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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 13:46   #1
xtrasyn
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Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

¡Aiii, tio, aiiiii!

Yesterday after work I went to see a new customer, a real estate development company who requiered my services. I did not expect too much of it really because most of my clients are like, clients. Normal boring everyday people. So I packed my portfolio and all other kit and after my day job I went there.

So, I drove to Mijas and parked my car. I had already spoken to the boss of this office over the phone, he told me where to park best and said his assistant would take me in and explain what they wanted.

As I arrived at this parking venue I noticed a girl sitting in an office. Now, this IS something strange. I have been with my girlfriend for four years now, and there has been only one who left me in doubt.

Anyway, I parked my car, got out, walked to the entrance and pushed the doorbell. When the door opened there was a face as delicate and beutiful as I have never (ever) seen in my entire life. It was like the Mona Lisa grew legs and put contemporary clothes on that accentuated her one hundred percent fit body. Her eyes were brown with green clouds in it - and even better- she smiled at me!

"Hello, you must be Tom, right?" said her voice in perfect queens´ English.

I opened my mouth, but I felt like my ´yes´ would be the most stupid answer in the world at this time to say to this woman.

"Great, come in," she said, "I can´t wait to see what you have to offer."

Ofcourse, I blew whatever it was I came to do, mainly because I kept forgetting what it was that I was supposed to do there. But we had a good time. We talked, she took me to my car, we talked more, she kept hanging around, I did not want to get in the car, well, you know what it goes like... She told me she was half Spanish, half English, I said that her looks had not suffered from it. I assured her that she could call me any time on any matter.

I drove home and could not forget her. And also, I was very aware that I was probably suffering from strong delusions. I took a cold shower and tried to forget.

This morning at ten, my mobile rang. "Goodmorning Tom, how are you? Am I not calling too early?" I heard her say - IT WAS HER!!!112
I said something in the equivalent of ´hmblfxztfnl´ and she continued that she ´had been thinking about my propositions and material and that she really wanted to look at it all again´. If I could come down asap please.

Now. I´m the straight kind of man. I´m not going to fool around muchly. But I now have a problem. What should I do? Leave my girlfriend for her? Or just take cold showers, send an invoice by fax and keep it like that?
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 13:49   #2
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

You'll regret bonking her more long term. Let it be, brother.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 13:53   #3
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

go for it.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 13:55   #4
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Ask yourself whether she's worth throwing away the past four years with the other girl over, and you have your answer
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 14:03   #5
xtrasyn
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
Ask yourself whether she's worth throwing away the past four years with the other girl over, and you have your answer
That sounds quite easy if you say it fast.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 14:06   #6
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Whatever you do, don't go dumping your gf based only on one business meeting and a phone call that could be only business related... I'd say cold showers for now, until you can see more clearly what you want.

-Zaps
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 14:06   #7
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

I always though you where the correct type of relationship guy dude





















go for it, all women are evil and will **** you up nevertheless sooner or later
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 14:27   #8
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Knob her but stay with your missus.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 14:34   #9
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Maybe she's one of these relationship tester people your misus has hired?

TRUST NO-ONE*


















*even us.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 14:53   #10
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rids
Knob her but stay with your missus.
win
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:02   #11
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue
um ask her if she wants to go for a drink?

Also Spanish girls are always amazing and demure, i've met a few and every time it's like "er..berhumble, smish yam tidray...sorry er hi"
Aye it´s that kind of gurrrl allright.

It´s not that I´m scared of intimacy; I´m just ´swept off my feet´...
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:02   #12
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

When women are getting tired of a relationship they start a new one before the leave the old one*.

Be like a woman.

Test new waters before "diving in".










*apparantly
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:05   #13
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

oh yes, but make 100% sure this other girl is interested in you before you do anything, cos yknow, women dont make any sense.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:13   #14
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

depends n whethr yu think yur relationship wih your gf has gone stale.

Also do not forget she will be your boss - sex could complicate your revenue or a worst if she starts to get pissy might result in no work.

Keep it professional
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:25   #15
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction, talk to the woman and you will find that you have nothing in common.

(It's on one of these beer napkins)
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:26   #16
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Exclamation Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

I have always frowned upon that. Mainly because Dace´s statement is true (don´t make a habit out of it Dacey, for the love of god, please!) and this happened to me once or twice.

I would not want to hurt my darling GF! Yet, I badly want the foxy lady I met yesterday in various ways.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:30   #17
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

I hope your gf doens't read these forums!
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:36   #18
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Just do her.

