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18 May 2005, 17:53
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#1
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Then here you go:
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Metro
A TEENAGER killed in a car crash was buried yesterday with his mobile phone to allow friends to send farewell text messages to his grave.
Aaron Howard, 17, was also kitted out by relatives in his favourite trainers, jeans, and cap, and even had his hair gel in his coffin.
His father, Steve, said "He's got everything - even his sunglasses are there and I've even put a bag of crisps in, because he was always eating crisps, and a couple of cans of his favourite Carling lager.
"There are messages, pictures, and photos from his friends and family, and I have charged his mobile phone so that people can text him."
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It's like Vicky Pollard meets Beowulf.
Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 18 May 2005 at 18:29.
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18 May 2005, 17:55
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#2
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Twang Twang
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Where I live
Posts: 837
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
I feel i can only respond with:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
So I have.
__________________
"I'm an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard"
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18 May 2005, 17:55
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#3
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
and people say the church is 'dumbing down'
__________________
hi
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18 May 2005, 17:56
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#4
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
He was ****ed in life and his parents ensure that he's ****ed for all eternity.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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18 May 2005, 17:57
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#5
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Careless talk costs lives
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cardiff, UK
Posts: 170
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
It's sad that someone died, but it's funny the way he was buried. I have mixed feelings on this.
Either way, I'm going to hell.
__________________
[19:13] <Keglomaniac> whats wrong with our intel?
[19:13] <bos|takeaway> its a contradiction in terms
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18 May 2005, 17:59
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#6
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Just think of it as natural selection and all feelings of sympathy simply depart.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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18 May 2005, 18:01
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#7
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Heh, Leeds !
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In The Redfern
Posts: 3,790
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Best of all, if he comes back to life in some bizarre 'Jesus returns as some dumb f'k chav 2nd coming shock horror' he can phone for help, have a beer and make himself look pretteh while waiting to be dug out.
Or he can just magic himself like David Blaine.
__________________
The George Harrison of BlueTuba
Yes, I know he is dead !
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18 May 2005, 18:42
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#8
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mmm lambs
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: London
Posts: 1,906
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
I didn't think it was that bad. Not how I would want to be buried and I would feel a bit weird texting a dead bloke but quite a lot of people are buried in favourite clothes with some items that they liked throughout their life. I would have thought there would be something better to chuck in there than food, booze and gel though.
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I drink therefore I am
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18 May 2005, 18:45
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#9
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
At least if they didn't like him they could send him some really abusive message and noone will ever know.
On second thoughts, his chav mates will probably dig up the phone and clothes and sell them down the market
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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18 May 2005, 19:05
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#10
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J to the C to the A G E
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Scúnthorpe
Posts: 5,583
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Why wasn't it Silver Lynx?
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18 May 2005, 19:08
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#11
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
__________________
You're now playing ketchup
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18 May 2005, 19:12
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#12
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
I wonder if they turned the phone on silent...
Never mind - you wouldn't be able to get any signal down there anyway.
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18 May 2005, 20:15
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#13
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Affectionate Nickname
Join Date: May 2002
Location: wigan
Posts: 206
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Quote:
Originally Posted by pablissimo
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I say we dig his coffin up, fix it up to a chav mobile and take it to some kind of box-car racing event. Push him down a hill and this time we'll be able to video tape his spectatularily stupid death.*
*no offence. I'm sure his death was worthy.
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My posts represent me and me alone and have no connection to any of the communities I may or may not be involved in unless stated within my posts. Bints.
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18 May 2005, 20:35
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#14
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
He died in a RTA. According to the BBC, the car he was in left the road and crashed into a building. This was on a Saturday evening, and no other vehicles were involved. Which suggests to me that whoever was driving was pissed, or at least in serious need of a good optician.
Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 18 May 2005 at 20:42.
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18 May 2005, 20:44
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#15
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Was it his car?
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 May 2005, 20:48
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#16
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Doesn't say. He was with another 17 year old chav and a 22 year-old who looks really quite respectable. All of them died.
I suspect the 22 year-old chappie and the other chav were in the front, and him in the back, since they both died more or less instantly and he later in hospital.
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18 May 2005, 21:08
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#17
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
I want to be buried in a devil costume with a pitchfork. That way, if our mortal bodies are indeed risen again on the last day, I can scare the hell out of all the other people in the graveyard by pointing at the ground and telling them they're coming with me.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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18 May 2005, 23:56
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#18
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
I've read that article like Monday when I was at work. It was written in The Sun or something.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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19 May 2005, 13:14
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#19
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(.) (.)
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: NI
Posts: 410
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Be funny if his dad didnt bury his fone but kept it, and started replying to his friends messages with things like Where am I and Its dark in here
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19 May 2005, 14:00
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#20
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mmm.. pills
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,152
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
I don't think it's silly at all. I'd hate to think that when I get buried it's done in some boring ritualistic christian way, couldn't think of a worse way to join the damned.
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19 May 2005, 14:27
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#21
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
'chav' means 'british person' right?
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19 May 2005, 14:50
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#22
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overtired
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,900
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
'chav' means 'british person' right?
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in the same way that 'whore' means 'dutch person'
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19 May 2005, 14:51
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#23
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
'chav' means 'british person' right?
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Like hockey playing ginger fag means Dutch.
Edit: Beaten by 1-X, kind of.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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19 May 2005, 14:58
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#24
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Poor Koen. He hates us all because we're better than him.
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19 May 2005, 15:12
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#25
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Poor Koen. He hates us all because we're better than him.
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And we hate him for the exact same reason.
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19 May 2005, 18:15
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#26
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
You're saying you think Koen is better than you? Dude, that's ****ed up.
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19 May 2005, 18:26
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#27
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share the <3
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 2,709
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
personally id be first in the queue txting obscene messages to his mobile. In 500yrs a time team tony type will dig it up and be astounded at the craftsman ship and literary achievements of early 21st century britain.
__________________
Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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19 May 2005, 18:30
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#28
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
You're saying you think Koen is better than you? Dude, that's ****ed up.
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that's not what i meant, or what i said, and you know it.
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19 May 2005, 18:44
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#29
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoD
Be funny if his dad didnt bury his fone but kept it, and started replying to his friends messages with things like Where am I and Its dark in here
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Inspired.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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19 May 2005, 18:47
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#30
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
that's not what i meant, or what i said, and you know it.
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I love it when you become authoritative.
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