New WHO Warning

[Radical Edward]

The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against
non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed
concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS).

Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all
of Western Europe, Canada and Australia, following further outbreaks of
the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of
ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic
parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to
bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits.

A WHO spokesman said, "You'd be much better off going to somewhere like
Taiwan or China, because all you've got to worry about there is SARS, and
let's face it, you're about as likely to die from that as you are to get
kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns."

The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months,
which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only
kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly
affects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least
one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore
considered much more serious.

The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many
high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread
of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for
Western leaders to give the public something to worry about. Otherwise,
they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and
that simply would not do.

To contain the spread of SLOPS, anyone who appears to be exhibiting
symptoms of SLOPS should be dragged into the street by their genitals and
shot.

[Dante Hicks]

That's actually quite good.

[sayonara]

Ohmygod
Ohmygod
Ohmygod

There are zombie nuns????!!!

[Rids]

I've been saying that for weeks.

[menth0l]

You been saying there are zombie nuns for weeks?

Why are you not locked away yet?

[Rids]

Because I only do it in the quiet sanctury of my bedroom !

[ELeeming]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Dr Wakka]

[Snurx]

Good one!

[Deffeh]

[roadrunner_0]

Originally posted by sayonara
Ohmygod
Ohmygod
Ohmygod

There are zombie nuns????!!!

ahahahahahahahahahaha


sheer class


and brilliant first post radical edward

[Dilly_D]

[roadrunner_0]

oh, and for those that are interested, there really are zombie nuns, and they can be found in the film, The Convent, freely available at your local blockbuster, and i thoroughly endorse this film as one of the worst horror films i have ever seen, but you have to laugh at the flying g-strings!

[Embroglio]

Foonee.

[Nodrog]

Originally posted by Radical Edward
The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months,
which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only
kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly
affects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least
one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore
considered much more serious.

Do people actually take statements like this seriously?

[JamMak]

Ehehehe, awesome

[Radical Edward]

Originally posted by Nodrog
Do people actually take statements like this seriously?

I acknowledge that this bit is fundamentally flawed.