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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:43   #1
Dookie Velvet
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Conversation Starters

Everyday from 4PM to 4:30PM I find myself sitting in the front room of the building in which I work, alone but for an incredibly attactive girl sitting opposite me. And everyday, that half an hour passes in absolute silence.

It's not that we don't like each other. We haven't really worked alongside for long enough to have a solid opinion of each other. We're just two particularly bad conversationalists.

And this is where I need your help, fellow GDers. I need some ideas as to what to say, how to start a conversation with her, so that eventually we'll be comfortable in each other's company. Something witty, something funny, something deep... just something that provides the foundations for building up a friendship.


By the way, although I'd like to give her a good hard seeing to, all I really want is something to make those thirty minutes that little bit more interesting, so if possible, refrain from suggesting chat up lines or anything similar to chat up lines (compliments are okay).


GO!
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:46   #2
Embroglio
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"I'd like to give you a good hard seeing to."
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:46   #3
Black Dog
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"Hi"
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:47   #4
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"So, erm... have you ever had two men at the same time?"

I hope you didn't expect any more mature suggestions
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:47   #5
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:51   #6
Structural Integrity
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"Hi.... do you want to have dinner and sex; or just the sex?"
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:52   #7
Dookie Velvet
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I hate you all.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:53   #8
Embroglio
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Ask her what she's working on for a start, but make it clear that if you're interrupting her for her to just say.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:54   #9
Structural Integrity
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dookie Velvet
I hate you all.
We know...

But apart from that, can't you just knock her out and drag her home?
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:55   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dookie Velvet
I hate you all.
Why? We love you all!
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:58   #11
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"hey.. do you know muslim?"
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:58   #12
ChubbyChecker
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Quote:
Originally posted by Embroglio
Ask her what she's working on for a start, but make it clear that if you're interrupting her for her to just say.
No, that's gay, got to be more forceful.

Something like "Hey baby, if you handle your men like you handle your keyboard I'm in for a right seeing to! WOOF! WOOF!! "
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Unread 9 May 2003, 13:59   #13
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Jammers has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Claim not to know the locations of the nearest toilet, and demand that she tell you where they are.

Or

"Ahoy, you wouldn't happen to have a pen\pencil\paper I can borrow would you, as I appear to have misplaced mine." Then comment on the sensuality of the pen\paper\pencil.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 14:04   #14
Dookie Velvet
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You're getting better.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 14:13   #15
Cynical Oracle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
I wish we could trademark for a less shitty poster
hahahahahahaha, get it?
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Unread 9 May 2003, 14:18   #16
Structural Integrity
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jammers


Or

"Ahoy, you wouldn't happen to have a pen\pencil\paper I can borrow would you, as I appear to have misplaced mine." Then comment on the sensuality of the pen\paper\pencil.
Yes, and then when you get the pen, slowly start licking it.... up.... and down... up.... and down....
and then put it in your mouth, and carefully suck on it.... carefully.... in.... and out.... in.... and out....
and slowly start to suck it harder, and wilder.... and harder.... faster....












And then you'll have sex with her....





















or not ofcourse...
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Unread 9 May 2003, 14:26   #17
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Cut the bottoms out of your pockets so you can fumble with yourself, and then wink and lick your lips when she looks up to see what all the moaning is about.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 14:28   #18
Woof
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Quote:
Originally posted by ChubbyChecker
Hey baby, if you handle your men like you handle your keyboard I'm in for a right seeing to! WOOF! WOOF!! "
Pleas cyber me with PM's in future
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Unread 9 May 2003, 14:48   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cynical Oracle
"You know, I'm really a special agent, payed to keep an eye on you!"
I like. But thats more of a out at a bar chat up line
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Unread 9 May 2003, 15:11   #20
[GAP]Obiwan
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Re: Conversation Starters

Quote:
Originally posted by Dookie Velvet



By the way, although I'd like to give her a good hard seeing to, all I really want is something to make those thirty minutes that little bit more interesting, so if possible, refrain from suggesting chat up lines or anything similar to chat up lines (compliments are okay).


oh big hard man wanna give girl good seeing to you, you can't even TALK to her ffs how do you propose ****ing her?

if you are REALLY that desperate you ask the GD community you really have sunk to an alltime low.

but seeing as you want advise............

