 |
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:12
|
#1
|
|
Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
|
How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
and not get dumped.
Suggestions?
The guys an utter knob job who obviously fancies her and keeps having a go at me behind my back, everytime i see him he outright blanks me.
I want to hurt him although I'm not usually a violent person.
All ideas welcome!
__________________
(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:17
|
#2
|
|
Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Gay Nick
10 Vodka Red Bull's
Vaseline
Pen
Used Condom
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:19
|
#3
|
|
Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Pay someone to infect him with arse cancer.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:19
|
#4
|
|
Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Vaseline? Whats the fun!!
__________________
(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:19
|
#5
|
|
Insanity Prawn Boy!
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In a bush where you can't find me
Posts: 2,474
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
take him into a dark alley and kill him in anyway you see fit. put the body into a lot of plastic bags and then put it in the boot of your drive. Drive your car to some woods at least 50 miles away from where you live. Dig a hole 6ft long, 4ft wide and 12ft deep. Fill in hole with soil and quicklime, making sure to leave the area where you dug your hole in the same state you found it. Take car to a different location and torch it along with the clothes you are wearing and anything else you may have on your possesion. Go home, phone police and report car stolen.
NB Ensure to carry out the above late at night
__________________
They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We shall remember them.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:22
|
#6
|
|
Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
**** him hard up his virgin ass so he knows who is the daddy of the rock.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:25
|
#7
|
|
________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Does his name happen to be Ranjit?
__________________
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:25
|
#8
|
|
Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Demon Dave
take him into a dark alley and kill him in anyway you see fit. put the body into a lot of plastic bags and then....
|
If you'd have stopped there and continued with '...feed him to your giant, 12foot high, walking, talking, singing, dancing, mean-green-mother-from-out-of-space venus fly trap' you would have garnered my respect from now until the end of time.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
Last edited by Phalon; 16 Mar 2005 at 00:46.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:26
|
#9
|
|
Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
i sometimes forget how much you people scare me.
__________________
(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:27
|
#10
|
|
Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by deerbarn
i sometimes forget how much you people scare me.
|
Only the ones youve met.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:44
|
#11
|
|
I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
a girl's 'best friend' is a man.
gd's suggestion is to shag him because 'he won't like that'.
dear lord where did i go wrong?
:honestly people:
__________________
hi
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:45
|
#12
|
|
:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Play dirty back.
Why physically floor him?
Spreading a rumour such as:
-He has contracted an STI and told your girlfriend confidentally and you shouldn't tell anyone but oh it's so funny.
-Some guy came onto him in a club and he went back to the guy's house, but your girlfriend wouldn't tell you any more.
-Your girlfriend saw him piss himself when she was round at his house, but he pretended nothing happened.
Anything that utilises your girlfriend in it. The key is to make the people you're telling "keep it a secret". Of course they won't, but that way it takes more time to get back to her. And hopefully by that time, the rumour will have evolved so that neither you nor your girlfriend are involved in the story.
Win!
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:48
|
#13
|
|
Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Demon Dave
take him into a dark alley and kill him in anyway you see fit. put the body into a lot of plastic bags and then put it in the boot of your drive. Drive your car to some woods at least 50 miles away from where you live. Dig a hole 6ft long, 4ft wide and 12ft deep. Fill in hole with soil and quicklime, making sure to leave the area where you dug your hole in the same state you found it. Take car to a different location and torch it along with the clothes you are wearing and anything else you may have on your possesion. Go home, phone police and report car stolen.
NB Ensure to carry out the above late at night
|
Report your car stolen 1 week before.
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:51
|
#14
|
|
BlueTuba
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 6,339
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
do something to get her to rave on about your greatness with him 24/7, and do the guy mentally.
much more fun to watch, even if it requires potentially greater effort.
__________________
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 00:57
|
#15
|
|
Not Dark or Handsome
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Cwmbru
Posts: 2,588
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Fix him up with someone!
OR
Write her a stalkerish love-letter. Don't sign it, just write it with 'accidental' hints as to who it may be from (him).
__________________
"You can't drink a pint of Bovril."
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 01:01
|
#16
|
|
Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Unless of course she shares those 'stalkerish' feelings.
Bye bye girly.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 01:06
|
#17
|
|
Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Share your concerns with your girlfriend. Then beat the hell out of her, grab a pipe and a '45, bust up his house and shoot his mother and sister.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 01:19
|
#18
|
|
:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
There's only one way to solve this really though.
