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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 15:57   #1
Flayer
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My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

I've always been hard as a rock when it came to emotions, they suck. I've never really bothered with girls (I'm in my first year of uni now). All this has changed recently though, because of one person .

I know this girl from music class, and I see her once a week. She already has a boyfriend, and she's known for some time that I like her. She has also let me known in the past weeks that I am a good friend. A few days ago she told me (on IM) that she's having some trouble with her boyfriend and she didn't talk to me about it because when she's with me she's "having fun and doesn't have to think about it, and secretly I make her happy again" and so on. Well I've been going apeshit since then.

Yesterday, I completely lost touch and actually asked a girl about 'my chances' for the first time in my life. At first she said she couldn't tell me because it's not over with her bf yet, but after persisting she told me "I think so" (yeah, I can read between the lines here too, no chance!).

Now, I know you're all very bitter and angry persons, and I want you to tell me why I shouldn't care! Help me become apathic again! If someone has some advice how to handle the situation that's good too. I hope it made some sense, probably not. I don't care. omg internet
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:01   #2
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Wait for her to finish with her boyfriend - be a good friend and be patient.

What exactly do you want?
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:04   #3
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Nothing hurts like love.
[/fag music]
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:04   #4
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Isn't it bad for your chance on getting some when you are on a girls list of "friends"?
Atleast so GD told me.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:05   #5
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
Wait for her to finish with her boyfriend - be a good friend and be patient.
Also take note not to push her. Let her come to you - if she has feelings for you, she will eventually pick you out.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:06   #6
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
Isn't it bad for your chance on getting some when you are on a girls list of "friends"?
Atleast so GD told me.
Depends what type of friend. Girls have many types of "friends". They're an odd gender
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:10   #7
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
What exactly do you want?
Being able to study without thinking about that shit

Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
Isn't it bad for your chance on getting some when you are on a girls list of "friends"?
Atleast so GD told me.
It is, according to ladder theory
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:13   #8
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flayer
Being able to study without thinking about that shit
Nerd!
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:17   #9
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Don't be such a pussy, soldier!
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:17   #10
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

go out, get drunk, get laid, your a first year fs, its easy
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:23   #11
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

I'm doing CS, I haven't studied for shit until now, and the maths are killing me. I have a test exam on tuesdays
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:28   #12
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flayer
Being able to study without thinking about that shit
Patience then. If it's meant to be it will happen
Quote:
It is, according to ladder theory
Ahh, but you don't really know which ladder you're on remember!
You could be on either...
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 16:56   #13
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Maths for CS / Discrete Maths are both eeeeevil ;(
So are women now it comes to it!
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 17:10   #14
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

She's using you dude. Also, you being so nice to her is making her think her present boyfriend is shit (which may be true).

As soon as she comes out of the relationship, the chances of you getting in there with her are LOW. Either you'll strike while the iron is hot (so to speak) and she'll reject you because "she's only just come out of a relationship", or you'll wait too long and she'll find someone new.

Trust me, leave it. Just be an arse to her (you don't have to be mean to her - just ignore her and give her less attention) - and see what happens.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 17:13   #15
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

"HI WANNA ****?"
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 17:19   #16
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flayer
I'm doing CS, I haven't studied for shit until now, and the maths are killing me. I have a test exam on tuesdays
Counter Strike?
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 17:22   #17
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

damaging other people's relationships in any way at all is horrible and if you do it i'll never have sex with you, ever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
Wait for her to finish with her boyfriend - be a good friend and be patient.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 17:25   #18
Flayer
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Trust me, leave it. Just be an arse to her (you don't have to be mean to her - just ignore her and give her less attention) - and see what happens.
Interesting you bring that up.

More details: when I informed about the situation with her bf last night, I told her it might be better for me to start ignoring her (I know, I told you I was going apeshit). She reacted like 'oh no please don't do that' and told me I should talk to her if I feel bad and stuff, because 'talking is the most important to her'. I feel so goddamn stupid.

But yes, I should move on, if there's absolutely no chance for me any more to get some I guess I'll just be patient for some time to come.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 17:26   #19
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
Counter Strike?
I don't know if you're serious or not, but its Computer Science.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 18:55   #20
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Tell her that you're a well respected member of an internet forum. She'll be well impressed.





Neither of which statements are true.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 19:45   #21
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

You don't wanna listen to some of the muppet advice going on around here, if you are interested in teh woman and she's definately spending more time with you than her bf and markedly complaining about the time with her bf she's looking for someone to give her a reason to break.

