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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 06:56   #1
Hunter
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If Zombies Attacked...

There has been a Resident Evil-like zombie outbreak... but no one managed to save the day, and now the infestation is quickly spreading across the entire country. In a rare burst of sanity, the federal government has responded to the zombie outbreak by repealing all laws regulating on civilian ownership and use of firearms.

You have less than twenty-four hours to prepare before the undead reach your city. The roads are jammed to the point where it is absolutely impossible to flee, and worse yet the mayor is an utter idiot who is blocking all efforts to mobilize a militia force or fortify the town. On the bright side, the local gun store has expanded into a Third World-esque arms bazaar and is fully stocked with Russian and Western equipment up to and including antitank rocket launchers. Your local car dealership, likewise, has expanded its operations to include used (up to 1970s era) military vehicles up to light tanks.


What do you arm yourself with, and how do you proceed? Post both a budget-less version, and one on a budget.


Personally, I'd take this armored double-decker bus I had in a dream once... Too bad it'd require a bunch of my friends to be effective, and even then, we'd have to be in motion so we don't get swarmed. Or, pull up next to the side of a cliff or something, and just hose them down...

But since it'd be just me, here's what I'd pack...

Flak Jacket, with all those neat-o pouches and D-rings. Chainmail under it.
Motorcycle Riding Chaps. You know, very heavy leather leggings...
Helmet of some sort, that covers the back of my head and neck.
M-14, with plenty of magazines. That is a superior rifle to the M-16.
H&K MP-5, with a couple of magazines, biggest ones availible.
Colt 1911A Pistol for a backup, keep a clip or two in my pocket. Excellent gun.
Benelli 12-gauge Tactical Shotgun. 00 Buckshot and Slug ammo. Home Defense, baby!
Fragmentation Grenades. As many as will fit on my Flak Jacket. Then more at home.

This is the stuff I'd go out into the streets with, along with any other upstanding citizens who enjoy their Second Amendment rights, and draw a line in the sand. And then slaughter every Zombie that comes within a mile of said line

If I had to retreat to my house or something, I'd put metal bars on all the windows. Hell with boarding them up, Zombies are notorious for just punching boards out and reaching in. Then I'd have claymores outside my house, in a near-solid line. There'd be like 8 sets of them, so I can hit the same area many times.

Then I'd find some way to mount machine guns in the windows I intend on protecting. Don't know what type, perhaps M-60s, Vulcans, MG-42 (modern)s, or even a quad-fifty mount...

For my in-house weapons, I'd certainly have a few more Benellis floating around, along several more Colt 1911As, or other pistols... .50 caliber Magnums, if I ever find out if I can handle the recoil. Basically, stuff that's excellent in a CQB.

And, of course, I'd have my entire house rigged with C-4 packed with ball bearings, for when I get overwhelmed... I am not going down without taking every one of them with me...

The whole time, I'd have conveniantly placed speakers blasting out the piece called "The Battle" from Gladiator, "Duel of the Fates" out of Episode 1, Drowning Pool's "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor", among others. Possibly "Hell March" out of Red Alert...


If I wanted to fight off Zombies on a budget... well, I already have everything I'd need, really. Already own a 12-Gauge Tactical Pump Shotgun, with some sweet additions (laser pipper on target, extended magazines, etc.). Have a .357 Magnum, and a Beretta 9mm. All I'd have to buy is a bunch of ammo, the Flak Jacket with pouches and D-Rings, and a couple of frag grenades.

I'd buy some sort of armored vehicle, or else do some modifications to my Dodge Ram, like replacement the back cab with an open-top pickup-style back end, and get some buddies to stand in the back with their own guns... Maybe some other little extras, too, like a better push-bar than the ones I already have.

Oh, and I forgot to mention one thing... I own a chainsaw. Hail to the king, baby!
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 07:15   #2
Monkehpimp
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I'd take an RCP-120 and a bunch of combat boosts.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 07:42   #3
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I fear this will be moved over to RP, but:
I'd use the guns I'm used to. A .50 cal. BMG with a few crates of banded multi purpose bullets on the roof of a building with one entrance, covering the area infront of said entrance. Then an MG3 with regular ammo inside the entrance to retreat to when the area in front of the building get swarmed/the zombies get within distance and start throwing rocks/limbs at me, and perhaps a few frag grenades to throw down while I retreat. When it gets to the point where they start to break in and make entrances elsewhere I'd switch to the trusty AG3, perhaps with a HK79 grenade launcher attached, and simply take down a wall and try to break out. I'd never give up!

