i need to relax more, i worry
alot about things going wrong to the extent that i convince myself they are despite all evidence to the contrary, i don't actually say when i'm worried about something though, i tend to just scare myself sick in silence about it untill it's passed, when things
do go wrong i tend to take it really badly and assume it's entirely my fault and that everyone else involved also thinks so; this usually results in me dissapearing for a while from those people with no explanation as to why which is silly as it causes people to worry unnecessarily which isn't a very nice thing of me to do.
i always assume people don't like me no matter what, i started crying today because my girlfriend hasn't answered the phone when i called assuming she'd gone off me (okay so she still hasn't actually answered the phone yet but i'm quite sure she's coming home). i thought aload of people at work hated me and i started to get really scared about going in and pretty much stopped talking to people there untill one of them asked me what was wrong and it turns out they don't dislike me at all.
i assume because i'm younger than most of the people i know they see me as 'in the way' and that they have to be very concious of how they act around me even though they don't and aren't, i've started to get this way with people the same age as me and even some people younger and i constantly feel like 'the little kid' wherever i go.
i'm not confident at all in groups, i can talk to anyone about anything when it's just us or a few people more but the second a single person i don't really know that well shows up i get really quiet and can't seem to help it, i even get this way around my friends now which is a worry. i think this is why it takes me alot longer to get to know people now than it used to but i'm also worried (see: paragraph one) that i'm just overanalising this or that alot of people simply don't like me (see: paragraph two).
i'm self obsessed.
edit: oh to actually reply to the thread i think the above is holding me back and i need to change the above to fulfill my potential