time for a KitKat

6 Dec 2002, 03:06

Quote:

Originally posted by Dace
But God "invented" foreskins.

As such this is not a plausible answer because something that God created can't be evil.

"zero score"

well didnt god invent kittens too then

Dead_Meat · 6 Dec 2002, 08:43

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOFLES !!!!!!!!!!1111111

seventh · 6 Dec 2002, 10:24

Quote:

Originally posted by ÐiSCoRPoRaTioN
But God ordered them removed from the Jews.
Jews = chosen people
Foreskin removal = preference of God

so, Mirai =WIN

Not being racist, but by being chosen what EXACTLY did the jews gain? quite a few dead friends...slavery...and er...a guy in a shakespeare play ages ago losing all his wealth cos he tried to kill a matey.

roadrunner_0 · 6 Dec 2002, 10:27

Quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Google tells me that:

Your website’s so ugly, every time you update it, God kills a kitten
Every time you steal software God kills a kitten
time you open an unsolicited new browser window god kills a kitten
Ummm, every time you, uh, play Yahtzee, God kills a kitten
Morrowind: More time killed
... Or a ninja named Bob. Every time you name a character like that, God kills a kitten.
Every time you read my diary, God kills a kitten
Every time you steal my code, God kills a kitten
Every time you make a box on Mefi, Matt kills a kitten.
Every time somebody gets a free comic on Free Comic Book Day without doing something
Every time you light up, God kills a kitten.to tell other people about it, God kills a kitten

Looks like kittens are fked from where I'm standing........

I got a free comic then

yup, kitten killer extrodinaire, thats meh!

Taratang · 8 Dec 2002, 23:21

Christians