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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 17:24   #1
Deepflow
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So i really need to get a job

The basic facts are, that i need money to help pay my way next year at uni, and that therefore i am going to have to have a job over the summer.

Now, it seems that I could well end up working 9-5 at some crap shop all summer, this doesn't exactly appeal to me. I can see it turning me into some crap boring person who goes to bed before midnight every night but friday and saturday and (worst of all) always really looks forward to the weekend because its the only time i can have any "real fun". I do realise that most people have to do this anyway, but I really really really DONT WANT TO It's going to turn me into a shit boring person and whats more, completely ruin my summer.

basically im just being a whiny tit in this thread, and i realise this, but

the other alternative is to give internet poker a go, or some other "scheme", but i currently don't even have the means to start that. BAH! i say.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 17:28   #2
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Re: So i really need to get a job

1. Take pictures of stuff (nice expensive stuff, jewelry, motorcycles, computers, Ty Cobb rookie cards)

2. Move to Albania

3. Do the obvious*

4. Rake in the cash

I say stick with what works.

*Defraud americans through ebay.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 17:33   #3
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Code:
       Hey boy, you wanna get ahead
          You gotta give some head
         Might end up dead instead
     Hey boy, but you can make it right
           So fix your hair alright
        And welcome to the night

            Down on the corner
     You show 'em what you got
 Your body's their little candy store
       They got their eyes on you
      So you gotta keep it hot, so...

        sell your body to the night
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 17:39   #4
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Get a part time job.


Duh.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 17:41   #5
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by *donkie*
Get a part time job.
Should he work as part of a clock, or should he maybe get a parttime job?
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 17:44   #6
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Do shift work, then you can go out after, have a lie in and still get the win.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 17:53   #7
Deepflow
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Re: So i really need to get a job

oh yes, and pig still owes me ten quid, the bastard.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 18:00   #8
Madina
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Sell drugs
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 20:29   #9
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
It's going to turn me into a shit boring person
Going to?














you set yourself up for that, sorry :)
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 20:39   #10
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Re: So i really need to get a job

I managed to work ~50 hour weeks for most of last summer and still managed to be at the pub most every night, albeit marginally more tired than normal. Wasn't all bad.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 20:45   #11
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Exclamation Re: So i really need to get a job

Henry

and

Queers
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 20:46   #12
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Kura posted a site in his thread that might be able to help you Deepflow.

(for people to lazy to look http://www.belm.org.uk/)
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 20:55   #13
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Thinking about how, how the hell does a 9-5 job stop you being able to party?. I'm pretty sure tens of millions of other people manage it, otherwise Friday nights out'd get a little quiet.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 20:59   #14
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Re: So i really need to get a job

**** it I'm having another post because of the stupid here. WHAT THE HELL. Get a job, get some money and blow it on drugs and hookers. 40 hours a week won't kill you, you're free to drink every night (7am starts aren't that bad if you get kicked out the pub at an optimistic 12pm), you'll meet new (and probably sociopathic) people, and you get paid for it. The worst, the absolute worst that could happen is that you end up in some kind of abbatoir and your entire torso gets mangled in the 'lets make beef mince' machine, and if that happens you're so far down shit creek that you'll not be worrying about money any more.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 22:20   #15
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madina
Sell drugs
This actually holds some truth. Don't you know everything about everything?

Of course, now that it's posted on the internett, expect a vistit from the Old Bill anytime
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 22:46   #16
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Rob old women of their pensions.
5 of the parties in our parliment just did that here.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 22:56   #17
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snurx
Of course, now that it's posted on the internett, expect a vistit from the Old Bill anytime
Once they raid the place they can write me a letter of apology for wasting my time and messing my place up.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 23:01   #18
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Rob old women of their pensions. Set up an illegal file-sharing network and advertise. Sell african children to childless white couples. Build a big wall in the middle of your property and declare that the grass really is greener on the other side before selling it off to your neighbours on other side. Pay for plastic surgery to become a shemale and start making freaky porn movies. Turn yourself into nodrog, find out who leroy the nigga really was and offer to get your head kicked in for hard cash. Start begging on the side of the street. Saw off your legs and start begging on the side of the street. Saw off someone else's legs and sell them for money. Steal a saw and sell it to as many people as possible before killing them with it on delivery. Get a fake charity scam going involving helping children overcome stupid diseases with really long names. Stand outside a church with a tin shouting "save the aliens". Announce that you're Jesus Christ returned to earth and demand people surrender their wordly possessions to you. Trade empty boxes with question marks on them for money with really stupid people. Pretend you're an elephant, get into a zoo and sell your excess food. Collect tin cans. Collect tin cans and use them to hit people with before running off with their valuables. Buy up as many stamps of the same kind as you can find, burn them and sell the remainder at profit. Invent a machine that stabs people in the face through the internet. Go back in time and invent the internet. Go back in time and tell yourself to stop being so lazy and figure out a way to make money so that when you return to the future you're rich. Release hordes of badgers onto the streets of london, sell flat, dead badger pelts. Perfect a 100% communicable, 100% deadly airborne disease and sell it as perfume, collect money from the dead. Invent a disease and an antidote, release one and sell the other. Go to Rio and take charge of a gang of children. Train monkeys to rob banks. Run for the prime minister position, then tackle him to the ground and escape with his wallet (woops forget a 's there). Write a ten thousand page science fiction novel and sell it to nerds. Discover a disease which only affects nerds. Sell your underpants pretending they once belonged to a famous celebrity. Sell a famous celebrity pretending they're in your underpants. Become a travelling salesman aged 50 who works on commission. Rename yourself willy loman and sue the estate of arthur miller. Walk around with your knees bent wearing a cloak and pretend you're a dwarf. Join the police force, steal seized drugs and sell them on. Join the police force, steal all the doughnuts and sell them at eight hundred and seventy three thousand two hundred and thirty two times their market value. Discover the difference between butter and I can't believe it's not butter. Turn water into wine. Invent a machine which scratches that impossible to reach area in the small of your back. Figure out what genius made millions off the animation for the little network connection icon in the bottom right hand corner of your screen which does nothing but flash both screens at the same time once every 13.78 seconds, and then steal his identity. Go to Africa and wrestle lions for money. Write an incredibly long list on the internet of things to do for money. Rewrite the bible to include the words mother****ing asshole nine thousand seven hundred and sixty one times and sell it as a novelty item. Lick stamps. Steal the batteries from people's tv remotes. Destroy all cats in the universe and try believing in the feline centric very strong anthropic principle. Deny the existence of money. Deny the taxman his money. Figure out a way to remove the government's exceptionally long metal pole from your ass. Dig up corpses from the graveyard and make the novelty food soylent green. De-evolve into a marmouset.


