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15 Sep 2005, 21:43
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#1
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Baron Samedi
Join Date: May 2001
Location: I'm not idimmu
Posts: 62
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A funny joke
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
He needed a poo.
Get it, kneaded, needed...
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Victims, aren't we all?
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15 Sep 2005, 21:44
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#2
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Caveat Lector
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 3,038
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Re: A funny joke
No I don't get it, can you explain it again. Thanks.
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15 Sep 2005, 21:45
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#3
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Baron Samedi
Join Date: May 2001
Location: I'm not idimmu
Posts: 62
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Re: A funny joke
Right, it's because kneaded (the action bakers do to make bread rise) is phonetically like needed (an urgent desire).
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Victims, aren't we all?
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15 Sep 2005, 21:48
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#4
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iniluki
Right, it's because kneaded (the action bakers do to make bread rise) is phonetically like needed (an urgent desire).
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I thought you were dead
Or Belgian
Or worse
WB
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Sep 2005, 21:51
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#5
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Baron Samedi
Join Date: May 2001
Location: I'm not idimmu
Posts: 62
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Re: A funny joke
Oh I pissed off. Remembered this place existed and decided to see what it's like. I like it that I am currently an unknown quantity at this point.
The rollover alt text containing a snippet of the thread is awful though. I shall complain to the management, whoever that is.
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Victims, aren't we all?
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15 Sep 2005, 21:51
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#6
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Caveat Lector
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 3,038
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iniluki
Right, it's because kneaded (the action bakers do to make bread rise) is phonetically like needed (an urgent desire).
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Okay so let's do this logically so that way maybe I can understand how this is funny.
Let's say object A were the baker, and let's call the poo object B, and the action of needing action C and then kneading will be action D. So the humor then is concept E. Would the following statement then be true:
The difference between a duck is that one leg is the same.
?
Please explain. Thank you.
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15 Sep 2005, 21:53
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#7
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Baron Samedi
Join Date: May 2001
Location: I'm not idimmu
Posts: 62
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Re: A funny joke
No, ducks aren't funny.
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Victims, aren't we all?
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15 Sep 2005, 22:47
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#8
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Caveat Lector
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 3,038
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iniluki
No, ducks aren't funny.
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AH! I get it! OMGROFL Man, that is humour. Phew, I need to take a break now.
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15 Sep 2005, 22:56
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#9
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You love me really
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 342
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Re: A funny joke
How do mathematicians relieve themselves of constipation?....
They work it out with a pencil!
________
Yamaha TT250
Last edited by Arachnidman; 25 Jan 2011 at 13:55.
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15 Sep 2005, 23:02
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#10
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Caveat Lector
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 3,038
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arachnidman
How do mathematicians relieve themselves of constipation?....
They work it out with a pencil!
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Sick. And the relationship between a mathematician and a pencil is tenuous. You're pushing it buster!
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15 Sep 2005, 23:31
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#11
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: A funny joke
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
Tbh the wedding was simply shite. Terrible decorations, ceremony just went on, boring as hell.
But the reception was great.
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15 Sep 2005, 23:39
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#12
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You love me really
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 342
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Re: A funny joke
Acropolis, you have deviated from the "faeces" theme.....
or has he?
________
Honda CN250
Last edited by Arachnidman; 25 Jan 2011 at 13:56.
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15 Sep 2005, 23:45
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#13
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Baron Samedi
Join Date: May 2001
Location: I'm not idimmu
Posts: 62
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavius
I remember you.
Sadly you don't remember me.
Or maybe that's a good thing.
Oh, who cares!
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I do remember you. You're the one that had botchulism aren't you?
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Victims, aren't we all?
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15 Sep 2005, 23:48
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#14
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arachnidman
Acropolis, you have deviated from the "faeces" theme.....
or has he?
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i said 'shite'
old skool fecal joke:
A young girl goes to her father and says, "Dad, can I borrow the car to go to a party tonight?"
He leers at her and says, "Sure, but you have to suck my dick first."
Well, the girl really wants to go to this party, so reluctantly she pulls down his zipper and begins sucking. After a while, she looks up at him and says: "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"
"Oh damn, that's right, your brother already has the car tonight."
Last edited by acropolis; 16 Sep 2005 at 15:45.
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16 Sep 2005, 00:41
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#15
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: A funny joke
Ini, Idi, idler
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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16 Sep 2005, 00:44
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#16
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overtired
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,900
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
i said 'shite'
old skool fecal joke:
A young girl goes to her father and says, "Dad, can I go to the prom?"
He leers at her and says, "Sure, but you have to suck my dick first."
Well, the girl really wants to go to the prom, so reluctantly she pulls down his zipper and begins sucking. After a while, she looks up at him and says: "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"
"Oh damn, that's right, your brother already has the car tonight."
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shouldn't she be asking to borrow the car too?
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16 Sep 2005, 00:55
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#17
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Back from timeout.
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 901
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Re: A funny joke
This whole thread made put me in a state of hopeless despair. Off to tap the keg.
__________________
Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
You'll have to prise my penis from my cold, dead hand!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Yahwe
Gay ducks only do it because it impresses their peers.
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16 Sep 2005, 01:04
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#18
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: A funny joke
Rumours abound this evening that Yahwe had a little shit before going to bed.
