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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 13:59   #1
JammyJim
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Morrissons Frozen Fries
Dont be fooled by the lovely packaging and the promise of potatoe goodness.

However the biggest 'fooling of all' was the 'you can put these under the grill for 10-12minutes'


Last night i followed these instructions and unusually i even set an alarm for 12minutes.

when i returned to the kitchen i was met with the following :


1. A solid wall of black smoke
2. The horrific stench of fire.


As soon as i stepped in my eyes began to burn like ive never felt before. i went over to the oven thinking 'oh well theyre going'...i opened up the grill bit and WHOOOMP out comes teh flames.

now im thinking 'oh shit'

i kill the power and turn everything off and run to my irish flatmate for help (he will know what to do!!!!! Irish people are always setting fire to things !)

he comes in and goes 'oh shit **** what do we do?'

we grab the fireblanket and i try to put it out that way. (we can barely see whats going on at this point and its a miracle the firealarm hasnt gone off)

i manage to get the charcoal remains (still on fire) out of the grill bit and onto the bit that opens up...still burning. but i cant get 'the whole thing' down without making myself into a burn victim.

Irish guy grabs the extinguisher and says 'maybe try some water'....so whilst he fiddles with getting that working i fill up a pot of water.....


NOW
in retrospect im quite glad that he managed to get the extinguisher working before i had the chance to throw water on it..apparnetly this is the worst thing to do because if theres oil or something itll splash back causing horrific burns to your face.......


ANYHOO

He opens fire with the extinguisher with a yelp of 'shit' because its far more powerful than either of us imagined. Fire goes out. Smoke continues to clog our lungs.

we exit kitchen posthaste into the corridor.

I say "im surprised the fire alarm hasnt gone off....i guess we better call the wardens..."
as soon as i finish this sentence the alarm directly above our head goes skitz and alerts everyone to my 'folly'.

40minutes, a fire truck, a warden, a rep from the management company and a de-smoke machine later we are back in the flat....the cooker is somewhat 'toast' and my eyes still burn.

THATS WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT


how bout you?!
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 13:59   #2
JammyJim
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries
oh....
i went and got a chinese afterwards.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:02   #3
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
Hehe. Oh you crazy guy.

I wouldn't have worried about the water thing, there wouldn't have been much grease on/in the grill. If it was a chip pan or a deep fat frier then you would certainly resemble my army men after my lil brother got a present of a magnifying glass in the summer.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:02   #4
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
See. Men are not supposed to cook. Leave that to the women.

You do have 'a women' don't you?
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:03   #5
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
not here i dont. :-(
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:04   #6
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
In future i would suggest you remove the packaging before placing under the grill
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:06   #7
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
oh i also had mucho embarassment standing outside waiting for the fire truck with everyone from our block going 'wow theres actually smoke coming from the window look!' and them all KNOWING IT WAS ME

im now known as the guy who burnt his fries :-(((




There were even tourists on the prom taking pictures of the smoke billowing out of our kitchen window.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:07   #8
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
well, you will find if you read the instructions that it probably says something like 'turn regularly' and/or 'grill under a medium heat' when i bet you had it on full


hehehe
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:10   #9
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
the only instructions that i remember distinctly were 'max power' and 'spread evenly' (of which i did both)
plus the little picture of a grill with 10-12min written on it.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:31   #10
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
i'm sure this won't add to your reputation as a hopeless computer geek.

why would it.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:31   #11
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
oh dear
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:34   #12
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
morrisons :(((((((((((((((((
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:34   #13
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
im now known as the guy who burnt his fries :-(((
There's a lot worse things to be known as, such as rent boy.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 14:46   #14
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
im now known as the guy who burnt his fries :-(((
This could all work in your favour, in future you'll never be asked to cook and you can force any person to cook for you saying "remember what happend when i tryed to cook chips!"

a work saver for future.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 17:23   #15
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
I bet you could get lots of money from Morrisons because of this.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 17:24   #16
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Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Obliterate
I bet you could get lots of money from Morrisons because of this.
he'd get more suing his parents for faulty gene codes.
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Unread 17 Jan 2005, 17:30   #17
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Exclamation Re: Morrissons Frozen Fries [Fire involved]
I laughed out loud in a large and generally silent computer lab.


Let's hope this has taught you a valuable lesson in life; never trust the time recommendations on the boxes of microwavable foodstuffs.
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