And if your gf finds out, tell her it was to secure the contract, and you were planning on buying her expensive jewelry with the earnings.

She can't blame you then.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:37   #19
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by IncubusGod
I hope your gf doens't read these forums!
In the past five years I have not met anyone who frowns more upon anything PA related than my gf.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:42   #20
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

this wouldnt exactly change her opinion of it would it?
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:48   #21
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

i dunno - he could sate he meets lots of hot chick through pa and has NEVER hought about sex with them.

Then again that is pretty unbelievable :/
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 15:58   #22
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by xtrasyn
Mainly because Dace´s statement is true (don´t make a habit out of it Dacey, for the love of god, please!)


I am correct on a large number of occassions.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:03   #23
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by xtrasyn
I have always frowned upon that. Mainly because Dace´s statement is true (don´t make a habit out of it Dacey, for the love of god, please!) and this happened to me once or twice.

I would not want to hurt my darling GF! Yet, I badly want the foxy lady I met yesterday in various ways.
clearly the solution is to ask your girlfriend if she's into threesomes.

(by the time you've built up the courage to ask, the hot chick will probably be out of your life for good, making the point moot and saving the day. this is the technique that saves your relationship without burying your penis in the backyard)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SbOlly
Just do her.

And if your gf finds out, tell her it was to secure the contract, and you were planning on buying her expensive jewelry with the earnings.

She can't blame you then.
And what of my wife and mistress
(and all my other flings)
who only ever touch me 'cause
I give them shiny things?

(verse fourish of that 'where will i get my lapdances' poem)
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:08   #24
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Please post the rest of said poem.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:15   #25
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Please post the rest of said poem.
I had warned that gayness was inside. I did not say "show off your gayness here".
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:16   #26
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Please post the rest of said poem.
oi. it's incompletish. i'll grab what i have.

Where will I get my lapdances,
When the people take the world,
Where will I get my lapdances
When Marx' grand triumph's unfurled?

Will the hookers, whores and harlots,
Who've been so good to me
Disappear once given
This damned egality?

And what of my wife and mistress
(and all my other flings)
Who only ever touch me 'cause
I give them shiny things?

And when my maids no longer fear
My threat of deportations,
Will this bring about an end for me
Of sexual relations?

You say on this day of triumph
Our fears will be allayed
But all I need are lapdances,
And all I want is laid.

Still working on the ending, else it would have been plopped in the poetry thread.

Last edited by acropolis; 15 Jul 2004 at 16:24.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:24   #27
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness insid

Quote:
Originally Posted by IncubusGod
Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction, talk to the woman and you will find that you have nothing in common.
physical attraction isnt based purely on looks, that's a bit misleading.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:26   #28
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by xtrasyn
I had warned that gayness was inside. I did not say "show off your gayness here".


OHHHHH but you did.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:27   #29
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
Still working on the ending, else it would have been plopped in the poetry thread.


You write that yourself?

If so :cool:

:TWOTHUMBSUP:
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:29   #30
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
You write that yourself?

If so

:TWOTHUMBSUP:
i google shit i don't trust.

sometimes i feel stupid two posts later when they say 'this was taken from a chain email i got this morning'

but hey.

Anyway, it's quite clearly based on the 'Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph' or whatever i called it thread

but thanks for the thumbs
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 16:30   #31
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Don't underestimate the benifits of having a gf. If you try for this girl and loose em both, then you'll be as girl-less as the rest of us.

And that's bad
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 17:06   #32
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by IncubusGod
Don't underestimate the benifits of having a gf. If you try for this girl and loose em both, then you'll be as girl-less as the rest of us.

And that's bad
I can find another GF, I think.

I´m confident, successful and goodlooking, unlike all of you.

[/joke]
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 17:18   #33
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

If you've been with your girlfriend for 4 years and you're really interested in someone else I'd talk to your girlfriend about why you're suddenly (or maybe not so suddenly) questioning what you have with her and whether or not it's worth holding onto. If you guys are really close this shouldn't be a bad discussion. Just tell her that you're having second thoughts about staying with her - I mean after 4 years you should know whether or not this is someone you want to be with forever and if not I say move on. I wouldn't stay in a relationship for that long unless I knew it was going somewhere longer-term...

You could end up with this Spanish Fly and realize that you threw something really special away and maybe then you could grovel and get your old girl back but you might not even get off with Spanish Fly and then you just look like an idiot to both women.