In an apparently unrelated incident, doctors at nearby St. Catherine's hospice reported that a young man, identified only as 'Stew' had been admitted with severe anal trauma and would be keeping him under observation until the stitches in his anus healed.
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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16 Sep 2005, 01:15
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#19
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: A funny joke
it was mm who fancied stew.
my comment was that he was unfanciable because he was made of twigs.
he seems to have adopted that epitaph as his custom title.
which is nice
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hi
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16 Sep 2005, 13:13
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#20
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
it was mm who fancied stew.
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It didn't stop you from grabbing his arse.
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16 Sep 2005, 13:14
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#21
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You love me really
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 342
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
It didn't stop you from grabbing his arse.
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I'm sort of glad in a way that no-one likes me enough to invite me to any of these GD meets.
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Suzuki GSX-R750
Last edited by Arachnidman; 25 Jan 2011 at 13:56.
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16 Sep 2005, 13:18
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#22
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arachnidman
I'm sort of glad in a way that no-one likes me enough to invite me to any of these GD meets.
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The idea that meets are events where barely supressed homoerotic desire intermingles with excessive quantities of alcohol is simply false. Most of the offers of blowjobs and lunges for crotches are done at the very end of the evening and for the most part people are well behaved.
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16 Sep 2005, 13:26
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#23
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nantoz
Now no one will come to the next meeting. They won't have anything to look forward to...
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Don't be so shy, Ingy. You know I'd always make an exception for you.
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16 Sep 2005, 13:29
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#24
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
The idea that meets are events where barely supressed homoerotic desire intermingles with excessive quantities of alcohol is simply false. Most of the offers of blowjobs and lunges for crotches are done at the very end of the evening and for the most part people are well behaved.
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And they are usually turned down too...
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16 Sep 2005, 13:32
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#25
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
And they are usually turned down too...
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Usually?
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16 Sep 2005, 13:46
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#26
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overtired
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,900
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Re: A funny joke
Anyone remember Raggety from the Rupert The Bear stories?
I only mention it because like Stew, he was made of twigs
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16 Sep 2005, 13:50
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#27
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: A funny joke
I did a brief physical examination of Stew and I can conclusively state that what I felt was most certainly not made of twigs.
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16 Sep 2005, 15:52
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#28
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: A funny joke
Dear Sirs,
The comments made by the individual Marilyn Manson are in no way endorsed by Yahwe Corp. Our package holidays and weekend away breaks are arranged to the highest standard for all involved (which is pretty bloody high to them given they come from the north). Our consistent provision of high quality entertainment is something upon which this company prides itself (and not one of the bastards was grateful for it).
Any rumors of sexual harrassment have been investigated fully by our chairman and a conclusive report was published. I refer you to page 28 paragraph 7 of said report which concludes "I certainly didn't grab stews arse you pissed lanky northerner".
Thank You.
__________________
hi
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16 Sep 2005, 15:55
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#29
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1-X
shouldn't she be asking to borrow the car too?
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you know it's pretty hard to get confused mid joke and forget or ruin the punchline when only posting on the internet.
and only cut/pasting the joke.
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16 Sep 2005, 16:17
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#30
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Who?
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: #Comfy
Posts: 743
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iniluki
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
He needed a poo.
Get it, kneaded, needed...
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Shouldn't it of been
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
He kneaded a poo.
__________________
#cnuts
For all your homoerotic needs
<Bobzy> Minty, you have a line for everything
<Queen> MINTY ROCKS
<Ice-Lady> minty is a odd boy
<Game> Minty rocks
<Queen> no minty..cos u rock
<HobbieRogue4> Minty, you stone!
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16 Sep 2005, 17:26
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#31
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minty
Shouldn't it of been
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
He kneaded a poo.
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i don't think that joke was meant to be written out at all; in general jokes based on homophone double entendre lose out when written out.
on the other hand, i've been recently seeing jokes (more and more) that couldn't be told outside of the internet (or would be very difficult).
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16 Sep 2005, 17:39
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#32
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Who?
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: #Comfy
Posts: 743
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
i don't think that joke was meant to be written out at all; in general jokes based on homophone double entendre lose out when written out.
on the other hand, i've been recently seeing jokes (more and more) that couldn't be told outside of the internet (or would be very difficult).
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Couldn't agree more.
I still don't mind seeing these jokes though, considering this is all text based communication!
__________________
#cnuts
For all your homoerotic needs
<Bobzy> Minty, you have a line for everything
<Queen> MINTY ROCKS
<Ice-Lady> minty is a odd boy
<Game> Minty rocks
<Queen> no minty..cos u rock
<HobbieRogue4> Minty, you stone!
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16 Sep 2005, 19:39
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#33
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Love's Sweet Exile
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Living on a Stair (Now Sword-less)
Posts: 2,371
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minty
Shouldn't it of been
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How awfully common
__________________
--SYMM--
Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do
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16 Sep 2005, 19:54
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#34
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Who?
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: #Comfy
Posts: 743
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Re: A funny joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by SYMM
How awfully common
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Shouldn't it HAVE been
I'm from Essex, innit
__________________
#cnuts
For all your homoerotic needs
<Bobzy> Minty, you have a line for everything
<Queen> MINTY ROCKS
<Ice-Lady> minty is a odd boy
<Game> Minty rocks
<Queen> no minty..cos u rock
<HobbieRogue4> Minty, you stone!
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