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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 00:55   #1
Deepflow
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Girls (or "a girl") [E/N]

Well, i've said i would do this thread after the apparent "accidental sex"... so i will now

But first, some background... I worked at a druggie detox centre in my gap year, i made a lot of friends there, two of them being A and B. A is a 30 something lady who pretty much fancied me like mad (I didnt even realise this until after i left and was told by lots of other people, oh naive me ). Anyway, she was always really nice to me, and now she doesnt fancy me any more (\o/, because i dont fancy her at all) and is with a lovely man whom it looks like she will settle down and have babies with.

Anyway, about 2 years ago, B and I (P.S B (25) is LOVELY and damn fit too, who just happens to be A's sister) snogged. A found out and was really pissed off at B, understandably, i suppose. Then 1 year ago we shagged, and A found out again and B caught hell.

on monday we shagged again, and wednesday, and saturday... almost certainly tomorrow too, should all go well. Now, from my perspective this is all pretty cool, on the surface at least; however, B doesnt want to tell A, which is probably fair enough. One thing that makes it more complicated is the fact that B lives above where A works and A keeps coming up and doing us breakfast thinking we have been innocent (well thats the only reasonable explanation i can think of).

I'm not sure i have made clearer earlier in this thread quite how fond i am of both of these ladies, they are bot great friends and great people. I can spend an evening with one of them and not get bored (which is a BIG thing for me) at any point.

The "problem" is that the thing with B is fast turning into a relationship, rather than just sex. This is problematic for a number of reasons, one of them being A, but others being that B tends to leave her ex boyfriends crushed in a heap on the ground going "WHY? WHHHY??", and i would rather not be the next one. It does however, seem that i cannot stop, and i don't really want to. My attitude thus far has pretty much been "see what happens and go with it, it will be fun", and it still is. Nevertheless, worries pile up.

Then again, it also looks like if it DOES turn into a relationship it will be a secret one, which is never good.

oh well, just E/Ning on GD, you lucky people

P.S women don't make sense

P.P.S Does anyone else ever get the same feeling i have been having when stuff like this happens? That everything else in life is easily controlled to some extent but in matters of the <3 you are just ****ed and doomed to wheel madly in fates whirlpool?

P.P.P.S My penis hurts.
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Last edited by Deepflow; 19 Jul 2005 at 02:09.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 00:58   #2
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
I worked at a druggie detox centre in my gap year,
and people say my thread was ironic ...
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 01:00   #3
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
see what happens and go with it, it will be fun
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 01:03   #4
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
and people say my thread was ironic ...
a heroin detox centre to be exact, which i have never taken. So not particularly ironic, no.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 01:06   #5
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
I worked at a druggie detox centre in my gap year, i made a lot of friends there, two of them being A and B.
Were they clients, or did they work there?!?
Quote:
P.S women don't make sense
Amen. Ive given up
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 02:51   #6
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

its not really a huge problem, no problems involving sex really ever are. This is all just discussing whether youd like icing or cream on top of your cake.

If you want an answer, the simple truth is A needs to get over herself and get her attitude sorted out. What "claim" does she have over you if nothing ever happened between you, and never will? As for "what now", well you said yourself "im just seeing how its going". If its going to a relationship, then its going to a relationship

tada
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 03:13   #7
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
its not really a huge problem, no problems involving sex really ever are. This is all just discussing whether youd like icing or cream on top of your cake.

If you want an answer, the simple truth is A needs to get over herself and get her attitude sorted out. What "claim" does she have over you if nothing ever happened between you, and never will? As for "what now", well you said yourself "im just seeing how its going". If its going to a relationship, then its going to a relationship

tada
see, thats pretty much what i think, but from nicky's (B's) perspective its not quite the same, seeing as A is her sister.

also, A is a really really good friend of mine. To be honest, i dont think she actually cares (or at least i hope not) but nicky thinks she does, and im not about to risk telling her randomly and screwing everything up.

still, I agree with your "let stuff happen" theory
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 04:51   #8
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

At this point you are willing to risk your relationship with two friends for sex. That is fine but be clear that is what you are doing and are willing to lose them both.

