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20 Nov 2003, 15:36
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#1
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Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
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King, Emperor...
George W. Bush was having afternoon tea with Queen Elizabeth in Buckingham Palace, outlining his plans for the future of the USA.
"As I'm the President" said Bush, "I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom".
To which the Queen replies, "I'm sorry Mr Bush, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King.".
George Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?".
To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr Bush".
Bush thought long and hard and came up with "How about an Empire then?".
The Queen, getting a little narked by now replied "Sorry again, Mr Bush, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you're not an Emperor.".
Before George Bush could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country".
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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20 Nov 2003, 15:37
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#2
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: King, Emperor...
I giggled
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20 Nov 2003, 15:39
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#3
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: King, Emperor...
Thread closed for racism.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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20 Nov 2003, 16:09
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#4
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Re: King, Emperor...
Movin' to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
__________________
#linux
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20 Nov 2003, 17:04
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#5
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: King, Emperor...
nice one, i shall steal it and call it my own
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lazy
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20 Nov 2003, 17:14
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#6
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: King, Emperor...
i don't get it
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20 Nov 2003, 17:18
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#7
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
i don't get it
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It helps if you read it out loud, or at least imagine reading it out loud.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:27
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#8
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
i don't get it
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If a King rules a Kingdom, a Prince rules a Principality and an Emperor rules an Empire then what rules a Country?
And I thought I was slow.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:31
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#9
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dennaB
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 586
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChubbyChecker
If a King rules a Kingdom, a Prince rules a Principality and an Emperor rules an Empire then what rules a Country?
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A President?
__________________
:Gandalf:
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20 Nov 2003, 17:33
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#10
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Not Grimble
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no its a cantelope!
silly man!
__________________
I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:34
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#11
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dennaB
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 586
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Re: King, Emperor...
a cantelope?
like the ones in Africa?
with the horns and stuff?
Bush doesn't have horns
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:Gandalf:
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20 Nov 2003, 17:39
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#12
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: King, Emperor...
no, a canteloupe is a 300ft mass of twisted metal shaped to look like Jessica Lynch and spouts fire every 4 seconds while sounding an air horn that immediatly implodes the eardrums of anything within a 90 mile radius.
hence it is slightly less annoying than G.W Bush
__________________
I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:40
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#13
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Banned
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In your mom
Posts: 211
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Re: King, Emperor...
Hey I don't get it, wait I'll just ask your mom what she thinks...
OH LO!LO!L1ol1ol1o11lol1O!L!Olo!LO!11111111111one
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20 Nov 2003, 17:42
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#14
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: King, Emperor...
empire ==> emperor
country ==> countrorur
(maybe replace empire with barony would make it clearer?)
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20 Nov 2003, 17:43
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#15
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BlueTuba
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 6,339
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Re: King, Emperor...
pld Brenda
heh
__________________
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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20 Nov 2003, 17:44
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#16
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dennaB
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 586
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Re: King, Emperor...
Oh wait, I get it.
Is she saying Bush is a count?
Like Count Dracula
it's funny because he has pointy teeth!
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:Gandalf:
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20 Nov 2003, 17:47
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#17
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: King, Emperor...
I just wish she'd get on with dying, then we could have a King, like it's meant to be.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:47
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#18
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dennaB
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 586
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Re: King, Emperor...
I have been informed on irc that it's funny because Bush looks like a monkey.
This thread is ****ing confusing.
__________________
:Gandalf:
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20 Nov 2003, 17:47
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#19
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I just wish she'd get on with dying, then we could have a King, like it's meant to be.
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And Queen Camilla.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:48
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#20
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
And Queen Camilla.
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Nobody said Queens were supposed to be shaggable.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:51
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#21
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: King, Emperor...
If we had a King, the cool verse at the end of the national anthem would rhyme again!
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:53
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#22
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: King, Emperor...
god save the king?
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:53
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#23
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: King, Emperor...
You do realise that for the first time ever you will actually KNOW that your King is a rampant bummer with a ravenous appetite for helpless servant men!
Instead of just taking an educated guess
__________________
I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:53
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#24
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: King, Emperor...
and i thought the whole thing was she didn't want charles to take the crown.. she wanted william to
only he doesn't want it
lol
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:55
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#25
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Not Dark or Handsome
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Cwmbru
Posts: 2,588
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Not Grimble
I have been informed on irc that it's funny because Bush looks like a monkey.
This thread is ****ing confusing.
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'Cnutry'.
__________________
"You can't drink a pint of Bovril."
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20 Nov 2003, 17:56
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#26
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: King, Emperor...
Y'know you british and the commonwealth lot should storm the palace and put the lot to the sword.
Then raid all their stuff,sell it on eBay then spread the wealth around. Im guessing everyone would get at least £400 out of it.
__________________
I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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20 Nov 2003, 17:56
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#27
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Rawr rawr
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Upside down
Posts: 5,300
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Re: King, Emperor...
ooooooh.... I think I get it.
Country... cun-try
a place with a cun-t as head....
I guess it's OK-ish as a joke.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:05
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#28
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aryn
god save the king?
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Lord grant that Marshal Wade
May by thy mighty aid
Victory bring!
May he sedition hush,
And like a torrent rush
Rebellious Scots to crush,
God save the Queen!
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:07
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#29
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aryn
and i thought the whole thing was she didn't want charles to take the crown.. she wanted william to
only he doesn't want it
lol
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Rampant speculation!!!!!!!!11
Though it wouldn't be a good idea for Charlie to become King, he's too outspoken for his own good.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:12
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#30
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
ooooooh.... I think I get it.
