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10 Feb 2004, 21:15
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#1
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Moving In Together
before getting married is
A) A good idea
B) A bad idea
C) Doesn't matter
obviously on A, it doesn't make sense to marry someone if it turns out that you can't stand to live with them
obviously with B tradition dictates waiting until you are married to move in together
obviously with C you're wasting everyone's time
My answer is: clearly A, B, or C.
Hence the thread.
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10 Feb 2004, 21:17
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#2
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Moving In Together
Marriage isn't particularly important unless you want it to be.
If marriage is really important to you then probably (A). Otherwise (C).
(B) is probably for traditionalistic faggots.
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10 Feb 2004, 21:17
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: Moving In Together
why does the marriage part matter?
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10 Feb 2004, 21:18
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#4
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Cute Kitten
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 724
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Re: Moving In Together
My mum always insisted on me 'living in sin' before marrying anyone cause otherwise you don't get to know just how annoying their little habits can be. Knowing your beloved other half leaves wet towels on the bed every day is easy to ignore if you just stay over occasionally, but it can get very annoying when its your side of the bed he leaves them on ('cause its closer, its not like its deliberate or anything'). I;d say if you don't give it a bit of a trial run first then it could cause more trouble later.
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10 Feb 2004, 21:20
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#5
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: Moving In Together
I moved in with a gf once.
Jesus it was a bad idea.
It was a single room though.
Deffo useful if you're trying to work out if you want to spend a large amount of your life with her though.
Having an other person see what your really like is scarey though. And interesting.
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10 Feb 2004, 21:21
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#6
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: Moving In Together
I would say that not moving in with someone before you get married is a very bad idea.
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10 Feb 2004, 21:24
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#7
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebany
leaves wet towels on the bed every day.
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Just to clarify, she isn't talking about me. I leave my wet towels by my computer.
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10 Feb 2004, 21:27
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#8
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,967
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
before getting married is
A) A good idea
B) A bad idea
C) Doesn't matter
obviously on A, it doesn't make sense to marry someone if it turns out that you can't stand to live with them
obviously with B tradition dictates waiting until you are married to move in together
obviously with C you're wasting everyone's time
My answer is: clearly A, B, or C.
Hence the thread.
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Statisically it doesn't approve the chances of no divorce. Espically if you get used the fact you can just bail when all releationships need to be worked on.
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10 Feb 2004, 21:27
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#9
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: Moving In Together
Its B
Its B
Its B
Its B
Dont Be A ****ing Retard. Say No To Pre-marital Living Together.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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10 Feb 2004, 21:40
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#10
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: Moving In Together
it's probably a good idea.
but now that i've been there... i prolly wouldn't move in with someone unless we've been together for quite a while.. and were actually serious about staying together
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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10 Feb 2004, 21:53
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#11
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IRC Lackey
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions...
Posts: 1,471
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
Its B
Its B
Its B
Its B
Dont Be A ****ing Retard. Say No To Pre-marital Living Together.
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Kura in 'sounding like Daily Mail' shocker
__________________
-Mushroom.
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
George Bernard Shaw
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10 Feb 2004, 21:53
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#12
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
why does the marriage part matter?
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moving in together for a couple that is planning on getting married is a completely separate question than for a couple which has no such pretensions
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10 Feb 2004, 21:58
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: Moving In Together
No it isnt.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:01
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,967
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aryn
it's probably a good idea.
but now that i've been there... i prolly wouldn't move in with someone unless we've been together for quite a while.. and were actually serious about staying together
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So you will get married first then? Cause your not serious till you say 'I do'
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10 Feb 2004, 22:02
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#15
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: Moving In Together
no
you can be serious without getting married
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:03
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#16
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
No it isnt.
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Proof please.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:04
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#17
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
No it isnt.
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is too
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10 Feb 2004, 22:25
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#18
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
moving in together for a couple that is planning on getting married is a completely separate question than for a couple which has no such pretensions
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This is basically saying "A couple who move in together who think they're staying together will view it differently to a couple who think it's a temporary fling" which is true, but marriage doesn't add anything to the equation.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:29
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#19
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,967
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aryn
no
you can be serious without getting married
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If your serious, then get married and drop the signficate other, dodgeing commitment bull shit.