KNACKER WHACKERS at dawn.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 01:21
|
#19
|
|
Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Cockfight.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 01:47
|
#20
|
|
Not Dark or Handsome
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Cwmbru
Posts: 2,588
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Phalon
Unless of course she shares those 'stalkerish' feelings.
Bye bye girly.
|
If that turned out to be the case, he's best rid, tbh.
__________________
"You can't drink a pint of Bovril."
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 01:53
|
#21
|
|
________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Or you could do a TSM [/bad joke]
__________________
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 01:58
|
#22
|
|
Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
He sounds like a faggot.
Ridicule his clothing in a loud and bitchy way, making sure all your friends, especially your gf, notice.
Comment on his gauche and coarse behaviour and how he is 'no gentleman'
..
..
Oh **** it, I dunno, practise on Yahwe, when you've made him cry, start on the 'best mate'.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 02:01
|
#23
|
|
the Sacred Pervert
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,492
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
Or you could do a TSM [/not a bad joke btw]
|
OR
duct tape him securely in your closet, open your closet door a little so he could see your bed, and make some violent love with your girlfriend just to show him who the real bitch is
__________________
"....some might say, we will find a brighter day...."
-Oasis
Veneratio | Insomnia | F-Crew | Subh
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 02:33
|
#24
|
|
deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Tell ur girl that he once told you he almost never brushes his teeth and how hilarious u think that is, but dont want her to spread that around coz u dont want people to make fun of him
__________________
"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 02:40
|
#25
|
|
Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
why do all the things suggested, or nearly all of them, involve homosexual acts :/
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 02:43
|
#26
|
|
deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
heh you could also just beat the crap outof him nxt time u "find" him sniffin her panties when hes at her place
and just stick to ur story when he denies it, what a sicko
__________________
"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 03:03
|
#27
|
|
deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by KaneED
why do all the things suggested, or nearly all of them, involve homosexual acts :/
|
girls love gays
__________________
"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 03:39
|
#28
|
|
so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Deerbarn this is how you go about it:
Step 1.) Be real nice (nothing over the top ... just nice) to your gf's friend for at least the next week (make sure your gf sees this).
After a week suggest to your gf that you dont think her m8 likes you cause after being nice to him he's still treating you nasty but you're willing to work at it for her sake.
Give it a month and then "crack on" to your gf's m8.
Most likely he'll run and tell your gf about it.
If you've set it up right (occassionally pointing out in a very subtle way that he's trying to split you up) then you're gf will think it's another ploy against you (one she has proof of).
You tell your gf that he cracked onto you but you didnt want to embarass you or him by telling you.
At this stage it's your word against his so you need to have had one of your (close) friends overhear the convo and back you up.
Step 2.) ><
Step 3.) PROFIT!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 03:51
|
#29
|
|
Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Dace, if I were you, I'd consider becoming a monk at this point, at least that way you'll have a bona-fide reason for being celibate.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 03:53
|
#30
|
|
Drink is Good
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,122
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
what dace said
__________________
Can we please have a moment of silence...........
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 04:00
|
#31
|
|
Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 04:39
|
#32
|
|
Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Right, im giving the turd taster one last chance. Ive invited him out with us on tuesday. I hope at the least he will give me a chance to verbally abuse the fat small ugly (bi-sexual so ive heard) ****.
Oh and she has already noticed that he hates my guts.
xx
Stephen
__________________
(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 07:21
|
#33
|
|
Heh, Leeds !
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In The Redfern
Posts: 3,790
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by deerbarn
Right, im giving the turd taster one last chance. Ive invited him out with us on tuesday. I hope at the least he will give me a chance to verbally abuse the fat small ugly (bi-sexual so ive heard) ****.
Oh and she has already noticed that he hates my guts.
xx
Stephen
|
There's is your opening, ask girly what his problem is as you have tried to get on with him but he is just being an arse.
You = good guy
smelly fag boy = big bad girly tossface
~Vaio~
__________________
The George Harrison of BlueTuba
Yes, I know he is dead !
Last edited by Vaio; 16 Mar 2005 at 09:19.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 08:12
|
#34
|
|
Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
What the **** is wrong with a girly tossface 
__________________
..look
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 09:20
|
#35
|
|
Heh, Leeds !
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In The Redfern
Posts: 3,790
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
What the **** is wrong with a girly tossface |
They are tossfaces with girly attributes
~Vaio~
__________________
The George Harrison of BlueTuba
Yes, I know he is dead !
