****ing chavs

[Phang]

What fun it is to live in pleasant middle-class suburbia.

Gang of chavs, pissed off their heads, outside the chippy I have to walk past from the bus every evening. Nothing new there. Normally, however, I only get the standard barrage of random verbal abuse. Today, one of the ****ers ran at me with a bottle after I walked past. Happily, I was fairly alert and the guy was running in front of a streetlight - saw the silhouette, turned, saw the drunk ****er, ducked from the swing, used the good old-fashioned 'punch in the face, kick in the bollocks, punch in the face again' routine. Other chavs looking pretty angry but not doing anything, so I just left it and went home.

So the question: Why is David Blunkett so convinced that ID cards will prevent crime? Surely authorising lethal force against people with hoods over their caps would be far more effective.

[NEWSBOT3]

i agree

[xtrasyn]

WTF is a chav and why do you have to go out and annoy decent people like you obviously do

[Demon Dave]

they should make it law: all chavs to be shot on sight

[SilverSmoke]

Originally Posted by xtrasyn

WTF is a chav and why do you have to go out and annoy decent people like you obviously do

Somehow I think you can compare chavs with our 'kampers' . You should know for being an old citizen of Dordrecht.

[JC]

A similar thing happened to me about a year and a half ago. I was walking through the local park to the video store getting a load of verbal abuse from the local chavs (about 10 or so), which i ignored. The one of them decided to run after me and give me a kidney punch while i had my back turned. I turned round floored him with 1 punch and then legged it to the video store while his chav mates started to come after me.

All the fun that goes with living in chav central.

[higginz]

chavs are the scum of the earth " i wanna be a gangster but not hard enough" dickheads that u find in towns

www.chavscum.co.uk

try that site

chav = townie, scally, beaner

basically scum

[SilverSmoke]

If this story is based on reality my respect for Phang has grown a bit.

[Marilyn Manson]

I presume you bottled him whilst he was laying on the ground?

[The Real Arfy]

It most likely is. Driving home the other night, I saw a group of about 30 facing in one direction... and another standing head on to them. Turned around to inspect it from the left side of the road :P and they were all on the floor kicking the crap out of eachother.

Now, I'm not saying this is bad, since half will die and the other half chucked in prison, but had I not been driving, I would have had to walk through it

P.S. Own experience: bottle thrown at me across the street, missed by miles though, they are very intimidating creatures

[Phang]

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I presume you bottled him whilst he was laying on the ground?

no. he was holding his nose and trying not to throw up; i felt he'd had enough. besides, he dropped the bottle when i hit him. i could have sharded him i suppose.

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Phang

no. he was holding his nose and trying not to throw up; i felt he'd had enough. besides, he dropped the bottle when i hit him.

I suppose having been beaten up and roundly humilitated in front of his 'posse' he had suffered enough for being such an unutterable coward.

[Kurashima]

i want someone to just wander the street, be abused by a chav gang, drop a pair of 8 inch blades from their coats into their hands and wade in Wolverine-style.

*schnikity-schnik*

(Ive clearly watched Mallrats too many times this week)

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Kurashima

i want someone to just wander the street, be abused by a chav gang, drop a pair of 8 inch blades from their coats into their hands and wade in Wolverine-style.

Preferably Emily from Coronation Street.

[DMZ]

Originally Posted by higginz

www.chavscum.co.uk

Well, that's my fapping material sorted for the next week.

[Vaio]

Originally Posted by Phang

So the question: Why is David Blunkett so convinced that ID cards will prevent crime? Surely authorising lethal force against people with hoods over their caps would be far more effective.

Their parents should be sterilised to prevent more of the little f'kers. Although finding the fathers could be tricky

~Vaio~

[skiddy]

Last time a charve ran at me, having just dismounted his cycle - with a bottle, he smashed me in the face with it, breaking my nose, chipping my tooth and leaving my lip requiring 16 sitiches.

That was Christmas night two years ago. His mate cycled off quite quicky when he realised how much damage an annoyed drunk person can do to a lowly charve with a mountain bike and some carefully aimed jabs with the rear tire to the attackers throat.

I've still got the mountain bike. I know little about these adventure sporting goods, but according to friends it's quite a decent one. Never used it yet though.

[lokken]

surely ****ing a chav would involve some kind of burberry knobgear

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by lokken

surely ****ing a chav would involve some kind of burberry knobgear

It doesn't even bear thinking about. Really.

[Sunday8pm]

There's a white van disguised as a pizza delivery van performing survellience on the recently reposessed house across the road.

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Sunday8pm

There's a white van disguised as a pizza delivery van performing survellience on the recently reposessed house across the road.

Is it being driven by Elvis, with Glenn Miller in the passanger seat, and JFK in the back monitoring the equipment?

[Sunday8pm]

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Is it being driven by Elvis, with Glenn Miller in the passanger seat, and JFK in the back monitoring the equipment?

No, we went to read the notices posted in the windows of the house, and on the way back to our house, the van stopped in front of us (after patrolling the road twice) asking if we needed any help?

What kind of pizza delivery service does that I ask you?

That said the previous tenants looked like distant relatives of Hutt's and had definately more than 12-16 people coming in and out of their door on a regular sort of basis.