<lie_mode>
This one WILL not fail, this is how it goes:
</lie_mode>



Quote:
<him>Did it hurt?
<her> Oldest one in the book - what when i fell down from heaven?
<him> No! when the bus hit your face

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Unread 9 May 2003, 15:15   #21
Woof
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What about the timeless classic..."So, do you come here oftern?"
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Unread 9 May 2003, 15:24   #22
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You need to say "Hi, I like you so much I asked a group of geeks on an internet chat forum for advice on how to chat you up."
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Unread 9 May 2003, 15:25   #23
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Re: Re: Conversation Starters

Quote:
Originally posted by [GAP]Obiwan
oh big hard man wanna give girl good seeing to you, you can't even TALK to her ffs how do you propose ****ing her?
I don't. But I'd like to. Even Stephen Hawking has his fantasies
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Unread 9 May 2003, 15:28   #24
Cynical Oracle
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Quote:
Originally posted by FooFighter
I like. But thats more of a out at a bar chat up line
With that line you will appear to be an easy chetter, not taking things to serious. It's a good thing, trust me.

Alternativly you could try:

Look over at her and make eye contact, make a badly camuflaged grin, and look down, look back upp again and say:
"I'd just like to let you know that I don't mind if you start talking to me at all. I'm really not as busy as I seem." Then grin again.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
I wish we could trademark for a less shitty poster
hahahahahahaha, get it?
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Unread 9 May 2003, 15:33   #25
Dookie Velvet
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Quote:
Originally posted by Toccata & Fugue
Could you not perhaps ask her what she does, where's she's from and then ask her if she would like to have a drink after work only you have to be in town for a while?
I've attempted the small talk, but it's not been very successful so far. I figure making her laugh is the way forward, but I have no idea how to do so, since my vocabulary of humour consists of fart and mom jokes.

Quote:
Originally posted by LHC
You need to say "Hi, I like you so much I asked a group of geeks on an internet chat forum for advice on how to chat you up."
WINNAR



I'm going to use this, though I'll have to modify it a bit.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 15:41   #26
Structural Integrity
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dookie Velvet
I'm going to use this, though I'll have to modify it a bit.
yeah, right.... and next monday, when you sit there again, it will be just as quiet as usual.

MARK MY WORDS!!
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Unread 9 May 2003, 15:58   #27
Madina
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Hi, do you believe in love at first sight or shall i enter the room again

at least i tried
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Unread 9 May 2003, 16:02   #28
SilverSmoke
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SilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so little
why are you all so ****? Just ask and get her a coffee or tea or whatever and start talking a bit about the work and all that



jeez..
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Unread 9 May 2003, 16:06   #29
Cynical Oracle
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Quote:
Originally posted by SilverSmoke
why are you all so ****? Just ask and get her a coffee or tea or whatever and start talking a bit about the work and all that



jeez..
For some of us this comes automatically, but remember that these people are not as pretty as us Silver.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
I wish we could trademark for a less shitty poster
hahahahahahaha, get it?
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Unread 9 May 2003, 16:06   #30
ChubbyChecker
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Quote:
Originally posted by SilverSmoke
why are you all so ****? Just ask and get her a coffee or tea or whatever and start talking a bit about the work and all that



jeez..
Yeah, right...
At least try and come up with something sensible
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Unread 9 May 2003, 16:41   #31
Freakozoid
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I recommend Rohypnol
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Unread 9 May 2003, 17:12   #32
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Introduce yourself for a start.


Then be like. What do you do or sth




don't sleaze.




oh



to get good rapport, try and mimic how she sits, if you do it subtly enough, it's a big sunconcious thing as it seems like you're clicking, even if you do it on purpose.


also, look into her eyes when you speak.


and, if she is good looking and you are ugly, make sure you have a nice personality.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 17:25   #33
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Re: Re: Re: Conversation Starters

Quote:
Originally posted by Dookie Velvet
I don't. But I'd like to. Even Stephen Hawking has his fantasies
He's married.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 17:53   #34
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is she doing similar work to you? if so you have your starting point right there :/
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Unread 9 May 2003, 18:15   #35
Dookie Velvet
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Quote:
Originally posted by KaneED
don't sleaze.
I sometimes have that problem

Quote:
to get good rapport, try and mimic how she sits, if you do it subtly enough, it's a big sunconcious thing as it seems like you're clicking, even if you do it on purpose.
I'll try this.


