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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 08:29   #1
demiGOD
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Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I was on an early evening dinner/date in one of the better Japanese restaurants we have out here in Los Angeles, with this cute brunette I met at a CD store a week before. It was oddly early and it was the only time during that day when we both can get together so coming from work, I didn't have enough time to change and had to keep my Navy Dress Whites uniform on.

After the delicious, quite pricey meal, as we started talking about random topics, I told her I had to go the bathroom real quick. So I went and walked to the urinal and started urinating and suddenly, felt like farting, so naturally, I farted while taking a piss. Now, a lot of you might whisper to yourselves, ..it's OK, it happens to the best of us... but when I was pissing and farting at the same time, I violently sharded *SPLAAAAAT* in my ****ing pants - a very horrific accident that left a big brown shit spot on my crotch area and down to my lower butt area of my white uniform.

Realizing that there is no possible way to clean me up, I started panicking and scrambled out of the restaurant, opened the emergency exit door without knowing it was an emergency exit door, of course the alarm went off all throughout the restaurant and people started looking at me like I'm a ****ing lunatic, got into my car and raced back to my house. I'm pretty sure some folks saw the shit spots behind my pants, but oh well... all I was worried about was to get home as quick as possible so I can clean myself up.

My date called me 10 minutes later on my mobile phone but of course didn't pick up, so she left a message asking me where the hell I was.

An hour later she calls again, and again I didn't pick up so she left a message yelling at the top of her lungs, asking why the **** I left her with the check.

I never saw her again.


How about you guys? Do you have any moments that will match or top off this very embarrasing story of mine?
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 08:40   #2
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Why didn't you get changed and go back?

You could have said you saw someone being mugged out the win and ran after the perp like the hero you are. And your trousers were damaged along the way. Or something.

Last edited by Dante Hicks; 3 Aug 2005 at 08:52.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 11:06   #3
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

That must have been pretty embarrasing for you demiGOD, i have also followed through on my way to a date and had to get the bus home, fortunately it was more of a wet fart then a full on crap in pants scenario but i thought it was only a matter of time before it wet the back of my jeans or made me smell. Never saw the girl again, possibly because i offered no explination of my non attendance.

Also when i left school, after a few jobs here and there i started working in McDonalds (embarasing enough), i had been there for a few months and had made a few friends and things were going well. I had just finnished my shift and was enjoying a fag in the staff room with some of the decent looking girls who also worked there and acting the big man like 17 year olds do then the manager walked into the crew room and asked me if my mom had big purple hair and pink slippers? I said no are you taking the piss and he said well there is a strange looking woman with a purple afro and pink slippers who claims to be your mother at the counter and she is here to pick you up. My mom turned up out of the blue with curlers in and her pink slippers on to give me a lift. It doesn't sound so bad now but at the time it was like my shallow little world was about to end.

There was another incidednt at the same place of work, I was supposed to be on a night shift but the lads had come over for a bit of a playstation day and we were smoking and drinking and i couldnt be bothered going in. I told the lads to be quiet for 5 mins and gave my mom my moblie and told her to phone in sick for me, she rang up and spoke to the manager and told him how ill i was (too ill to phone in for myself ).

When she got off the phone it was back to business we were all half cut so it was a bit noisey and after about half an hour i could hear this beeping noise coming from the table, i went over to investigate and my mom hadn't hung up the phone and it was the timers at work i could hear beeping, i picked it up and said hello and it was my manager on the other end and he just said "thats your final written warning Phil" and hung up.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 11:25   #4
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

what on earth do you guys eat that means you poop yourself when breaking wind ?!?
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 11:31   #5
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by madi
what on earth do you guys eat that means you poop yourself when breaking wind ?!?
Well my diet generaly consists of kebabs, baltis or anything from Farmfoods. Maybe i should address this.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 12:27   #6
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSH
Also when i left school, after a few jobs here and there i started working in McDonalds (embarasing enough)

There is nothing embarrassing about having an honest job.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 13:50   #7
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

i don't think i've shat myself since i was about 8. and as embarrassing as it probably was at the time I don't remember it.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 14:44   #8
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I do not get embarrased very easy.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 15:05   #9
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Exclamation Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 16:03   #10
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

When I was 7 (or 8) my trousers fell down in front of a group of girls. They laughed so much they nearly died. I wish I raped them at that moment.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 16:16   #11
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I wet myself in front of my class when I was about 6. That was pretty embarassing.

I also remember having to do gym class in my (admittedly very classy) y-fronts at the same age.

Tainted for life, I tell you.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 16:33   #12
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I did a shit in my underwear when i was about 7, it was a really hard turd that just rolled out of my arse, it was summer and i had shorts on so i kinda just pooped it out then let it roll onto the classroom floor.


