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28 Mar 2005, 21:21
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#51
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I am so great with women
How many pints had you had by this point?
I need to know the beer quotient effects that are applicable.
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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28 Mar 2005, 21:33
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#52
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
"a couple"
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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28 Mar 2005, 21:36
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#53
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I am so great with women
Her chins or your pints?
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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28 Mar 2005, 21:44
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#54
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
She was slim.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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28 Mar 2005, 21:49
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#55
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I am so great with women
I notice the use of 'was', as in 'was slim, before she went on the SuperSize-It diet'
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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28 Mar 2005, 21:51
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#56
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
She was slim when i met her 3 nights ago.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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28 Mar 2005, 21:52
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#57
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Insanity Prawn Boy!
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In a bush where you can't find me
Posts: 2,474
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Re: I am so great with women
Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe,
And gleefullye their handes did rubbe,
In expectatione of revelrie,
For 'twas the houre known as happye.
Greate botelles of wine did they quaffe,
And hadde a reallye good laffe.
'Til drunkennesse held full dominione,
For 'twas two for the price of one.
But after wine and meade and sac,
Man must have a massive snack,
Great pasties from Cornwalle!
Scottishe eggs round like a balle!
Great hammes, quaile, ducke and geese!
They suck'd the bones and drank the grease!
One fellowe stood all pale and wan -
for he was vegetarianne
Yet man knoweth that gluttonie,
Stoketh the fyre of lecherie,
Upon three young wenches round and slye,
The fellowes cast a wanton eye.
One did approach, with drunkene winke:
"'Ello darlin', you fancy a drink?",
Soon they caught them on their knee,
'Twas like some grotesque puppettrie!
Such was the lewdness and debaucherie -
'Twas like a sketch by Dick Emery!
Except that Dick Emery is not yet borne -
So such comparisonne may not be drawn.
But then the fellowes began to pale,
For quail are not the friende of ale!
And in their bellyes much confusione!
from their throats vile extrusione!
Stinking foule corruptionne!
Came spewinge forth from droolinge lippes,
The fetide stenche did fille the pubbe,
'Twas the very arse of Beelzebubbe!
Thrown they were, from the Horne And Trumpette,
In the street, no coyne, no strumpet.
Homeward bounde, must quicklie go,
To that ende - a donkey stole!
Their handes all with vomit greased,
The donkey was not pleased,
And threw them into a ditche of shite!
They all agreed:
"What a brillant night!"
__________________
They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We shall remember them.
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28 Mar 2005, 21:55
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#58
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Reservoir Dog
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Down South,England
Posts: 613
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Re: I am so great with women
lol Bill Bailey is great. That song is one of his funniest, along with the shredded duck love song.
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verTIGO | Ascendancy (For Life) | NewDawn | Elysium | Angel's | eXilition | Ministry (Honoury)
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28 Mar 2005, 21:58
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#59
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
She was slim when i met her 3 nights ago.
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Looks like she's been cured since
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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29 Mar 2005, 05:56
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#60
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the Sacred Pervert
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,492
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Was out last night.
Standing at the bar this woman comes up to me and tells me that im the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen.
I stood there waiting for the punchline...
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Woman: So, are you just gonna stand there and stare at me or are you gonna buy me a drink?
Dace: I dunno, I suppose I can get you a drink - what kind of drink do you want?
Woman: Your SemeN
Dace:
Woman: What's wrong?
Dace: I thought I heard you say you want to drink my semen, I'm not sure what you meant by that
Woman: Are you kidding me?!
Dace: No. I mean, Yes!! uhm, say that again?
Woman: What the **** are you talking about?
Dace: I dunno..
__________________
"....some might say, we will find a brighter day...."
-Oasis
Veneratio | Insomnia | F-Crew | Subh
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29 Mar 2005, 10:00
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#61
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: I am so great with women
possibly demiGOD's best ever post
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lazy
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29 Mar 2005, 10:06
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#62
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: I am so great with women
women are great with dace, not the other way round.
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