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19 Jun 2005, 00:04
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#1
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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A bad Saturday is
When you wake up at 12:00, even though you set your alarm for nine. Because, you know, you have things to do.
So you get up, and eventually hit the streets. It's incredibly hot, far, far too hot. You don't like this.
So you go back to your flat and take a second shower of the day.
To prepare you for the night ahead.
Which you know will be good to some degree.
It will involve lots of dancing to music you like, and lots of drinking.
And there's a woman who you are pretty sure has a fancy for you.
She's old. But she's hot.
You know the least you will get out of the night is a snog.
You do some dancing in your room to The Smiths.
You're eventually ready to hit the streets.
The club night starts at half six.
You get there at about quarter to eight.
You start settling in, thankful after a hard day that you are in good surroundings. You chat to someone who is making some clothes for you. Things are going well.
But you notice that the woman who was occupying your thoughts earlier isn't there.
Based on previous experience, this is perculiar.
You begin to wonder if she isn't coming.
Time passes.
You eventually get up, to go on one of your frequent forrays to the DJ box. By this point you fear the worst.
You get taliking to the DJ, who you know fairly well.
You eventually get onto the woman in question.
"I can't see Pat here tonight, though."
"Yeah, I got a third-hand message that she can't make it. She's ill."
:O
You wander off, utterly despondant. Not only would this woman have been a catch, but she would also have financed your entry into another club and further drinking when this night finished. Another club which now you cannot afford.
You have this all confirmed by your dressmaker friend.
You just drink, and smoke, and dance when you can. There's nothing more to do.
Eventually, your thoughts begin to focus on a boy who is there.
He is wearing a dress. He usually wears a dress. Although you paid him scant attention on previous occassions.
To you, there is nothing perculiar in this. You've seen it, and much more, all before.
You gather from talking to people that he may be something of an insecure loner.
But by golly, you find the dress kinky.
You keep focusing on this for the rest of the night.
You drink some more.
The night comes to an eventual end. You didn't win the raffle. Again. For the forty-eight time. You shout "It's ****ing rigged!", as you usually do on these occassions.
You hang around near the bar. People start leaving.
You keep an eye on the boy in the dress.
He begins to change near the bar area.
Again, you find nothing particularly weird about this. Everyone acts normally.
You catch a sight of what looks to be women's underwear.
He's finally fully changed.
You start tentatively stepping over towards him.
"I like you better in the dress. Very kinky. Rrrrrrrrr"
He looks at you, rather startled.
You realise momentarily that you have encoutered someone who is very insecure.
You talk a bit. He generally speaks too fast for you to follow.
You walk down the steps to the pavement outsaide.
You start talking some more.
You make it as obvious as possible that your are, for the purposes of this conversation, a predatory faggot.
Eventually, you get around to the question at hand.
"I'm straight, otherwise I'd be totally up for it. I wish I was bisexual."
What? You are too outraged to move. This is such a deep, deep betrayal of everything you have come to expect. You don't even know what it really means.
You just want to go home and nurse your wounds. You are semi-drunk and you've had enough by this point.
He's obviously not going to shift his position.
You leave him, as he edges closer to the taxis, with a hug, and a promise/threat that you will follow this matter up at a later date. You consider running to the end of the street and then shaking your fist theatrically, for effect.
You head home and buy a £2.20 buger on the way. You would be better eating a postcard, for all it does to fill up your stomach.
****.
"Bastard, utter, contemptible bastard", is all you can think as you make your way home.
Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 19 Jun 2005 at 00:11.
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19 Jun 2005, 00:08
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#2
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Caveat Lector
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 3,038
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Yeah that's what you get for believin in stereotypes. Not all transvestites are gay. :shocker:
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19 Jun 2005, 00:17
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#3
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He's obviously not going to shift his position.
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that's not the mm i know!!!
__________________
hi
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19 Jun 2005, 00:19
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#4
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Well, he was just waiting for a taxi. And I was pissed-off and tired, as I said. I could have forced the issue, but it would likely have ended in more heartache. I quit while I was ahead. (Behind.)
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19 Jun 2005, 00:22
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#5
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: A bad Saturday is
You listened to the Smiths, the old wifey you tried to pummel was called pat, and you tried to sausage someone who doesnt enjoy the man meat.
Im not sure you have a leg to stand on.
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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19 Jun 2005, 00:22
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#6
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Why did he get changed?
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19 Jun 2005, 00:24
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#7
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
Why did he get changed?
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No idea. If he'd been walking, it would have been understandable.
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19 Jun 2005, 00:25
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#8
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I could have forced the issue, but it would likely have ended in more heartache.
