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7 Feb 2005, 19:40
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#1
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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making a statement to the police
tomorrow afternoon, the police are coming to my place of work, which, lets not forget here, is a library to take statements from me and one of the other members of staff.
why you ask? because some ****ing evil bastards came in today and attacked one of our customers
in a library fs
bastards
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lazy
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7 Feb 2005, 19:40
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#2
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: making a statement to the police
Make sure you don't ask any questions, and string as much into your one sentence as you can.
'And' is a good word for this purpose, as is 'however'.
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7 Feb 2005, 19:44
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#3
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: making a statement to the police
I've made statements to the police before. It's not a problem.
As you aren't under suspicion of anything they're generally pretty nice and want to get it over with as soon as possible.
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7 Feb 2005, 19:45
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#4
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: making a statement to the police
oh, i know, i have given statements before as well (i was assaulted last year)
it just pisses me off that these people came into my work
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lazy
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7 Feb 2005, 19:45
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#5
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Rawr rawr
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Upside down
Posts: 5,300
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
Make sure you don't ask any questions, and string as much into your one sentence as you can.
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Is there any reason to do this?
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"Yay"
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7 Feb 2005, 19:46
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#6
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
twhy you ask? because some ****ing evil bastards came in today and attacked one of our customers
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How many of the ****ing chavs were there?
Did it appear to be random?
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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7 Feb 2005, 19:50
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#7
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
Is there any reason to do this?
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Otherwise he wouldn't be making a statement.
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7 Feb 2005, 19:53
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#8
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Rawr rawr
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Upside down
Posts: 5,300
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
Otherwise he wouldn't be making a statement.
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Your logic > my logic
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"Yay"
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7 Feb 2005, 20:01
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#9
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: making a statement to the police
can you be vague?
can you say things like 'frankly i wasn't watching' or 'these people all look the same to me'
go on.
for me.
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hi
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8 Feb 2005, 11:15
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#10
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: making a statement to the police
hehehe, not really, as there are 3 members of staff giving statements, and we really should sort of all say about the same thing
but i shall endeavour to try and add a couple of vague lines in, just for you
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lazy
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8 Feb 2005, 11:19
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 278
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Re: making a statement to the police
God, i despise the general population, i cannot understand the mentality of anyone that act's in such a way. Cant we just deport all the lower classes to Greenland and be done with it.
________
Live sex webshows
Last edited by ceres; 31 Aug 2011 at 06:47.
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8 Feb 2005, 11:54
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#12
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TashTastic
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,354
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Re: making a statement to the police
If I was gonna beat someone up, doing it in a library seems quite a good idea. Your hardly going to get stopped by some librarians, stereotypically, your all a bunch of nerdy wimps. (no offence intended roadrunner).
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8 Feb 2005, 12:23
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#13
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SiN HC
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: England
Posts: 217
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Re: making a statement to the police
Depends which library I guess. Where I live there's usually some rather chunky farmers reading bob the builder.
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<InitHello> Gumbie: you are a wise and perceptive man
<Gumbie> hurray!
<Gumbie> about what?
<toot> of course at a cow
<toot> what do you think
<Tearz> I mean... like theres anythign else to do with a bazooka
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8 Feb 2005, 12:28
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#14
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: making a statement to the police
Well it’s the perfect place, who’d ever suspect that they’d get beaten up in a library?!
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I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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8 Feb 2005, 13:03
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 278
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Re: making a statement to the police
Last edited by ceres; 31 Aug 2011 at 06:47.
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8 Feb 2005, 13:05
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#16
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SiN HC
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: England
Posts: 217
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
lessen the likelihood that we'll all be killed in a library book avalanche
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Paranoid?
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<InitHello> Gumbie: you are a wise and perceptive man
<Gumbie> hurray!
<Gumbie> about what?
<toot> of course at a cow
<toot> what do you think
<Tearz> I mean... like theres anythign else to do with a bazooka
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8 Feb 2005, 13:16
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#17
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I am an idiot
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,145
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
why you ask? because some ****ing evil bastards came in today and attacked one of our customers
in a library fs
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Well I hope they did it quietly.
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8 Feb 2005, 13:16
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#18
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by ceres
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Well, quite.
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8 Feb 2005, 13:22
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#19
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: making a statement to the police
I want you to do me a favour.
A QUEST, if you will.
Use the words "shenanigans", "malarchy" and "rapscallions" in your statement. Please.
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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8 Feb 2005, 13:23
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#20
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: making a statement to the police
Ask them bizzare questions about public nudity laws and then excuse yourself to "go to the bathroom" (do the inverted commas in mid air with your hands) and say you'll be back soon when you're feeling more comfortable.
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Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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8 Feb 2005, 13:30
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#21
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Ask them bizzare questions about public nudity laws and then excuse yourself to "go to the bathroom" (do the inverted commas in mid air with your hands) and say you'll be back soon when you're feeling more comfortable.
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Greatest suggestion I've heard in a long time.
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I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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8 Feb 2005, 14:16
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#22
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InSomniac
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Durham, England
Posts: 1,473
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Ask them bizzare questions about public nudity laws and then excuse yourself to "go to the bathroom" (do the inverted commas in mid air with your hands) and say you'll be back soon when you're feeling more comfortable.
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that made me laugh quite loudly at work and i just got glared at
__________________
Runner up in the InSomnia 'Drunkest HC' competition - Currently on the wagon
Elysium | HR | eXilition | OuZo | ND | InSomnia | DLR
db battlegroup founder and spiritual leader
Sexytime HC of Belgians (#s3xytime)
Not so retired anymore....
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8 Feb 2005, 14:34
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#23
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: making a statement to the police
i can safely say that i am going to ingore most of the requests in this thread as likely to get me told off by my boss, which i really cannot be arsed with
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lazy
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8 Feb 2005, 15:49
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#24
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Dirte
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,573
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Re: making a statement to the police
why did the person get beaten up?
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8 Feb 2005, 16:35
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#25
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 278
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Re: making a statement to the police
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snurx
why did the person get beaten up?
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Well, lets just say he will never keep a book beyond its return date again.
________
EricandJustine live
Last edited by ceres; 31 Aug 2011 at 06:47.
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8 Feb 2005, 17:42
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#26
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: making a statement to the police
just taken me an hour and a quater to make the statement, bloody hell
more worryingly though, the policemen taking the statement asked if our work would be willing to relocate us in case of trouble
that my friends falls into the category of very very not good
__________________
lazy
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8 Feb 2005, 17:46
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#27
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 278
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Re: making a statement to the police
The murky world of the Library mafia reveals it's vicious face once again.
________
condos in Wong Amat
Last edited by ceres; 31 Aug 2011 at 06:47.
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