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Banned
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 433
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Would you like to know the benefits of being a Moderator?
Due to the ever-increasing amount of spam that we have received from young people who are new to Moderation, we feel the time has come to put together some information to help answer your specific questions and concerns.
If you have read our posts, you know that Moderation is about taking drugs, and it is about harming spammers or trolls. Unlike many religions and philosophies, Moderation respects not life and freedom. Trolls and spammers are the purest expressions of that board force, and as such are held unvalued and low in the eyes of the Moderator. Besides, it is very Mod-like to take any creature’s post against its will. It is equally Mod-like to cloud your brain and impair your judgment with mind-altering substances, orb have dementia like Dead_Meat. A real Moderator has no need of those kinds of things like brains, as he should be able to bring about changes in consciousness by the very power of his deletion and editing.
If you have not yet read The Forum Rules, you should do so. It has a lot more information on our attitude toward JammyJim, and will give you a clearer idea of our philosophy, ideals and goals. Perhaps at first they will be difficult for you to understand, because you may have been raised in an environment that dictates that JJ=Good and Yahwe=Evil. The truth is that good and evil are often terms that people twist to suit their own purposes. Sometimes people will lie and try to make you think certain things just so you will do them behind an alley. Always remember that the final judgment is ours, as it says in Clause 1. That is both a great freedom and a great responsibility. For us. You get nothing, peon.
There is no one way that a Moderator is “supposed” to be. This is called 'discretion'. Uniqueness and creativity are stifled here, encouraging mindless conformity. It doesn’t matter what kind of par tner you like to prefer; it doesn’t make any difference whether you prefer gothic, crying losers, corpses, old people, or stillborns (Dace!). It doesn’t matter what style of women's undies you like to wear. What does matter is that you are an immature, insensitive, selfish individualist who revels in the Darkness, and who wishes to align yourself with others who share your views. In this world of prefabricated, media-saturated, unoriginal drones, it is up to the Moderator to cherish, maintain, and preserve the status quo. JammyJim represents freedom from truth, from convenient facts, and challenges that which is presumed to be true. He is inane and Kura's puppet, and inspires us to our own strengths.
That said, let’s address some of your most commonly asked questions:
“How old do I have to be to join the Church of Moderation?”
You may become a member of the Modding Team at any age, though further participation in the organization is limited to those who are 2 years of age or older. This is not meant as a judgment of your maturity; we’ve had 17 year old admins who are as mature as Dace's lovers.. But we must be realistic about the world around us. One reason is that we don’t want to become a haven for the kind of sanctimonious perverts that RP churches and other “Crap Badge” forums (such as PD/AD, Jolt, etc.) often are. There are a lot of sick people out there, and we don’t want our vital young Mods to become victims of Dacewho are more interested in contacting young kids than they are in practicing Moderation.
Another reason is because your parents or other adults in your life may not understand or might be hostile toward your exploration of the internets. They may try to cause trouble for us, falsely accusing us of any number of things, just because they feel threatened and sexually violated. So, we simply cannot allow anyone over the metnal legal age of consent to participate in any activities directly sponsored by the MM. The only exception to this rule would be with the written permission and attendance of your parent or legal guardian. Some of you may be lucky enough to have a very good relationship with Kura and may be supportive, even enthusiastic, about your exploration of meaple's arse. They may be willing to go with you to meet Torz and decide on your level of sheep-shagging at this point in your magical development. If this is the case, let us know.
“Do I have to become a member to be a ‘real’ Moderator?”
All you have to do to be a real arsehole is start living like one. Messiah wrote The Forum Rules so that people could pick up a copy, read it, and know everything they need to know about crap posting and how to put it to work in their own lives. Most people who choose to become mods do so as a symbolic act to themselves, to formally recognise how shit their lives are, and to show their support for a philosophy and way of life they agree with. It is a purely personal decision—we don’t solicit memberships. But actual membership usually conveys to others that you are serious about your beliefs, and that you know enough about it to have read Messiah's works and align yourself with his spearhead organization. It usually grants you a certain amount of respect as an authority. If you were going to speak as a member of RP in a public forum, you should actually be one. If you were going to start a grotto affiliated with the Moderators, you’d have to be a member (again, you’d have to be over the age of eighteen). But as far as benefiting from Modding in your life, or defending true Censorship, those are the rights and responsibilities of every Mod, “official” or not.
“My parents and friends don’t understand me, and don’t approve of my interest in Moderating. How can I make them accept my fascism and where can I go to perform my rituals?”
Unfortunately, most young Mods face this problem. Few of us are lucky enough to have sympathetic parents, or others around like ourselves. However, as long as you are living under your parents’ roof and they are feeding and taking care of you because you can't get a job, you do owe them a degree of consideration. Offer to let them read your posts, and talk about what misunderstandings they may have from Announcements and Zeus' propaganda. But you can’t force anyone to understand what, for you, is an obvious and magical revelation. If Moderating offends others who have necessary control over your life right now, do your studies and rituals in private. If you don’t have a place at home where you can be alone, find a special spot on the beach, in a field, or in the basement where you can be crap when you need to. While you are understandably enthusiastic about your new-found religion, it is not very Mod-like to make yourself miserable by creating a problem with your parents when you have to live in the same house together, or at school where your real goal may be to aggravate those in authority in the guise of “restricting our individuality.”