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Backache, more like, after digging the hole, blah, blah, blah, patio, blah, blah, blah, rohypnol, blah, blah, blah, rape, blah, blah, blah, etc.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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19 Jun 2005, 00:26
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#9
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Insanity Prawn Boy!
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In a bush where you can't find me
Posts: 2,474
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
You listened to the Smiths, the old wifey you tried to pummel was called pat, and you tried to sausage someone who doesnt enjoy the man meat.
Im not sure you have a leg to stand on.
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he didn't want a leg to stand on, he wanted a cock to sit on
__________________
They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We shall remember them.
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19 Jun 2005, 00:29
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#10
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
You listened to the Smiths,
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What's wrong with the Smiths?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
the old wifey you tried to pummel was called pat,
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The name is deceptive, I assure you.
She's had four husbands, btw.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
and you tried to sausage someone who doesnt enjoy the man meat.
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I do this all the time. It's the closest thing I have to a calling in life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
Im not sure you have a leg to stand on.
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What Dave said.
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19 Jun 2005, 00:42
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#11
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Caveat Lector
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 3,038
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Re: A bad Saturday is
The Smiths rock, I tell you
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19 Jun 2005, 02:47
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#12
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: A bad Saturday is
The thoughts that really stick in my mind about this thread are:
1) Can you dance to the Smiths? I doubt I can.
2) Surely everyone called Pat is 40, smokes thirty a day, has a restraining order set against her, and has been convicted of GBH on more than one occasion.
3) Hugs are cool, but not with people who you really don't want to hug, but you're just being polite to.
4) I've been to few nightclubs where I've left in a state other than despondent and sexually frustrated. But then there are so few decent nightclubs here. Gigs and bars are another matter.
That is all.
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19 Jun 2005, 02:59
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#13
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A bad Saturday is
A Bad Saturday is one where theres no live football at the local at 3pm when you finish playing Golf.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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19 Jun 2005, 03:24
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#14
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: A bad Saturday is
A 5-outer with one card to come knocks you out of a very big tournament.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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19 Jun 2005, 03:25
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#15
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Then a 4-outer with one card to come takes half your chips in a reasonable sized tournament.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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19 Jun 2005, 03:32
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#16
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: A bad Saturday is
well maybe if you werent crap at poker.
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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19 Jun 2005, 03:34
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#17
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Don't even fkin start!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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19 Jun 2005, 03:39
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#18
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Don't even fkin start!
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Magnus Magnusson up there has started, hence you HAVE to Finish it.
One way or another.*
*preferably without involving lubricant of some description.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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19 Jun 2005, 03:41
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#19
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: A bad Saturday is
UR STUPPIT NB3!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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19 Jun 2005, 04:00
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#20
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: A bad Saturday is
You can't spell stupid.
ps, You are Scottish.
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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19 Jun 2005, 04:03
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#21
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: A bad Saturday is
And now in the 40+4 i've had my KK cracked by the same guy (all in the first time a **** off raise the second ... both by me) with QJo TWICE!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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19 Jun 2005, 05:15
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#22
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
And now in the 40+4 i've had my KK cracked by the same guy (all in the first time a **** off raise the second ... both by me) with QJo TWICE!
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Remind me why you didnt just cash in when you made stupid amounts of money and leave the game, never to return?
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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19 Jun 2005, 07:39
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#23
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share the <3
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 2,709
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Re: A bad Saturday is
You can't really dance to the smiths, theres a groove there but you can't really move to it.
__________________
Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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19 Jun 2005, 08:10
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#24
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,331
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
She's old. But she's hot.]
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Stay away from my grandma
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
[b]"I'm straight, otherwise I'd be totally up for it. I wish I was bisexual."
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Ah, the old you're great but I'm not attracted to people of your sex approach. Never fails.
__________________
They mostly come at night. Mostly.
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19 Jun 2005, 10:06
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#25
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Love's Sweet Exile
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Living on a Stair (Now Sword-less)
Posts: 2,371
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Dancing to the smiths requires lots of arm- and leg-flailing. It's quite an art form.
__________________
--SYMM--
Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do
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19 Jun 2005, 10:57
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#26
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: A bad Saturday is
What confuses me is that he said he wishes he was bisexual.
Surely if he wished he was he wanted to shag you, therefore, where's the huge leap between wanting to shag you and actually shagging you?
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19 Jun 2005, 11:13
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#27
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Powering your life...
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Dublin
Posts: 400
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Re: A bad Saturday is
MY gran is called Pat and happens to be quite ill with the sniffles at present. I wonder if she has been leading a murky double life?
__________________
Reality is only a perception.
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19 Jun 2005, 11:14
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#28
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Powering your life...
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Dublin
Posts: 400
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Oh, and I sympathise MM- if its any consolation, I sure that isn't the first time he's had such a thing happpen to him- you're not the only one!
