|
5 Jun 2006, 02:17
|
#1
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Office Nights Out
There are some rules when it comes to office nights out. Experience distilled into wisdom purer than the alcohol consumed. Despite the smooth nature of the advice though, for some reason the booze always seems easier to swallow.
You can’t drink when you’re asleep and you can’t be expected to stay awake for long when you start discussing your job. The first rule is no shop talk. People know what the work is like. They experience it too. They have all the same moans. Their gripes are no different from yours. Being the first rule it’s broken soonest. These people, your colleagues, all you seem to have in common is the place you spend a third of your life slowly dying in. Conversations start slowly. You need to talk about something. You decide to talk about work for just a little bit. Long enough to figure out something else to discuss. Maybe the football. Maybe not. Your plan, everybody’s plan, goes awry. Moving between groups all that’s discussed is work. Any time somebody tries to change the topic somebody else drags it right back. This goes on all night.
The boozing also goes on all night. Caution, not just your drinking arm however, needs to be exercised. Rule number two; don’t drink too much. This rule isn’t so much broken, more ignored. After all “too much” isn’t really a quantifiable amount. That’s what you tell yourself on the way to the bar anyway. Tell yourself repeatedly. At least once per journey. Eventually the distance from here to the bar gets greater. Zig zagging your way there takes longer than it used to. Then the journey becomes instantaneous. Then the licensing laws renders any journey you may wish to make to the bar pointless.
Hangovers are unpleasant but over-indulgence isn’t the only thing you can regret the next day. The final rule is don’t be a sleaze. So long as the previous rule remains intact this one tends not to get broken. The flashbacks come with the shakes as you’re lying awake, suffering in bed the following morning. Meaningful eye contact. Declarations of intent. Possessive embraces. All unwanted advances. All from you.
Although you feel like dying experience tells you that, sadly, it won’t happen.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
5 Jun 2006, 02:19
|
#2
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Just an attempt to practise my writing by the way. Today's lesson was "try not to write anything generic". It's actually quite alot harder than i thought it would be. The following phrases all had to be scrapped;
“pearls of wisdom”
“dog with a bone”
“easier said that done”
“before you know it”
“a few too many”
“rules are made to be broken”
Anyways ...
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
5 Jun 2006, 02:54
|
#3
|
Insanity Prawn Boy!
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In a bush where you can't find me
Posts: 2,474
|
Re: Office Nights Out
What? So there's no story of a drunken Dace needing a restraining order
__________________
They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We shall remember them.
|
|
|
5 Jun 2006, 02:59
|
#4
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dave
What? So there's no story of a drunken Dace needing a restraining order :(
|
I was gonna write another blog-like article but decided to write a more general story instead.
I might write details later though.
Nothing overly bad just i'm gonna feel uncomfortable at work tomorrow *shrug*
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
5 Jun 2006, 08:02
|
#5
|
Heh, Leeds !
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In The Redfern
Posts: 3,790
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I was gonna write another blog-like article but decided to write a more general story instead.
I might write details later though.
Nothing overly bad just i'm gonna feel uncomfortable at work tomorrow *shrug*
|
Oh, you didn't did you ?
Or did she ?
Can we have details please ?
ta.
__________________
The George Harrison of BlueTuba
Yes, I know he is dead !
|
|
|
5 Jun 2006, 11:19
|
#6
|
Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
|
Re: Office Nights Out
In my own case:
Beer goggles at 2am
Didn't even fancy her in the cold light of day
"I love you"
It didn't work
__________________
Finally free!
|
|
|
5 Jun 2006, 11:23
|
#7
|
Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
|
Re: Office Nights Out
I pulled on my last work night out.
I haven't been invited on one since
|
|
|
5 Jun 2006, 21:32
|
#8
|
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,944
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Today's lesson was "try not to write anything generic".
|
"The first rule is" theme is pretty generic. I'm sure someone has an avatar to a popular film that uses this cliche to great effect.
__________________
I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying
Are the best i've ever had
|
|
|
5 Jun 2006, 21:52
|
#9
|
USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Thank god for civil service, eh?
__________________
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 00:32
|
#10
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragnarak
"The first rule is" theme is pretty generic.
|
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 00:49
|
#11
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Anyways i'm not gonna go into any great detail about what happened. I do however want to talk about one particular thing that did happen on Saturday .
I'd been drinking since about half 3 in the afternoon. The bus which brought the group back from the boat cruise arrived at the office at 23:30 or so. Having been drinking for 8 hours not many folk wanted to go out. Even though i'd had a bit to drink* by this point i was still keen to continue the night. In the end only me and Nic went out.
Nic and Kat** are twin sisters. They are hot. VERY hot.
We're walking down the road to get to ABC, which is at the top of Sauchiehall street. We're both staggering a touch so we end up walking arm and arm. Knowing how this looks, that we're both hammered and using each other as support, as we approach the club, i kinda suggest we hold hands instead.
After pissing about at the bus trying to convince others to join us and the walk itself it was prolly about midnight when we get to the club. This is a new club in the student end of town on a Saturday night. In this kind of situation gaining entry usually proves to be ... difficult. The couple infront of us get knocked back for being too drunk. Me and Nic walk right up and right past the bouncers without them saying a word. They just look at us as we walk past.
