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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 01:17   #1
Amoril
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An Amusing Story
This is primarily written for Meridian (as i couldn't be arsed typing it out in irc land).

However, without knowing too much background info hopefully other people will find it funny.

It's a story about people we went to school with (just so you know).


----------


Adam (a bit of a skinny freak and somebody who i dont particularly like), Chris (tall "alrightish" guy), Callum (Ginger haired intelligent guy who is/was a mate) and his girlfriend (who he met at Uni and who i've never seen) and Craig (a fat stupid slob with poor hygeine etc) were all in the Pub.

Craig never drank before he as 18 ("it's illegal") but as this story takes place after that he was drinking the fateful night. Drinking Brandy and an assortment of alcopops and other fag drinks that is.

Anyway Callum's g/f had taken a bit of a dislike to Craig (shockingly enough :rolleyes:) and 'long story short' kept on telling him "how much she [didnt] like him" and "Just [to] **** off" etc. In the end everybody but Craig got up leaving Craig in the pub on his own saying that they were all going home to bed. Craig was left to walk home (down an unlit counrty road) on his own.

Craig is terrified of the dark.

So Craig makes it home alright and decides to phone Callum to talk about 'The Situation'. The phone gets answered only it's Adam. Turns out that instead of 'going home to bed' the night continued back at Callums.

Adam hangs up on Craig.

Craig phones back.

Chris answers.

Chris hangs up.

Craig phones back.

Callum's phone is disconnected (from the wall).

Craig phones Chris's mobile.

Chris switches it off.

Craig gets riled up.

He phones Chris's dad (who lives in Dunblane ... all this is happening 5 miles up the road in Bridge of Allan) and (again 'long story short') asks him to give him a lift up to Callum's house (which is 2 miles from Craig). The fact that it's 2am and Chris's dad has to get up at 6 for work doesn't seem to register with Craig. The abuse from Chris's dad and the reciever being slammed down on the other end of the line seem to tho.

Craig decides to walk over to Callum's.

Arriving at Callum's house the folk who are there can see his bulk through the glass bit of the door and don't answer the door when the doorbell rings.

Craig starts going around the house banging on the windows begging to be let in.

Nobody complies.

Craig then gets a bit of log or something and starts beating on one of the windows screaming that "When i get in i'm gonna make all of you sorry that you locked me out" or words to that effect anyway.

Callum's g/f is getting really worried and a bit freaked out at this point which in turn makes Callum uptight.

Now here's a bit of an info burst which relates to the story.

- Callum's Dad was rector (or whatever the post of the top guy who runs a Uni is called ... not just a voted in person by the students but really 'The Top Guy') of Stirling Uni.

- Callum's Mum is a MP.

- There is a list of 'high priority call outs' that the Police have (which in the Stirling area Callum's house is quite high on).

So anyway Callum decides to phone the Police to get them to deal with it.

3 minutes later a Police Van screeches to a halt outside Callum's house responding to the call of a maniac threatening the occupents.

Craig is led to the van where all of a sudden he 'goes crazy' and in an attempt to get away or something decks a Female Police Officer.

This does not go down too well with the Police.

Craig however does as two male colleagues of the W.P.C bunddle Craig to the floor.

Craig is driven away and latter recieves a caution.



Now if you've just read this story you're probably thinking "What was the point?" or "Why did Craig do that?".

In response to your unasked question i will respond with:

Craig is very stupid and does very stupid things.

Hopefully you can understand that.



(i probably should have mentioned earlier but Callum had the house to himself for the weekend ... Parents and Sister were away).
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 01:19   #2
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That sure is a lot of words.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 01:21   #3
Amoril
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nodrog
That sure is a lot of words.


Kinda like the thread title implied it would be.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 01:22   #4
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I know of similarly stupid people.

One is , unsurprisingly , the subject of my Moral Dilemma thread.

Etc etc.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 01:25   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Iniluki
So which one where you?

Craig?


I'm none of the people in that story.

I am "Rankin".

There are plenty of "amusing stories" about me too tho.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 01:25   #6
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Re: An Amusing Story
It makes me afraid that he was ever in the same class as us wielding a scalpel... that labcoat was to keep the human blood from his clothes.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 01:39   #7
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this amusing story lived up to its billing
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 05:57   #8
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Why did he act like that?

there are 3 factors.
[list=1][*]He was drunk[*]your his mates[*]you 'betrayed' him[/list=1]

Would i have gone on like that no, I'd have let it lie till the next day. But you were pretty scummy with him. If this hadnt happened i doubt you would have made the guy seem like such a dick.

If he wasnt your mate before he shouldnt have been drinking with you. You have not said of anything he'd done wrong, the gf just took a disliking to him and went on like a bitch.

You then all lied to him and dumped him in the pub. You guys were ****s and dumped on your mates. A little 'tact' would have been a bit better, ah well **** happens.

BTW, did it make the local newspaper? "Nutter attacks MP's home, WPC hurt" Anything like that?
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 07:45   #9
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you get a caution for hitting a police officer!?!??!? hell, here the LEAST of your worries are the severe beating you're about to receive.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 07:49   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sandsnake
you get a caution for hitting a police officer!?!??!? hell, here the LEAST of your worries are the severe beating you're about to receive.
**** yeah! USA! USA! USA!
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 08:24   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by menth0l
**** yeah! USA! USA! USA!
and you say our police system works like a charm?
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 13:12   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Xillah
Why did he act like that?

there are 3 factors.
[list=1][*]He was drunk[*]your his mates[*]you 'betrayed' him[/list=1]

Would i have gone on like that no, I'd have let it lie till the next day. But you were pretty scummy with him. If this hadnt happened i doubt you would have made the guy seem like such a dick.

If he wasnt your mate before he shouldnt have been drinking with you. You have not said of anything he'd done wrong, the gf just took a disliking to him and went on like a bitch.

You then all lied to him and dumped him in the pub. You guys were ****s and dumped on your mates. A little 'tact' would have been a bit better, ah well **** happens.

BTW, did it make the local newspaper? "Nutter attacks MP's home, WPC hurt" Anything like that?


Two Points which i think need to be addressed:

1.) I - WASN'T - THERE!

2.) I'm not, and never have been, Craig's friend.



It didn't make the paper (i don't think so anyway ... i found out a week or so after it happened).
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 14:08   #13
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I roffled.

Tomato.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 16:15   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sandsnake
you get a caution for hitting a police officer!?!??!? hell, here the LEAST of your worries are the severe beating you're about to receive.
Its up to the police officer you hit. The WPC must ae decided not to press charges.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 16:20   #15
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what a sorry ass prick this craig is

heh etceteras
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 16:26   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sandsnake
you get a caution for hitting a police officer!?!??!? hell, here the LEAST of your worries are the severe beating you're about to receive.
Quote:
Police Act 1996, Section 89, Paragraph 1
Any person who assaults a constable in the execution of his duty, or a person assisting a constable in the execution of his duty, shall be guilty of an offence and liable on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine not exceeding level 5 on the standard scale, or to both.
Seems a bit lax to me, actually.
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 17:00   #17
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things like this are why i dont go drinking with ppl i dont like, of course, i hope everyone laughed like hell at that guy when he got out from his night in lockup
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 17:09   #18
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The sad thing about this story is ive been to Brifge of Allan.
It aint all that an a bag of chips
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Unread 10 Mar 2003, 19:21   #19
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Re: An Amusing Story
Quote:
Originally posted by Amoril
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