Thats bad enough, the worst thing was the utterly retarted shit for brains obligatory fat ginger kid in the school saw me and ran outside and started shouting it out, so the entire ****ing playground runs up to the classroom windows stick they podgy faces against the glass and have a look.

Im standing there with soiled white y-fronts (my mother ) and a hard lumpy shit at me feet.






Its not the actual incident that haunts me still, its the memory of looking at all those faces looking at me, the expressions are kinda burned into my head.


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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 17:19   #13
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

When I first started flying airplanes I was in a small C152 with a tail # of N4655P.

Well, I kept making radio calls to the tower saying

"This is Cessna 4655 'Popper', inbound."

For any of you who know phonetic alphabet P is actually 'Papa'.

Tower finally got tired of it and said "kid its papa, not popper. Think of it like your dad and not "Pop her."

Quite embarrassing.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 19:07   #14
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Aye when I started flying aeroplanes I accidentally asked a military airbase for airfield information instead of a flight information service. They came back with a load of gibberish I wouldn't understand even now and I proceeded to turn to my instructor and say "Oh well that's good enough". He wasn't impressed. Have also gotten confused about what I was supposed to say and blurted out "shit shit shit" on the radio before. It's very daunting when you first start!

I shat myself last year while I was in argos. Was nasty. Got away with it though - nobody noticed and i made a swift but elusive exit!

The most embarassing thing would probably be when I tried to climb over a chicken wire fence after school back in the day but the fence had no rigidity so it made it very difficult. I snagged the crotch of my trousers and fell over the other side, hanging on the fence by the crotch of my £70 trousers with 3 extremely attractive girls laughing a bit too much for my liking.

There is no real point in stating the embarassing things i have done while drunk because we'll all be here all night if we start with that! Have woken up so many times thinking "What the hell did I do that for?!". That's never good.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 19:11   #15
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HAL-9000
There is no real point in stating the embarassing things i have done while drunk because we'll all be here all night if we start with that! Have woken up so many times thinking "What the hell did I do that for?!". That's never good.
I've woken up a few times and thought 'What the hell did I do her for ?'

Not nice
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 21:00   #16
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaio
I've woken up a few times and thought 'What the hell did I do her for ?'

Not nice
I had that same thought last Sunday morning mate.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 21:04   #17
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Quote:
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I've had sex
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 21:30   #18
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Seriously, how many people here has actually shat themselves after the age of...7?

You REALLY should rethink your diets.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 22:47   #19
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I blame it on their weak sphincters.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 23:07   #20
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I'd ****ed up my arm at the time and so was on some crazy painkillers that basically made my digestive system do its own thing.
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Unread 3 Aug 2005, 23:27   #21
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I remember walkin around this big shop in town when I was about 14, with my family, it was really cold at the time, middle of winter. so I was wearin this big bright yellow puffer jacket (this was like 7 years ago, dont blame me lol) and I was busting to let out a huge fart, but didnt want it to be loud, I spent a few minutes trying to get my dad to leave the store and go to the next,

It didnt work, so I thought "ah fk it, i'll blame someone else if its loud" well I let it out, and it was totally silent.

So I thought "fkin hell, that was lucky" I made a quick gettaway to the other side of the store, and then looked across at like 20 people looking around trying to see who the hell did it, cause it smelt so foul. well you could imagine my responce. I was creasing up laughing and couldnt stop, I could barely breath at the time.

And then this kid who couldnt have been more than 8, looks at how red my face is and how much im laughing and goes "look mummy, its that boy in the yellow jacket" she said it so fkin loud that everyone there stared at me. so I had like 60 people staring at me with looks that made me think they wanted to kill me.
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Unread 4 Aug 2005, 00:45   #22
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

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Unread 4 Aug 2005, 04:47   #23
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Being an attorney, my most embarrasing moments have always come out of the other end though the quality was similar.
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Unread 4 Aug 2005, 04:57   #24
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

After 'getting it on' in a toilet cubicle with someone who was (a) a friend of my brother's, (b) the sister of someone I once counted as my best mate and (c) probably the least attractive person in the least attractive club in Coventry, I was escorted off the premises, snuck back in, involved in a scuffle which led to me being forced back outside and then preached to the bouncers for a short while about how their actions would lead to them enduring an extended break in purgatory. All this on the night of my youngest brother's seventeenth birthday party.

I shouldn't have woken up the following morning, I probably wouldn't have wanted to were I familiar with the above, and I still wonder how (or why) I did.
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Unread 4 Aug 2005, 10:11   #25
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

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I blame it on their weak sphincters.
it must be the gay.
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Unread 4 Aug 2005, 13:13   #26
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I spend my life stumbling from one embarassing moment to the next, there would be too many to list

However, like most I have had my share related to a bit of unsolicited flatulence.