If she breaks up with him on her own she is going to be not good for immediately dating again, the energy it takes herself to do all that will just sap her of any interest in getting involved again and she'll probably behave a bit like a slapper for a while.

What you gotta do is make advances on her, not big stupid ones but really really flirty saucy ones that make her think about you when she's doing the self-petting in bed at night than her bf.

Phone her up or IM her before she's due to hit the hay at night for a while, make sure the last thing she's thinking about at night is you, play up how you'd like to hold her but you'd be showing all the willpower you'd have not to do such and such (use your imagination to tease her here), boost her self esteem, pick out her qualities and her aspirations and make her feel positive and good about them and how you'd be the person that can see this in her and you'd walk hand in hand with her (though use better wording) down those life paths.

For a while she'll never admit it but she'll prolly be diddling herself thinking of you while you are talking etc then she'll go into bug friends mode for a bit about her situation, this is where it can potentially backfire, what you do here is flatter her mates but at no point ask them to interfere on behalf of the relationship... it's suicide, you've got to give her the balls to dump the bf, make her arrange to spend time with the gf's about 12-24 hours after the deed (not right away or she might make a regrettable mistake and take him back), advise her to take him off all contact lists she has so the guy is reduced to at best phoning her to talk to her which will seem too pushy.

Now for the gold, she's obviously a monkey sort... i.e. she has to be clinging to another branch before she let's go of the old branch (in other words have a new bf before letting go of the old one), so she's holding onto you, what you have to do is play the concerned gentleman, comfort her but express second doubts about pushing her into another relationship so soon and that you don't want to be a possible ball and chain that holds her from her ambitions(thus in turn making her cling desperately to the branch :P), play in a gf of her's that'll try to play mediator and set it back up for you two to see sense and go at it together cause she as sure as all hell probably doesn't want to pick up the pieces for a while.

And you're set.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 19:56   #22
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

When a poster like me has no trouble getting female attention of the sexual nature for the last 4 years... I'd suspect I'd know something.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 20:08   #23
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flayer
I don't know if you're serious or not, but its Computer Science.
I was half serious. I knew it wasn't Counter strike, but the meaning of the abbreviation escaped me.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 20:25   #24
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Nothing hurts like love.
Especially man-love.
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 20:55   #25
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunday8pm
You don't wanna listen to some of the muppet advice going on around here, if you are interested in teh woman and she's definately spending more time with you than her bf and markedly complaining about the time with her bf she's looking for someone to give her a reason to break.

If she breaks up with him on her own she is going to be not good for immediately dating again, the energy it takes herself to do all that will just sap her of any interest in getting involved again and she'll probably behave a bit like a slapper for a while.

What you gotta do is make advances on her, not big stupid ones but really really flirty saucy ones that make her think about you when she's doing the self-petting in bed at night than her bf.

Phone her up or IM her before she's due to hit the hay at night for a while, make sure the last thing she's thinking about at night is you, play up how you'd like to hold her but you'd be showing all the willpower you'd have not to do such and such (use your imagination to tease her here), boost her self esteem, pick out her qualities and her aspirations and make her feel positive and good about them and how you'd be the person that can see this in her and you'd walk hand in hand with her (though use better wording) down those life paths.

For a while she'll never admit it but she'll prolly be diddling herself thinking of you while you are talking etc then she'll go into bug friends mode for a bit about her situation, this is where it can potentially backfire, what you do here is flatter her mates but at no point ask them to interfere on behalf of the relationship... it's suicide, you've got to give her the balls to dump the bf, make her arrange to spend time with the gf's about 12-24 hours after the deed (not right away or she might make a regrettable mistake and take him back), advise her to take him off all contact lists she has so the guy is reduced to at best phoning her to talk to her which will seem too pushy.

Now for the gold, she's obviously a monkey sort... i.e. she has to be clinging to another branch before she let's go of the old branch (in other words have a new bf before letting go of the old one), so she's holding onto you, what you have to do is play the concerned gentleman, comfort her but express second doubts about pushing her into another relationship so soon and that you don't want to be a possible ball and chain that holds her from her ambitions(thus in turn making her cling desperately to the branch :P), play in a gf of her's that'll try to play mediator and set it back up for you two to see sense and go at it together cause she as sure as all hell probably doesn't want to pick up the pieces for a while.

