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1 Nov 2006, 01:12
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#1
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Married to a Terrorist
I just returned from a vacation to New Hampshire in New England. Flew in to and out of Manchester.
I took my wife to see the fall foliage. In California it is green the year round. It was quite pretty.
Took a boat ride on Lake Winnipesaukee (common pronunciation).
A fine time was had by all then it was time to return home.
We arrived a few hour early as we were urged to so that we would have ample time to get through the inspections necessary before being allowed into the the boarding area for the planes.
We obediently put all lotions and pastes (limited to 3 ounce or smaller containers) into a one-quart see through baggy so that they could be inspected to insure that we weren't bringing on any bomb components disguised as toothpaste.
We separated out all of our metal objects and put them into a basket so that we could get through the metal detector.
We took off our shoes so that we could be seen not to have explosives contained in our shoes.
We took off our coats so they could be cleared for weapons.
Confidently we went through the metal detector and put our shoes back on.
It was then that they pulled my wife aside and told her that her handbag had tested positive for explosives. Nitroglycerine was detected on the bag.
"Do you have medication?" "erm, no."
"Then how did the nitroglycerine get on your purse?" My wife was begining to get a bit perturbed by this point. "There isn't any nitroglycerine on or in my purse."
"Then why is it testing positive?"
"A very good question but how am I supposed to know," the wife replies.
"We are going to have to pat you down."
"Pat away!"
The screener determined that it may have been glycerine in her hand lotion which had gotten on the bag's handle and given a false positive. However, despite that, an "Incident Report" had to be filled out. My wife was informed that she would be put in a computer and should the incident be repeated that she would be investigated and potentially placed on the "No Fly" list.
My wife is a white woman of mature years (somewhere sllightly beyond middle age). Now, she may be labled as a terrorist.
I found the entire adventure rediculous and mildly amusing.
My wife was somewhat less amused.
__________________
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
Last edited by dda; 1 Nov 2006 at 01:17.
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1 Nov 2006, 01:22
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#2
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Insomniac
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 3,583
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
i find it amusing that they dont realise just how volatile nitroglycerine is.
a handle is the LAST place you want to put it.
only someone incompetant would believe there was really nitroglycerine on it, rather then a simple false positive
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1 Nov 2006, 02:31
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
I went through a similar inspection in the US. Those guys confiscated my $50 colone. I was pissed. Soon they will be checking up our butts to make sure nothing explosive is placed there.
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1 Nov 2006, 02:51
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#4
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Insanity Prawn Boy!
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In a bush where you can't find me
Posts: 2,474
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
I don't care how new your England, Manchester is not in Hampshire
__________________
They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We shall remember them.
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1 Nov 2006, 04:27
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#5
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sardaukar100
I went through a similar inspection in the US. Those guys confiscated my $50 colone. I was pissed. Soon they will be checking up our butts to make sure nothing explosive is placed there.
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Trust me, on a bad morning after a night of beer and chicken hot wings, checking up my ass for an explosion is possibly the easiest way to get a facelift this side of Beverley Hills.
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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1 Nov 2006, 08:20
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#6
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
The plane checks aren't as stringent as that here (in my experiences) - they just put you through a scanner and if you don't bleep then you aren't a terrorist!
Being put on that list must be a real laugh
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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1 Nov 2006, 10:47
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#7
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deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
The plane checks aren't as stringent as that here (in my experiences) - they just put you through a scanner and if you don't bleep then you aren't a terrorist!
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Except when you look back over your shoulder with a grin on your face
__________________
"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
Last edited by Alessio; 1 Nov 2006 at 10:56.
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1 Nov 2006, 14:46
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#8
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Bad Girl
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: right here..right now
Posts: 1,055
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
well i allways knew women were dangerous :-)
__________________
R1 - noob
R2,3,4, - ICD | R5 -ICD HC |R6 - HR Command | R7 - HR Command/NoS
R8,9,9.5,- HR HC /NoS Exec | R10 - HR HC | R10.5 - HR HC (FYTFO with LCH)
R11 -> NOW HR HC
(a round history not condusive to suceeding in exams, having a life or much sleep )
I'm not misunderstood ... I'm EVIL
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1 Nov 2006, 14:56
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#9
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
Who says white middle-aged middle-class can't be disgruntled with society and turn to terrorism for solace?
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1 Nov 2006, 17:24
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#10
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PA Team
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 7,449
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
On the Richard and Judy show (I watched it once), apparently Judy gets picked out in all the random checks as a middle aged white well known woman. Richard never gets done.
And tbh, if there are all these checks, why aren't suicide bombers just swallowing stuff and letting it explode later? Make it out of some sort of plastic..
__________________
r8-10 RaH r10.5-12 MISTU
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1 Nov 2006, 17:29
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#11
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Insomniac
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 3,583
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
richard should have been 'done', and sentanced after his ali-g impression
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1 Nov 2006, 17:34
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#12
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BlueTuba
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 6,339
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
richard madeley is a hero considering he has to put up with that woman.
__________________
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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1 Nov 2006, 19:46
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#13
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NOT a yuppie....yet
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: a flat......
Posts: 308
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
On my back from aus i had a 2.1 litre bottle of lemon squash i thought i would not be able to take it with me yet amazingly i got on both planes with it, all they asked was for me to drink some to prove it was not an explosive, i mean cmon if i was a terrorist going to blow up the plane drinking a little explosive would not really bother me tbh.
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Ok dead end jobs goodbye, time to study! time to learn, time to expand the mind......time to get really drunk with 18 year olds from quiet middle class backrounds!
Quote:
Originally posted by an anon neg-repper
all your posts are shit. it's like a more accurate turbonegro song
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i post on a internet forum!
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1 Nov 2006, 20:28
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#14
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TashTastic
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,354
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
Quote:
Originally Posted by The General8
On my back from aus i had a 2.1 litre bottle of lemon squash i thought i would not be able to take it with me yet amazingly i got on both planes with it, all they asked was for me to drink some to prove it was not an explosive, i mean cmon if i was a terrorist going to blow up the plane drinking a little explosive would not really bother me tbh.
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When I went to Munich (about a month ago) I was very annoyed that I had to pass my water over to the security guys to be thrown away.
All they said was I can buy more on the other side. But I got my 2 litres from Tesco for under a pound before I left. At duty free WH Smiths it cost me £2.50 for a litre.
Robbing bastards
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Its only gay if you enjoy it!
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1 Nov 2006, 21:06
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#15
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
IT'S A CONSPIRACY
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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1 Nov 2006, 21:44
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#16
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaneED
Who says white middle-aged middle-class can't be disgruntled with society and turn to terrorism for solace?
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In my wife's case, the liklihood would be that she would blow me up.
__________________
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
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5 Nov 2006, 07:14
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#17
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Bona Fide Jesus Freak
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the Word of the Lord
Posts: 765
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
What is sad is that peanuts are one of the components of dynamite. Are they now testing for peanuts as a potential explosive element?
__________________
Matthew 24:9 (New International Version) "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me."
Who the hell gave you posrep you christian fundamentalist?
god is bollox, mkay and you are not discussing it
You're not the voice of Christianity di**head.
CT R22-20, [1up] R18-16, TGV R15,
The Illuminati - [NoS] - R14-13
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5 Nov 2006, 11:27
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#18
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Married to a Terrorist
How dare they so mistreat a Lady.
Shameless dogs.
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hi
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