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17 Oct 2003, 20:22
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#1
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Your Funeral Arrangements
I want to be cremated.
I want my ashes to be burned again to make sure.
And I want Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries playing as the coffin goes down into the burning dealy.
You?
__________________
You're now playing ketchup
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17 Oct 2003, 20:25
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#2
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I want to be buried, but I don't want things to decompose and eat me, so I think some sort of inert-gas-filled air-tight coffin is in order.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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17 Oct 2003, 20:28
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#3
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I would like to be disposed of in whichever way is economically efficient, and forgotten about as soon as possible.
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17 Oct 2003, 20:29
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#4
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a new low in getting high
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,810
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Funerals are awful, just leave me where I lie thanks.
__________________
There’s trouble on every corner,
And you need a place to hide,
All the bad things follow us down,
I want you by my side.
We’re hitting a new low.
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17 Oct 2003, 20:30
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#5
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
More specifically, what tune do you want either the coffin to be brought in to or to burn to.
I need inspiration. Ironic songs would be good.
__________________
You're now playing ketchup
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17 Oct 2003, 20:35
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,944
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Another one bites the dust
Highway to hell
Livin on a prayer
__________________
I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying
Are the best i've ever had
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17 Oct 2003, 20:36
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#7
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I'm not a poet
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Uppsala
Posts: 603
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I'd like to donate everything to science that science will accept and cremate the rest. Then scatter the ashes in Stockholms Skärgård.
__________________
'There's no place like 127.0.0.1...there's no place like 127.0.0.1'
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17 Oct 2003, 20:52
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#8
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by pablissimo
I want my ashes to be burned again to make sure.
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Make sure of what? That you're dead? This would seem to be [pun]overkill[/pun]
As for me, cremation is the only way to go baby, ashes scattered over the Solent and Brighstone Downs on the Isle of Wight.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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17 Oct 2003, 20:54
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#9
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
Make sure of what? That you're dead?
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I wouldn't want people thinking that I'd done a half-assed job of being dead. I'd be using my full ass should I be cremated twice. And maybe have the ashes buried. At sea.
__________________
You're now playing ketchup
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17 Oct 2003, 20:56
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#10
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Make sure you're cremated Eastern style, in full view, on a bonfire, so people can see your skull explode.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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17 Oct 2003, 21:08
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#11
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I'd preferably be buried in a big either stone or metal casket which is placed into a tomb of sorts.
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17 Oct 2003, 21:10
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#12
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
So kids can come along and drink cider and piss on it after you've gone?
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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17 Oct 2003, 21:11
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#13
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
So kids can come along and drink cider and piss on it after you've gone?
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The tomb will have a lock on it.
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17 Oct 2003, 21:12
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#14
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
It could be the Make Out Tomb of Luuuurve.
Like on US teen movies. Instead of 'Let's go to Make Out Point' it'd be 'lets have sex in Leshy's tomb'.
See? It'd be fan-bastarding-tastic.
__________________
You're now playing ketchup
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17 Oct 2003, 21:12
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#15
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Banned
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: autogenic misery
Posts: 872
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I want my penis to be served at the funeral reception.
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17 Oct 2003, 21:52
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#16
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by pablissimo
More specifically, what tune do you want either the coffin to be brought in to or to burn to.
I need inspiration. Ironic songs would be good.
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There is of course 'Always look on the bright side of life', although for sheer pretention, I'm going with Muse's Thoughts of a Dying Atheist.
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17 Oct 2003, 23:15
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#17
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And you expected Kittens?
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Purgatory, Upper Hell, Manchester.
Posts: 478
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
After death, I want to be submitted for bioweapons research so i can still kick teh royal shee-yit out of scallies from beyond the grave.
__________________
If music be the food of love, then industrial techno be the food of BDSM.
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17 Oct 2003, 23:25
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#18
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by pablissimo
It could be the Make Out Tomb of Luuuurve.
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If that would make it a national monument so it would never be broken down, I could erm... be dead with that.
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17 Oct 2003, 23:30
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#19
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
This is insane.
DM has posted in a thread about funeral arrangements and yet nobody has said anything.
Personally I'd like to have my ashes thrown into the sea while the Hell March plays.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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17 Oct 2003, 23:41
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#20
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Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by inf
I want my penis to be served at the funeral reception.
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Obviously you're not planning a large wake
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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17 Oct 2003, 23:43
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#21
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I'm not a poet
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Uppsala
Posts: 603
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
This is insane.
DM has posted in a thread about funeral arrangements and yet nobody has said anything.
Personally I'd like to have my ashes thrown into the sea while the Hell March plays.
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So you want ot be cremated I take it?
__________________
'There's no place like 127.0.0.1...there's no place like 127.0.0.1'
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17 Oct 2003, 23:49
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#22
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunga
So you want ot be cremated I take it?
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Unless you have some marvellous other plan for converting my bones into ashes heh.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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17 Oct 2003, 23:51
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#23
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Teh Portal Coder
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: There.
Posts: 124
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I want to be embalmed in clear plastic and placed on display in my local pub.
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17 Oct 2003, 23:54
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#24
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I'm not a poet
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Uppsala
Posts: 603
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Maybe I could steal one of the phasers they use in filming Star Trek and vaporise you.
__________________
'There's no place like 127.0.0.1...there's no place like 127.0.0.1'
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17 Oct 2003, 23:58
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#25
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Twisted
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Down with the sickness
Posts: 2,484
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I'll be cremated with Cop shoot Cops 'Everybody loves you (when you're dead)' playing in the background.
__________________
Me
In my sleep I grind my teeth.
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18 Oct 2003, 00:02
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#26
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
This is insane.