(Reset for LHC!)
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 23:09   #19
Madina
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Re: So i really need to get a job

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JonnyBGood again.

The effort put into that is worth a pos rep imo.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 23:11   #20
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Re: So i really need to get a job

It was better without the paragraphs though.
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 23:53   #21
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Walk around with your knees bent wearing a cloak and pretend you're a dwarf.
Wonderfull, Jonny, and you will get your rep once I've spread some around.
But I quite fail to see how he could make money by being a dwarf?
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Unread 2 Jun 2005, 23:55   #22
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Re: So i really need to get a job

If that's the only one you can find fault with I seriously pity you.





PS Say he's gimli from lord of the rings, become a professional fighter and make enough money from advertising to quit before he has to actually fight someone.
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Unread 3 Jun 2005, 00:00   #23
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
If that's the only one you can find fault with I seriously pity you.

PS Say he's gimli from lord of the rings, become a professional fighter and make enough money from advertising to quit before he has to actually fight someone.
Good point.
And all the others are well proven methods of making money. I have seen most of them on film....MI:2 anyone...
But bloody good.
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Unread 3 Jun 2005, 00:06   #24
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madina
Once they raid the place they can write me a letter of apology for wasting my time and messing my place up.
Maybe you can make a profit by looking shady and hanging around criminal spots (with a friend and a videocamera). You will most probably get beaten up by cops, at least if you want/try to. Then you can file for damages and get cash!
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Unread 3 Jun 2005, 00:30   #25
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Re: So i really need to get a job

honestly henry.

you look perfectly acceptable.

find rich people and get them to give you money
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Unread 3 Jun 2005, 00:39   #26
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Exclamation Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
honestly henry.

you look perfectly acceptable.

find rich people and get them to give you money
I think I already implied earlier in the thread that he should go on 'the game.'
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Unread 3 Jun 2005, 00:54   #27
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Sorry I didn't read your shitty thread. Nevertheless I think I've got the gist of it.

My current thought process is as follows: If I grow my own veg, fast at least twice, sometimes three to four times, a week, don't go out on nights out it quite possible to survive on little to no cash. I could keep myself entertained via the Internet and books taken out of the library. For instance almost the last hour was spent reading about reflective algorithms on the internet. I could also leave the house sometimes to observe people to keep myself amused, and I mean observe in a non stalkerish sense. I'm looking to save money not get a prison sentence, although some of you will find positive benefits in the latter of the two options.

Yeah I need money too and I'm sick of working in bars. I could teach people the fundamentals of programming, but noone seems to want that. I shall go to the job centre when I realise my loan isn't coming through until at least 2 months after the best part of summer is over.

Also, I've found selling books a good source of income.

All the best, Weeks.

Last edited by Weeks; 3 Jun 2005 at 01:00. Reason: I created the word obverse.
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Unread 3 Jun 2005, 09:28   #28
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snurx
Maybe you can make a profit by looking shady and hanging around criminal spots (with a friend and a videocamera). You will most probably get beaten up by cops, at least if you want/try to. Then you can file for damages and get cash!
I dont wanna get beaten up it hurts.
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Unread 3 Jun 2005, 17:39   #29
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
honestly henry.

you look perfectly acceptable.

find rich people and get them to give you money
will you give me some money please?
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 01:30   #30
Yahwe
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Re: So i really need to get a job

i meant nice/stupid rich people

find widowed old ladies, single old gentlemen.

tell them you are pasionate about your studies, but that you can't possibly carry on without money.

when they start saying "it is so hard for the young nowadays" you've won

(we did it all the time in the 20s)
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 10:00   #31
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Re: So i really need to get a job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
oh yes, and pig still owes me ten quid, the bastard.
the week starting 4th July, ill put in your account, just pm your acc details (name, acc no, sortcode) and Ill add it then, (out of the country now until 4th July.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:48   #32
Deepflow
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Re: So i really need to get a job

no hurry mate, im not starving or anything

and yes yahwe, there could be something in that. On the other hand i could just be lazy and put one of those little adverts in at the back of private eye.
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