And you're set.
I'm impressed by your effort.
It seems like an awful lot of work though. And it looks like a strategy that doesn't work from the first time=). And after yesterday I feel kinda turned down, even when technically I wasn't. I'll just continue being nice, but without looking desperate of course
So... feel free to write an essay on how to fall out of love too (because that's probably what it is) if you feel like it
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Unread 6 Nov 2004, 21:07   #26
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

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Originally Posted by Flayer
I'm impressed by your effort.
It seems like an awful lot of work though. And it looks like a strategy that doesn't work from the first time=). And after yesterday I feel kinda turned down, even when technically I wasn't. I'll just continue being nice, but without looking desperate of course
So... feel free to write an essay on how to fall out of love too (because that's probably what it is) if you feel like it
Just get over it... be a nerd... do your study... learning is more fun than girls anyway.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 13:09   #27
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flayer
Now, I know you're all very bitter and angry persons, and I want you to tell me why I shouldn't care! Help me become apathic again! If someone has some advice how to handle the situation that's good too. I hope it made some sense, probably not. I don't care. omg internet
Go out to a club and hold up a sign with the words "In desperate need of a shag" on it. If you still find it hard to get through a day without thinking about whoever this girl is then ****ing snap out of it. You're a first year in college, your only goal should be to have as much meaningless sex as is humanly possible!



PS Here's to sunday's amateur psychology
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 14:07   #28
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
"HI WANNA ****?"
i dont believe this girl is 8 dace
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 14:11   #29
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

also, **** her. she isnt worth shit.

if you pine over this whore she will keep you on a string so that she has someone to bitch to.
dont accept it.

ignore her and focus on other women, if she ever was interested in you then she will show it by trying to hook up with you then. if you two hook up then after your finished with her call her a tramp and move on.

the goal in this situation is to leave her with as much emotional baggage as you can put on her.
good luck
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 14:31   #30
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Sunday's advice sucks for the most part and takes too much effort. If you just talk to her less, and make her have to make th effort to talk to you, she'll love it. Make sure that when she does talk to you you are very flirty (and like Sunday said, make sure she's thinking about you instead of her other half).

It's hard, but discipline yourself. If you want to phone her, don't. Tell yourself you can't phone her for 24-48 hours (give yourself an actual time you can't phone her until). If she asks you to do something, ask if you can get back to her about it an hour later. Then be late in phoning her back - phone her 2 hours later instead of 1. Little things like this are noticed by the opposite sex.

Girls are so stupidly complicated, you need to be sure of everything you're doing. DISCIPLINE MY FRIEND
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 14:50   #31
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

no, take my advice
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 14:59   #32
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

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Originally Posted by Burbank
no, take my advice
I don't know if I will take it, but it definitely made me feel much better

I will from now on be disciplined and not initiate talks with her until next week!
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 15:01   #33
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

damn right, and if youse wan to some know how to put emotional baggafa ona chick come talk to me in #forums.

im like the mastar at ti
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 15:10   #34
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

I have a date tonight wahoo!
Girls have been asking me out recently!
The reason why? well a couple of weeks ago I decided I'd had enough of girls - I wasn't gonna waste my time trying to get one... Of course, as soon as I do that 3 girls all start falling over themselves after me!
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 15:50   #35
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Burbank
also, **** her. she isnt worth shit.

if you pine over this whore she will keep you on a string so that she has someone to bitch to.
dont accept it.

ignore her and focus on other women, if she ever was interested in you then she will show it by trying to hook up with you then. if you two hook up then after your finished with her call her a tramp and move on.

the goal in this situation is to leave her with as much emotional baggage as you can put on her.
good luck


What are you? 12?

Are you trying to roleplay some big bad pimp or something and i'm missing the joke?


Or is it normal where you come from to call girls whores, bitches, tramps whatnot?

Language like that to describe a girl unknown to you, would lead to swift castration with blunt long fingernails in my corner of the world.




oh let me guess, it's your 'persona' on your gimmick account?
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right?
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 15:51   #36
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Do not, dive in there as soon as she has broken up with the twat.

Be the 'good friend' for at least a month before you make a move.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 16:30   #37
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aviendha
What are you? 12?

Are you trying to roleplay some big bad pimp or something and i'm missing the joke?


Or is it normal where you come from to call girls whores, bitches, tramps whatnot?

