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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 01:24   #1
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The michael jackson joke thread
ill start

why did michael jackson run to tesco - he heard the boys trousers were half off

knock knock - whos there? - little boy blue - little boy blue who? - little boy blue michael jackson

what do michael jackson and mcdonalds have in common? - 9 year old meat between 40 year old buns.

what do michael jackson and an XBOX have in common? - they both get turned on by little boys.



my favourite is the 2nd
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 01:33   #2
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
i never get ' knock knock' jokes ... or more specifically ... i do get them, but they just aren't funny.
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 01:34   #3
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!


Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!


Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!


Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men? ?
A: He thought it was a delivery service.


Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.


Q: How do we know Michael is guilty?
A: Several children have fingered him.


Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?
A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.


Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael
Jackson?
A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away
from small children. The other is used to hold groceries.


Q. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand.


Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.


Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams
every night?
A. Hanson.


Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.


Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?
A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.


Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Gary Glitter?
A. I'll swap you a 10 for two fives


Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.


Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night. . .
Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight?
Michael: Yeah, ok, can we get Aladdin?
Janet: No, just a pizza and video


Q : What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10
years?
A: Michael Jackson

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound
racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.


Q: What do Michael and homework have in common?
A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids


FBI have raided Michael Jackson's house. . . They found class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his living room and Class 5C in his bedroom.


Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.
The doctor walks in and Michael asks, "Doctor, how long before we can have sex? " "I'd wait until he's at least 14, " the doctor replies.
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 01:38   #4
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
Quote:
Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams
every night?
A. Hanson.
win!
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 09:43   #5
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
Quote:
Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.

win-win
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 11:09   #6
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
So I got this new car radio right - It's really cool, it responds to your voice. All you have to do is say what you want it to play, and it will play it. If I say rock, it will play rock music. If I say jazz, it will play jazz music. But one day, I was driving home from work and these kids ran in front of my car and I had to slam on the brakes. I shouted "****ing kids!!" and the radio played michael jackson :-/
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 15:54   #7
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
This is one of those real jokes

I load my mp3 player from our network, and it also contains Micheal. Seems he covered ´come together´ (listening to it now) and the
Quote:
Originally Posted by The King of Kiddyfiddlers
come together
right now
over mee (yeee-heeeee, aaaauuuuw)
really cracks me up now
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 16:02   #8
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
I hate MJ so much that MJ jokes aggravate me.
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 16:05   #9
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
he's just a smooth criminal.....
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 17:27   #10
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
Michael Jackson has sacked his Chinese lawyer because he's think he's not helping his case. The lawyer, Mr Pok Um Yung, says Michael is overreacting.

Other celebrities are starting to rally round Jacko. The Beckhams' have invited him to take a trip on a yacht with them this summer. Jackson replied, "Sure... I'd love to come on your little Cruz."

a piss poor flash game
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 20:33   #11
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
Some of those are different from the originals such as the big hand little hand one - originally it was "When does Michael's kids know it's time for bed" etc.

Q: Whats the difference between Micheal Jackson and a microwave?
A: A microwave stops when you open the door.

Q: What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a microwave?
A: You can't brown your meat in a microwave.


After Michael Jackson's court trial, the company behind Action Man is going to set Michael on fire and melt him so that little kids can play with him for a change.
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 21:13   #12
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1-X
Other celebrities are starting to rally round Jacko. The Beckhams' have invited him to take a trip on a yacht with them this summer. Jackson replied, "Sure... I'd love to come on your little Cruz."

a piss poor flash game
1-X - you disappoint me, both of these have been posted on here before You're slacking.
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Unread 23 Mar 2005, 21:36   #13
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Re: The michael jackson joke thread
can we pretend I was just reposting them in an appropriate place?
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