DM has posted in a thread about funeral arrangements and yet nobody has said anything.
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I am saddened by the lack of comments.
Is my oldness waning?
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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18 Oct 2003, 00:02
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#27
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,967
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
WTF do I care how I am buried. I will be dead, its not like I will give a shit. In other words, Funerals are for the living.
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18 Oct 2003, 00:37
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#28
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
I am saddened by the lack of comments.
Is my oldness waning?
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That's two escapes from jokes you've had today =(
__________________
You're now playing ketchup
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18 Oct 2003, 00:43
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#29
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Cute and cuddly
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 1,891
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I would like to be buried, but as with Proteus i don't want manky things to eat me up. also i'd have to be kept lying in a bed for a month after i have died just to make sure i'm dead.
__________________
"You're a ****ing ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood."
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18 Oct 2003, 00:52
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#30
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Buried.
Simple as that. I'll be dead so it wont really matter.
__________________
I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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18 Oct 2003, 02:10
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#31
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I'll be dead so i wont care.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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18 Oct 2003, 02:11
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#32
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Saying that tho i might make it a condition of my will to have a bizarre funeral (getting people who are in my will to do "****ed up shit") just for the sheer amusement of it.
Obviously it would only be whilst i was alive id get ot experience the humour but still ...
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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18 Oct 2003, 09:35
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#33
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: in a pie LOL!!1one
Posts: 86
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
I want to be buried, but I don't want things to decompose and eat me, so I think some sort of inert-gas-filled air-tight coffin is in order.
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It's just going back to whence you came.
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18 Oct 2003, 09:41
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#34
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Look over there!
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 704
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Spike Milligan stipulated he be buried inside a washing machine, to confuse archaeologists. or so I am told. This seems wise, but I don't plan on dying anyway.
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18 Oct 2003, 09:58
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#35
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Ancient
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: The Police states of America
Posts: 464
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
i wanna be shot into deep space so my dead body doesn't litter the solar system.. or turned into a Diamond
__________________
"Melting the steel, close to the sun
Dreaming away from this nightmare
A digital world where everyone feeds on lies
Falling from grace, the human race
Religion can never unite us
Only a few will stay on the barricades"
-Masterplan
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18 Oct 2003, 10:17
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#36
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banana
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 150
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I have been programmed to self-destruct when I die.
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18 Oct 2003, 10:49
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#37
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Rawr rawr
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Upside down
Posts: 5,300
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
When I die my destructor is called and I clean up all used memory myself.
__________________
"Yay"
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18 Oct 2003, 10:54
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#38
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Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
When I die my destructor is called and I clean up all used memory myself.
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This is possibly the geekiest reply EVER.
Funny though
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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18 Oct 2003, 12:29
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#39
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Good Son
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Finland
Posts: 3,991
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
I was thinking of letting the science rip off any useful (or useless) organs possibly left after my wrestling match with the eight-wheeler.
Rest can be burned or whatever.
__________________
"Oh, wretched race of a day, children of chance and misery, why do ye compel me to say to you what it were most expedient for you not to hear? What is best of all is for ever beyond your reach: not to be born, not to be, to be nothing. The second best for you, however, is soon to die". Silenus, tutor to Dionysos, speaking to King Midas.
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18 Oct 2003, 14:11
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#40
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Condemned to RP
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 1,654
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Mummified and buried under an obelisk.
Song to be played, Mash theme song - Suicide is Painless.
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18 Oct 2003, 14:34
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#41
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: in a pie LOL!!1one
Posts: 86
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weeks
Stuffed, and evil grin placed on my face.
Placed in the living room with a 'hail hitler' pose.
To scar the kids FOREVER.
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18 Oct 2003, 15:26
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#42
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Don't you love me anymore?
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18 Oct 2003, 15:28
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#43
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: in a pie LOL!!1one
Posts: 86
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weeks
Don't you love me anymore?
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of course I don't.
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18 Oct 2003, 15:45
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#44
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Cooki-Monster
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Ireland
Posts: 515
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by pablissimo
More specifically, what tune do you want either the coffin to be brought in to or to burn to.
I need inspiration. Ironic songs would be good.
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oasis - live forever
__________________
FUN FUN FUN AT PLANETARION
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19 Oct 2003, 13:47
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#45
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
donate my organs (if any still work, the way i am going, they won't) to help others and cremate the rest, very small service, ashes scattered somewhere, doesnt matter where really.
__________________
lazy
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19 Oct 2003, 14:13
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#46
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiemay
oasis - live forever
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Gloria Gaynor - I will survive
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19 Oct 2003, 14:20
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#47
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
A late addition to my arrangements would be the playing, as I was cremated of "Disco Inferno".
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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19 Oct 2003, 15:55
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#48
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Ancient
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: The Police states of America
Posts: 464
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Re: Your Funeral Arrangements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
Gloria Gaynor - I will survive
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First I was afraid
I was petrified
Code:
pet·ri·fy Audio pronunciation of petrified ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ptr-f)
v. pet·ri·fied, pet·ri·fy·ing, pet·ri·fies
v. tr.
1. To convert (wood or other organic matter) into a stony replica by petrifaction.
2. To cause to become stiff or stonelike; deaden.
3. To stun or paralyze with terror; daze.
good choice in music
EDIT:
I was wondering; is anyone else going to identify this song with an one eyed alien forever after?
__________________
"Melting the steel, close to the sun
Dreaming away from this nightmare
A digital world where everyone feeds on lies
Falling from grace, the human race
Religion can never unite us
Only a few will stay on the barricades"
-Masterplan
Last edited by cnaw; 19 Oct 2003 at 16:50.
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