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Sweet jesus. Even I got it faster than this ;p
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20 Nov 2003, 18:16
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#31
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChubbyChecker
Rampant speculation!!!!!!!!11
Though it wouldn't be a good idea for Charlie to become King, he's too outspoken for his own good.
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all hail king harry!
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:22
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#32
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: King, Emperor...
She's our queen, not yours!!
Oh wait, she's yours too.
Does she also appear on your coins and bank notes?
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20 Nov 2003, 18:24
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#33
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: King, Emperor...
yup :\
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:27
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#34
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: King, Emperor...
Wow, what an honour.
Would be nice if you helped pay for her and that extended family of hers too
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20 Nov 2003, 18:29
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#35
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: King, Emperor...
haha
bow before our once mighty empire canadian wench.
__________________
Forum Administrator
Mail : [email protected] // IRC : #forums
__________________
It's not personal, it's just business.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:29
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#36
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChubbyChecker
Wow, what an honour.
Would be nice if you helped pay for her and that extended family of hers too
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The Queen pays for herself many times over.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:30
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#37
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: King, Emperor...
nah
see here she's just a 'figurehead'
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:37
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#38
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
The Queen pays for herself many times over.
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I could pay for myself many times over if someone gave me millions of pounds.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:38
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#39
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I could pay for myself many times over if someone gave me millions of pounds.
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The Queen pays the Treasury more than the Treasury pays her.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:42
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#40
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
The Queen pays the Treasury more than the Treasury pays her.
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I forget she made all her money from working long shifts in the Peckham branch of KFC. And her house. And her stuff, etc.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:44
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#41
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I forget she made all her money from working long shifts in the Peckham branch of KFC. And her house. And her stuff, etc.
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That makes lots of sense.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:47
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#42
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
That makes lots of sense.
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My point was : Any talk of the Queen being a net contributor (even if we realistically assess the use of state assets like palaces, art work adorning her house, etc) is meaningless because she's doesn't really earn money in a traditional sense. Any money she does earn isn't due to inherent talents but solely due to being the Queen.
Tell you what, give me several mansions to live in (for gratis), a personal security service, several million pounds (per annum) and then after that, I'll be a net contributor too.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:51
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#43
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: King, Emperor...
is it the c u * t part because i'm conufsed
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20 Nov 2003, 18:52
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#44
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Klaatu barada nikto
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 3,237
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
Tell you what, give me several mansions to live in (for gratis), a personal security service, several million pounds (per annum) and then after that, I'll be a net contributor too.
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Damn commies!
__________________
The Ottawa Citizen and Southam News wish to apologize for our apology to Mark Steyn, published Oct. 22. In correcting the incorrect statements about Mr. Steyn published Oct. 15, we incorrectly published the incorrect correction. We accept and regret that our original regrets were unacceptable and we apologize to Mr. Steyn for any distress caused by our previous apology.
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20 Nov 2003, 18:54
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#45
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tactitus
Damn commies!
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Look, we all need mansions, jewels and limosuines! Surely you can't deny me state assistance to achieve my human rights?!
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20 Nov 2003, 19:01
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#46
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaneED
is it the c u * t part because i'm conufsed
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yeah it's supposed to be but it doesn't make any sense because the empire emperor line comes right in front of it
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20 Nov 2003, 19:04
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#47
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
My point was : Any talk of the Queen being a net contributor (even if we realistically assess the use of state assets like palaces, art work adorning her house, etc) is meaningless because she's doesn't really earn money in a traditional sense. Any money she does earn isn't due to inherent talents but solely due to being the Queen.
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Whether or not there are "inherent talents", you can compare whether or not we'd better off with the monarchy or without by comparing credits and debits. Unless she is diverting patriotism that would otherwise go into utopia-building or something.
__________________
#linux
Last edited by queball; 20 Nov 2003 at 19:11.
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20 Nov 2003, 19:10
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#48
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Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
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Re: King, Emperor...
Some of you people have no sense of humour
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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20 Nov 2003, 20:25
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#49
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Banned
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 337
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Re: King, Emperor...
I don't get it, is this thread supposed to make Queen look smart, young and pretty and Pres Bush stupid, old and ugly?
whats going on people?
was it on the news?
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20 Nov 2003, 20:27
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#50
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: King, Emperor...
Quote:
Originally Posted by queball
Whether or not there are "inherent talents", you can compare whether or not we'd better off with the monarchy or without by comparing credits and debits. Unless she is diverting patriotism that would otherwise go into utopia-building or something.
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I wouldn't even look at it as a practical issue to be honest (although I'd think there'd be more +ves to getting rid of the monarchy than -ves).
It's more of a moral issue of whether it's right to give large sums of money (directly and indirectly) to one particular family for no good reason (no reason they need it I mean). If there are amazing benefits (e.g. to tourism, which I dispute but will accept as a valid argument) then she can buy Buckingham Palace, etc from the state with a sponsorship deal from various hotels or something. I find it mildly sickening that some of the same right wing loonies who object to the benefits system for the needy are the same ones who support lavish luxury for a useless bunch of upper class tossers.
It's just a completely outmoded concept, and the notion if frankly insane (especially when you consider the whole consitiution issue, even if she is just a figurehead) if you think about it for a second. As I've quoted previously, "if I went round saying I should be emperor because some bint threw a scintar at me, they'd lock me up!", etc.
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