That's the cheap version.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 07:53   #4
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I deal with hordes of zombies on a daily basis. Just tell them to reboot and call back if that doesn't work.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 07:58   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gayle29uk
I deal with hordes of zombies on a daily basis. Just tell them to reboot and call back if that doesn't work.
But now they're up close and personal, not on the phone! Are you sure this is the apropriate response? Sure you won't grab the opportunity to do some DAMAGE for once?
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 09:34   #6
Mirai
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Quote:
Originally posted by W
I fear this will be moved over to RP, but:
I'd use the guns I'm used to. A .50 cal. BMG with a few crates of banded multi purpose bullets

That's the cheap version.
Cheap? BMG rounds cost $10 a pop.

Just get a 30.06. Those rifles are powerful enough, and cheaper than dirt.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 10:09   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by W
I fear this will be moved over to RP,
You would hope...
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 11:00   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Monkehpimp
I'd take an RCP-120 and a bunch of combat boosts.
You forgot teh farsight!!!
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 11:34   #9
Monkehpimp
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Quote:
Originally posted by HAL-9000
You forgot teh farsight!!!

it would take forever to kill hordes of zombies with a farsight :/

unless ofc I could get them to stand in a single file and fire one shot through all of them....
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 11:43   #10
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I would let Alucard out from the basement.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 12:05   #11
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Id get some basic equipment from the garden center 500 meters away from my home, axes , scythes, and a nail gun... that sorta stuff (In case they get close and nasty)...id improvise myself a flamethrower... And ofcourse Id just take all the guns I could carry and some armored vests, after that its just rouding up survivors and killing zombies till we all get swarmed and brutally killled and maimed in a mst painfull sort of way..
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 12:20   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mirai
Cheap? BMG rounds cost $10 a pop.

Just get a 30.06. Those rifles are powerful enough, and cheaper than dirt.
I want a bloody assault cannon!

Anyway, if I could get anything, I'd have a fortress with multiple quad-barreled .50 Cal anti-aircraft guns aiming all around.

Oh, and a ****ing moat.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 12:47   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Monkehpimp
it would take forever to kill hordes of zombies with a farsight :/

unless ofc I could get them to stand in a single file and fire one shot through all of them....
But surely zombies cannot be killed anyway - they are already dead or undead or whatever. Surely using tranquiliser would be more effective than trying to kill them? Or you could always just disarm them all....
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 12:49   #14
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I would buy a couple of AK47s or Uzis or something. and then hold a RP meet in my front garden. as we all know, zombies eat brains, and hence the zombies on seeing the RPers would simply asume there are none in the building and leave. next I would use the guns to kill the RPers.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 14:15   #15
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A nice chainsaw and some jerrycans with spare fuel.

Oh, and an apron.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 14:53   #16
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I would run (screaming like a little girl of course) straight to W's home, and take cover behind him.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 15:08   #17
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Cool

I'd hide behind Snurx.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 15:11   #18
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Faith is my shield, devotion my weapon. A crucifix would do just fine.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 15:25   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gayle29uk
I deal with hordes of zombies on a daily basis. Just tell them to reboot and call back if that doesn't work.
LOL
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 15:54   #20
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Seeing it as how I am a munk of the True Fist Order (Yes, this is an attempt to have this thread moved to RP), I choose to battle the undead hordes with nothing but my hands and feet, which are on fire because I have the Gloves of the Holy Flame, and the Boots of Incineration.

Better bring along a few potions of health as well.







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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 16:16   #21
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 16:35   #22
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Can I have a T72 with lots of fuel. I wont need any shells for the cannon I'll just run the buggers over

Oh and it will need a fridge for the beer and a microwave and kettle and probably some furry dice

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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 17:04   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vaio
Can I have a T72 with lots of fuel. I wont need any shells for the cannon I'll just run the buggers over

Oh and it will need a fridge for the beer and a microwave and kettle and probably some furry dice

Vaio
and a bumper sticker saying how long your smoothbore barrel is?
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 17:45   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vaio
Can I have a T72 with lots of fuel. I wont need any shells for the cannon I'll just run the buggers over

Oh and it will need a fridge for the beer and a microwave and kettle and probably some furry dice

Vaio
I was thinking of a tank too, but the thing is those buggers drink too much fuel. More than will last you over 24 hrs of waltzing over zombies anyway.
The point is not to kill as many zombies as possible, but to get out of there.
So, I'd go for something lighter and faster but still armored. Somesort of light APC or so. One of those buggers that are made for off-road terrain.
Mounted with a nice flamethrower that can be controlled from inside and a few friends and .50 cal machineguns on top just in case you have to get out to do something like repairing or refueling.
Loaded with fuel, food and ammo head for the mountains or so. Places where zombies don't go.