Language like that to describe a girl unknown to you, would lead to swift castration with blunt long fingernails in my corner of the world.




oh let me guess, it's your 'persona' on your gimmick account?


right?
Teasing someone because of their register date is sooooo 1997.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 16:33   #38
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

It`s Shai.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 19:31   #39
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

why hasn't anyone demanded pictures yet? damn you lot for making me post...
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 19:35   #40
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

I've never once had to come creeping onto these forums for learning how to deal with women or break ups or anything in particular, yet the quality of life I enjoy relationship wise has been satisfactory to superb.

For those deriding what can work (not all people are as complicated as us here) in my opinion, I suggest you stop being so insular about the wonderful variety that is life.

I would of definately reccomeneded other actions had the woman sounded anything in the particularly bright division.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 19:41   #41
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunday8pm
I've never once had to come creeping onto these forums for learning how to deal with women or break ups or anything in particular.
Thanks for making me feel like the new muslim
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 19:42   #42
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flayer
Thanks for making me feel like the new muslim
I was more taking a dig at those who felt my advice was crap but spend a lot of time here whining about their own misfortunes.

You seem new to the ways of the force however and you get my sympathies.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 19:46   #43
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aviendha
oh let me guess, it's your 'persona' on your gimmick account?
Criticising him because of his post number? You've only got 38 yourself... And besides, quality not quantity (although saying that, he does seem like a knob so I agree with you).


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunday8pm
I was more taking a dig at those who felt my advice was crap but spend a lot of time here whining about their own misfortunes.
I thought your advice was partly crap. But then, I've never come on here asking advice about life really.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 19:51   #44
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Criticising him because of his post number? You've only got 38 yourself... And besides, quality not quantity (although saying that, he does seem like a knob so I agree with you).
It's shai gar.

Avie is an old ND ho.

She belongs in AD not GD :P
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 20:05   #45
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

I wish i could contribute to this disscusion more. I`m a bit older than most people here, and I have enough on my plate at the mo. I feel for your broken mind Flayer....
I think Zar speaks well in this matter.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 21:58   #46
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

To make this thread a little more interesting I've uploaded a picture for you all to laugh at and photoshop

http://img102.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img102&image=img34.jpg

(for dace: the left one)
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 22:07   #47
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
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Doctor, we need food.

QUICKLY
IV of potato chips!
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Unread 8 Nov 2004, 00:47   #48
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Exclamation Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
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Especially man-love.
The voice of experience.
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Unread 8 Nov 2004, 00:49   #49
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Well I'm now single again which is (no really :\)
Two girlfriends, two weeks, same person
Now THAT's a track record to envy

But apparently last night a mates friend thought I was ''fit'' so I can't really complain too much! Least I know where I stand etc etc. And I gave her a second chance and she blew it! Her loss!
This post may seem a bit rambling... this may be because I started drinking neat JD, but it may not

Anyway, I have my next 'target'' picked, and if not: Im a fresher at uni baby!
Good luck to you tho mate.

My ex (well.. I guess I can call her that after a whole week) actually split with her boyfriend ''for me'' but that might just have been an excuse. Oh well!
Sure you'll have a bit more success that me!

/drunken honesty
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Unread 8 Nov 2004, 01:23   #50
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Re: My mind is broken. Help me fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunday8pm
It's shai gar.

Avie is an old ND ho.

She belongs in AD not GD :P

Omg, i'm remembered as ND heh (frantically ignoring the old and the ho ta muchly)

Just to name someone, an old ND ho, i think you mean DM then Sunday (lo Rich )


As to structural integrity, it had nothing to do with his postcount, nor with mine. It had to do with it most likely being a gimmick account, or a new account after being banned. Since it's Shai, i'm wrong when i said it's his gimmick persona, it's just him full stop heh.

But it annoyed me enough to make me post a reply. I'm far from the fanatic feminist, but stuff like that pushes me beyond the normal 'note to self, ignore idiot'-level.

Obviously Flayer likes/liked the girl, so she must have something besides maybe being a girly who likes to play games with unsuspecting lads. Not because plenty of girls play annoying games with guys, that they fall automatically in categories like whore or bitch, if you get situations like Flayer seems to have gotten himself into.

If anything, he should be the better man if he really likes her and just set it straight with the girl on how he feels. Contrary to popular belief there's nothing shamefull in admitting openly you like someone enough to want to take it to a next level. Even if she then blows you off, you at least didn't play games and stooped to that level.

Just a woman's point of view.
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