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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 00:00   #1
Tomkat
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Hello this is a thread
...requiring more advice.

I may be a sparkling social personality, but I'm a little confused.

Before I start, I'll point out I'm straight. Not tempted at all by the other side. I have thought about it - like "what it'd be like", but the idea repulses me. ok.

I've recently started at my second school placement.

At this second placement, there are a few other PGCE students, all of whom I get on with well.

There's one girl in particular though, named Eleri (she's welsh).

She's very pretty, and also a lot of fun. Girls that make me laugh and I think are genuinely witty are few and far between, and I've found one here.

She does have a boyfriend, but (in her words) she isn't that bothered about him. I get the impression she'd break up with him if she could be bothered, as it's long distance, they've only been together 3 months, and she very rarely sees him.

She invited me (just me, not the other PGCE students) to the pub (and then a club) with her housemates last Friday.

I went there, and it was ace. I got on with them all, and had a great time.

There was this one guy called Paul there, who's gay.

On Monday I chatted with Eleri about the night and she said that she had an ace time, and her housemates thought I was really funny and cool . "We should all go out again they think", she said.

Later on that day when she was giving me a lift home, she asked if I fancied going to Newquay with her and her friends on the bank holiday weekend (that's this time next week). She said her friends were really keen on me going.

Now when she mentions her friends, she often mentions Paul in particular. This is kind of understandable, as I spoke to him the most as he was very funny.

My problem is that I'm not sure if I'm reading her signals correctly. In my head the possibilities are:
-She just likes me as a friend, and so do her housemates. Which is fine really, as I don't really want a relationship with her anyway.
-Paul fancies me, and Eleri hopes that I'm a closet-gay. This is the thing I'm worried about. I have no idea how to read gay men.
-Eleri fancies me, and is using her housemates as an excuse so it doesn't look like she's inviting me herself.

OK.

The problem is - how do I ask Eleri subtly if Paul fancies me, and is hoping I'm gay? (and then inform her there's no chance there) I can't just out and out say "By the way, I'm straight". She knows I am - she knows I've had girlfriends in the past.

I don't want to come across as one of those tossers who assumes that just because another man is gay, that man is going to come onto him. So how do I word "I'm not interested in Paul in that way at all, as I'm straight - just to let you know" without sounding like some kind of "homophobe"?

Bonus points to anyone who can find a way of wording it so that I inform her I find her quite attractive at the same time.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 00:04   #2
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Re: Hello this is a thread
date-rape her?

I'm sure that'd give the impression you find her attractive and give away the fact that you're not a fag.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 00:33   #3
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Re: Hello this is a thread
you don't

she's a girl.

fascism runs in their blood

don't ask her help. please god don't.

come on strong with her if you want her. nothing else matters

'wood for trees'


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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 01:00   #4
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Tomkat, mention that you're thinking about spliting up with a girl (whether you are or not is imaterial) because the distance thing is a little too tiring for you and would she have any advice?

that'll get you onto a conversation about her current AND defuse the paul situation in one swoop.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 01:46   #5
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Re: Hello this is a thread
make her 'accidently' find you wanking on gay/straight* porn







* depending on your choice of direction
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 02:09   #6
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Next time you're out with them, pay a friend to show up and get into a fake argument with you. Call him a raging faggot infront of her and her friends.

Problem solved.

Unless, they could think by calling him a raging faggot, you're just being bitchy, as he used to be your former boyfriend and therefore you know his a raging faggot since you played hour long episodes of hide the sausage with him.

This problem requires more thought.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 02:14   #7
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Rohypnol is your friend. Unfortunately, it wont be if Paul gets a hold of it.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 04:26   #8
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Re: Hello this is a thread
The scariest thing about this thread is that if you take her up on her offer then you shall be in Newquay at the same time as me and my mates.

Mini GD meet?!?
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 05:32   #9
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Re: Hello this is a thread
****ing hell tomkat analysing things to that extent just leads to **** ups, she likes you, if you like her pursue until conquest, if she doesn't want you she'll tell you to back off, if mr paul tries anything with you just say sorry but you're straight.


edit

and you're either drunk, horny or confused maybe all three

you start off saying eleri is fantabulous and listing how she's pretty much available, then get excited at going on a trip with her, then give three options the first of which contradicts what you've just written, you then contradict your option by saying you want a subtle way to tell her shes lovely!!
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Last edited by Nusselt; 23 Apr 2005 at 05:38.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 06:00   #10
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Re: Hello this is a thread
ROFL, nice vampire...


Personally I think you're being a pussy. Next time you see her ask her to do something that chicks dig like going out for a movie - or even for dinner if you can keep the conversation going for that long alone. I think you're so scared you're finding reasons NOT to try it on with her because you're scared of rejection - who isn't? Go in for the kill - the worst that could happen is that she'll spread rumours about your penile length around campus o/

No fear buddy and one other helpful tip 90% of a woman's arousal is in the MIND

Hugs and Kisses,

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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 06:02   #11
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
come on strong with her if you want her. nothing else matters
I agree with the immortal.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 07:41   #12
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Why not just tell her a "story" (lie) about how once some gay guy tried to come onto you which was hilarious because you're not gay in anyway shape or form.

And then do as the lawyer says.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 11:38   #13
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Now when she mentions her friends, she often mentions Paul in particular.
Next time she does this cant you say something like 'It sounds like your trying to set paul and i up' in a jokingly/half serious way. That way you dont let out any feelings and it might urge her to say 'well i wasnt supposed to tell you but Paul really likes you' (or something along those lines). But seeing how she reacts to it (body language, what is said etc.) you maybe able to find out where you stand with her.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 11:39   #14
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Re: Hello this is a thread
She likes you i think, girls i know and spoken to often use otehrs as a excuse. Although if she and her friends subtly leave you and Paul alone, backs to the wall lad.

Go for her and have fun
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 12:56   #15
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Re: Hello this is a thread
I think i'm giving this thing too much thought.

My main problem was checking Paul didn't fancy me, but you guys have come up with some good ways of "testing the water".

The "Does Eleri like me" isn't that huge - I don't have a problem with asking girls out and things.

Ta!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalon
The scariest thing about this thread is that if you take her up on her offer then you shall be in Newquay at the same time as me and my mates.

Mini GD meet?!?
Is Newquay likely to be busy then that weekend? She said it would be, but I had my doubts.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 13:10   #16
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Everytime i've been before out of season it's been really quiet, summer is packed though. Your guess in this matter would be as good as mine.

We're going for my mates birthday and it's mainly a surfing holiday rather than partying.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 13:44   #17
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Re: Hello this is a thread
what if you were offered a threesome with you, her and that paul guy would you take up the offer, she might be into group sex or summet.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 13:47   #18
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Oh ye if he thinks your gay, good for him, youre not.

Just show youre interest in the girl more than the lad, and try and be a bit more intimate with the girl and "blokey" with the gay guy i.e. did you watch the footy etc. But make sure she knows she likes you, if the gay gay fancies you then thats a compliment doesnt mean you have to return the favour, and it might work out better as once he finds out youre not gay then he will perhaps give the girl consent to go after you, and it can be a joking bonding thing etc.
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 14:18   #19
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
what if you were offered a threesome with you, her and that paul guy would you take up the offer, she might be into group sex or summet.
go on, be the filling in their sandwich
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Unread 23 Apr 2005, 15:18   #20
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Re: Hello this is a thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1-X
go on, be the filling in their sandwich
Eugh eugh, no need for that please.
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If one person is in delusion, they're called insane.
If many people are in delusion, it's called a religion.
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