Good luck!
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lolly roffle
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 17:34   #34
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

It's totally up to you, but depending on emphasis and speed whilst saying the following, my answer works either way.

**** her.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 17:44   #35
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Most of us do it, if your gf of 4 years is too prudish, **** her.

Why should you be the last to find out that the bad rep behind sexual promiscuity is just there to make sure we keep the uptight ****s out of our swinging parties.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 17:46   #36
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

swing like a monkey baby

YEAH
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 17:53   #37
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Yeah, you pretty much got to go with it. Don't speak to your girlfriend about it, that's insanity.

See if you can get away with it.

As life goes on you'll be offered less opportunities like this (unless you're rich). You'll have plenty of time to be old boring and settled when you're 50. Hot chicks probably aren't going to be around then.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 22:13   #38
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

OMFG.

I stick with Ragebabe for now; if we can not talk this out then - well then it's a whole different ballgame.

Seeing-if is nonsense, it's not my gf knowing it that bothers me the most, it would simply feel shit for myself.

Someone asked me if I was under a lot of stress lately, if so, this could well be a way for my psyche to look for ways out. Maybe all the fuss about getting intimate with someone else may be a way to look for a different life.

Also it's not like my current gf is only-so-so when it comes to looks. My gf is a very hot blonde babe, and the girl I suddenly am infatuated with is a very hot darkhaired babe.

Anyway, nomatter what - I just HAVE to see her again...
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 22:43   #39
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Quote:
Originally Posted by xtrasyn
OMFG.

I stick with Ragebabe for now; if we can not talk this out then - well then it's a whole different ballgame.

Seeing-if is nonsense, it's not my gf knowing it that bothers me the most, it would simply feel shit for myself.


Point 1: You're crazy for following ANY advice Ragey gives.

Point 2: You're particularly crazy if you intend on taking this advice.

Point 3: If you do as you say you will your gf will cast it up to you for all time and will be suspicious of you for the rest of eternity.
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Unread 15 Jul 2004, 22:59   #40
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Dace has a point.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 00:13   #41
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

Dace is indeed correct.

No good can EVER come of a conversation with a woman which begins "So yeah honey, there's this other chick who is really fit...." unless your girlfriend is ridiculously open minded. Let's think of it the other way round.
HER : "Hey, I just want to talk to you about something."
YOU : "Sure."
HER : "There's this guy at my gym who has been giving me a lot of attention. I mean, I still love you, but this guy is really fine and I hear he's got a massive cock so I was thinking of sleeping with him. What do you think of that?"
YOU : "Um...."

It's a typical fallacy that finding other people attractive is somehow symptomatic of a "problem" in the relationship. It's perfectly normal and healthy. Drawing your partners attention to it is neither.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 01:24   #42
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness insid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
It's a typical fallacy that finding other people attractive is somehow symptomatic of a "problem" in the relationship. It's perfectly normal and healthy. Drawing your partners attention to it is neither.
If both partners beiieve that it's "normal and healthy" then I'm not sure what your problem is. The whole 'unspoken mutual agreement to lie' thing has always struck me as silly.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 01:30   #43
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness insid

Who do you like more?
Answer: You don't know yet.

Get to know the Spanish one WITHOUT F*CKING HER. (Don't cheat on your gf it'll be 20 minutes of bliss for a month of pain.)
Then decide after that.


ps.
If your just with your current gf cos it's probably better than being alone. Then i'd dump her. Whether there's someone else or not.

[edit] dace+dante are correct. DONT tell your gf. she's probably seen guys she wouldnt mind f-cking, but didnt. im sure your glad you werent informed on her "core i wouldnt mind being poked by him, but no wait i'll stay with my bf instead" stage.

Last edited by Dr. Octagonecologyst; 16 Jul 2004 at 01:37.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 06:39   #44
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness insid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
If both partners beiieve that it's "normal and healthy" then I'm not sure what your problem is. The whole 'unspoken mutual agreement to lie' thing has always struck me as silly.
Because intellectually appreciating something and "emotionally" appreciating (for want of a better word) something are two different things.

It's not lying, its just not being blatant about things. As an example in most relationships your partner will have been sexually intimate with someone else before you. This is "normal and healthy". And intellectually you will understand this. However, seeing a video of your partner being ****ed by his/her ex (say) would still be emotionally painful. If your partner has had many previous relationships there is a good chance that they will have had sexual relationships with someone "superior" (??) to yourself in some fashion. Once again, this is normal and healthy.

