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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 10:02   #1
Structural Integrity
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I'm such a dumb ****

I just had a private meeting with my boss that was supposed to be about a new software package.
He opened the meeting with: "I have the feeling you're looking for a new job... are you?"
Me: "Euh... well... euh... let's put it this way... if someone offers me a dream-job, I'd be stupid not to accept the offer"
Him: "So, you're not happy here?"
Me: "I didn't say that, I have a dream and want to chase that."
Him: "So I guess if you get offered another job you'll leave this place"
Me: "..."

<insert convo>

So, the result is, I won't be offered a contract for undefined time in October, at most another year-contract.
He did tell me he is satisfied with the job I do, and he would have liked me staying.

I could smack myself in the face. It's not normal for me to give such a straight answer to such questions.
My mother was right again though, I'm too honest for my own good.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 10:03   #2
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Do you like your job?
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 10:09   #3
Structural Integrity
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

No, but that's another story.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 10:25   #4
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

well, motivation to actually look for a new one.
perfect.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 10:38   #5
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

When he asked are you not happy here, THATS when you should have been honest.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 10:43   #6
Structural Integrity
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
When he asked are you not happy here, THATS when you should have been honest.
...

Are you my boss?

...

Stew?

...

OMG!!!!
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 10:44   #7
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

If your contract isn't going to renewed I'd personally say to him that the reason you'd look for another job. So say to him "Yeah I'm very happy here, but when I said I would accept another job it was because I really need more money to cover my current financial expenses".

Or something.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 11:23   #8
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
...

Are you my boss?

...

Stew?

...

OMG!!!!
Get back to work.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 11:39   #9
Structural Integrity
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Get back to work.
YES SIR BOSS!!!
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 12:28   #10
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

i honestly can't see that you did something what could decrease your situation.

if he is satisfied with your work and you'll make him believe that you decided to absolutley want to stay there for another year, i doubt he will say "no".

and dante's suggestion sounds pretty good too. it just needs a bit of blah blah
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 12:38   #11
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

how does your boss suspect you're searching for another job?
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 12:47   #12
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

The fact that SI surfs job sites on the net all day tipped him off?!
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 13:14   #13
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
how does your boss suspect you're searching for another job?
I didn't ask him directly, but he said something about updates not being as frequent anymore as they used to be. It's true, but only because bugs recently have been quite complex.
But to be honest, I don't really care. He's been browsing my PC in the weekend (file history was empty, quicklaunch-bar was different), but there's nothing here that could have given him a hunch. I keep work and private projects/documents strictly separated. It's not like I'm extensively going to do anything private under work-time.
Or he must be browsing these forums where I occasionally vented that I could think of a better job (understatement, I know).
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 13:18   #14
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Sounds more like one of those contrived management conversations where they already have the desired result worked out in their heads and ask you a bunch of loaded or leading questions until they finally break you.

The consolation is that the end result would have been the same nomatter what you had said.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 13:37   #15
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
Or he must be browsing these forums where I occasionally vented that I could think of a better job (understatement, I know).
does he know YOU are 'structural integrity'.
that account could have been me aswell you know. or theam. or rr. or dace. or jakiri. or JJ.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 13:41   #16
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

answer:

no, but if someone pays me a million pounds an hour to sleep with fit women, I'm not going to turn them down.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 14:25   #17
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooling
Sounds more like one of those contrived management conversations where they already have the desired result worked out in their heads and ask you a bunch of loaded or leading questions until they finally break you.

The consolation is that the end result would have been the same nomatter what you had said.
The thing is he opened with that line. There was no breaking involved. Also, I'm the only software person here, so I doubt he wants me gone or has something worked out. Although I could be naive in that. My mother is a wise woman, and besides telling me that I'm too honest for my own good, she also tells me everyone is replacable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
does he know YOU are 'structural integrity'.
that account could have been me aswell you know. or theam. or rr. or dace. or jakiri. or JJ.
No... Yes... knowing that I sent my sollicitation letter using an email account that contains the first half of my handle. I'd be smart enough to find out. Surely he'll be too. He'd have to some fine searching though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Radical Edward
answer:

no, but if someone pays me a million pounds an hour to sleep with fit women, I'm not going to turn them down.
Answer to what?
But that's what I thought too... if I happen to come across my dream-job, then what does he expect? Me to turn it down? I asked him that too BTW, which was countered with a "aren't you happy here?"-question.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 15:21   #18
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
But that's what I thought too... if I happen to come across my dream-job, then what does he expect? Me to turn it down? I asked him that too BTW, which was countered with a "aren't you happy here?"-question.
You should have replied with various answers that doesn't answer the question at all but turns it around like he has done - if he doesn't want to answer your questions, why you answer his? (even if he is the boss) - you're employed for what you do, not what you think, so this shouldn't dress a concern for job prospects. Don't let him make you feel bad because he's more than likely to be in the same boat as you are but he's one-step above you so doesn't really need to worry about whether he likes his job or not etc.

Perhaps the convo could have gone around:

He opened the meeting with: "I have the feeling you're looking for a new job... are you?"
Me: "I'm not looking, I've been offered a role in a Hollywood movie"
Him: "So, you're not happy here?"
Me: "No I hate it" <-- say it sarcastically though with a smile on your face although this could have backfired if he doesn't have a sense of humour or get on that you're joking (although you're not joking)
Him: "So I guess if you get offered another job you'll leave this place"
Me: "The only thing that would lure be away would be Mr. Kippling cakes... Apple Tarlettes are supwerb!"
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 16:22   #19
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Sadly I'm not that sharp in real-life conversations, but I'll try to meet him with a load of cynicism and sarcasm the next time he brings it up.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 21:04   #20
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

I hope he browses these forums and notices the numerous times I have pointed out that you should be sacked for laziness, time wastingt and incompetence.
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Unread 11 Apr 2005, 21:50   #21
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

The only reason that I can think of for a manager to use such a line of questioning is in order to a) get you to admit that you are or would consider looking elsewhere. Or b) use your negative answers to segway into a discussion of "things I've noticed about your motivation lately" or some other trite nonsense.

The end result generally being the same.
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Unread 12 Apr 2005, 08:42   #22
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
I hope he browses these forums and notices the numerous times I have pointed out that you should be sacked for laziness, time wastingt and incompetence.
I hope you die of aids.
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Unread 12 Apr 2005, 15:05   #23
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Re: I'm such a dumb ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lupin
i honestly can't see that you did something what could decrease your situation.
You're not adding in the "his boss is likely to be a dick" factor
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