__________________
Reality is only a perception.
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19 Jun 2005, 12:27
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#29
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A bad Saturday is
When MM got home with her, she would undoubtedly find that she was called Patrick before the op. This wouldnt stop him, and if anything, would probably be a huge bonus.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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19 Jun 2005, 18:37
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#30
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,312
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaneED
What confuses me is that he said he wishes he was bisexual.
Surely if he wished he was he wanted to shag you, therefore, where's the huge leap between wanting to shag you and actually shagging you?
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A 6'4" bloke with a queer hairstyle lobbing his cock in your arse?
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19 Jun 2005, 18:54
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#31
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaneED
Surely if he wished he was he wanted to shag you, therefore, where's the huge leap between wanting to shag you and actually shagging you?
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Don't ask me what goes through the minds of these people. We can only guess.
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21 Jun 2005, 09:14
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#32
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Don't ask me what goes through the minds of these people. We can only guess.
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maybe he was playing hard to get. you could have offered him some kind of trial basis. free sample, that kind of thing.
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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21 Jun 2005, 10:51
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#33
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NOT a yuppie....yet
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: a flat......
Posts: 308
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
MMs post
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What the bloody hell!
what happend to just going up and chatting up random women!
__________________
Ok dead end jobs goodbye, time to study! time to learn, time to expand the mind......time to get really drunk with 18 year olds from quiet middle class backrounds!
Quote:
Originally posted by an anon neg-repper
all your posts are shit. it's like a more accurate turbonegro song
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i post on a internet forum!
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21 Jun 2005, 16:01
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#34
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A bad Saturday is
I'd rather chat up random men atm.
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21 Jun 2005, 16:11
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#35
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NOT a yuppie....yet
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: a flat......
Posts: 308
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I'd rather chat up random men atm.
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Well nothing wrong with that, now i understand your oritention your story makes more sense
__________________
Ok dead end jobs goodbye, time to study! time to learn, time to expand the mind......time to get really drunk with 18 year olds from quiet middle class backrounds!
Quote:
Originally posted by an anon neg-repper
all your posts are shit. it's like a more accurate turbonegro song
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i post on a internet forum!
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21 Jun 2005, 16:35
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#36
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.
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,382
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Re: A bad Saturday is
you didn't grasp his orientation from the story itself?
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21 Jun 2005, 17:25
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#37
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The Restaurant at the end of the Universe
Posts: 558
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
You chat to someone who is making some clothes for you.
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This just begs for a what kind of clothes question. I will accept a referral thread as an answer too if this has been talked about already.
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21 Jun 2005, 17:56
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#38
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Three quarter length jacket, and a waistcoat of a similar length.
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21 Jun 2005, 23:53
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#39
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: A bad Saturday is
i took 'digging the hole' to be a euphamism.
but its equally possible that the old guy got confused.
they do seem to.
__________________
hi
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21 Jun 2005, 23:57
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#40
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: A bad Saturday is
he didnt mention putting the body in the hole in the ground, or repaving it.
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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21 Jun 2005, 23:59
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#41
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaneED
What confuses me is that he said he wishes he was bisexual.
Surely if he wished he was he wanted to shag you, therefore, where's the huge leap between wanting to shag you and actually shagging you?
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I wish I was bisexual too.
Men are such sluts. And less inhibited. And generally have much better personalities.
Kind of seems like "the easy way out," like suicide and Canada.
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22 Jun 2005, 00:05
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#42
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3
he didnt mention putting the body in the hole in the ground, or repaving it.
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see
this is why i can't murder people.
i'd just have to get staff to do that
__________________
hi
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22 Jun 2005, 00:12
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#43
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
see
this is why i can't murder people.
i'd just have to get staff to do that
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meh.
Manual labor has its upsides. It's a good workout; lifting the same weight 75 times in a row just seems so boring, digging a nice hole provides its own encouragement. Besides, outdoors you can get some color. I look much better with some sun; most people do (and by 'some sun', I don't mean rubbing your body down with that radioactive extract of carrot or whatever that seems so popular among women in my area).
I guess really the question is;
If you do manual labor, and no one is around to see, does it count?
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22 Jun 2005, 00:30
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#44
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: A bad Saturday is
somebody pos rep you for that, i'm afraid i can't. come on irc
its not too complicated dda will get there soon. its #forums you want
that was damn good comedy.
__________________
hi
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22 Jun 2005, 12:49
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#45
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: A bad Saturday is
Somehow, this picture seems appropriate
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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23 Jun 2005, 02:00
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#46
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: A bad Saturday is
stew just wants to outpost me.
or is that ste.
**** knows.
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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