[JBOY]

When did the good old fashioned term 'Ned', or 'townie' go out of fashion?

[MrL_JaKiri]

Because this isn't scotland, and townie leads to misinterpretation!

[roadrunner_0]

we still call them townies occationally

[KoeN]

scotland: neds
england: chavs
holland: campers

they're all the same, just got different names. right?

[roadrunner_0]

yeah, basically

[Sarina_Joy]

Yay! My Chav baby will be called Britney Whitney Stewart if it's a girl, and Storm Tyson Stewart if it's a boy \o/

[Blastoderm]

Once upon a time, well only a couple of weeks ago, The Sun were doing a "Proud To Be A Chav" thing and they showed celebrities wearing chav clothes and stuff such as Charlotte Church, Jordan and Catherine Zeta Jones.

[Starbucks]

Originally Posted by Blastoderm

Catherine Zeta Jones.

Really? I do not see her handing around the bus station drinking cider

[Phang]

Originally Posted by Starbucks

Really? I do not see her handing around the bus station drinking cider

personally i'd be rather amused if she did :/

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Blastoderm

Once upon a time, well only a couple of weeks ago, The Sun were doing a "Proud To Be A Chav"

Only the staff of the Sun could be proud to be scum.

[Phang]

development!

walking home from bus today, same drunk wanker came up behind me on a bike with a piece of wood of some kind. i tried to get out of the way, so instead of getting me in the head he got me in the shoulder (WHICH ****ING HURTS, let it be quite clear.) But fear not, for your intrepid hero got the upper hand once more!

Roughly like this. I kick him off the bike, because he'd stopped when he nearly missed me. He goes down, I pick up the bike and swing it into his face/torso, kick him a few times. Made the ****er bleed, which I found sufficient. Spewed some semi-menacing crap telling him to leave me the hell alone, kicked him again for good measure, then got the powerup, won the game and went home. Hooray for me, although my shoulder ****ING HURTS

[Ste]

you live in a shit area
was it related to fridays incident at all?

[Phang]

Originally Posted by Ste

you live in a shit area
was it related to fridays incident at all?

i tend to suspect so.

as for the area, it SHOULD be quite nice.

however, it has chavs in it, which means it is not.

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Phang

same drunk wanker came up behind me

[roadrunner_0]

from experience: it will escalate until either you get the kicking of your life or you get a couple of friends together and scare the shit out of them.

for the record, the chavs from the local council estate wont come near me anymoore after i broke the arm of the last one to punch me (in front of 5 of his mates )
curiously though, the worst chavs are those that come from the slightly richer area, and im getting one of them done for assault, after he hit me with a bit of wood with some nails through and nearly did me a serious injury :/

[Phang]

Originally Posted by roadrunner_0

curiously though, the worst chavs are those that come from the slightly richer area

bingo.

guy seemed pretty ****ing scared though. i think i broke his nose, so either there'll be a lot of them next time or he'll take the telling.

[roadrunner_0]

yeah, thats the kind of thing that you have to do, it gets to the point where you have to just go for it and give one of the little ****ers a kicking, it works out better than you getting a kicking at least

[Ste]

Ahh, I read same as some

[vampire_lestat]

i want to give a chav a kicking, but have never got an oppertunity. I'm sure there's a market for a buisness setting up fights with wounded chavs

[Dante Hicks]

I'm kind of glad I live in Lambeth. Despite having more shootings than most places, we don't really get proper chavs. If little piss-ant fake burberry cap wearing types went round starting fights at bus-stops they might get shot by some random psychotic yardie.

[Blastoderm]

I'm kind of glad I live in Hackney. Despite having more shootings than most places including Lambeth, we don't really get proper chavs. If little piss-ant fake burberry cap wearing types went round starting fights at bus-stops they might get shot by some random psychotic yardie.

P.S. I couldn't be bothered to write it up in my own words. Just nicked it and changed it to my area.

[Ste]

I'm sad I sometimes live in Nottingham. Despite having more shootings than most places including Lambeth and Hackney, the chavs have guns and have shootouts with psychotic yardies at bus-stops

[roadrunner_0]

Originally Posted by Ste

I'm sad I sometimes live in Nottingham. Despite having more shootings than most places including Lambeth and Hackney, the chavs have guns and have shootouts with psychotic yardies at bus-stops

hehehehe

GD really is coming up with the comedy gold this morning

[Deepflow]

chav is a terrible terrible word imo, i never heard it before the media used it. And now everyone does instead of the local alternatives, its sad

"scally" is my favourite i think.

We don't get that many chavs round here in manchester, i like to think thats because of the huge amount of students though. Sadly, back down in suburban south lahndahn you cant move for the little subnormal ****ers.

hey ho

[midge5]

You lot are managing to make the valleys sound civilised.

[Androme]

I found the page of someone featured on chav of the week or something like that off some site presented here

http://www.face-pic.com/chavvy_bitch_innit_hehe

[Embroglio]

Body: Slim

there's really little point in lying when there's a photo there

[Blastoderm]

Originally Posted by Androme2

I found the page of someone featured on chav of the week or something like that off some site presented here

http://www.face-pic.com/chavvy_bitch_innit_hehe

If she wasn't a chav, I'd shag her.

Then again, I wonder what's it like to shag a chav...