I almost shat my pants
Well today I went to the pub to watch the villa game, I then had a curry and a pint at the pub and enjoyed my chiken jalfrezi. Anyway pissed off I left the pub, went to my friends house, left there and went to a bar. Before I went to the bar I went to the toilets in my halls of residence. However they were out of order. So I went to the other public toilets. At this point I could feel my deli belly kicking in, so I was kind of running and staggering to the other toilet. Theres only one cubicle so I was praying that no one was using it otherwise I would shite my pants :/. Finally I made it there, there was no one there, someone up there was praying for me or something.
I got in, and bang, released all of the curry I had eaten 3 hours previously. The smell, the noise, the intensity of it all. I then went to wipe my arse and bang there was no toilet paper. I was kind of worried. I was out with two girls, and I was going to have a few pints etc.
I was sitting there thinking now what. First the idea was I take off my boxers and well try and dry myself up using them. Then I thought that wont do the job plus thats quite dirty. Then I came up with a genius idea. In my wallet I keep all my receipts and betting slips, now the betting slips are what just under A5 I had about 20 of them and preceded to wipe my arse with them. And you know what it did the job, I was dry, clean and as well as that they flushed away so no one will ever no, apart from you GD!
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pig
[ 1u p]
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