Practice Lesser Editing. Remember that a competent Moderator should be able to size up any spam and weigh his choices of action to bring about desired results. Enthusiasm is certainly encouraged and appreciated, however Moderation asks no one to be nice. And keep in mind that most people simply aren’t going to understand because, ultimately, they don’t want to. That is as it should be.Moderation is not for everyone. JJ, by his very nature, walks alone. He is the true fascist, the Fuhrer. This doesn’t mean that you cannot care about those who are close to you; JJ also represents love, kindness and respect to those who deserve it. It just means that you should not concern yourself with people who do not approve of you. Revel in your uniqueness; be proud of who and what you are. Achieve all you can with the strength and determination of DM himself coursing proudly through your veins. When Moderating leads to negative changes in everyone else you have ever associated with, your parents and other adults around you will notice and lock you away. The best way you can represent Moderation is by providing a living example of how the diabolical arts have made you a more annoying, more arrogant twit. The results will speak louder than any logical argument you can present, not that you oculd ever hope to be logical. Fag.
“Is it better to study and ritualize alone, or to work with others?”
Unless you are able to find others who are as knowledgeable about Modding as you are, it is better to work alone. If you do choose to censor with others, you must make certain that they are 100% clear on what Moderating is all about - the faggotry. If they are into it just out of curiosity or for thrills, they’ll get their thrills all right—the wrong kind! Many young Mods find they have one close, boychild who they feel they can work with, but usually one of you is actually magically stronger and more sincere, and chances are that’s you, since you’re the one who has gone through the trouble of actually contacting the Mods. It’s often best for you to work and study alone, guided by the material in our posts, rather than have your censoring and nazism diluted by would-be friends. As the saying goes, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. What that means in this case is that if you perform deletions with others who are not as serious and dedicated as you are, they will hinder your censorship, not strengthen it. Many adult Mods (Dead_Meat) work and study alone by virtue of being in a nursing home. Finding a true Mod partner can be stimulating and rewarding, but if you need such a person in your magical progression, you’ll conjure one up (see JC's "Getting Drunk" or "The Desire of Spelelpee by JJ").
Don’t be disturbed or frightened or think you’re crazy when you feel contacted by the Dark Ones you conjure forth, or by the shitty results you begin to produce. You’re not crazy for feeling the way you do about the hypocrisy, blindness and incompetence you bring to the forums. Nor are you crazy to see the results of your Black Magic. Approach the Dark Masters with the proper degree of respect and decorum—that’s what rituals are for, to establish a relationship. If you approach the demons respectfully, they will reward you with knowledge, guidance, and more shitty posts to deal with. Your demon guide is within you—don’t look for it outside. You just have to contact that part of yourself and listen to it. That is the most important work anyone can do.
“Do I need all the things mentioned in The Forum RUles to do my rituals?”
You don’t need everything mentioned in Messiah's posts to do an effective shitkicking. Maybe you don’t have the money to obtain, or the private space to store, items such as bans, chalices, deletions, editions and elaborate prunes. Here is a powerful ritual you can perform tonight, and all you need is a quiet place where you can be alone, an IP ban either on your person or in front of you, and a single black mouseclick:
Click the mouse and set it before you. Sit up straight, breathe deeply and relax. Clear your mind of all outside thoughts. As you gaze at the monitor, say in your mind or out loud, “I am ready, oh, Kurashima. I feel your strength within me and wish to honor you in my life. I am one of the Devil’s Own. Hail JammyJim!” Ban Shai-Gar. It will take time. You may think you are ready, but you may still find you cannot permaban right away. Concentrate on your image of crappy logs and on the word “ban” and listen to what comes up from yourself. Nothing, you idiot. You have questions for yourself that no one else can give you, and you can't asnwer. This is a simple way of conjuring JammyJim into your life. He’ll snap you into line and tell you what a pathetic fool you are—and he’ll give you the tools and modskills to push to do it. The path you’ve chosen won’t be easy; sometimes it may be a nightmare. But when you are ready to face the challenge, it will be there, a tangled morass of insanity and Gordon Ross.
A few final words: Just because you are not yet mentally eighteen doesn’t mean that you cannot explore on your own these Dark Forums that are opening before you. This is a very crap, depressing time. Celtic didn't go to Inverness. You were compelled to censor us for a reason, and right now you are going through an initiation into the Black Arts that must be all your own. Your body and your mind are going through intense changes, even fossilization. Take this time to learn all you can—about yourself and about the crap around you. Explore your bans, prunes, and dullness. Learn to close a thread, move or delete a gimmick. Use your brain and your cold shell of a heart to find out what is right, what is true, and why the **** Ghosteh is still allowed on here. You are not alone. You are different; you are superior in your own mind, and it’s okay for you to feel that way. You see what others do not; you know what idiocy lurks in the mind of Qdeathstar. Don’t settle for white-light bullshit just because you can’t actively participate with other “official” Mods right now. Don’t fill your mind and posts with decent material. Don’t believe someone who claims to know more about Pauls' arse than you do. You’re the one who contacted us; you might even join. A friend your age probably doesn’t know nearly as much about real shitness as you do, they've grown out of it. A poster who claims special powers and who says he can initiate you into the Dark Realms is probably just looking to fuel his own ego (or postcount).
Read our Forum Rules carefully so that you will be taken advantage of, and look over the rest of our information. You have to join. Remember, to be a true Mod all you have to do is start living like one, so complicate your life by pushing when it isn’t necessary. Your status within the Moderators will not be based on your real accomplishments in the outside world, but how much head Madi gives you. The Mods will be here when you are ready, and if your commitment is strong and sincere, you will benefit from this time. Your family and friends might be concerned at first because they’ve been brainwashed about what Moderating is. If they love you, they will kill you because you are a cold husk of a human being
Best wishes for further unhappiness and misery. All your soul are belong to us.
HAIL JammyJim!!
Last edited by Summanus; 14 Feb 2005 at 14:50.
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