In other words, no you can't.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:34
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#20
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intrepid00
If your serious, then get married and drop the signficate other, dodgeing commitment bull shit.
In other words, no you can't.
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You can be in a serious relationship without a view to being together in longer terms than, say, the course of university life.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:36
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#21
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,967
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
You can be in a serious relationship without a view to being together in longer terms than, say, the course of university life.
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Then your not serious, its a convienance relationship.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:36
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#22
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Moving In Together
So the only serious relationship is the one presumed to last 60-70 years?
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10 Feb 2004, 22:41
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#23
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,967
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
So the only serious relationship is the one presumed to last 60-70 years?
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It isn't serious till death do us part.
People that do this Signficate other crap don't have the willpower and guts for commitment so they leave an escape route. In other words, they don't trust the other person fully.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:42
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#24
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
This is basically saying "A couple who move in together who think they're staying together will view it differently to a couple who think it's a temporary fling" which is true, but marriage doesn't add anything to the equation.
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a couple who is getting married is assumed to ascribe some signifigance to marriage.
anyway, are you seriously saying that all people would have the same answer to:
"You love a girl. Should you move in with her?"
and
"You love a girl, and are engaged to be married to her. Should you move in with her first?"
or are you saying that their answers should be the same for both?
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10 Feb 2004, 22:44
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#25
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intrepid00
It isn't serious till death do us part.
People that do this Signficate other crap don't have the willpower and guts for commitment so they leave an escape route. In other words, they don't trust the other person fully.
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It's quite clear that it's not true for marriage either (especially in america, and especially especially in Vegas0, so I don't see what your argument is exactly.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:45
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#26
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Moving In Together
No, I'm saying the question
"You love a girl and both of you want to live together forever and ever, should you move in with her?"
and your marriage question should have the same answer. Which kind of shows the sillyness of valuing marriage.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:47
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#27
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intrepid00
People that do this Signficate other crap don't have the willpower and guts for commitment so they leave an escape route. In other words, they don't trust the other person fully.
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What? How does marriage close this escape route, albeit making it slightly more difficult to legally disentangle yourself?
You might as well both randomly set up a Limited Company together if you want to make it annoying to depart.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:51
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#28
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
No, I'm saying the question
"You love a girl and both of you want to live together forever and ever, should you move in with her?"
and your marriage question should have the same answer. Which kind of shows the sillyness of valuing marriage.
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the essence of the question was not whether two people that love each other should move in together, it was a question of timing.
and the timing was purely in relation to a wedding date, i.e., before or after.
i'm of the opinion that the truly inessential (un?) element is love.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:53
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#29
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: Moving In Together
Obviously its impossible to be serious about someone without informing the government first.
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10 Feb 2004, 22:54
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#30
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Moving In Together
To be honest I doubt it makes much of a difference unless you've got some stupid belief system like no sex before marriage.
If you do then living together before hand might be a bad idea (sexual tension, temptation, etc).
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10 Feb 2004, 23:15
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#31
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: Moving In Together
a marriage is just an excuse to party and show other people how serious you are.
you'd feel the same way if you got married or not, therefore marriage itself isn't significant..
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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10 Feb 2004, 23:24
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#32
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Das Scoot
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 788
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Re: Moving In Together
I'd say it depends on circumstance...moving in 'just for the hell of it', to see what it's like, probably not a great idea, but if it's got some concrete benefits as well (saving on rent/food, moving to new area, etc) then I'd say go for it.
__________________
n00b since Jan 11th, 2001
I don't really know what I'm doing here
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10 Feb 2004, 23:25
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#33
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Das Scoot
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 788
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aryn
a marriage is just an excuse to party and show other people how serious you are.
you'd feel the same way if you got married or not, therefore marriage itself isn't significant..
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Which is why there's so many unmarried couples who manage to stick together for decades...oh, wait.
