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Unread 18 May 2005, 17:53   #1
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Then here you go:

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Metro
A TEENAGER killed in a car crash was buried yesterday with his mobile phone to allow friends to send farewell text messages to his grave.
Aaron Howard, 17, was also kitted out by relatives in his favourite trainers, jeans, and cap, and even had his hair gel in his coffin.
His father, Steve, said "He's got everything - even his sunglasses are there and I've even put a bag of crisps in, because he was always eating crisps, and a couple of cans of his favourite Carling lager.
"There are messages, pictures, and photos from his friends and family, and I have charged his mobile phone so that people can text him."
It's like Vicky Pollard meets Beowulf.

Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 18 May 2005 at 18:29.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 17:55   #2
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

I feel i can only respond with:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

So I have.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 17:55   #3
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

and people say the church is 'dumbing down'
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Unread 18 May 2005, 17:56   #4
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

He was ****ed in life and his parents ensure that he's ****ed for all eternity.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 17:57   #5
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

It's sad that someone died, but it's funny the way he was buried. I have mixed feelings on this.

Either way, I'm going to hell.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 17:59   #6
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Just think of it as natural selection and all feelings of sympathy simply depart.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 18:01   #7
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Best of all, if he comes back to life in some bizarre 'Jesus returns as some dumb f'k chav 2nd coming shock horror' he can phone for help, have a beer and make himself look pretteh while waiting to be dug out.

Or he can just magic himself like David Blaine.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 18:42   #8
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

I didn't think it was that bad. Not how I would want to be buried and I would feel a bit weird texting a dead bloke but quite a lot of people are buried in favourite clothes with some items that they liked throughout their life. I would have thought there would be something better to chuck in there than food, booze and gel though.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 18:45   #9
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

At least if they didn't like him they could send him some really abusive message and noone will ever know.

On second thoughts, his chav mates will probably dig up the phone and clothes and sell them down the market
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Unread 18 May 2005, 19:05   #10
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Why wasn't it Silver Lynx?
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Unread 18 May 2005, 19:08   #11
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

I'd have added alloys if I had time
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Unread 18 May 2005, 19:12   #12
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

I wonder if they turned the phone on silent...

Never mind - you wouldn't be able to get any signal down there anyway.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 20:15   #13
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by pablissimo
I say we dig his coffin up, fix it up to a chav mobile and take it to some kind of box-car racing event. Push him down a hill and this time we'll be able to video tape his spectatularily stupid death.*













*no offence. I'm sure his death was worthy.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 20:35   #14
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

He died in a RTA. According to the BBC, the car he was in left the road and crashed into a building. This was on a Saturday evening, and no other vehicles were involved. Which suggests to me that whoever was driving was pissed, or at least in serious need of a good optician.

Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 18 May 2005 at 20:42.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 20:44   #15
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Was it his car?
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Unread 18 May 2005, 20:48   #16
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Doesn't say. He was with another 17 year old chav and a 22 year-old who looks really quite respectable. All of them died.

I suspect the 22 year-old chappie and the other chav were in the front, and him in the back, since they both died more or less instantly and he later in hospital.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 21:08   #17
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

I want to be buried in a devil costume with a pitchfork. That way, if our mortal bodies are indeed risen again on the last day, I can scare the hell out of all the other people in the graveyard by pointing at the ground and telling them they're coming with me.
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Unread 18 May 2005, 23:56   #18
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

I've read that article like Monday when I was at work. It was written in The Sun or something.
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Unread 19 May 2005, 13:14   #19
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Be funny if his dad didnt bury his fone but kept it, and started replying to his friends messages with things like Where am I and Its dark in here
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Unread 19 May 2005, 14:00   #20
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

I don't think it's silly at all. I'd hate to think that when I get buried it's done in some boring ritualistic christian way, couldn't think of a worse way to join the damned.
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Unread 19 May 2005, 14:27   #21
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

'chav' means 'british person' right?
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Unread 19 May 2005, 14:50   #22
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
'chav' means 'british person' right?
in the same way that 'whore' means 'dutch person'
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Unread 19 May 2005, 14:51   #23
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
'chav' means 'british person' right?
Like hockey playing ginger fag means Dutch.


Edit: Beaten by 1-X, kind of.
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Unread 19 May 2005, 14:58   #24
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Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Exclamation Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Poor Koen. He hates us all because we're better than him.
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Unread 19 May 2005, 15:12   #25
Ste
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Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Poor Koen. He hates us all because we're better than him.
And we hate him for the exact same reason.
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yeh so Plastic Brilliance is now known as FOXYSTOAT - Come on by and check it out!
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Unread 19 May 2005, 18:15   #26
Marilyn Manson
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Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Exclamation Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

You're saying you think Koen is better than you? Dude, that's ****ed up.
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Unread 19 May 2005, 18:26   #27
Nusselt
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

personally id be first in the queue txting obscene messages to his mobile. In 500yrs a time team tony type will dig it up and be astounded at the craftsman ship and literary achievements of early 21st century britain.
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though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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Unread 19 May 2005, 18:30   #28
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Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Ste has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
You're saying you think Koen is better than you? Dude, that's ****ed up.
that's not what i meant, or what i said, and you know it.
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Wise men write because they have something to write about; fools write because they have to write something. - Plato

yeh so Plastic Brilliance is now known as FOXYSTOAT - Come on by and check it out!
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Unread 19 May 2005, 18:44   #29
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Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoD
Be funny if his dad didnt bury his fone but kept it, and started replying to his friends messages with things like Where am I and Its dark in here
Inspired.
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Unread 19 May 2005, 18:47   #30
Marilyn Manson
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Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Exclamation Re: If you ever wanted to know what a chav funeral would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
that's not what i meant, or what i said, and you know it.
I love it when you become authoritative.
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