And the point of this post, simply this. If you can i REALLY recommend getting a hot girl. Every guy should have one. They seem to make life so much simpler.
*i can remember having drunk 2 pints of stella, 8 bottles of beer and 6 double vodkas (my memory's kinda shakey though so it could have been more)
** not *that* Kat
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 01:27
|
#12
|
Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
And the point of this post, simply this. If you can i REALLY recommend getting a hot girl. Every guy should have one. They seem to make life so much simpler.
|
If only it was that damn easy.
__________________
Finally free!
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 01:37
|
#13
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
If only it was that damn easy.
|
I appreciate that it's not gonna be easy (fixing a lottery win never is) but after my Saturday night experience i think i'm gonna try for a HOT girl!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 01:53
|
#14
|
Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I appreciate that it's not gonna be easy (fixing a lottery win never is) but after my Saturday night experience i think i'm gonna try for a HOT girl!
|
Whenever I go out, it's with my housemates. The two females out of us four are hot. My best friend is dating one of them, so they're close on the night. My other female housemate doesn't fancy me, I don't fancy her, and we're both on the pull. But everyone just assumes we're with each other - especially when we just go out together for laughs.
Discuss, etc
__________________
Finally free!
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 01:57
|
#15
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
Whenever I go out, it's with my housemates. The two females out of us four are hot. My best friend is dating one of them, so they're close on the night. My other female housemate doesn't fancy me, I don't fancy her, and we're both on the pull. But everyone just assumes we're with each other - especially when we just go out together for laughs.
Discuss, etc :(
|
Pic links to hot single white female please ta.
Once the pics are had then the discussion can begin.
To be honest though it'll prolly revolve around me inviting myself down to your flat.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 02:00
|
#16
|
Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Pic links to hot single white female please ta.
Once the pics are had then the discussion can begin.
To be honest though it'll prolly revolve around me inviting myself down to your flat.
|
Ste's repeatedly called for first dibs already and it's a no-can-do situation. She's blonde, leggy, tanned and pretty hot. No pics though.
__________________
Finally free!
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 02:03
|
#17
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
Ste's repeatedly called for first dibs already :rolleyes: and it's a no-can-do situation. She's blonde, leggy, tanned and pretty hot. No pics though.
|
"first come first served"
Tell me when you live and i'll be shinning up a drain pipe before you can say "SUPRISE SEX"
I say "say", what i really mean is "yell" though.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 02:05
|
#18
|
Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Cardiff, and there actually is a drain-pipe next to her window I think . Adam (midge5) can confirm appropriate hotness.
__________________
Finally free!
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 09:01
|
#19
|
Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
Ste's repeatedly called for first dibs already and it's a no-can-do situation. She's blonde, leggy, tanned and pretty hot. No pics though.
|
I don't remember doing that
Anyway, usually if you look like you're with a girl on a night out it's actually easier to pull as girls think you are 'safe' and so are happy to talk to you. Then you say "oh no - that's just my house mate" and you're in.
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 09:17
|
#20
|
Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
I don't remember doing that
|
http://www.plasticbrilliance.com/?q=node/50#comment-142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
Anyway, usually if you look like you're with a girl on a night out it's actually easier to pull as girls think you are 'safe' and so are happy to talk to you. Then you say "oh no - that's just my house mate" and you're in.
|
Hmmm not bad - I just lack confidence and wish that the fairer sex would come up to me instead of me chatting them up
__________________
Finally free!
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 09:22
|
#21
|
Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
Hmmm not bad - I just lack confidence and wish that the fairer sex would come up to me instead of me chatting them up
|
You know, they might*.
BUT HOKEY COKEY TO TECHNO MUSIC DOES YOU NO FAVOURS.
*won't ever
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 09:43
|
#22
|
Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
You know, they might*.
BUT HOKEY COKEY TO TECHNO MUSIC DOES YOU NO FAVOURS.
*won't ever
|
Until someone provides photographic/video evidence, I refuse to believe it. For reference, I don't remember that night past 1am - so it's highly likely that I was battered at the time.
__________________
Finally free!
|
|
|
6 Jun 2006, 14:16
|
#23
|
:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
the fairer sex would come up to me instead of me chatting them up
|
That only happens in films and with mental girls though
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
|
|
|
7 Jun 2006, 18:31
|
#24
|
USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
"first come first served"
|
Did you mean first served first cum?
__________________
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
|
|
|
7 Jun 2006, 20:01
|
#25
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,290
|
Re: Office Nights Out
Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
Whenever I go out, it's with my housemates. The two females out of us four are hot. My best friend is dating one of them, so they're close on the night. My other female housemate doesn't fancy me, I don't fancy her, and we're both on the pull. But everyone just assumes we're with each other - especially when we just go out together for laughs.
Discuss, etc
|
yes, that kind of sucks. I go out with a friend, his gf and a friend of hers from time to time. There is just nothing possible On the other hand, I'm having a good time and I usually blow any opportunity that prestens itself anyway, so I dont mind much.
__________________
im not tolerant, i just dont care.
|
|
|
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:00.
| |