So I went to my best friends sisters wedding...

[QazokRouge5]

First off, yes we're Americans.
Jared my best friend, is Czech by heritage as is his sister, obviously.
His sister is marrying to a mexican guy named Julio. Nice fellow.

Here is the question I put forth to you:
Have you ever seen a Czech-Mexican wedding?

If so, was it a 2 hour long ceremony? They were doing some things that I didn't even know existed. Blessing of the rings, mexican coins, little chihuahuas running around the place, and lighting of candles, catholic bread and punch, more chihuahuas, and then finally the vows.

This wedding was so damned long I think even God was ready to get it over with and go get drunk at the ceremony.

So finally the wedding is over at 4 oclock, and the ceremony starts at 4:30. I walk in fashionably late at 5:45 sporting a blue collared shirt that is really tight and khaki pants with rose shaded glasses. Pimpin baby.

I make my rounds, say hello to all the twats I haven't seen in 2 years and act like I like them. Smile and nod, I tell myself, smile and nod. I shake the grooms hand tell him it's good to see him and congrats. Kiss the bride on the cheek and tell her I'm happy they finally got married and that she looks beautiful. After all of this I get to wondering where the beer is so I walk over to my best friend. He says, "I was wondering when you'd quit ****ing around and come get drunk. They got Shiner and Bud Light in the keg. Go get a pitcher. Oh, nice shades."

Well, stereotipically speaking, the Shiner was for us Czechs and the Bud Light for the Mexicans. So 2 pitchers of beer later we're sitting there and a mariachi band walks in and begins to play. I take this time to now tip my hat to the Mariachi band who had excellent music and vocals. After which all the white people were yelling YEYEYEYEEEEAH! and AICHIHUAHUA! and the like. Security made sure that none of the Mexicans brought knifes or guns, by the way.

So the Mexican hip-hop DJ (I didn't know there was such a thing) begins to play music that is mildly catchy, but I decided it was time for another pitcher of beer. So while waiting on the tap to fill my pitcher, my good buddy Brannon, also known as Lizard Boy, walks up and says hey man... theres a chick I called coming here and shes a FREAK. She's all yours buddy. "Ok." says I. Fine with me.

So 2 pitchers later the chick calls and says she can't make it. Smile and nod, Jeff, smile and nod.

At this time the Czech band begins to play.

I would now like to take the time to state that I have a fetish for girls with red hair.

Lo and behold, the most gorgeous redhead I've ever seen walks in the door. So naturally I ask her to dance and we dance, I tell her to come to the after party with me and she agrees. I think it was the shades that did it, personally.

Well by the time the reception was over I've had 5 1\2 pitchers of Shiner Bock and was in the process of telling the police officer there that he was the one that found my mom when I got lost in the grocery store 10 years ago.

So I drive out to the After party and meet Red there. We do this and that etc. and then some wise guy gets the bright idea to go riding around on the lawnmower at 1 AM. Sounded like a good idea to me at the time, so I hop on the hood and we go out in the field and come back. Apparantly in the numerous times that I fell off the lawnmower, one of which I lost the lense of my pimpin pink sunglasses.

Anyway, she didn't care, we hit the sack and I haven't called her yet.

The moral of the story:

Don't ride a lawnmower at 1AM while wearing sunglasses.

[dda]

An alternative moral: Don't take the guns away from the Mexicans, maybe they'll kill all of the Czech's and our lawn mowers will once again be safe.

[ChubbyChecker]

Yeah, it's no Mexican wedding if the guests aren't shooting their guns into the air and throwing their bolas around during the ceremony.

[acropolis]

friends don't let friends attend catholic weddings.

[Radical Edward]

Originally Posted by QazokRouge5

Well by the time the reception was over I've had 5 1\2 pitchers of Shiner Bock

.......................

So I drive out to the After party and

................

if we don't get my point yet

Originally Posted by QazokRouge5

.... 5 1\2 pitchers of Shiner Bock ... I drive .......

................

now I know that American alcohol is gnats piss, but drink driving really pisses me off. now if that drink is non-alcoholic, then I duly apologise, but if it is alcoholic, then I don't.

[ChubbyChecker]

Maybe in America thimbles are called pitchers.

[JC]

Well i doubt he had 22 pints.

[Madina]

Originally Posted by JC

Well i doubt he had 22 pints.

Could explain why he thought pink glasses make him look like a pimp.

[Dead_Meat]

Originally Posted by QazokRouge5

I walk in fashionably late at 5:45 sporting a blue collared shirt that is really tight and khaki pants with rose shaded glasses. Pimpin baby

Paging Yahwe to Thread 186276, that's Yahwe to Thread 186276...thankyou.

[Yahwe]

i always saw him as a blue-collar chap

[Dead_Meat]

Originally Posted by Yahwe

i always saw him as a blue-collar chap

Oh dear.

[QazokRouge5]

Pitcher of Beer

I've been drinking since forever, and 5 1\2 pitchers over a 7 hour span isn't really that much.

[QazokRouge5]

Originally Posted by Yahwe

i always saw him as a blue-collar chap

<3

[dda]

5.5 pitchers of beer would be equal to about 22-12 oz. bottles of beer here.

22 bottles of beer contain alcohol sufficient to bring the blood alcohol level to 0.44%

Over a seven hour periond, the body burns off 0.14%.

This would leave you at about a 0.30% blood alcohol level.

The average non-alcoholic will pass out or begin to puke by the time they are in the mid-20's of bac.

Either you are an alcoholic, or you must be referring to the amount of beer that you and your buddies drank collectively.

I agree with Radical Edward. If you were driving at such a high bac, you were a menace to everyone on the road.

If you were riding with another friend who had been drinking similar amounts of alcohol, you were risking your life needlessly.

In falling off of the lawn mower, you are lucky that you didn't lose anything more valuable than the lense out of you shades.

[ChubbyChecker]

That pitcher's about twice the size of a thimble.

[Knight Theamion]

1.7 liters of beer, but effectively 'bout 6 glasses you get out of that


however the first 2 beers are nice, the rest is stale, so you got 5.5 * 1.7 = 9.35 liters of beer in 7 hours and then went for a drive


sure

[Marilyn Manson]

I was going to sing a song about cum in bottles here, but then I realised I really couldn't be arsed.

[Deffeh]

I love you GD. I was going to do the whole "you didnt drink all that shit" pish but you came through for me <3

[QazokRouge5]

Originally Posted by dda

eh

You're correct, although perhaps I should have been more specific earlier, I apologize. We did drink 5.5 collectively, between 3 of if memory serves.

The lawnmowers blades weren't engaged, so no danger there.