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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 03:20   #1
Dace
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I feel ill
well i will on Thursday anyways.

I know that the selfish bastards at work have closed leave for this Friday and i want it off.

I'm off on Wednesday so i've conceived this brilliant plan of getting ill on Thursday and still being "poorly" on Friday.



This of course being the way to a 2 day week and a 5 day weekend.



It cant be too serious an illness (lol aids lol) or it will get checked out.

It also needs to be serious enough to get me off work (so no "cold").

It cant be something that i could catch for real (cause if i do i'll be in shit) ie flu/mumps.

TBH i think food poisoning is my best bet however can that last for 2 days?

Anyways suggest away.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 03:21   #2
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Re: I feel ill
BTW i aint pulled a sickie at this place (i've worked there for 21 months).
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 03:36   #3
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Re: I feel ill
stomach virus? that kinda goes along with your food poisoning...
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 05:53   #4
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Re: I feel ill
there's apparently a flu going around atm that lasts for several weeks on and off, resulting in headaches, dizziness, nausia, etc, etc. a couple of people at my dad's work were sent to hospital 'cus they couldn't stand up without falling over.

if you get it, you were just having a respite and it's come back
not being able to walk without falling over is probably a decent excuse for not making it to work

winner

alternativly, the stomach virus plan above leaves plenty of room for making people disgusted enough not to want to talk about it further :P
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 05:59   #5
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Re: I feel ill
Anal tearing.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 08:39   #6
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Re: I feel ill
claim you were briefly apprehended by the police beause of your posts on this forum. Alternatively alien abduction is the way to go. That way, if your boss or something happens to see you in the street and you look healthy, you can just claim it was a clone that they put in your place to observe humanity.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 08:48   #7
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
BTW i aint pulled a sickie at this place (i've worked there for 21 months).
Then I doubt there'll be a problem. Just say you've got a horrible diarahoea (sp?) problem, and will go to the doctor's on Friday if it's still bad. Obviously it won't be, so you didn't bother going.

Employers usually only get arsey if you try to pull sickies often.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 10:44   #8
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Re: I feel ill
yeah, gastroenteritis (sp?) is the way forward
you were off on wednesday and went for a meal with friends, 2 of you had the chicken, and you and your friend both fell ill until the weekend, and vowed never to go back to that restaurant again (obviously you have to pick a restaraunt to make it convincing this way though)
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 12:20   #9
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Re: I feel ill
yeah, gastroenteritis (sp?) is the way forward
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 15:28   #10
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
yeah, gastroenteritis (sp?) is the way forward
you were off on wednesday and went for a meal with friends, 2 of you had the chicken, and you and your friend both fell ill until the weekend, and vowed never to go back to that restaurant again (obviously you have to pick a restaraunt to make it convincing this way though)
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 15:31   #11
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Re: I feel ill
be careful about blaming a restaurant and faking an alibi like that. If the story is too good, you could find yourself being advised to take the restaurant to court or whatever.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 15:41   #12
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Re: I feel ill
"you did the mussels + beer combo"
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 15:46   #13
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Re: I feel ill
Or more accurately, you did the mussels + pint combo.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 20:52   #14
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apothos
Anal tearing.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 21:18   #15
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Exclamation Re: I feel ill
Sat your tits got ripped off in a revolving door.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 21:31   #16
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Re: I feel ill
Tell em the hairdressers burned your perm and scalp.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 21:38   #17
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Re: I feel ill
I can name you a few restaurants in east london where you can get food poisoning.

Alternatively, there is a rare fruit which will make you suffer from a serious fever if you put it under your armpit for over an hour. I'll tell you when I remember which one.
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 11:56   #18
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Re: I feel ill
say you found some prawns in the back off your fridge and, thinking they were already cooked, ate them
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 13:31   #19
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Re: I feel ill
half price prawn sandwhich from the corner shop
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 13:45   #20
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Re: I feel ill
Well?

Where is the schiving little Scottish deviant?
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 14:24   #21
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Re: I feel ill
He actually got ill.
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 15:24   #22
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
Well?

Where is the schiving little Scottish deviant?
"Skiving"
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 16:03   #23
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Re: I feel ill
He died horrifically from trying to make the anal tearing excuse a reality.

Edit: I have an image which would significantly enhance this post, but this is supposed to be a 'family-friendly' forum, isn't it. Damn.
Last edited by Nondescript Human; 18 Nov 2004 at 16:08.
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 16:06   #24
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Re: I feel ill
He's in the Royal Alexandria Burns unit with 3rd degree burns to this scalp trying to get that perm I suggested.
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 16:36   #25
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nondescript Human
He died horrifically from trying to make the anal tearing excuse a reality.

Edit: I have an image which would significantly enhance this post, but this is supposed to be a 'family-friendly' forum, isn't it. Damn.
It'd be old probably too.
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 16:38   #26
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Exclamation Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nondescript Human
but this is supposed to be a 'family-friendly' forum, isn't it. Damn.
I prefer 'Child-friendly'.
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 16:39   #27
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I prefer 'Child-friendly'.
Not with Dace missing it's not.
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 16:46   #28
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Re: I feel ill
surely with dace missing that means its more child friendly?
although possibly less offers of sweeties and questions about going to see dace's puppies...
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 16:47   #29
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: I feel ill
Depends how you define "friendly."
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 18:20   #30
Dace
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Re: I feel ill
Well what to you know ...



Diarrhea is one of the most common reasons patients seek medical care. In the developed world, it is the most common reason for missing work
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Unread 18 Nov 2004, 19:50   #31
Inferno
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Re: I feel ill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nondescript Human
Edit: I have an image which would significantly enhance this post, but this is supposed to be a 'family-friendly' forum, isn't it. Damn.
Yep. And dont try to bend the rules too.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
i like infernos avatar
Please dont laugh at me. I'm not trying to be funny.
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