Your girlfriend telling you that you are inferior would not be.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 07:05   #45
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness insid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
Because intellectually appreciating something and "emotionally" appreciating (for want of a better word) something are two different things.

It's not lying, its just not being blatant about things. As an example in most relationships your partner will have been sexually intimate with someone else before you. This is "normal and healthy". And intellectually you will understand this. However, seeing a video of your partner being ****ed by his/her ex (say) would still be emotionally painful.
I would class this as a sign of insecurity rather than anything else. Obviously not many people would go out of their way to watch a video of their partner sleeping with an ex, but I dont think it would have to be painful. I've never personally been in that situation, but I think I'd be fairly comfortable with it.

I think that if watching a video like that would generally hurt you, then you _haven't_ actually accepted that your partner has had previous sexual relationships. You might know they have in the most detached 'intellectual sense' possible, but thats very different from full acceptance. If you try to hide from certain truths, I think that would cause problems later on (both specific to relationshps, and to life in general). In any case, it would be a shit way to live.


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Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
If your partner has had many previous relationships there is a good chance that they will have had sexual relationships with someone "superior" (??) to yourself in some fashion. Once again, this is normal and healthy.

Your girlfriend telling you that you are inferior would not be
.
I've no idea what you mean by superior here. If you mean in a general sense, then I would hope that she hadn't ever been with anyone she felt 'superior' to me, and if she had, I doubt there would be much future in the relationship. If you mean in a purely sexual sense then yes, that would be possible, but I disagree that her bringing it up would be a bad thing. It sounds cliche, but it's far better to get things like that out in the open so they can be worked on. Are you honestly claiming that it would be healthier for a person to secretly yearn for an ex because they were better in bed than their current partner?
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 09:17   #46
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness insid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
I would class this as a sign of insecurity rather than anything else. Obviously not many people would go out of their way to watch a video of their partner sleeping with an ex, but I dont think it would have to be painful. I've never personally been in that situation, but I think I'd be fairly comfortable with it.
Well duh, obviously it's a sign of insecurity. And that's how most people are (<generalisation>especially women</generalisation>, which is what was being discussed originally).
Quote:
If you try to hide from certain truths, I think that would cause problems later on (both specific to relationshps, and to life in general). In any case, it would be a shit way to live.
It's not really about "hiding". It's about not deliberately exposing yourself to certain things. I mean, I know my partner goes to the toilet, but I don't really want to watch her do it, you dig? Sure, I could, and I'd be fine with it in the long term but overall my life would be better without actually viewing her crap.

Similarly, I'm aware there are some pretty nasty things in the world, but I don't need to spend all day viewing rotten.com (or similar) to appreciate this. Maybe it's healthy to be exposed from time to time to keep things real, but I wouldn't say that I'm somehow "hiding" from real-life if I choose not to watch some of the slightly sicker stuff on the 'net (as an analogy).

I think you're positing some state of "comfortableness" or "acceptance" which is somewhat delusional (for most people, perhaps). It's natural (lollerz, I lose) to feel pain if there are strong feelings involved and not deliberately stirring up pain seems a sensible life strategy.
Quote:
It sounds cliche, but it's far better to get things like that out in the open so they can be worked on. Are you honestly claiming that it would be healthier for a person to secretly yearn for an ex because they were better in bed than their current partner?
You're using loaded terms like "hide" and "secret" here where I don't think that's warranted. When I said superior I meant in some silly objective sense, so e.g. her previous boyfriend had a larger dick or something. It's not really something to be worked on per se, and I wasn't implying that anyone secretly yearned for anyone. It's just comments like "Oh, my previous girlfriend just had a better looking face than yours" are generally unhelpful and probably should be avoided.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 09:38   #47
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness insid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
Well duh, obviously it's a sign of insecurity. And that's how most people are.
Well perhaps, but that's a pretty poor excuse.

Quote:
.It's not really about "hiding". It's about not deliberately exposing yourself to certain things. I mean, I know my partner goes to the toilet, but I don't really want to watch her do it, you dig? Sure, I could, and I'd be fine with it in the long term but overall my life would be better without actually viewing her crap.
Her going to the toilet isnt likely to have any significance in your life. The refusal of people to accept certain things relating to their partner often does have great significance, and seems to one of the main reasons why people screw up relationships.