Quote:
also, look into her eyes when you speak.
Do it already.

Quote:
and, if she is good looking and you are ugly, make sure you have a nice personality.
Well I seem to be the only person there who ever asks how she's doing and how her life is.





Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
He's married.
I bet he'd trade it for a one night romp with Anna Kournikova.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 18:16   #36
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roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.roadrunner_0 has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
and you quoted me why?
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Unread 9 May 2003, 18:17   #37
Dookie Velvet
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Originally posted by roadrunner_0
and you quoted me why?
I was going to answer you but I accidentally pressed enter
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Unread 9 May 2003, 18:46   #38
Black Dog
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Black Dog is just really niceBlack Dog is just really niceBlack Dog is just really niceBlack Dog is just really nice
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Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
He's married.
Isn't that to his nurse or something equally dodgy?
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Unread 9 May 2003, 19:05   #39
MrL_JaKiri
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Quote:
Originally posted by Black Dog
Isn't that to his nurse or something equally dodgy?
He was married to someone else, then he divorced her and married the nurse.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 19:08   #40
JonnyBGood
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Just get up and declare your undying love or something. Be romantic! In love it's worth it.
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Unread 9 May 2003, 19:14   #41
Deffeh
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im glad no one has used anything from the "friends" tv show yet
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Unread 9 May 2003, 19:22   #42
MrL_JaKiri
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deffeh
im glad no one has used anything from the "friends" tv show yet
'I'll be there for you'
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Unread 9 May 2003, 19:33   #43
pablissimo
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deffeh
im glad no one has used anything from the "friends" tv show yet
Suck my willy, missy, I need to unleash man-paste pronto



Although I have been watching the FHM porno version of friends.
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Unread 10 May 2003, 00:00   #44
Pi-air
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"Hi"
This works every time
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Unread 10 May 2003, 00:10   #45
Cyp
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Explain that a future version of yourself travelled back in time, and told you that the world was doomed, and that the only thing that could save the planet from certain destruction is the superhero, that would result from the combination of your and her dna.

Alternatively, rent a horse and carriage, ride to somewhere nice, where you can watch the sunset, and ask her to marry you.


Which of the above approaches you choose, depends on your motives.
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Unread 10 May 2003, 02:21   #46
Dante Hicks
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Any sort of comment, if you can interspere with "funny" will work.

Or, some specific thing related to you, which you can turn into a conversation piece. So, for example, I never wear a coat (don't ask) and therefore on any sort of cold-day I can turn the reason why I don't wear a coat into the beginning of a conversation.

Alternately, asking some really banal could work as an opening. For example, do you know even vaguely where abouts she lives? Like which side of town? Just say you live on the other side of town (or whatever) and you need to know how to get to X (which is closer to her house than yours). When people are giving directions (or recalling any kind of factual information) they tend to relax on a certain level as it's not a pressured social encounter. You can then weave in anecdotes into the discussion if you want.

So, for example, upon speaking to someone from my work I enquired which side of Bromley she was from, as I needed to get a bus to Chislehurst. She then vaguely went over where she was from. I interrupted and said I thought only gypsies came from there (in a humorous fashion), she laughed, and conversation pursued, although I realised I had been continually insulting gypsies for about 20 mins by the time the bus came. Then I realised that (a) I was married, (b) I'm an ugly bastard and this girl was way out of my league and (c) this girl seemed to be anti-gypsy bigot, although so I was I at this point, so I gave up.

But still...
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Unread 10 May 2003, 02:30   #47
Monkehpimp
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hook up with her THEN ask her out.



worked for me once.








or just spike her coffee and do her right there.
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Unread 10 May 2003, 02:32   #48
MrL_JaKiri
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I always wear a coat. I do this because I like how it swishes.
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Unread 10 May 2003, 02:37   #49
Dante Hicks
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
I always wear a coat. I do this because I like how it swishes.
I don't like the foreign-feeling of a coat over my clothes.
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Unread 10 May 2003, 02:39   #50
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
I don't like clothes. The most I generally wear is a dressing gown.
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