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 10:01
|
#36
|
|
a little bit broken
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,405
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
he wants to shag your girlfriend
he knows it, she knows it and you know it
so just be honest with your girl about the fact that it is pissing you off a bit
you need to know that you can be open with your partner or it aint gonna be happy ever after
m
xx
__________________
i came, i saw, i made a bit of a mess
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 10:58
|
#37
|
|
Born Sinful
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Loughborough, UK
Posts: 4,059
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
I'd still find it a bit offputting having him circling around like a vulture waiting for a chance to nip in.
In fact, tell her that.
"I find it a bit offputting having him circling around like a vluture waiting for a chance to nip in."
__________________
Worth dying for. Worth killing for. Worth going to hell for. Amen.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 11:27
|
#38
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Be extra friendly with him, in an almost camp way.
Smile lots, take interest in anything he does, no matter how lame.
This serves no use except to really annoy him.
And yeah, what DM said. Comment on his coarse behaviour.
Take the higher moral ground, your girlfriend will soon see him for the cock he is.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 11:46
|
#39
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 278
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Some years ago now i had a similar problem, except the guy in question was actually staying in the dorm room next to my then partner, so i knew the second i left he would be round. I was young and foolish and this really got to me, caused a great many problems for me and my girlfriend at the time, lots of trust issues. If i told her i was uncomfortable she took that as meaning i didnt trust her, which i suppose is a correct interpretation.
Anyway, this drove me crazy, especially as i had to go away for work atleast once a month. This all came to a head when i'd been away for around ten days, come home, call my girlfriend and ask where she was, only to find out she is having a meal with this guy, the red mist decended and made my way to this restaurant, stupidly i'd brought a novalty light/knife for a friend which i had in my pocket. As i pulled up at the restaurant they were just walking out, knife in hand i moved towards them, thankfully my girlfriend saw what i had and ran towards me to keep some distance between me and the other chap. Some shouting ensued i ended up threatening him that if i ever saw him with her again he was a dead man, usual adolescent rubbish.
As you can imagine this relationship didnt last much longer, the chap stayed away completely, but the whole problem came down to a trust issue, if you trust someone 110% and that person is right for you, then you should find that nothing they do makes you jelous. My current squeeze has male friends who she occasionally see's and yet not a hint of jelousy ever enters my mind. I think thats an extremely good guage, if someone is really your ideal partner.
Hope this helps
________
SABRINAXXX LIVE
Last edited by ceres; 31 Aug 2011 at 06:55.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 12:19
|
#40
|
|
Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
but what happens if you assume all women are sluts? because they are.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 12:28
|
#41
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 278
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Then your homosexual.
________
Colorado medical marijuana
Last edited by ceres; 31 Aug 2011 at 06:55.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 16:44
|
#42
|
|
Not Dark or Handsome
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Cwmbru
Posts: 2,588
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by ceres
Then your homosexual.
|
His homosexual what?
__________________
"You can't drink a pint of Bovril."
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 16:59
|
#43
|
|
Choice of Whacker sir?
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 679
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
knacker whackers at dawn!
__________________
* thanos sets mode: -brain The_Shadow_Man
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 17:00
|
#44
|
|
Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Most Gd posters have problems getting a girlfriend. deerbarn has one but he wants to punch her best friend in the face.
You'd never guess he's from liverpool would you?
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 17:02
|
#45
|
|
Anal Crumb
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,126
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
At least I dont use cemtex
__________________
(MarilynManson) Im from Scotland
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 17:04
|
#46
|
|
Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Why don't you tell me more about your relationship problems and we'll see how much of me dies inside.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 17:07
|
#47
|
|
overtired
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,900
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Most Gd posters have problems getting a girlfriend. deerbarn has one but he wants to punch her best friend in the face.
You'd never guess he's from liverpool would you?
|
"calm down, calm down"
"dey do doh, don't dey doh"
etc 
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 18:11
|
#48
|
|
home wrecker
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: The other side of the galaxy ;)
Posts: 1,041
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
what madi said.
secret option number two, tell him (directly or via a trusted third party) she said she was "interested" in him. see if he becomes more obvious in the next week or so. confront both parties with this and see what happens.
__________________
May the Farce be with you...
#pr0nstars - a pimp is for life, not just for christmas
|
|
|
|
|
16 Mar 2005, 18:20
|
#49
|
|
Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
|
Re: How to floor your gf's best mate (male)
become his best buddy and keep confiding in him all the times/positions/noises you had during sex with this girl he fancies. That'll get shot of him*.
*either that or he'll kill you
__________________
bastard bastard bastard bastard
|
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
 Linear Mode
|
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:07.
| |
Treasure Diver
Alien Commander
Magic Ball