Quote:
Maybe it's healthy to be exposed from time to time to keep things real, but I wouldn't say that I'm somehow "hiding" from real-life if I choose not to watch some of the slightly sicker stuff on the 'net (as an analogy).
Again, that your partner will be likely to feel physically attraction towards others is something that could be potentially problematic (as is the fact that you are likely to feel attraction towards others). If you havent reached full acceptance of this, then it's likely to be treated as a far bigger issue than it really deserves to be.

I completely disagree with your split between 'intellectual knowledge' and 'emotional knowledge' here by the way - it seems like the kind of nonsense people often use to justify evasion. When you say you know something 'intellectually' but not 'emotionally', it sounds like you know that its true but dont want to either think about it, or fully consider it's signifiicance. While this is defensible when it comes to things whose deliberation would cause little or no benefit, it seems like a bad strategy to use when dealing with important truths.

Quote:
You're using loaded terms like "hide" and "secret" here where I don't think that's warranted. When I said superior I meant in some silly objective sense, so e.g. her previous boyfriend had a larger dick or something. It's not really something to be worked on per se, and I wasn't implying that anyone secretly yearned for anyone. It's just comments like "Oh, my previous girlfriend just had a better looking face than yours" are generally unhelpful and probably should be avoided.
Actually no, I think they have a positive role to play, only not in the context you describe. A lot of problems seem to be caused by the fact that people deceive themselves into thinking that they are perfect in every single way imaginable for their partner, and then fall to pieces when they find out this is not the case. It seems more honest to accept that a person's ex may have been 'better' than you in some area, but that this simply does not matter.

I think that a comment such as "my ex had a bigger penis/nicer bum/whatever than you, but this isn't important because the reason I love is you more is due to what you are as a totality rather than any one specific detail " sounds a great deal more sincere than "every single detail about you is perfect in every single way", and is also more likely to be true (and believed).




Insecurity is a horrible horrible thing, and basing a relationship around it does not seem rational.


edit: none of the above actually relates directly to this thread, because I agree that it would probably be a mistake for xtrsyn to mention anything to his girlfriend.

Last edited by Nodrog; 16 Jul 2004 at 09:47.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 10:02   #48
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness insid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
Her going to the toilet isnt likely to have any significance in your life. The refusal of people to accept certain things relating to their partner often does have great significance, and seems to one of the main reasons why people screw up relationships.
Perhaps here we come down to some sort of other split, since I don't feel these sorts of truths are objectively very important anyway. Obviously they can become important but that could be said for any random insanity people suffer from.
Quote:
While this is defensible when it comes to things whose deliberation would cause little or no benefit, it seems like a bad strategy to use when dealing with important truths.
I fail to see how your partner wanting to screw someone else is an "important truth" on any real level.
Quote:
I think that a comment such as "my ex had a bigger penis/nicer bum/whatever than you, but this isn't important because the reason I love is you more is due to what you are as a totality rather than any one specific detail " sounds a great deal more sincere than "every single detail about you is perfect in every single way", and is also more likely to be true (and believed).
That's a false dichotomy. I wouldn't advocate someone saying "You're perfect in every way" as that's laughably untrue and everyone knows it. Still, people say that sort of thing and mean it because they're "loved up" (to use druggie terminology). If I'm spending time with someone and serotonin/whatever is flooding my brain I may genuinely believe they are perfect. Afterwards in the cold light of day I'll obviously see their skin could be better/etc.

But anyway, that's a side point. So you don't say to someone "You're perfect" you also don't need to mention the fact they're inferior in some fashion to someone else. Why bring it up? Unless it was part of the conversation already I don't see why you'd say anything.

"Oh X, I love you so much. I mean, your cock is so much smaller than my previous boyfriend, and the guy before that and had more money, my first boyfriend could make love to me for hours longer, this guy at work I've had my eye on has a better body, and my friend has better teeth than you but I love your soul." (ok, sure I'm exaggerating now but you can see what I'm saying).
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Insecurity is a horrible horrible thing, and basing a relationship around it does not seem rational.
I agree, but I'm not advocating that.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 10:08   #49
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)



I won´t tell my gf. Somuch is clear to me after a sleepless night of deliberation.
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Unread 16 Jul 2004, 10:20   #50
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Re: Something beautiful yet terrible happened to me yesterday (warning: gayness inside)

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Originally Posted by xtrasyn


I won´t tell my gf. Somuch is clear to me after a sleepless night of deliberation.
what is clear?
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