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14 Feb 2004, 19:15
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#1
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 118
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My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon. I phoned NHS Direct and they advised me to stop hitting her with a spoon. It took fifteen minutes to get through but it was time well spent.
How I got into this situation is a story in itself. I was in this club when a tremendously attractive young girl actually started talking to me. We were getting on so well, after fifteen minutes of small talk I invited her back to my flat for sex. Well she gave me a filthy look, dropped her cigarrette in my pint of bitter and stormed off.
When I got home, I was in such a rage but I couldn't find my computer (yes, I'm still hitting it with a spoon). Feeling this desparate need to hit something with a spoon, I took my frustration out on my mother and started hitting her with a spoon and discovered that when I did, she made a funny noise.
LIFES A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE
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14 Feb 2004, 19:18
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#2
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lolly roffle
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 5,514
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
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Originally Posted by Billy No Mates
How I got into this situation is a story in itself. I was in this club when a tremendously attractive young girl actually started talking to me. We were getting on so well, after fifteen minutes of small talk I invited her back to my flat for sex. Well she gave me a filthy look, dropped her cigarrette in my pint of bitter and stormed off.
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You should have offered her some money and then you would have been well in  .
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eXcessum
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14 Feb 2004, 19:23
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#3
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 118
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
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Originally Posted by JC
You should have offered her some money and then you would have been well in . |
I'd all ready wasted £1.50 buying her half a cider - I wasn't about to risk more 
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14 Feb 2004, 19:33
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#4
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lolly roffle
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 5,514
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
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Originally Posted by Billy No Mates
I'd all ready wasted £1.50 buying her half a cider - I wasn't about to risk more |
She must have been a real bitch then mate. You bought her a drink, you made the effort to chat with her, you were willing to let her sleep with you, what more could a girl possibly want?!
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eXcessum
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14 Feb 2004, 19:45
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#5
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TashTastic
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,354
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
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Originally Posted by JC
You bought her a drink, you made the effort to chat with her, you were willing to let her sleep with you, what more could a girl possibly want?!
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your credit card
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Its only gay if you enjoy it!
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14 Feb 2004, 19:46
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#6
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Weeeeee
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: leeds
Posts: 586
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
if i started hitting u with a spoon u'd make a funny noise too
like ouch ouch ouch
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:gollum: :gollum: :gollum: :gollum:
One load of gollums is enough for anyone.Ta
DM.
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14 Feb 2004, 21:00
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#7
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
£1.50 for half a cider? bloody hell!!!!!
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lazy
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14 Feb 2004, 21:09
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#8
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
Shouldnt you be thinking about more creative things, like hittin“ her with a baseball bat or chopping her with a nail clipper?
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Bizarrely overrated
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14 Feb 2004, 22:47
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#9
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Dirte
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,573
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
Poor billy, it's not a wonder he's got no mates, it seems like the people around him are all smelly gooses!
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15 Feb 2004, 01:22
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#10
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7 Dimensional Puddleduck
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Not where I want to be :(
Posts: 1,556
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
Try a fork.
A tuning fork.
Lollzeroffle. 
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<CmdrCyrax> I'm sure GDers are bastions of the civilized world. 
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16 Feb 2004, 10:21
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
there is no spoon.
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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17 Feb 2004, 01:35
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#12
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
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Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
£1.50 for half a cider? bloody hell!!!!!
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__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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17 Feb 2004, 02:28
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#13
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: My mother makes a funny noise when I hit her with a spoon
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Originally Posted by Billy No Mates
LIFES A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE
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The problem is, though, your mother is also your wife, and she's dead.
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