If you think there really might be a relationship going on then A is going to have to know at some point.

You are afraid that B is a ball breaker and could smash the little fellows at the end of a relationship.

B doesn't want to tell her sister because she thinks sis will get upset and it will disturb her relationship with her sister. Or, possibly, the illicit nature of the relationship makes this just a whole lot more spicy.

You probably need to talk to A and B about the situation if you want more than just sex.

The question is in which order. Probably B first. Tell her that you don't want to hurt her sister by hiding your relationship from A. Tell her that you would like to talkt to A about here feelings about you and B having a relationship. Not giving her details about the relationship up to this point but just that you think that there is a possibility that you would like to explore with her sister. If she reacts negatively to it then you have the situation defined for you. Friendship with two women or sex and possible relationship with one. If she responds well to it then the only question is B up for more than sex.

The one thing that seems certain is that if A finds out about the relationship and that you have been keeping it from her she will probably feel that this is some sort of betrayal whether it is or not. Also, if you talk to A without discussing it with B first and A reacts badly, B will probably feel betrayed whether or not she should and that's probably the end of the sex and maybe the friendship.

You have a thorny problem my friend. The earlier you try to resolve the situation, probably, the better off you will be.

Good luck.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 07:05   #9
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Re: Girls (or "a girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
P.P.S Does anyone else ever get the same feeling i have been having when stuff like this happens? That everything else in life is easily controlled to some extent but in matters of the <3 you are just ****ed and doomed to wheel madly in fates whirlpool?

Yeah, untill you wake up and discover you're the most important person on earth. (Don't mean to sound like a jerk)


If I where you I would go for a quick one on one talk with Lady A and explain her you got feelings for B. Take control of the situation yourself instead of the other way around.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 07:56   #10
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Re: Girls (or "a girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
P.S women don't make sense
and men do?
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 08:53   #11
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Re: Girls (or "a girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
(Don't mean to sound like a jerk)

no one ever assumes you are actually trying
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 09:36   #12
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Or you hide behind your etiquetes or you hide behind the plural form in your pathetic little flames.


You're just another weakling to me.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 09:58   #13
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Re: Girls (or "a girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
P.P.P.S My penis hurts.

i just took a drink of water before i read that, it nearly went all over my computer screen

bastard.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 10:04   #14
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Get really offended by A one time (the best time is when she announces she is pregnant) and make a massive scene about "how could you do this to me?". Then when she says "What? We're not even together, and never were!", say "Yeah exactly bitch", and shag B in front of her.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 10:11   #15
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Re: Girls (or "a girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow

P.S women don't make sense

P.P.S Does anyone else ever get the same feeling i have been having when stuff like this happens? That everything else in life is easily controlled to some extent but in matters of the <3 you are just ****ed and doomed to wheel madly in fates whirlpool?

P.P.P.S My penis hurts.

Ive often thought that in terms of <3 everyone is pretty much ****ed and its left upto the Gods. Your not the first person to notice this.

You can approach your problem in 1 of 2 ways :


The First "Man" Way :

Your a man. Stop acting like a pussy and **** her until your content and to hell with everyone else. If the other woman doesnt like it....tough shit. Your getting the sex you want. If she was a true friend shed understand that your needs are important too. Men dont understand things like 'friendship between girls and how boys **** that up' so just pretend you hadnt got a clue. And you said girl A had found a bloke now anyway so whats the problem?


The Second "Feelings and Emotions" way.


Do what DDA said.






peace out dude.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 10:39   #16
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

girl A will always fancy you
girl B feels guilty but not guilty enough to keep her pants on

solution =

tell girl A that you are really into her sister over a coffee and cake 'arent we really good mates' moment

if you lie now you are making an issue of it
and are sure of a horrible moment or two in the future

m
x
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 10:57   #17
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

I've always preferred the honest approach in this sort of situation. However, I do have a problem of being overly honest with women, which has led to a few problems of my own, so you might not want to be too honest.