Better to live to fight another day, than to go down in a blaze of glory right on the first day.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 17:46   #25
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Bah give me a helicopter gunship and the knowlegde to fly one without spinning around like an idiot when i try to land and i will be fine.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 18:17   #26
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Where would you get a decent automatic rifle in uk?
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 18:19   #27
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What a pointless scenario to speculate upon.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 19:00   #28
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lots of nuclear weapons
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 20:41   #29
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Quote:
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lots of nuclear weapons
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 20:55   #30
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 21:04   #31
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Humvee H1 with Dual bonnet-mounted chainguns, and front bumper mounted Combine harvester blades (with a v8 engine to make 'em spin faster than alastair campbell during the war).

For personal armament, a Ł100000 Saville Row silk suit (gotta look good to die), twin Colt.45's, S&W 12-gauge pump action shotgun (with a mixture of buckshot, slug and explosive shells) and a Katana.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 21:11   #32
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THIS DOESNT BELONG IN GD MOVE IT PLS!!!!
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<AliasX> oh jeasus
<AliasX> this channel did turn gay
*** yahwe ([email protected]) has joined channel #forums
<Oye> that cant be a coincidence
<meaple> he heard you
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 21:14   #33
Nodrog
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Roll about in corpses till I smelled dead, then go around biting people's legs.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 21:27   #34
SilverSmoke
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Just give me a paladin outfit and a lawful good allignment and I'll send them all away by yelling the 'turn undead' spell around
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 21:48   #35
Deffeh
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children

id feed them lots of children, theyd eat them all, and forget about me.
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Unread 24 Aug 2003, 21:50   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deffeh
children

id feed them lots of children, theyd eat them all, and forget about me.
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 03:20   #37
Mirai
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Quote:
Originally posted by SilverSmoke
Just give me a paladin outfit and a lawful good allignment and I'll send them all away by yelling the 'turn undead' spell around
it's 'smite evil', you retard.
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 03:27   #38
Gayle29uk
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mirai
it's 'smite evil', you retard.
Smite Evil Once per day, a Paladin may attempt to Smite Evil with one normal attack. He adds his Charisma modifier (if positive) to the attack roll and deals one point of damage extra per level. Smite Evil has no effect on creatures of non evil alignment, though when used on such a creature the smite is uused up for that day. Smite Evil is supernatural ability.

Turn Undead 7 turn attempts per day. Turning as Cleric of two levels lower.

Take your pick

Oh, and no I didn't know this. I was bored so hit google to see who was right
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ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
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rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 04:09   #39
Muslim
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id make a hooj iron pole, like 30m tall and 2m thick and stay up there with my dragunov and infinite ammo
and id have a katana on my back, incase i got bored of shooting them
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 08:06   #40
SilverSmoke
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mirai
it's 'smite evil', you retard.

I think the turn undead spell is way more effective against mass forces of zombies you ****face
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 08:10   #41
W
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He said Resident Evil-like, implying a universe of science fiction, and not fantasy. There's no such thing as a "turn undead" spell, nor would holy water affect zombies cause by a virus. Exploding bullets on the other hand, would be most effective.
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 08:53   #42
SilverSmoke
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Quote:
Originally posted by W
He said Resident Evil-like, implying a universe of science fiction, and not fantasy. There's no such thing as a "turn undead" spell, nor would holy water affect zombies cause by a virus. Exploding bullets on the other hand, would be most effective.

So we are speaking about science fiction. Well, I have a huge fat time-machine in my cellar and you know what? I don't get one paladin but actually I get an entire army of paladins aiding me to slaughter those pussy zombies!



(Yes I know there is no part in history in where they had zombie killing paladins..shush..)
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 12:54   #43
endokuken
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SOMEONE GET ME A MOTHER****ING P.1000 RATTE*






* with me inside




Yes I saw SA as well
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 13:28   #44
Radical Edward
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Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
What a pointless scenario to speculate upon.
yet not such a departure from the reality that many GDers think they are in.
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 13:52   #45
plasmas_arms
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A dustman uniform, everyone knows the dead dont harm the dusties*.





*Planescape:Torment reference.
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 13:55   #46
Vaio
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I wanted a tank

Vaio
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 16:00   #47
Zapman
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A battle-axe. And maybe some tissues.
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 18:00   #48
Mirai
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Quote:
Originally posted by SilverSmoke
I think the turn undead spell is way more effective against mass forces of zombies you ****face
Hell, I wouldn't know. I play as a druid. Cause druids kick ****ing ass.
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 18:01   #49
SilverSmoke
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mirai
Hell, I wouldn't know. I play as a druid. Cause druids kick ****ing ass.

At the moment I play as a Necromancer, Druide, Paladin, Fighter, Barbarian and Rogue at the same time!
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Unread 25 Aug 2003, 18:05   #50
JonnyBGood
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A spaceship to get the **** away from them.
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