I do recall one time when I was working as a projectionist at the local cinema. In one of the cinemas is a balcony only accessable to the projectionist. It sits overhead the rest of the audience and is deep enough & wide enough that they can't see up there. One night I entered the balcony to watch one of the movies for a while. I had the urgancy to let one rip and let it rip I did, I was expecting the movie to be loud enough mask the sound, especially since the entire room is sound proofed. Somehow it had the inverse effect as my already almighty fart was amplified echoing around the room. It wasn't long before the entire audience burst out laughing at the anonymous call of the mud-duck. They might not have known who did it, but I sure as hell did as I slunk low in the off chance they could actually see me.
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Unread 4 Aug 2005, 22:33   #27
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

i don't remember any of my embarassing moments.. i prolly forget them on purpose, i did however have an ebarassing moment today... i thought i got paid today so i went shopping.. only to discover i had 'insufficient funds' and since my visa's maxed out i couldn't use it as a backup that was embarassing. i get paid tomorrow :\
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 04:35   #28
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

My most embarrasing and painfull memory was when I was growing up in Germany.

The local farmer had just enclosed a field in front of our appartment block using an electric fence, it seemed to appear overnight.

I being brave (or foolish) decided to touch the darn thing to see if it was switched on, fortunately for me it wasnt.

Later on my mates and some local Girls were about and remarked on the fence, showing off I walked up to it an promptly grabbed the top wire (attempting to show how hard I was) half a second later I am on my proverbial 6 feet from the fence feeling like I have had my chest kicked in by a mule.

The TWAT farmer has switched it on ffs!!

for the record I didnt shat my pants (not on that occasion)
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 05:22   #29
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

I cant remember whether i was embarrased or genuinely pleased.

I was on a train first class on the way to cairo in egypt, the whole egyptian food was screwing with my digestive system, but basically as we had stopped this old couple sat behind me and my sister, I was really tired so i decided to recline my chair. For some reason i decided to recline it as fast as possible, as I did i smacked the old woman in the head who was bent over looking into her handbag, after doing that I let one rip and started talkin to my sister, the next thing I knew the old man sat behind my sister was coughing his lungs out and his wife next to him was literally passed out, the fart seriously stunk like raw sewage, but it had the whole carriage coughin for a good 10mins and they seemed to blame the toilet rather than me. was ace
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 08:15   #30
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

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I was on a train first class on the way to cairo in egypt
cairo in wales can be such a disapointment
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 19:18   #31
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alki
I cant remember whether i was embarrased or genuinely pleased.

I was on a train first class on the way to cairo in egypt, the whole egyptian food was screwing with my digestive system, but basically as we had stopped this old couple sat behind me and my sister, I was really tired so i decided to recline my chair. For some reason i decided to recline it as fast as possible, as I did i smacked the old woman in the head who was bent over looking into her handbag, after doing that I let one rip and started talkin to my sister, the next thing I knew the old man sat behind my sister was coughing his lungs out and his wife next to him was literally passed out, the fart seriously stunk like raw sewage, but it had the whole carriage coughin for a good 10mins and they seemed to blame the toilet rather than me. was ace
heh this made me chuckle for a good few mins

can't think of anything to embarrassing apart from when drunk obviously...probably just the usual oh and getting caught jerking off by my mother :|
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 20:50   #32
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alki
I cant remember whether i was embarrased or genuinely pleased.

I was on a train first class on the way to cairo in egypt, the whole egyptian food was screwing with my digestive system, but basically as we had stopped this old couple sat behind me and my sister, I was really tired so i decided to recline my chair. For some reason i decided to recline it as fast as possible, as I did i smacked the old woman in the head who was bent over looking into her handbag, after doing that I let one rip and started talkin to my sister, the next thing I knew the old man sat behind my sister was coughing his lungs out and his wife next to him was literally passed out, the fart seriously stunk like raw sewage, but it had the whole carriage coughin for a good 10mins and they seemed to blame the toilet rather than me. was ace
You shouldn't be eating egyptian pie you know
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 21:17   #33
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

newyears-eve 2000 was embarassing when i vomited over the hand of a friend of mine when he wished me happy newyear. it was right in the middle of a dancefloor in a crowded club.

+20 chickenlivers, 'oilballs' and champagn doesn't go well with beer, i now know.

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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 21:17   #34
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Re: Your most embarrasing moment, EVER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Recon
can't think of anything to embarrassing apart from when drunk obviously...probably just the usual oh and getting caught jerking off my brother :|
i bet that was embarrassing.
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