I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.
I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.
In terms of payment:
I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.
Please transport unit in either a large brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday July 28th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.
Twenty-three inches in from the outside edge of the corner at the South West
Corner of Cummings Ave. & Village Street in Woburn, Mass. is at Latitude
42.4845467 & Longitude -71.1576157 and the ground is 101.3' above sea level.
WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!!
(NOBODY HAS BEEN ABLE TO TRANSPORT ANYTHING SO FAR WITHOUT THE TRANSFER BEING DEFLECTED). I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.
Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.
After unit has been sent please email me at: [email protected]
with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.
Thank You
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__________________
"Melting the steel, close to the sun
Dreaming away from this nightmare
A digital world where everyone feeds on lies
Falling from grace, the human race
Religion can never unite us
Only a few will stay on the barricades"
-Masterplan
There's now even a web store selling Dimensional Warp Generators.
__________________ The Ottawa Citizen and Southam News wish to apologize for our apology to Mark Steyn, published Oct. 22. In correcting the incorrect statements about Mr. Steyn published Oct. 15, we incorrectly published the incorrect correction. We accept and regret that our original regrets were unacceptable and we apologize to Mr. Steyn for any distress caused by our previous apology.
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