Just lay it on the line 'look luv, I'm humping your sister, I think shes really great, blah blah blah, but I value your friendship and I dont want you to feel out of place'

or if you want real man points, ask for a threesome.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 11:55   #18
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

if you are staying over, and "A" knows you are, and is coming up making breakfast, then she knows. Technically, "A" doesn't care, it seems is if you only know about the side that "B" told you about "A", so you probably don't know if "A" cares at all. Your a man as someone said, and you already won as you had sex with "B" multiple times and obviously she liked it, whatever happens next so what. Sure, be her boyfriend for a bit. you'll get blow jobs as soon as you come in from the gym, she will cook and wash your under wear, When she dumps you, just politley bow out, as you knew she had the tendency tgo do such, and you allowed yourself NOT to catch strong feelings. Girls leave men sometimes when they are coming on to strong. Act the same as you are now, and she will never go anywhere until you tell her.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 16:07   #19
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

there seems to be a lot of love on GD at the moment
People too busy having a good time to post...

anyway dude, just make sure you're happy
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yeh so Plastic Brilliance is now known as FOXYSTOAT - Come on by and check it out!
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 16:09   #20
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Keep taking drugs until you suffer brain damage and then you won't worry about it.

Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 19 Jul 2005 at 16:53.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 16:51   #21
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Keep taking drugs until you suffer brain damage and the you won't have worry about it.
Right. Have you ever noticed how happy stupid people are? I've made it a goal this summer to take enough drugs that I'm no longer capable of realizing that I'm miserable.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 17:55   #22
Deepflow
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

well, i just phoned B and im going round tonight...

thanks for all the advice etc, but im fairly sure im just going to "go with the flow" until things become a bit clearer, one way or the other. It's fun
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 19:08   #23
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
At this point you are willing to risk your relationship with two friends for sex. That is fine but be clear that is what you are doing and are willing to lose them both.
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 13:25   #24
Deepflow
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

oh stop being so darned reasonable
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 13:32   #25
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Go with the flow.

Whatever happens, you'll come out of it with a story to tell.
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 17:06   #26
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Re: Girls (or "a girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
P.P.P.S My penis hurts.
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Quote:
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Quote:
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 19:13   #27
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Re: Girls (or "a girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by QazokRouge5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
P.P.P.S My penis hurts
It doesnt any more

\o/ \o/ \o/
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 19:16   #28
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

What does \o/ mean? It looks vaguely pornographic.
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 19:23   #29
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

it means "yay", its a little man throwing his arms up in the air.

oh btw, your advice does seem very good, seriously, it just seems highly unlikely that i will follow it
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 19:25   #30
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

It looks more like a woman throwing her legs in the air.
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 19:31   #31
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
It looks more like a woman throwing her legs in the air.
only after having 72 children.
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Unread 21 Jul 2005, 02:21   #32
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
You probably need to talk to A and B about the situation if you want more than just sex.

The question is in which order. Probably B first. Tell her that you don't want to hurt her sister by hiding your relationship from A. Tell her that you would like to talkt to A about here feelings about you and B having a relationship. Not giving her details about the relationship up to this point but just that you think that there is a possibility that you would like to explore with her sister. If she reacts negatively to it then you have the situation defined for you. Friendship with two women or sex and possible relationship with one. If she responds well to it then the only question is B up for more than sex.

The one thing that seems certain is that if A finds out about the relationship and that you have been keeping it from her she will probably feel that this is some sort of betrayal whether it is or not. Also, if you talk to A without discussing it with B first and A reacts badly, B will probably feel betrayed whether or not she should and that's probably the end of the sex and maybe the friendship.
Best advice in the thread. Go for it!
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Unread 21 Jul 2005, 03:49   #33
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Re: Girls (or "A girl") [E/N]

My advice is never tell either you post on GD on a regular basis.
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