__________________
n00b since Jan 11th, 2001
I don't really know what I'm doing here
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10 Feb 2004, 23:32
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#34
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scoot951
Which is why there's so many unmarried couples who manage to stick together for decades...oh, wait.
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Well, ignoring the fact that the culture has immesureably changed in recent years, I don't see why this necessarily proves anything, given that an enormous number of marriages are cancelled, and many more are hardly 'loving'
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11 Feb 2004, 15:07
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#35
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scoot951
Which is why there's so many unmarried couples who manage to stick together for decades...oh, wait.
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this is why so many married couples stay together for decades?.... oh wait.
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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11 Feb 2004, 15:22
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#36
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: Moving In Together
A
(i've seen that MTV rl-series with jessica simpson)
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11 Feb 2004, 15:30
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#37
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Retard
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 272
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Re: Moving In Together
i'd definatly go for A
marrying someone who you havent lived with for a while would be insanity.
imagine all the habits the person might have that still remains a secret for you if you marry the person without living together first.
cmon get a grip Britney
__________________
[Retards]
Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
I LIKE PAUL2.
HE IS MY FRIEND.
HE IS THE BEST FRIEND ANYBODY COULD WISH FOR!
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11 Feb 2004, 15:35
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#38
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Teh Portal Coder
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: There.
Posts: 124
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Re: Moving In Together
I'd go for A.
But remember the four year cut-off.
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11 Feb 2004, 15:45
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#39
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Teh Portal Coder
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: There.
Posts: 124
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Re: Moving In Together
Must... resist... arranged... marriage... joke...
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11 Feb 2004, 15:46
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#40
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue
only cos I'm shackled to my current house until August
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Thanks dude.
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11 Feb 2004, 19:45
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#41
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Das Scoot
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 788
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aryn
this is why so many married couples stay together for decades?.... oh wait.
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The number is definitly higher for married couples. I mean sure, some of it's due to the culture of a few decades ago, but still, how many unmarried couples do you know of that have been together for more than a decade? I don't know any.
__________________
n00b since Jan 11th, 2001
I don't really know what I'm doing here
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11 Feb 2004, 19:52
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#42
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Moving In Together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scoot951
The number is definitly higher for married couples. I mean sure, some of it's due to the culture of a few decades ago, but still, how many unmarried couples do you know of that have been together for more than a decade? I don't know any.
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I know several, but anecdotal information like that is pretty worthless. There's going to be less overall statistics anyway, since why would the government (say) know about a non-marital relationship breakdown (unless the courts are involved with child maintenance issues)? The only reason we have divorce stats is because you need to file for divorce.
Plus, it wouldn't be a fair comparison anyway since a good proportion of relationships going on right now are probably between random teenagers/twenty-somethings who aren't intending anything serious.
Besides, even if married couples do stay together longer that doesn't mean much. All you could be noticing is that in our society people more serious about things tend to get married. This doesn't mean marriage _makes_ them stay together longer, just that those who would stay together longer anyway tend to get married.
I don't pretend to be typical, but as a married person, there's nothing me quitting my relationship anymore than if I was "just" living with my partner.
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11 Feb 2004, 20:25
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#43
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: Moving In Together
A but dump her before she can prove that you had intentions of building a lifetime relationship, what would end in her getting 50% of everything you made in the period which you were with her
__________________
Bizarrely overrated
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11 Feb 2004, 21:14
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#44
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Twisted
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Down with the sickness
Posts: 2,484
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Re: Moving In Together
I don't plan on ever getting married, so moving in together is the only step I/we can really take. Fortunately we have basically 'lived together' for 2 months now so we know each others little quirks quite well.
For people who do plan to get married, I suppose it is entirely dependent on the couple in question. 2 of my mates from Uni got married, but never lived together beforehand for 'religious reasons'. But then they had known each other for about 6 years by the point they got married, and because they were at different Unis they spent almost every weekend 'living together' just in a flat with other people. I guess it depends on how well you think you know each other, although these days I'd say more people move in together and THEN decide to get married, rather than the other way round.
__________________
Me
In my sleep I grind my teeth.
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