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23 May 2003, 20:21
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#1
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Coffin Dodger
A young man was walking home one evening , when he heard a faint sound
behind him
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
He ignored it for a while, but the sound grew louder
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
He turned, and saw what he thought was a coffin coming towards him
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
He tried to ignore it , and simply quickened his pace ... the coffin
appeared to speed up too.
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
Now a bit concerned , the young man broke into a brisk jog ... the coffin
kept pace, and seemed to be gaining on him
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
Realising it was gaining on him , the young man broke into a full blown
sprint ... the coffin was still gaining
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
Reaching his house, he fumbled for his keys , jumped inside , and locked
the door behind him
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
The coffin smashed through the door, knocking it off its hinges. In terror
, the young man fled upstairs
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
He retreated to the bathroom , closed the door , and prayed.
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
The coffin smashed its way through the door. In a panic , he reached for
anything he could find to throw at it
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
He threw a bar of Imperial Leather ... the coffin kept coming
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
He threw a can of Lynx deodorant .... it bounced off to one side
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
He threw a bottle of aftershave , it smashed but had no effect .....
*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*BUMP*
He threw a bottle of Benylin ..... the coffin stopped.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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23 May 2003, 20:22
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#2
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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thats terrible
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
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Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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23 May 2003, 21:34
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#3
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a new low in getting high
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,810
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__________________
There’s trouble on every corner,
And you need a place to hide,
All the bad things follow us down,
I want you by my side.
We’re hitting a new low.
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23 May 2003, 21:38
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#4
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Anon.
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: not in Milton Keynes
Posts: 491
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23 May 2003, 21:38
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#5
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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*groan*
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Where ever you go, there you are.
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23 May 2003, 22:02
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#6
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Twang Twang
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Where I live
Posts: 837
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heh
__________________
"I'm an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard"
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23 May 2003, 22:07
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
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23 May 2003, 22:14
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#8
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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why does the phrase 'ugly, ugly children come to mind so suddenly and so randomly?
and double
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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23 May 2003, 22:15
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#9
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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So I said to this train driver, "I want to go to Paris."
He said, "Eurostar?"
I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin."
So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
Now did you know all male tennis players are witches, for example Goran, even he's a witch.
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23 May 2003, 22:17
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#10
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nodrog
So I said to this train driver, "I want to go to Paris."
He said, "Eurostar?"
I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin."
So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
Now did you know all male tennis players are witches, for example Goran, even he's a witch.
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when is euthanasia acceptable? discuss
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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23 May 2003, 22:19
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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knock knock
who's there?
knock knock
who's there?
knock knock
who's there?
knock knock
who's there?
Philip Glass
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23 May 2003, 22:21
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#12
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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who the fag is Philip Glass?
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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23 May 2003, 22:30
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 482
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How do you stop a terrorist making a pineapple into a bomb?
Eat it (the pineapple, not the terrorist).
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23 May 2003, 22:45
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#14
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7 Dimensional Puddleduck
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Not where I want to be :(
Posts: 1,556
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I'm giving up and becoming a Vulcan
__________________
<CmdrCyrax> I'm sure GDers are bastions of the civilized world.
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